Memory of Morning (22 page)

"And know how to use them," I added for him.

Some of the tension drained out of me at his touch, even more at his words. A different tension entered me as I looked at him; a kind of hot tightening deep inside. "I am so confused," I said.

"You need a good meal," he said. "When was the last time you had a plate of fat fish?"

"Fat fish." My mouth watered at the words. My eyes possibly glazed over with lust. My stomach certainly rumbled with longing. "How do you know my weakness, sir?"

"Come with me, Doctor. I know the best fish shop in town."

My only hesitation was my frock. "Could you wait for me in the front hall?" I asked. "I'll join you as soon as I change clothes."

Chapter Thirty

"Will your family worry when it is noticed you are not at home? Or be scandalized by your being out with a man they have not been introduced to?"

I gave Apprehender Field a sardonic look over the top of the fat fish roll I'd been bringing up to my mouth. I hesitated biting into it long enough to say, "
Now
you bring up the subject of my absence - after you have lured me to my undoing."

"Fat fish isn't that unhealthy for you."

"Oh, yes it is."

I took a bite anyway. And sighed with pleasure as my mouth was seduced by the combination of hot, salt, soft, and crisp for the first time in ages. It was plain food, food for working folk, consisting of battered fish fried in bacon fat, covered with bacon strips, sprinkled with salt vinegar, and rolled in spongy flatbread. Try eating fat fish cold and it's a greasy lump of a mess, but eaten as it is meant to be, near boiling out of the pan, it is the All's own food.

This was actually my first time within the walls of a fish shop despite my addiction to the dish. The able seaman of the
Moonrunner
had always had the ladies of the ship wait outside such establishments when the ship was docked in far-flung Angish ports. They gallantly brought our fat fish to us. I felt almost scandalous and wanton being seated inside this Loudon fishy.

I ate about half of the fish roll before I contemplated my companion and surroundings once more. I had changed into one of the light, plain summer muslin dresses I'd had made to wear under medical smocks in the heat of summer. I'd taken the time to undo my hair from its party arrangement and braided it down my back. I hoped I did not look out of place in the small fish shop, which was one of many lining the street across from the Grand Canal docks. There were no more than six narrow tables in the place, boards laid across sawhorses more than proper tables. All were full; in fact we were lucky to have the privacy of this corner table without having to share. The air reeked of bacon and fish, and the tabletops were faintly sticky just from the grease in the air settling on the wood. Conversation was loud, and the sharp odor of sweat wafting from dockworkers squeezing past to fetch their suppers added to the miasma. I was reminded of the ever-present close-quarters aromas of shipboard life, and found the atmosphere rather comforting.

"I informed my mother that I needed to check on one of my patients at Mercy Home, and not to expect me to return tonight."

I knew I could not bear sharing my room with Seeli tonight. Nor did I want to find her bed empty if she chose to share quarters with Captain Copper. Though I prayed it hadn't come to that, or that I wouldn't make a scene if it had. I was glad to have my refuge among the Gray Women. I could spend time alone working through my emotions after leaving Apprehender Field.

Only, I was in no hurry to leave his company. He watched me devour my meal with a pleased smile, in between taking bites of his own roll. His attention was pleasant, even though his gaze was sharply discerning. Rather than making me feel awkward, I found him relaxing. Concentrating on my companion eased tension. I was very much at ease with this man.

"I like you, Apprehender Field."

"Jame. Please call me Jame, Dr. Cliff."

This intimacy delighted me, no matter how quickly we had come to it. "Call me Megere, then. How did you guess my weakness for fat fish?"

I shrugged. "No matter how much I think on it, I haven't yet made up my mind. Perhaps I'll know by the time I return to a tour of duty in Seyemouth in a few weeks."

He folded his hands before him on the tiny table. "Are you looking for a sailor husband, Seeker Cliff?"

"I might be," I admitted. "Though I wished now I had not gotten involved in the whole Seeker Season doings. I thought it would be a pleasant way to reconnect with my family after so much time spent apart."

"You aren't enjoying all the entertainments?"

"Certainly not all of them. But I have mostly enjoyed the time spent with my family."

"Do you need them that much? How can you feel dependent on their approval after spending time independently? A tour of duty is two years long, is it not?"

I nodded. "Habit, I suppose," I answered. "And you are very good at what my future brother-in-law refers to as
the grilling
."

"He trained me," Jame said. "I am but his humble apprentice."

I placed my hands on the table. "Now it is my turn to question you, sir."

He glanced around. "We're getting annoyed looks from people who want our table. Shall I fetch seconds? And then you can grill me."

"I would like seconds very much."

He squeezed off toward the ordering counter. I looked around while I waited for him, not that there was much to see but people hunched over plates of hot food. I did find myself eavesdropping on the conversation of a nearby group - how could one not overhear conversations in such close quarters? There were six people, stevedores by the look of them, four seated, two standing. I did not like what I heard. In fact, the spot between my shoulder blades began to ache, as though my body anticipated being stabbed in the back.

These were not happy men. The gist of the conversation was anger against foreigners and returning sailors and marines bringing plague back into Ang. Why didn't the foreigners go back to their own islands? And weren't most sailors and marines foreigners? Weren't they going to lose their jobs to these foreign veterans if they piled into Loudon while the truce held or peace was declared? Something ought to be done to keep 'em out. Weren't fights breaking out between sailors and clerics who were preaching against them? Maybe them Gracers were right about a few things.

I resisted standing up and confronting the men. I wanted to remind them that it was the sailors and marines who kept the war far from Loudon. What was a foreigner
anyway? Wasn't every island in the Empire legally equal to every other island, even though Ang was the largest and Ang culture was dominant? I wanted to remind them that the Red Fever was not so dangerous as even a generation ago - a cure would be found, and soon. Weren't they vaccinated? Was there any serious risk to anyone who was? Wouldn't the fresh trade from peace increase the need for employment? Why were they letting the Committees of Grace manipulate them?

Why were the Committees of Grace manipulating them? But that wasn't the question for asking these men.

I stood and faced the stevedores, but I did not say any of what I was thinking. I did not have to, because Jame came up with his hands full of fish rolls. He said a few quiet words to the tense men as he passed between them.

When he reached me, he said, "It is too warm in here. Let's take these outside."

I was grateful to go.

We made our way through the press and crossed to the canal side across the brick street. It was easy enough to find a crate to take seats on. We ate our fat fish, then he put his arm around my waist. I leaned against him. Hot evening or not, the close warmth we shared was most welcome.

"My turn," I reminded him. "Where did you go to school? Avan or Cambre?"

"My scholarship was to Justice College, Cambre."

I sighed. "Well, I won't hold that against you, though my loyalty is with Avan. But of course, I went to Avan, as I was born there. You are native to Loudon?"

"Born not far from here. Live not far from here, too. This is my home and I work to protect it. You are one of the ones whose protective circle is as wide as the Empire, I think."

One of the tenets of Meritocracy is that each person has a duty to care for and encourage those within the circle of their influence. Some circles are wider than others.

"I do not know if there's enough of me to spread around the Empire," I told Jame. "But I do crave a wider life. I thought I would get enough of the urge to travel with two years at sea, but I think I have the travel itch."

"Not me."

There was no mistaking the hint of warning that whatever might turn up between us, his way and mine would diverge. I agreed, but here and now, I liked Jame Field very much.

"You will do good work in the place you have chosen," I told him. "I pray I will do so in mine."

"I hope so." He glanced up. "Look."

Green Moon was a huge sliver in the night sky. Gray Moon at half. Red Moon was but a distant dot. The lights of Loudon did not block out the darkness. There were more stars visible then during other parts of the month. Midsummer was fast approaching. With it came the summer meteor showers.

Although, with there being far more water in the world than land, most of the meteorites that did fall on the world went into the sea. The iron-based skyfalls were an important source for making steel.

"They want us to take the fish and leave them the crustaceans, for one thing," I said. "That's the first thing that ever got worked out between our species and theirs, way back when my family still fished the waters off White Cliff Point."

"That makes sense as a treaty. But why read our minds? They certainly can't understand what we land-based creatures are like by looking into our alien heads."

I recalled Mr. Waterman's ability to occasionally understand some bit of octopi thought. I recalled my own dreams after being read by an octopus. "Read," I said, with sudden realization. "That's what I think they're doing. They're reading us - the way we read novels." I laughed. "Well, I will be dipped and fried! - I have been read by an octopus! I hope I was a good book," I added.

"I am sure you were," Jame said. "Though I am not quite sure what you are talking about. There's one!"

I followed his pointing finger to the arc of falling fire over our heads. "First fall!" I shouted as it sizzled out in the sky.

Chapter Thirty-One

My lover was asleep

My lover.

I breathed in his scent, and smiled, and marveled at my lover. Jame was a solid, warm, softly breathing presence beside me, his naked skin against mine. I lay on my back, with one of his arms over my stomach. His head was on my shoulder. The tang of summer sweat and sex lingered on our skins and in the air. My thighs and insides ached from the newness of the act, but there was also a pleasant, throbbing pulse between my legs - tactile memory and renewal of desire. We had joked as we discovered each other about the doctor being given an anatomy lesson.

He was a careful, considerate lover, a teacher and a friend.

"I like you, Jame Field," I whispered into the dark room. His thumb brushed along my waistline in reply. The touch sent shivers through me.

A curtain fluttered at the open window. I glanced outside. The first meteor shower was mostly over; only the occasional spark and sputter of late-arriving fireballs now. Sunrise was likely not that far off. What a long, eventful day this had been.

What a long, eventful day the dawning would bring.

I squeezed my eyes shut on the burning tears. Despite the pleasure and comfort brought to me by Jame Field, Dane Copper was still on my mind. In my heart. Under my skin. Two years of hero worship had not--