Memories (6 page)

 A worried frown spread over Dani's face. "I thought you and Michael split up."

 "Oh, we have, but we're still good friends. Actually, I think we were better as friends than as a couple anyway." Cathy's eyes sparkled as she continued. "As a matter of fact, I've been seeing one of the men in the Accounting Department at Regal back home." She laughed again. "Imagine me, with an accountant! But we have a great time together."

 Dani couldn't help but laugh along with her and the two settled in to catch up with each other's lives since they'd last talked. Between the warm summer air cooled by the salty ocean breeze and Cathy's company, Dani began to relax and enjoy herself.

 Vanessa's husband Matthew came along while the two women were visiting and introduced himself to Dani. He seemed very pleasant and easy-going and Dani liked him right away. He also liked to joke about his position at Regal. "I'm only the head of the Advertising Department," he told her with a twinkle in his brown eyes. "So I work for the 'big boss' like everyone else."

 "The big boss?" Dani questioned, assuming he meant his father-in-law.

 "Vanessa, of course," he said. "And what a tyrant she can be!"

 Dani laughed at the picture of Vanessa as a difficult boss and the other two joined in with her laughter.

 The time passed swiftly and soon Matthew excused himself to make the rounds. Cathy also needed to go and check on the preparations in the kitchen. Dani followed her toward the kitchen and asked where the nearest bathroom was where she could freshen up.

 "Down the hall by the staircase, first door on the left," Cathy instructed her.

 Dani followed her directions down the oak paneled hallway and opened the first door she came to on the left. As she entered the room, she realized she had not found the bathroom but an office instead, and began backing out when something caught her eye, drawing her further inside.

 The room was paneled in oak like the hallway and finished in the same hunter green as the conference room at Regal's and over the gleaming oak desk hung a full length portrait of Vanessa. She wore a velvet, emerald green off-the-shoulder gown, which made her eyes of the same color shine brilliantly. Her mane of auburn hair tumbled over her bare shoulders. The intensity of the portrait's colors were so stunning and lifelike that Dani could only stare, mesmerized. It was obvious it had been done recently because it looked exactly as she looked now.

 Taking her eyes away from the portrait, Dani slowly assessed the room around her. The desk, under the portrait, was strewn with papers as though someone had recently been working there. The wall to the left was floor-to-ceiling bookcases, filled completely, and to the right were heavy drapes drawn closed against the sunshine. On the table behind the desk sat several smaller photographs of Vanessa as a child, her wedding day, and another of a baby girl who Dani guessed to be Michelle. In another glass-encased frame were military metals, a Purple Heart and various lapel pins. Upon seeing these, Dani realized that this was Miguel's room, his home office.

 She turned to leave, fearing she might run into him, when once again something caught her eye. The closet door to the right of the desk was slightly ajar, revealing a poster hanging on it. She stepped up and opened the door wider, seeing what she had suspected was there. On the poster-sized picture stood a very young Miguel in camouflage clothing, flanked on both sides by two Army buddies. All three men were holding their weapons in front of them with the dense Vietnam jungle in the background.

 Dani remembered the poster from Miguel's small apartment, then too hanging on the inside of a closet door. The photo had been taken by a fellow soldier the last day of his tour before he was shipped home. One week later, Billy, one of the men standing beside Miguel, had been killed. The other man became missing in action several weeks later. When Miguel returned home to the states, the man who had taken the picture sent him this poster-sized version of it.

 Dani's heart ached as she remembered the Miguel from the past. How his eyes would mist as he spoke of Billy's death in Vietnam. The nightmares that he awoke from screaming. The pain of almost losing his leg when he'd stepped on a land mine. Those things, along with his tenderness toward Vanessa, were what had drawn Dani to Miguel. He'd been so human, so warm and caring.

 Lost in time, unaware of all around her, Dani's hand instinctively reached up to touch the photograph of the man she had once loved so dearly.

 "Some things are hard to let go of." A deep voice brought Dani out of her trance with a start. She knew before looking who was in the room with her. Turning, she faced Miguel standing only inches behind her.

 Startled and embarrassed to be found in his private room, Dani said the first words that came to her. "I didn't mean to intrude. I was looking for the bathroom and accidentally came in here." Dani hesitated a moment. "When I saw Vanessa's portrait, I couldn't help but come in for a closer look."

 Michael only smiled at her and then turned toward the portrait. "It's beautiful, isn't it? I had it done right before Vanessa married. I guess I wanted to capture her youth and innocence forever."

 Dani studied Miguel as he stood admiring the portrait. Dressed casually in jeans and a red polo shirt, he looked much like the Miguel she had met years ago. His face had that tender look, the one he always wore when speaking of his daughter and Dani couldn't help but soften towards him. He glanced over at her and she was once again embarrassed to be caught staring at him. Quickly, she changed the subject by turning back to the poster.

 "I see you still have this." He was so near, she caught the scent of his cologne. She forced herself from basking in it.

 "Yes," he answered quietly. "I've thought about putting it away from time to time, but I never have the heart to."

 "It's a part of your past," she told him, still staring at the poster, not trusting herself to look into his eyes. "An important part. I don't think anyone expects you to give it up entirely." She wanted to ask him if he still had nightmares and if his leg still ached at times, but then she reminded herself that it wasn't her business anymore. She wasn't suppose to care, she reminded herself harshly.

 "You always did understand about that part of my life," he said tenderly. "More than anyone I've ever known."

 Dani turned and faced him. He was too close. His eyes showed the tenderness that his voice conveyed. She walked to the side of the room in front of the draperies to escape his nearness. How dare he make me care about him again, even for a moment, she thought angrily to herself. He still had the power with only a look to reach her soul.

 Tartly she said, "Obviously I didn't know as much as I'd thought." She spread her arms wide. "All this comes as quite a surprise."

 Michael walked over to the drapes, standing near her again. He pushed aside one heavy drape and the room filled with sunshine. The view of the beach and the ocean beyond was spectacular.

 "I tried running away from 'all this'," he told her. "My grandfather started the business when he came over from Portugal and my father continued in his footsteps. I was being groomed to take over when I went out to Berkeley for college. But once I'd escaped to California, and away from the family, I didn't want to come back." He sighed and Dani looked at his profile as his eyes searched the ocean beyond.

 "So you left it all behind?"

 "For a few years. I married Diane while in college and we had Vanessa right away. Two years into college I was drafted for Vietnam, which really pissed my father off. He wanted to try and get me out of serving, but I insisted on going. When I came back and Diane left me, I still couldn't bear coming back here. So I stayed in California all those years and, well, you know the rest."

 But Dani didn't know the rest. She had only been a part of his life for a few months. And although she had thought then that she knew him well, she now realized that she hadn't really known him at all.

 "But you are back here now," she told him.

 "I had to grow up finally," was all he said. Michael stared at Dani as if memorizing her every feature. "I'm happy you're here," he told her.

 The room became too close for Dani and she suddenly walked past him to the door. "I should get back to the party," she said, although she knew it was a feeble excuse. After all, no one was going to miss her.

 "Have you met Michelle yet?" Michael asked, not wanting to lose her attention. He seemed to have broken through her icy wall and was enjoying her company.

 Dani stopped reluctantly and turned to face him again. "No, she was napping earlier. Vanessa said she'd bring her down later."

 "Let's see if she's awake. I love showing her off." Before Dani could say anything, Michael grabbed her hand and led her out the door and across the hall and up the back stairway.

 "You really don't have to do this," she protested. But her words fell on deaf ears as he led her from the stairs down the hallway that led to the family wing. Everything here was done in light colors, a complete contrast to the rooms downstairs. The walls were waist-high cream wainscoting and the top half of the walls had cream wallpaper with delicate peach, rose and green flowers. The sculptured carpet was a mixture of cream and tan. At intervals there were small oak tables holding flower vases, figurines or baskets of dried flowers.

 Turning a corner, they practically ran into an elderly woman carrying a little girl in her arms. From the red, curly hair and emerald green eyes Dani knew instantly that this was Vanessa's daughter.

 "Oh, Mr. DeCara," the older woman said, startled by his sudden appearance. "I was just bringing Michelle down to her mother."

 "That's fine, Mrs. Carols. I'll be happy to take her." At that, the woman handed Michelle to Michael and turned back down the hall.

 Dani studied the child in Miguel's arms for a moment, warmed by her resemblance to Vanessa. Miguel's eyes beamed with pride.

 "Michelle," he said, in mock introduction. "This is Miss Westerly. Miss Westerly, I'd like you to meet my granddaughter, Michelle."

 Playing along, Dani reached out her hand to touch Michelle's petite one. "Happy to meet you, Miss Chandler," she said. Michelle only cocked her head and giggled in reply.

 "She's beautiful," Dani told Michael, who only nodded his agreement.

 "And shy, too, as you can see. She takes after her grandfather," he teased.

 Dani rolled her eyes at him and looked once again at the lovely little girl. Seeing Miguel there, holding his granddaughter, the love so obvious in his eyes, reminded her of his warmth with Vanessa and how much that had once touched her heart. It brought back the side of him she had loved so much. The side of him she had forgotten in the years she told herself she hated him.

 For a moment, it seemed they were transported back in time. Back to the Miguel and Dani they had once been. By sharing this special moment with him, Dani almost forgot she had ever hated him, or why.

 "Doesn't she make you wish you had a little girl of your own?" Michael asked.

 It was an innocent question, but it broke the mood Dani was feeling. She forgot the warm feelings she had experienced only seconds before and the bitterness of the past returned. Suddenly, she was seeing Michelle in a new light. This should have been their child they were admiring, their little girl they were fussing over. But that didn't happen. It was an experience she had been cheated out of. All the anger of the past welled up inside Dani and she knew she had to get away from Miguel.

 Michael instantly saw the change in Dani's expression. "What's the matter?" he asked, confusion creasing his brow.

 "I have to go," was all she said, turning and running down the hall the way they had come. With Michelle in his arms, Michael was unable to pursue her. All he could do was watch her disappear around the corner and wonder why.

Chapter Seven

 Once downstairs, it took Dani a full half-hour to locate Traycee in order to tell her she wanted to leave. By then she had regained some composure, although she was still shaken on the inside. She had to get away from this house and Miguel as quickly as possible. She had known it was a mistake to come here in the first place and was angry at herself for letting her guard down and giving in to coming. She'd spent years forcing the painful memories of Miguel from her mind, now only to have him reopen those wounds by appearing in her life again. She was confused by the feelings he had revived in her and angry he had brought them to the surface. She just had to get away.

 She found Traycee sitting on the beach with the advertising executive she'd met in the limousine. Traycee was disappointed to hear that Dani wanted to leave so soon.

 "Don't you want to stay for the fireworks?"

 "No, Traycee, I really want to go back now."

 Cathy had spotted Dani and approached the group. She saw the strain in Dani's face. "Is everything okay here?" she asked her friend with concern.

 "I was just telling Traycee I'd like to leave now," Dani told her long-time friend. Her voice sounded calm but the pain in her eyes told a different story. Trying to control her emotions, Dani turned to Traycee. "I don't want to spoil your fun, but I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving you here to take that long train ride back alone."