Menage on 34th Street (7 page)

“I’d never get past the board that makes the selections,” Hunter confirmed.

Kat’s eyebrows drew together. “I thought the military had backed off the whole gay thing.”

Hunter gave Kat an exasperated look. “Sure. On paper, anyway. And in reality for the most part. But we aren’t even talking about gay here. The truth is if I were gay it would be easier. We’re talking about me being in a relationship with a married couple. Like I said, the Corps is pretty conservative. That would blow my chances out of the water.”

“Then there is no reason to continue this conversation,” Kat said sadly, moving to push back from the table.

Hunter grabbed her hand. “There is every reason to continue it.”

Kat stared down at his fingers. “I can’t just turn off part of who I am.”

“I’m not asking you to.” Threading his fingers between hers, Hunter said, “I’m asking you to give us a chance.”

She raised her head and met his eyes. “Us? You and I? I don’t understand what you want from me.”

Hunter shook his head before glancing at Liam. Liam clearly read the message there.
Your ball.

“All of us,” Liam answered her. “Give all of us a chance.”

Kat snapped her head around to look at Liam. “Right now I don’t know where you and I stand. I’m pissed and sad and tired.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You said that already.” Her tone was flat. Not a good sign.

“I guess I did. I am, though, K-K.”

She studied him. “Why did you do it?”

Liam shrugged. “I just want you to be happy. I want
us
to be happy. I thought...well, it doesn’t really matter what I thought, does it? It only matters that it didn’t work how I expected, and now you’re hurt anyway, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Kat shook her head. “You can’t ‘fix’ it, Liam. Hunter is a person, I am a person. You don’t ‘fix’ people like you do problems with a site drawing.”

He frowned. That wasn’t what he’d meant. “Maybe
fix
is the wrong word. Make it better, I guess.”

Kat pulled free of Hunter’s hold. “Maybe. But I thought honesty and openness was the...the bones of our marriage. How am I supposed to go forward, knowing you lied to me? Liam, you cut me off at the knees.”

Jesus, she really knew how to hit him in his weak spots. He rubbed his hands over his face.

“God, K-K. I didn’t mean to hurt you when I asked Hunter to join us tonight. I just wanted to make our family whole. I think Hunter is that piece.”

Kat leaned back in her chair, staring at him. “I didn’t know that you didn’t think our family
was
whole.”

Liam froze, realizing he now faced not only one but two tears in the fabric of his marriage.

Silence stretched between them for long moments.

Hunter cleared his throat. “Maybe I should go.”

Liam’s instinctive protest echoed Kat’s sharp disagreement.

“No. If you want to be part of this, you have to be part of all of it. You can’t just pick and choose.”

Hunter rolled his shoulders like a fighter preparing for a bout. “All right.”

Kat shifted her attention back to Liam. “Well?”

“I don’t think I realized I thought something was missing until just recently. I’m getting too old for this, Kat. I don’t want to have to start over again with every new partner.”

“You’re talking about a relationship. You want to add a permanent third. And you don’t mean only if it’s Hunter.”

Hunter made a noise, but Liam couldn’t pin down if it was hurt or anger. Liam didn’t want either option. He rubbed his face again, then shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never imagined anyone but Hunter in that spot.”

“I don’t understand what you want.”

“I’m not sure
I
know what I want. I know that I’m tired of finding new partners. I’m tired of doing the health checks and constantly worrying about testing. I love you. I love our relationship. But both of us have needs that are bigger than just the two of us. I want to...” He barked out a laugh. “I want everything.”

He didn’t know how to explain what he wanted. He wasn’t dissatisfied with her, or with their marriage. It was that he wanted a third person to be part of that marriage. And he wanted that person to be Hunter.

“Liam. The one unbreakable rule of our marriage is communication. You know that. And you’ve broken it.”

“I know it.”

“You can’t keep doing this. It’s one thing to try to make things go your way. It’s something else entirely to make life-altering decisions for me without consulting me. Or for Hunter. Or for anyone.”

Liam frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You kept Hunter’s note from me. Effectively, you made my decision for me. And for Hunter. That’s not okay. You did the same thing when you lied to Hunter about my being here. You decided to force the issue of a threesome without any input from either of us. Also not okay.”

“I just want us all to be happy. Is that so bad?”

“No. But did it occur to you to discuss it with me? Then or now?”

“Sure.” Evidently that was the right answer, because her shoulders relaxed.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“How can you know that? How can you know what might have been?”

Liam’s pale brows came together. “Hunter had his mind made up.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’ll take that one,” Hunter interrupted. “When I came by, he tried to talk me out of going. I told him to fuck off.”

Liam raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t expected Hunter to go to bat for him.

“What did you think was different now than when we were teenagers?”

“The world has changed,” Liam pointed out. “Gay marriage, the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, hell the Marines are even offering spousal benefits to gay married couples.”

“So? Do you think that his dad’s bigoted bullshit suddenly disappeared from Hunter’s brain?”

“Leave my dad out of this,” Hunter growled.

“He’s been dead for years,” Liam said defensively.

“Seriously?” Kat’s incredulous expression echoed her tone. “Liam, your parents have been dead and gone for nearly twenty years. Are you going to honestly try to tell me that their shit doesn’t affect you today?”

The blood drained from his head. Shit. He hadn’t thought of it like that.

Relentlessly, she drove the point home. “Eight years in foster homes didn’t erase their crap. All the years since haven’t done it, either. You’re still trying to create stability around you. You need that stability because you didn’t have it with them. Do you really think Hunter’s dad didn’t affect him just as much?”

“Leave that bastard out of it,” Hunter repeated.

Kat turned on him. “How? Are you really going to tell me he had nothing to do with you running?”

“That’s past. He’s dead. That’s dead.”

“It’s not dead as long as you let him have power over you.”

“What the fuck do you think I’m doing here, Kat? I made my peace with my old man years ago.”

“Fine. But Liam didn’t know that, did he?”

Hunter looked at her for a long moment. “No. No, he didn’t.”

Liam closed his eyes. “I didn’t...shit. I didn’t think about it that way.”

Silence fell over the table. When Kat spoke again, her voice had lost some of its razor edge. “No, you didn’t. That’s why you can’t make decisions for other people. You can’t know everything. No one can.”

He opened his eyes and gave her a wry smile, though it hurt. “I guess that’s your way of telling me I’m not omniscient?”

“No. It’s my way of telling you to stop making decisions for other people.”

She was going to forgive him. If she were going to cut him loose, she wouldn’t bother laying down the rules. The last of the tension slid away.

“You’re a tough lady.”

“I’m
right
. You just don’t like it.”

“This is why I don’t fight with her,” he told Hunter.

Kat frowned. “We rarely fight.”

Liam nodded. “Yeah. Because you win. And I really hate losing.”

Hunter barked out a laugh. “Yeah, you do.”

She frowned at both men before pointing one perfectly manicured nail at Liam’s chest. “I’m forgiving you, but you can’t do this again.”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his palms over his knees under the table. He felt like he needed to reaffirm his connection to her, but he wasn’t sure how to do it. “Thanks. I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you, K-K.”

“Let’s hope you never have to find out.” Kat looked away from Liam and spoke to Hunter. “I do know what I would do without you but I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t know if I even can go back to that after tonight. If you’re not going to stay—to be with both of us—you have to go. Liam and I are a package deal. But I believe you’re meant to be part of our package, too. It’s your choice to make. You can’t turn around down the line and accuse me or Liam of manipulating you. So...choose. Choose now. I’m going to make coffee.”

Kat picked up her plate and carried it into the kitchen, leaving Liam and Hunter staring across at each other.

Hunter spoke first. “What just happened?”

“She put her cards on the table. It’s good that she’s talking. It means she’s not supremely pissed anymore.” Liam thought about asking Hunter to lay his feelings out there, too, but decided he’d pushed enough for one night. Since Hunter hadn’t immediately bolted when Kat told him to choose, Liam held on to a measure of hope that Hunter shared their desire and willingness to explore their potential.

“Yeah. How did you do that, by the way?”

Liam frowned as Hunter brought him back to the moment. “Do what?”

Hunter jerked his head toward the kitchen. “Defuse her that way.”

Liam thought about it for a moment, listening to the sounds of Kat brewing coffee. The clatter of china told him she was getting the mugs down. “She’s not a bomb. I was wrong, I copped to it and apologized. Like I said, she’s usually right when we argue, so I try to avoid it.”

“Seems like there should be a trick to it. Most of the married guys I know have to beg or bribe.”

“No one ever said we couldn’t sweeten the pot with a little bribe.” Liam smiled slowly. “Employ that Marine self-control of yours and you might even get some begging, if that’s what you’re after.”

Hunter cocked his head to the side. “What did you have in mind?”

Chapter Six

Kat loaded the mugs along with sugar and cream onto a small tray. Playing hostess gave her something to do and gave her some time to process. The magnitude of her relief at hashing things out with Liam told her something important. Despite his lie, despite his manipulation, she wanted their marriage. She’d known when she married him that he had a wide controlling streak that manifested in maneuvering people around him to suit himself. Given the chaos and disorder of his childhood, it wasn’t exactly shocking that he’d become so adept at it. With that need for control, it shouldn’t surprise her that he needed a more stable arrangement than their current approach. That didn’t make his manipulation okay.

Hunter, though. Hunter was both new and familiar and she wasn’t sure of her footing with him. He and Liam seemed to have come to an accord, and that was good. But she still wasn’t clear on what the ground rules were. She was afraid of making a mistake, of driving him away out of ignorance. He wasn’t exactly known for talking through his feelings before acting upon them. Maybe his willingness to stay—even to participate—while she’d hashed things out with Liam was a sign that he’d changed over the years. One of several signs, really. Still, the sooner she figured out the rules, the better.

Taking a deep breath, she lifted the tray and headed back into the dining area.

The low murmur of their voices cut off abruptly when she approached. She’d have to be on her toes for sure. She poured the coffee in silence, then sat down and stirred sugar into hers. Neither Liam nor Hunter bothered with additions.

“This is good.”

Kat raised her eyebrows at the surprise in Hunter’s tone. “You expected me to serve you subpar coffee?”

“No, of course not.” He saved himself from further comment by lifting his mug to his lips.

“How does a Marine get to be a coffee snob?” Liam asked. “I figured you’d have freeze-dried crystals running through your veins.”

Hunter shrugged. “About six years ago, someone named Amy sent a care package that contained a grinder, a pound of beans and a French press. I could’ve married that woman. Converted me for life. What about you two? I remember you swilling instant coffee with the rest of us.”

“I spent a little time working at a local roastery before my fashion sense started paying the bills.” Kat spoke around a twinge of jealousy. Absurd, uncharacteristic jealousy, but she couldn’t help it. If things had been different, she probably would have been the one sending care packages overseas, making sure Hunter had things like good coffee and luxury shaving cream. Determined to be that person the next time he deployed, she met and held his gaze. “You didn’t have to wait for strangers to think of you. You could have had me and Liam.”

He tensed but didn’t deny her claim.

“We’re both flexible, geographically speaking. I’m self-employed and I can work anywhere. Liam has contracts but he only goes on location a few times per project. We could go with you wherever you go. We would
want
to go with you wherever you go.”

“Kat—” Liam started to interrupt, but she held up a hand.

“Don’t say no. Just think about it. Please?”

“I have been thinking about it.”

Kat stared at him, unsure she’d heard correctly. “You have?”

Hunter straightened and rolled his shoulders. “Yeah.”

“And?”

Silence spun between them for a moment. Kat drank her coffee, trying to blank out all the coercive arguments she wanted to present.

Liam’s confession of wanting a permanent third had tripped an emotional trigger of her own. It had to be Hunter. Liam claimed she had too much love to ever be happy with one man only, and he was right...to an extent. Physically, she was up for anything. Emotionally, the rest of her had been filled with Hunter for years. If she had any sort of psych background, she’d diagnose herself as having been searching for him in every other casual partner she’d had.

Clearly the same was true of Liam.

“My life isn’t stationary,” Hunter said.

Kat set down her nearly empty mug.

“I’m career military. I didn’t opt out at the ten-year mark and at this point in time I’m not planning an early retirement. I’m not the only one of us with a career, either. You and Liam have built your own lives. You own a home, you both have careers. You both have friends here. Know what you’d have if you started following me all over the globe?”

“We would have you.” But Hunter was shaking his head before she finished.

“You wouldn’t have me. You would have each other and fuck-all else. Military wives become a community all their own and military kids band together as best they can, but you wouldn’t be a military wife and any kids you and Liam have wouldn’t be military kids. You’d be living on your own without access to a support network.” His tone turned grim. “You wouldn’t be the people notified in the event of my injury or death.”

Kat exhaled slowly and forced herself to face reality as outlined by Hunter. “I admit aspects of our life would be less than ideal. But—
but
,” she stressed when he opened his mouth to interrupt her, “nobody has a completely safe, one-hundred-percent risk-free existence. I understand you’re concerned about what we wouldn’t have, but what about the things we would have? What
you
would have?”

“Imagine what the three of us could be together,” Liam put in.

“I have imagined it. I want it, but I don’t want you to go in blind. I see too many relationships crash and burn because people don’t really know what they’re getting.”

“Anything is more than we have now,” Liam pointed out.

Kat angled toward him in her chair and tipped her head back so she could meet his eyes. “So now what?”

“So now we see if we can make it work.”

Kat’s heart thudded heavily in her chest as both men rose from their seats. Hunter’s focused, hungry gaze held hers. He gently lifted her hand from the table, urging her up. Without a word, Liam crossed the living room, skirting the tree in order to pull the drapes closed.

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Probably sometimes.” Hunter drew her away from the table. Instead of immediately following Liam, he held her in the circle of his body heat. His hand flexed around her fingers and he dipped his head toward her. Closing her eyes, she angled to accept his kiss.

It didn’t come.

Without opening her eyes, she said, “Do it.”

“Is it that easy for you?”

“Kissing? Yes. I part my lips and settle in to enjoy.”

Hunter breathed a frustrated sound. “Not the sex. The other stuff.”

That got her eyes open. “I’m not doing anything behind Liam’s back. We’re honest with each other, and he’s said he wants this relationship between the three of us. He understands there will be emotions that are just between you and me, and I understand there will be emotions just between you and him.”

“This is fucking complicated.”

“Only as complicated as you make it.” Unwilling to wait any longer, she rose on tiptoe and finished what Hunter had started. Kissing him was very different from being kissed by him. She had to coax him into letting her in, and then he retreated from her advances as if unaccustomed to being on the receiving end.

Pulling her hand from his, she bunched his shirt in her fists and started to yank it up his torso. Hunter wrapped his fingers around her wrists, stilling her hands. She protested, but the sound was muffled by his mouth on hers. He pulled back, still holding her wrists, to look down at her.

“This time is going to be different, Kat. This time I’m not angry with either of you.”

“That’s a good thing from where I’m standing. It’d be a better thing if you’d let go of my wrists.”

He shook his head and used his grip to lead her around the sofa and in front of the tree where Liam waited for them.

“Have a seat, K-K,” Liam invited.

“What’s going on here, guys?”

Liam smiled, and a thrill of alarm chased up her spine. When Liam gave her that particular grin, it spelled trouble. Usually of the most erotic sort.

“I know I screwed up, baby. I love you and want you to be happy, and I’m very grateful that you’re willing to forgive me. But Hunter pointed out that maybe I need to make some amends, show you how grateful I can be.”

“We,” Hunter interrupted, releasing her. “How grateful
we
can be. You haven’t even really called me on the fact that I bailed. I left a note, but you didn’t know that, and more importantly, you deserved more than that half-assed note. I should have said goodbye in person.”

Kat dropped onto the couch. “Why didn’t you?” It was something that had always bothered her, but she’d dealt with the hurt of it years ago.

Hunter shrugged. “I wasn’t ready to do this then, and I was afraid you’d tell me exactly what you would have—that I wasn’t enough for you. I didn’t want to hear it, and I damned sure didn’t want to deal with anything else.”

That tracked. “But you’re ready now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. And we’re going to show you how happy we are that you didn’t let either of us fuck this up.”

She squirmed on the cushion. “Yeah, well. It’s Christmas. It seemed like the thing to do.”

Liam gave her a level look. “No joking, K-K. One of the things I love about you is that you are so much more mellow than I am. It helps keep me grounded, reminds me of my priorities. So when I fuck up badly enough that you lose your cool, I know it’s on me. This could have been ugly, but you didn’t let it go that way.”

Distinctly uncomfortable, Kat looked down at the hands lying palms up in her lap. She didn’t know what to say to either of them that wouldn’t sound cheesy or fake. Instead, she let the silence stretch until Liam sank onto the cushion next to her.

He cupped her jaw, turning her face toward him. “I just want you to know I love you, and I’m really, really happy the three of us are together tonight.”

“Me, too,” she whispered just before his lips brushed hers.

Liam’s kiss was the polar opposite of her kiss moments ago with Hunter. This time she was tentative, unsure what he wanted from her, what she wanted from him. It didn’t matter, though. When he pulled her close against him, it felt right, and she relaxed. The little sparks of sexual awareness he lit inside her chased away her uncertainty, and in moments she met his kiss with the hunger and demand of her own. This was her man, these were her
men
, and they wanted to make her feel good.

Liam ended the kiss, pulling away from her and dropping his hands from her face. She turned her head to look at Hunter, who watched them with fierce concentration. “Why are we all still dressed?”

Kat’s question seemed to galvanize Hunter, who stripped off his shirt and pants in the time it took Liam to lever himself off the couch.

Chuckling, Liam followed suit, his clothes draped over the arm of the sofa.

Kat didn’t know whether to be thankful or disappointed that Hunter had left his shorts on. He didn’t look at her, instead muttering a curse and turning to dig through his pants.

She drank in the details she’d missed before. She’d noticed the hard muscles of his shoulders and chest, the defined ridges of his abdomen. She hadn’t noted the tattoo. The outline of boots disappeared beneath the elastic of his shorts, but the gun barrel rose along his spine, the butt of the gun capped by a helmet. She’d seen similar images in the press, but she hadn’t expected to see it inked onto Hunter’s back. The tattoo jolted her enough that it took her a few seconds to notice the long arc of scar tissue along the left side of his rib cage. There were more scars on the left side of his back, smaller white lines that stood out starkly from his tanned skin.

Her lungs seized in horror. He’d been injured.

“What happened?”

“Huh?” Hunter turned back to her, a condom in his hand.

She drew in a calming breath. “What happened? How did you get the scars?”

“Oh.” He shrugged. “Caught some shrapnel.”

“They don’t look new.”

He shook his head. “No, that was my second tour in Iraq.”

“What? What are you...oh.” Liam stilled, then stepped around to study Hunter’s back.

Kat let that settle. She’d known he was a Marine. Known he’d seen combat. But knowing it and seeing the evidence were two different things. “You’ve been in combat a lot, haven’t you?”

“Depends on what you mean by a lot. I did three tours in Iraq, just finished my second in Afghanistan.”

Liam slanted a look at her before asking, “The tattoo?”

“I’ve lost a lot of friends. It seemed important to put it in ink.”

She nodded, unable to do anything else.

He waited a beat before stepping toward her and dropping the condom into her lap.

The quiet crinkle of the foil released her from her stunned state and she slumped back into the chair. He’d nearly died. He could say it wasn’t a big deal, but those scars told a different story. Somehow, in the years she’d thought of him in the Marines, she hadn’t thought about him in danger. She’d somehow convinced herself he was safely out of harm’s way. She’d been a fool.

Now it was her turn to wonder if this could work. Suddenly she realized what military spouses everywhere knew. You couldn’t whitewash the danger, couldn’t sugarcoat the possibility of death. She had to decide if she could live with facing that very real terror every day. She’d known, intellectually, that being connected to someone in the military would be a challenge. Between the travel and the moving, they’d have to form their own support network. He was right about that—they wouldn’t be able to use the resources available to other military families.

But he was worth it. They were worth it. Her eyes met Liam’s over Hunter’s shoulder, and he nodded. She knew he’d been thinking the same thing.

She picked up the condom. “You want this now or later, Marine?”

“Why don’t you hold onto it for now?”

She smiled up at him and tossed the condom onto the end table.

Liam moved up beside Hunter. “You’re still dressed. Why is that?”

“Because you put me on the sofa?”

“Excellent point. We’ll just fix that.” He helped her stand, but before she could do much more than let go of Liam’s hand, Hunter was kneeling in front of her stripping off her boots and socks.