Memory: Volume 3, How Far We Have Come, A Tale of Pride and Prejudice (Memory: A Tale of Pride and Prejudice) (83 page)

Mrs. Bennet looked over to her.  “Go ahead, gloat.”

“No, that is not necessary, you created this, and you will live with it.  I have never sought revenge.”

“What did you want?”   

“Two things.”  Elizabeth said softly.  “Two things you always had from me.  Love and respect.”  She stood and looked down at her.

“Elizabeth?”  Darcy appeared by her side and took her hand.  “It is time to go.”

“Of course, Fitzwilliam.”  She smiled and turned away. 

He bent down to her.  “Are we through here, love?”

“Yes.”  She breathed deeply and let it go.  “At last.”

19 OCTOBER 1811

I could not retire this night before recording my thoughts.  I have said before, innumerable times, how proud I am to be husband to Elizabeth Darcy, but tonight, once again, she has left me in awe.  My dear wife walked into Lucas Lodge, nervous, but determined.  She had no more desire to pretend pleasantries with her mother than I did, but that is the difference.  Where I would have vastly preferred waving off our friends and remaining at Netherfield to enjoy our time alone, she saw her duty and swallowed her misgivings.  She walked into that home, prepared to represent a public face of family that was cordial and respectful to a neighbourhood that she will likely never visit again.  She knew full well the power of her condescension, and the weight of her approval on the life of her family, particularly her mother.   She did this out of love.

She took her mother’s anger with grace.  She responded without bitterness.  She rose so far above the woman who bore her.  I cannot express fully the pride that fills my breast when I think of her.  I wonder if Mrs. Bennet understands Elizabeth’s last words.  I doubt it.  But that does not matter.  Elizabeth does.  And at last she was able to express them, and now at last she may walk away in peace.  She has set the terms.  I, in my desperate desire to protect her, and perhaps in my arrogance of believing that my actions could repair anything, failed.  I may have ordered that we never see Mrs. Bennet again, but it was Elizabeth who had to sever the ties.  Forgive me love for not seeing that, thank you for teaching me.

In the end it was not the chastisement and correction, punishment or bitter pronouncements that reached Mrs. Bennet.  It was the humiliation of her peers.  Poetic justice.  The ones from whom she sought approval were never her family, it was from her friends that she craved attention.  And now they laugh at her. 

My love sleeps peacefully just steps away.  I think it is time that I join her.

Darcy extinguished the lone candle and closed his journal.  Standing, he added wood to the fire and removed his robe, pausing to look down at Elizabeth’s sleeping form.  Climbing into the bed, he curled around her, closing his eyes and resting his face on her pillow.   His hand caressed over the baby; and at last felt a little kick.  He drew in his breath and waited, listening to the crackle of the fire.  His eyes remained closed, and he prayed that it was not his imagination.  Again he felt that little movement.  “There you are; little one.”  Darcy whispered, trying hard to contain his joy so that Elizabeth would not wake, but hugging her just the same.  “Now go to sleep.  We will tell Mama in the morning.”

Chapter 26

“C
hurch.”  Elizabeth whispered.  Darcy grunted and curled further around her.  “Fitzwilliam, trapping me in your embrace will not change the fact that we have to go.”

Opening one eye, he glanced at the window, pretending to see through the curtains.  “It is raining.”

Laughing, she tried to turn her head to see his face.  “Have you special talents that allow you to know the weather without looking through the glass?”

He hooked his chin over her shoulder and smiled, relieved to hear her tease.  “I do have special talents, love.  Shall I demonstrate?”  Moving his hands around her, the nightdress began to rise.  “You fell asleep before I could soothe you last night.” 

“It was a very trying evening, I was just glad to come to bed.”  She closed her eyes and leaned back against his chest as they joined.  “ohhh.”

“mmmm.”  Darcy murmured against her ear and began to move.  “That is better.  Sooooo warm and snug.”  He caressed over her as he rocked.  “This is the way to spend a rainy day.”  Kissing her shoulder and up to her neck, he nibbled her earlobe.  “We will remain right here, under the covers.”

Elizabeth moved with him, moaning softly and stroking over his hands as he held her.  “That sounds just . . . just lovely.”  He began nipping at her throat.  “Ohhhh, Will that feels . . . no marks!”  She gasped suddenly.

“Why?”  He growled and suckled that special spot below her ear, all the while continuing his passionate caress.  “Everyone must know you are mine.”

“Gown . . . ohhhhh . . . dance . . . oohhh . . . oh, I do not care.”  She surrendered and melted against him.  “More, bite me!” 

Darcy licked her throat and kissed the tender spot, “
That
is what I wanted to hear.”   His voice dripped with satisfaction.

“You were teasing me!”

“I was, and you are helpless to resist.”  His eyes grew wide when she began to move, circling her hips and thrusting back as he moved forward.  “Oh . . .”  He choked out when she assumed control.  “What, what are you . . .”  She tilted her head back and finding the pounding pulse in his throat, lifted her arms up to hold him still and savoured him relentlessly.  The intense pleasure of her lovemaking was his undoing.  “Oh . . . you feel . . . Lizzy . . .”  Darcy gasped.  “Too soon . . .”  Closing his eyes his clutch tightened as he fought to hold on. 

Feeling his struggle, she stopped her movement and let him go, relaxing back against him to hug his arms, and kissed his shoulder.  “Let go, Will.”

“I . . .”  Giving in, he thrust rapidly and with a cry shuddered against her.  His warm breath puffed over her and his face buried against her shoulder.

Elizabeth started to laugh, she was utterly encased within his arms, and his body, for all intents and purposes, had lost all support.  It was a very warm, very heavy, boneless man embracing her.  “You needed that.”

“I cannot begin to describe how much I needed that.”  He said hoarsely and breathed in deeply through his nose, “Wonderful . . . just . . . wonderful.”  He rubbed his bristly chin against her neck.  “mmmmmm . . . thank you.”

“You are most welcome.” 

They closed their eyes and Darcy’s fingers resumed touching her, bringing her to the same feeling of peaceful bliss. 

As her heartbeat slowed, he lovingly stroked her belly, and whispered against her ear. “I felt our baby move last night.” 

“You did?”  Elizabeth attempted to see him.  “Why did you not wake me?”

“You needed the sleep, and I had to have a talk with this new Darcy.”

“Of course.”  She laughed and snuggled back against him.  “And what did you say?  Were you setting some rules?”

“I said that he is the most fortunate child in the world to have such an outstanding mother.  I am in awe of you, and so very, very proud.”

“I do not feel pride; I guess that I only feel relief.”  Darcy kissed her cheek.  “Maybe I should . . .”

“No.” 

“You do not know what I was going to say!”

“Yes I do.  You are a compassionate woman, but I will not allow you to do anything that puts you back in the position of trying to appease your mother.  It is done, do you hear me?”

Elizabeth whispered.  “She is going to make everyone miserable.”

“That is her forté, and your father had a hand in allowing her to become what she is, so he should be the one to bear her.”  His gaze was serious.  “No.  No guilt, no regrets.  You were not the cause of her downfall, and it was the ladies in the room who revealed her hypocrisy.  You gave her every chance in the world, love, and made the break with grace.  You cannot go back now.  I will not allow it.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, Will.”  Turning in his arms, she caressed his cheek.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  Snuggling back down, he closed his eyes.  “Sleep.”

“Church.”

“Rain.”

“Excuse.”

“Lizzy . . .”

“Sir.”

“Sir?”

“SIR.” 

Darcy sighed.  “I have been struck down by your determined tongue, madam.  Very well, we will go, but it is early.  Five more minutes of sleep.”  Smiling at her, he kissed her nose.  “Your eyes are upbraiding me.”

“My mind is as well.” 

“Close your eyes and relax your mind.”  He whispered and drew her head down to his chest.  “Five more minutes.”

“ARE YOU READY?”  Charlotte poked her head into Jane’s chambers and stood behind her while she dressed her hair.   “Here, let me help.” 

“Thank you.”  She watched her pin a last blonde lock in place and smiled at her sister in the mirror.  “This reminds me of growing up at Longbourn, all of us dressing each other.” 

“Well you and I certainly have enough experience with that.  No fancy homes full of servants for us.”  She sat down on the bed and looked around.  “It seems so odd to be sleeping in this house again.”

“What is it like, having your own little home?  I cannot wait to be in ours.”

“Oh, it is a pleasure that I can hardly describe.”  Charlotte gathered her thoughts.  “I honestly never really thought I would marry, being so plain.”  She stopped Jane’s protest quickly, “Yes, I am, I know it.  But dear Michael . . .”

“
Dear Michael
?
”  Jane smiled.  “I am sure that I have never heard you apply an endearment to anybody, Charlotte, in fact when you married, I thought that you two were just friends.”

“Well that has changed.”  She became businesslike.  “But the point is that I am married to a good man and I have my own home.  He is everything that a sensible woman could desire.”

“Very well, Charlotte, but . . . ohhhhh what would Lizzy say?  She would quote something about protesting . . .”

“Something Shakespearian, I am sure.”  They laughed and Jane jumped and looked down.  

“Is everything fine with the baby?  You look so tired this morning.”

“Oh.”  Jane touched her belly.  “Yes, he is fine, at least I think so.  He seems to be in perpetual motion.  That has to be a good sign.”  She looked up to her sister.  “We were up half the night talking.  We had such hopes for a peaceful evening.  Robert wanted to thank all of the men for helping with the house.  All of that was forgotten.”  She looked down sadly.

“He was not going to make a speech, was he?”  Charlotte laughed and tried to cheer her.  “If so, I think that we are better off.  I know enough of these gentlemen now that they would either be highly embarrassed or tease him mercilessly.” 

“I think it is both.”  Jane smiled.  “I believe he wanted to toast them, that is not so bad.  Maybe at the assembly he can try again, it would not be as noticeable in the crowd at the supper tables.”

“Should I warn Michael?”

“No, let him be as unprepared as the rest of them.  No advantages in his teasing!”  Her smile faltering, she looked to her hands.  “I will miss everyone when they are gone.  It has been so nice to have you here in the house, and Lizzy and Mary nearby.”

“You will still have Kitty at Longbourn.” 

“I do not know.  Mary was correct, she should leave, she should not have to bear Mama’s miseries, even with Mrs. Annesley there to protect her, it would not be easy.  I wonder what Lydia’s reaction will be.”

“She comes today?”

“Yes, Papa and Kitty were going to collect her after church, but I have a feeling that they might skip that circus and just go straight to the school.”

“I certainly would, no matter how many more whispers it inspires.”

Lucas popped his head in the door.  “Dear, it is time to get on.”  Looking over Charlotte, he smiled.  “Quit your gabbing.”

“We were talking about you.”  She lifted her chin.

Lucas shrugged.  “I have no secrets, besides, Michael was talking about you!”  Grinning, he left and called over his shoulder, “Come on Cherry Blossom!”  Charlotte’s eyes closed and she groaned. 

“
Cherry Blossom
?”  Jane’s hand went over her mouth and she started to laugh.  Charlotte glared at her.  “I am sorry, I am, truly, but I really needed to laugh.”  Getting to her feet, she took Charlotte’s hand.  “Oh it is good to see you blush!”

“Come on.”  Charlotte said huffily and led the way out.  “Enjoy your amusement for now.”

The Lucas family drove to the church and the occupants of both vehicles were at least temporarily relieved with what they saw.  Jane took Lucas’ hand and stepped down from the curricle.  All seemed normal.  “This is encouraging.”

“I am not surprised, our dinner guests do not attend here, the story has yet to come to these ears.”  Lady Lucas studied the crowd and saw that Jane was not looking at her charitably.  “I apologized for the seating, it was manipulative of me and rude to your sister, but I certainly cannot be blamed for the rift between your mother and Mrs. Darcy being exposed, and definitely cannot be blamed for your mother’s duplicity!  I knew nothing of this!”

“If they had been seated properly, Mama might have had more control!” 

“Jane, before we entered the dining room, your mother was losing control.”  Charlotte reminded her.  

“Mrs. Darcy was extraordinary in how she remained calm.”  Lady Lucas said with clear admiration.

Jane looked up.  “So you would agree that she is worthy of praise?”

“Oh without a doubt, I have never seen more poise.”  Lady Lucas looked to her son and Sir William.   “Have either of you?  You have seen the ladies in town.”

“She ranks with them, and perhaps above because she also displays kindness.”  Lucas looked to Michael.  “Empathy.” 

“I watched her take on Lady Catherine in much the same way; this was not a one-time experience for her.”

“So you would all agree that my sister is commendable?”  Jane looked from one to another.