Memory of Morning (5 page)

First there'd been the Red Fever - of which there were still outbreaks. And then the war with the Fram, as well as the pirate depredations. Except for the twice yearly Solstice Song, public celebrations had become a thing of the golden age of the past.

"The declaration of a Public Season didn't come from the Dowager," Mother said. "The Emperor himself read the document from pulpit at First Temple, and a copy of it has been sent to every other temple in the country."

"Why?" I asked.

"That is so
you.
What does it matter?" Belladem asked.

I knew what Bell meant - I always think things through, probably think too much. I analyze, and spontaneity is a stranger to my makeup. I have this tendency to find layer upon layer of meaning when situations can be perfectly simple. I can confuse issues when I could just be having fun.

Mother sighed. "To put it simply, your aunts and I have decided to use this opportunity to go spouse hunting for all available Cliff and Owl offspring. That includes you," she added. She had her arms crossed and a stubborn look to her, as though she almost welcomed the coming argument.

I opened my mouth to oblige her. I closed my mouth. I mirrored mother by crossing my own arms. I thought about it, which is what I do. Images of two men danced through my head. Two impossible choices. Not even choices, really. I could have as many longings, fond memories, and regrets as I wanted, but I was not stupid enough to hold out any forlorn hope. Dane Copper was already married, for the All's sake! Any liaison with Samel Swan would ruin both our careers, not that he'd ever shown any interest other than all our long hours of conversation. As wonderful as those talks had been, most of them had been conducted in public view while the pair of us perched on a twelve-pounder cannon as 'our spot' on the
Moonrunner's
main deck. I had to make a start of putting the
Moonrunner
behind me.

"How long will this excursion to Loudon be?" I asked.

"The relations have taken a house in Town for the whole summer," mother said. She was still looking defensive. "I've spoken to the directors of Mercy Home, and they would welcome a freshly certified surgeon's volunteering some time to them."

Ah, ha! She expected an argument about that as well as complaints about time wasted husband hunting among the better ranks of society. Mother and I had clashed before over her impulse toward complete charity and my interest in acquiring a secure livelihood.

She relishes argument - uh, lively debate - so I hope she wasn't disappointed when I said, "I think a stint at Mercy House is just what I need. And a few parties and some frivolity would be welcome. I wouldn't even mind meeting the right man," I made myself add.

"You don't think it's all silly?" Bell asked. "You haven't become even more serious after spending two years at war?"

"More serious?" I was about to complain that I certainly wasn't all
that
serious when something that had been said earlier finally penetrated my consciousness. I looked at my sister. "Mother said the husband hunting included me, but what about you, Bell?"

Bell sprang off the bed and rushed forward to hug me. Star bounced around us, barking.

"I don't need to go hunting," Belladem said. "I've already found the man I'm going to marry."

Chapter Six

Belladem had a great deal to tell, and I was far happier spending my first day back among my family learning the happy news of her romance than having to answer questions about my adventures at sea. Those questions would come and I had stories to tell, but at the moment the separation from my shipmates was a sudden, unexpectedly painful wound and I was glad not to have to deal with it.

Of course, first I had to deal with the fact that my sister was getting married. Yes, all four of us were adults and living our own lives. Three of us had gone off to war, but-- Married? Bell? Mistress of her own household and independent of our parents. Maybe even of the family, considering who she was marrying.

Her betrothed was named Dwie Kestrel. He was not heir to the premier Kestrel line, of course. A marriage between him and Belladem would never be considered, no matter how rich the Cliffs were and how famous Bell was, if he was the heir. He was the second son of a secondary line.

She'd been going on about her Dwie for quite some time when we settled down to tea in one of Mrs. Lilac's parlors in the middle of the afternoon. We were served an herbal mint infusion rather than a proper black tea. It made me wonder if the Framin blockade of our shipping was being more effective lately, but I concentrated on family rather than navy business.

"How did you meet, you and this paragon?" I asked.

I knew that he was handsome, charming, charitable, intelligent, kind, good, brave, devout to his goddess if a bit skeptical about the All, had a fine singing voice. I had been shown a miniature portrait of a dark-haired young man in fashionably high collar and dark gray coat - he was handsome, though his hair seemed a bit thin above the temples.

"He's a cleric, too. I thought I told you."

"You told me he serves the goddess of Justice. Oh, you mean he
serves
her. How?"

"As a peacekeeper and Apprehender," Bell answered proudly. "A criminal apprehender, can you imagine? He tells me it isn't exciting, but he's only trying not to worry me."

I sat back in my chair, eyeing my sister in impressed surprise. I was impressed at her young nobleman taking on a civil career with less prestige if just as much risk as the military.

"How did you meet such a man? Did he stop a robber from snatching your bag? Did he keep a murderer from interrupting one of your concerts?"

Bell laughed. "His temple choir took part in the First Temple solstice festival last winter. We met at choir practice."

What an absolutely wonderfully ordinary way to meet the love of one's life.

I was about to say so when there was a light knock on the door and a maid came in. "For you, Dr. Cliff." She handed me an envelope and left.

"That was fast," I said when I saw the seal of the Naval Medical Home pressed into the wax. I assumed the date of my certificate examination had already been set. But that wasn't the information I found when I broke the seal and read what was inside. I sighed. "Already?"

She didn't have to serve Ang in this way. Still, she was correct, it had been quite a while, when the normal schedule for bleeding was four times a year.

"I hope they don't take all two years worth," I said.

"You better have an extra helping or two of meat at dinner," Mother said. She went back to her book.

Bell continued talking about Dwie. I went back to smiling and nodding encouragingly. Meanwhile, my stomach twisted with nervous dread. I
hate
bleeding - at least when it happens to me.

They saved the bad news until after dinner.

Not only had father brought along Mr. Cliff, but mother's assistant, Miss Apple was with her, so the parlor was a bit crowded when the six of us settled down to sweets and more mint tea after the evening meal. I was reveling in the taste of a fresh scone covered in strawberry jam when Father said, "Do you know about the Framin invasion of Conn?"

I looked at mother. The premier line of the Owl family was based in that port town on the northwest coast of Welis. I did not like her serious, sad expression.

I put down my plate, and tried to fight down a sense of dread. "There was mention of fighting around Conn in a news dispatch Captain Copper read to the crew."

Every now and then albatrosses - sleek, swift, clinker-built longboats - caught up to naval ships to deliver packets of mail and orders from the Admiralty. Even crew replacements get squeezed in as cargo in the narrow, swift boats.

"I worried about our relatives when I heard about Conn," I added. "But I hoped--"

"The town was destroyed," father said. "Owl House was smashed to the ground by cannon fire. Ten people died."

I looked around in shock at all the solemn faces. I caught and held my mother's gaze. "Ten? But--?" She nodded. "Even great grandmother?"

I had not loved that formidable, mean old snob, but how could she be gone?

"Every heir of the premier line was killed," father said. "The secondary line - well, your uncle and mother are now heads of the Owl family."

"Your uncle Charle is now head of the family," mother corrected. "He and I have worked that out."

A great deal of information rushed to the front of my mind. Maybe it was my brain's way of distracting me from the sharp pain of loss. Mother and Uncle Charle were twins, so of course they would jointly inherit. Mother had no interest or reason for returning to live on Welis to take her place among the Four Families of the island. Even so, her social status was raised a few notches, from that of a daughter of a tertiary noble family up to the secondary level of noble society. This improved the standing of her offspring, not legally, of course. In law, we Cliffs were still gentry, but our bloodline was more valuable in the class structure with mother's change in rank, especially in the marriage market we were about to enter. I was about to enter. Bell's future was already settled. Her future Kestrel in-laws must be pleased by this.

"May I have a sip of your brandy?" I asked father after a long silence where everyone in the room stared at me.

He brought me a large glass containing the tiniest amount of brandy. I was his innocent little girl who of course did not spend her time at sea sampling huge amounts of every form of alcoholic spirit imaginable, sometimes just to keep warm, never mind dulling fear and drowning grief. Not to mention pub nights and parties at university. Being his innocent little girl, I did not slug down the drink, but sipped delicately. The warmth it passed through me did help. But I didn't ask for more.

After such a day I was eager to go to bed, to snuggle under warm covers. Hot water was waiting in the bath chamber off my and Bell's room. She insisted I go first.

I had a bath, a proper naked in a tub of hot water with flower-scented soap bath. Oh, the joy of that! Star circled the tub suspiciously the whole time I was scrubbing and soaking. She didn't like this one little bit.

I gave Bell her turn with the water and put on a fresh new nightrail. You have no idea how sensuous the thin, floaty material felt against my skin. After two years of sleeping in a heavy chemise or in my clothes and shoes more often than not, an ordinary night gown was bliss. I whirled, flaring out the soft material around my legs, twisting it around my body until I was dizzy. Then I fell onto the bed and grew instantly disconcerted. It took me a bit to realize that this was because the bed wasn't moving. The house wasn't moving. And it was so very quiet! It was all so alien, as alien as talking to an octopus. I shivered at that memory and sat up when Belladem came into the bedroom.

"I didn't cry," I said as she got into the other side of the bed. "I found out family had been killed, and it didn't occur to me to cry." There were no tears in me even as I said it.

"You've been through a lot today," Bell answered. She pushed my head down on my pillow. "Go to sleep. Perhaps you can cry tomorrow."

Chapter Seven

Wise Belladem.

I didn't sleep very well, though. Or cry when I got out of bed long before dawn to stand looking out the window. Green Moon filled a quarter of the sky, pouring gentle light down on the world. Gray Moon was a silver thumbnail sliver. Red Moon was a fiery, distant dot. It was a perfect spring night, so I worked off my nerves and restlessness by dressing quietly - you learn the habit of not disturbing sleeping bunkmates on board ship - and took Star out for a long walk. The dog was totally fascinated by this new world of ours and I tried to match her enthusiasm. I really hadn't expected this return to my normal life to leave me so melancholy. All I could do was hope that I'd get past it in time. Sooner than later would be nice.

It was after dawn before Star and I returned to Lilac House. People were stirring by then. I begged some hearth-toasted bread and scrambled eggs from the kitchen rather than go through the formality of breakfast, changed clothes, and bespoke a ride down to the naval base which took up half of Seyemouth.

The Medical Home campus was my destination - not for just my morning appointment with the hematology department, though I reluctantly made my way there first. Only it turned out the building I was directed to wasn't actually divided up into specific departments.

The bleeding room was not to my liking. Oh, it was meant to be a cheerful place, the walls painted a lively yellow. A blue-and-white floral rug covered the floor. Instead of a bed or patient cot and a work table there was an upholstered chaise and low tea table. I put my hands on my hips and looked around, appalled.

"This is a waiting room?" I asked hopefully.