Melted & Shattered (4 page)

“
Fuckin' A, man. I’m not sure if you’re twisted, or just one lucky bastard.”

Aaron acted insulted. “I have a gift, my dear Elle. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t share that gift with the world? It would be wrong to only share my skills with one man. I need to spread the wealth.” He punctuated this by sweeping his arm around in front of him, like he was presenting himself to the world, which I guess he was, more or less.

“You’re crazy, and I love you. Thank you for coming over. Larry’s my boy and all, but we can’t talk sex, and he’s no where near as funny as you.”

“Aw, I’m touched. But
José has come by. You said he was going to drive you to the restaurant to pick up the food and then to this center you volunteer at?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that has to be entertaining.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Aaron laughed at me. “Come on, chica. You might have a hole stitched up on your side, but the hole between your legs ain’t stitched up.”

“Ew, Aaron. I’m not even sure what to say to that.” I held my hand over my crouch. “Ouch, mother fucker!”

“Come on. José is hot and you know it. You may not be able to now, but you could tap that when you’re healed.”

“Yes, Aaron,
José is hot. I’m not blind, but you know I don’t fuck with the kitchen guys, and José is really cool. I like having him as a friend. We don’t have the history me and Larry do, but I’ve enjoyed his company.”

“So...” Aaron acted like he was truly perplexed by the fact that I like
d José and wasn’t going to fuck him.

“Not gonna happen. Although,” I
trailed off.

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, leaning forward to hear whatever juicy information I was about to spill. Sorry, but I was about to give him a dose of his own medicine.

“I was thinking about him the other night.”

“Yes, keep going.” Oh, Aaron was eating this up.

“I was picturing him naked, strolling though the kitchen, walking like he was on the runway or something, but the naked runway. I was doing my best but...”

“Come on, keep going,” Aaron w
hined.

“I just couldn’t seem to hold the vibrator
on my clit without shooting pains comin’ outta my side.”

“Oh, what the fuck
? I don’t need to hear about your masturbation attempts!”

I laughed at him. “Payback
’s a bitch, ain’t it?”

“Hooker, you better be glad it’s you, or else I’d be outta here.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You know you want one more pill.”

“Fuck you,” Aaron said reaching for the pill bottle.

He hung out with me until Chris arrived later that night. We watched some True Blood and everyone passed out while Sookie got it on with Eric, or Bill. I couldn’t keep track, though I preferred Eric. I was hoping maybe Eric might like to make an appearance in my dreams. No such luck, though, as they continued to be scattered due to crummy sleep, or nightmares which I'd been keeping to myself.

******

I called Larry and told him to make a big batch of chicken alfredo pasta the following Wednesday, and that Aaron gave the OK for it. I couldn’t cook, but I was going to save the teens from the pizza Genesis told me they’d been eating every day. I called to let her know I’d be stopping by, and that I was going to visit Fernie the following day. I asked her to tell Penny not to order pizza, because I was coming with a surprise.

José
picked me up in a beat up Honda. “This isn’t your usual ride. Don’t you drive some kind of SUV?”

“Yeah, but I thought this would be easier for you to get into. It’s my roommate’s.”

“Oh, well thanks.” It was probably easier to get into than the monster SUV I’d seen him drive.

Aaron came out to the car when we pulled up behind the restaurant
. José popped the trunk, and they both nestled the large pan of alfredo into the vehicle. Once they were done and José was back in the driver’s seat, Aaron leaned into the ledge of my open window.

“We still on for movies and pills Friday night?” he asked.

“Yep. Don’t got nothin’ else to do.”

“You gonna come back to work anytime soon? I’m sorta dyin’ in there without you.”

I’d heard the stories. It’s not like the kitchen couldn’t function without me, but Larry told me the general stress level of everyone was jacked up a few notches. I was sad it was so tense in the kitchen, but it made me feel good to know they missed me and my skills.

“You know I’m not cleared to work for another few wee
ks.” I hadn’t told Aaron about J paying my medical bills, or the fact that I didn’t have to work if I didn’t want to because he’d also filled my bank account with more money than I’d ever had. J set me up with enough cash that I could easily supplement with a little drug dealing to pay for whatever I needed. Chris was the only one who knew about the money, and she only knew that he’d paid the medical bills. I hadn’t told her about the extra money I found in bank account when I checked it online. Plus, I knew I’d go back to work eventually. I couldn’t just sit around, I missed my guys too much. And I won’t lie; I missed being the queen bee.

“I know, but those boys in there are lost without you. Take your time though. Get better, chica. I’ll s
ee you Friday when I get off work.”

“Bet.”

He stood outside the back of the restaurant hitting the pipe and waving as we drove away.

“Gotta say, he’s the coolest gay guy I’ve ever met.”

I turned to José and his out of the blue statement. “How many gay men have you met?”

“One.”

“So you were running on stereotypes.”

José
stopped and thought for a second. “Yeah, I guess I was.”

“You know, people could be making the same stereotypes about you.”

José balked. “That I’m a homo?”

I smacked him in the arm. “You don’t get to call him a homo any
more than he gets to call you a spic.” I called Aaron a homo all the time, but we were BFFs. It was different.

“Hey now. Don’t be throwin’ out words you know nothing about.”

I laughed at José. “You just proved my point.”

I stared out the window and let him stew on that for a minute. It was so easy for folks to look at som
eone and think they knew them, or at least knew what all the stereotypes were about said person. I didn’t see people like that. That’s why my Anthropology classes were so interesting, people are somehow all very different, yet all quite similar. We all want and need the same things, the basics being food, shelter, water, oxygen, along with the not so basics of love, acceptance, friendship, and nurturing. It’s just how we went about obtaining these things that was different about us.

“Sorry, Elle.” That was all the apology I was going to get out of
José, and that was just fine with me. I’m pretty sure he learned what I was trying to teach. “So you want me to come inside with you?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that. I’m kinda nervous to go up in there. Your presence is going to stir up the teens and raise questions, but I’m not sure if those questions or the ones about what happened to me will be worse.”

“Uh, should I be offended, Elle?” José laughed. I realized suddenly what I said sounded kinda bitchy.

“Sorry. No, don’t be offended. I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t sweat it. I was just messing with you. I didn’t think you got nervous.”

I
held my hands up and said in an incredibly pitiful voice, “Surprise.”

“Someone’s gotta carry the food.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re coming in, but you gotta be my shield, not my sword.”

“Elle, what does that even mean?”

I wrung my hands. “I’m not really sure. Just have my fucking back, OK?”

“Chica, it’s a youth center, not a war zone.”

I didn’t answer. I was mentally preparing myself for—something, not sure what, but something. He got the food and we headed for the door of the Center. I held it for José to pass, and walked us down to the basement where the kitchen was located.

The teens were still in the program room, so I expected the kitchen to be empty. I walked in and was startled to find Genesis waiting there.

“Genesis. What are you doing? Why aren’t you in the program room with everyone else?”

She eyed
José up and down. Yeah, he was hot, but I didn’t get the feeling that's what was on her mind.

“Uh, do you think I can talk to you alone?” she asked me while looking at
José.

“Why don’t you ladies have a seat at the
tables? I’ll get the food ready.”

“You all good to set this up yourself?” 
I asked him.

“I’m insulted, Elle. It’s a kitchen. Trust me, I’ll find my way around.” He was right. He’d work it out just like I had.

“Yeah, OK. Sorry.” I lead Genesis out of the kitchen to the tables where we ate and played games during free time.

I carefully sat down as I was a still a little sore
. My side was healing nicely, but certain movements were more painful than others. Sitting down, oddly enough, was harder than standing up from a chair. Once I was settled, I waited for Genesis to tell me whatever she had to say.

I waited.

And waited some more.

And then a little bit longer.

OK, so I was going to have to start this off.

“You wanted to talk?” I asked her.

“Um, yeah. I did.”

Seconds ticked by like and I felt like we were
on Jeopardy and the Thinking Music should be playing

Genesis had
her forearms on top of the table, fingers entwined, and hands clenched together. She was sporting white knuckles. I reached my hand across the table, and rested it on hers. “It’s OK. You can tell me anything. Haven’t we been through enough for you to know that?”

She exhaled a sigh of relief. “I just wasn’t sure what you would think of me. You know, about the situation I got myself into. And you into.” She looked at the floor when she said those last words.

I squeezed her hands tighter. “Hey, didn’t I just say it was OK? Genesis, shit coulda gone down much worse. You or Fernie could’ve died. So I got shot, I’m alive aren’t I?”

“You aren’t mad I called you?”

“Is that what this is all about?” She nodded, and tears formed in her eyes. “Hey. I gave you my phone number for a reason. If I didn’t want you to use it, I wouldn’t have written it on your hand. I—I don’t know how it happened, but you guys have come to mean a lot to me. Genesis, I’d take a bullet for you just as quickly as I did Fernie. Come here.”

I brought
Genesis to sit on my right side, and pulled her into a half hug. “I’m not mad. Don’t for even a second think that. And I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled and wiped her nose on my shoulder.

“Uh, Genesis, did you just wipe snot on my shirt?”

She nodded, and dabbed at the tears in her eyes
with a napkin. She had a napkin?

“Girl, I’ll take a bullet for ya, but use the damn napkin for your snotty nose.”

That got me a laugh from her, which in turn brought a smile to my face.

“You’re going to see Fernie tomorrow?” I nodded. “Can you give him this letter?”

“Of course.” She pulled a letter out of her hoodie. It was in a sealed envelope, and I could tell from it’s thickness that there were quite a few pages in it. “I’ll make sure he gets it.” I put the sealed envelope in my purse. “I hear the others coming. Go clean your face up, and I’m gonna help José in the kitchen. OK?”

“How’d that go?”
José asked when I went to the kitchen to help him. He had everything set out. Plates, silverware, napkins, bowls, and the food ready to be served.

“I underestimated you.” He
just shot me his brilliant smile. “You didn’t listen in?” I asked in reference to my conversation with Genesis.

“Do I have a vagina?”

“I hope not.”

“Then no, I didn’t listen in on your conversation. I ain’t a nosey woman.”

“I accept that.” I was a nosey bitch, and I wouldn’t deny it.

I heard the kids pouring down the st
airs and into the dining area, making my heart speed up. Why was I so nervous? I felt like it was my first day all over again with the teens. As it was, I didn’t have to worry. I walked out of the kitchen and Marcos was the first to come up to me.

“Elle! You
're back. No more pizza!” He went to hug me, and I held my hand out. I gave him the one shoulder hug I’d given Genesis with my right side.

Angelica was next. “Elle! Oh my
God, I’m so glad you’re back. We missed you.”

One by one, they each came to say hello. I felt like a movie star for a hot minute. I didn’t realize they actually noticed my absence
. It was funny how validating a bunch of teens could be. I knew I was a good cook, and the best in my kitchen. I knew I was a good student, my grades reflected it. I also knew, despite what my mom said, I was a good person. Yet, hearing these teens tell me how they missed me—me, not just my cooking—was more validating than all those other things put together.