Meeting The Unpredictable (30 page)

“I don’t want to speak for Lennie, but I think it was everything that came afterward that she holds on to. She missed out on a lot of years of being a normal kid.” Mr. Jacobs’ face softens slightly. “I love your daughter, Mr. Jacobs, and I hope for Lennie’s sake and yours that you two can rebuild the bond you once had. But I’m telling you, even in the short time I’ve known your daughter, I’ve learned she doesn’t react well when she’s backed into a corner. She’s Lennie, take her or leave her, and I’m begging you to take her the way she is because she misses the relationship you two once shared.”

I don’t wait to see his reaction. Instead, I turn on my heel and walk out of the room.

***

“HOW ARE YOU FEELING?” I
walk up to the side of Lennie’s bed and kiss the palm of her hand.

“Better.” She gives me a small smile.

“I have to admit, I was expecting you to be a little happier. A huge weight has been lifted.”

Lennie’s eyes dart away from mine.

“Hey.” She quickly looks back at me. “Have you been told something I don’t know?”

“No.”

My chest instantly relaxes. “Good. You freaked me out there for a second.”

Lennie sighs and looks away again. “Who’s to say what’s really going on? All of my tests haven’t come back yet.”

“But you’re not showing any signs of leukemia.”

Lennie huffs and pulls her hand away. “That doesn’t mean I’m okay. They’re going to find something.”

“Lennie,” I softly say, waiting for her to look at me. “You’ve been waiting for years for the other shoe to drop, but maybe it’s not going to.” I squeeze her hand. “What happened to the free-spirited woman who knocked on my door? She didn’t care if she had one day or one year left. She was just living life to the fullest.”

“I was living in denial, Tyler. I pretended it didn’t matter what happened to me because no one would care either way, but I was just lying to myself. Now I’ve involved you in my mess.”

“Hey. I’m here because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” When our eyes lock, I can see the fear in hers. “We’ll be fine as long as we’re together.”

I have no idea if I’m getting through to her, but hopefully when she sees that I’m serious, she’ll finally let me past this last wall she appears to still have in place.

“KNOCK KNOCK,” DR. KNOTT SAYS
as he walks into my hospital room. “How are you feeling today, Lennie?”

“Good.” He nods his head and looks around at my mom, Jodi and Tyler. “I have the results of the test I ran. Would you rather talk in private?”

“Yes,” I quickly answer.

“Lennie,” both Tyler and Jodi say at the same time. I have no idea what this doctor plans to tell me, but I know I’m not about to have anyone tell me what I need to do, and that now includes Tyler.

“If you’ll excuse us,” Dr. Knott says, but I refuse to look at them.

Jodi sighs and follows my mom out of the room. Tyler, however, takes his time walking to the door. I know he’s waiting for me to tell him he can stay, but I’m not going to.

Once Tyler finally walks out the door, Dr. Knott shuts it and walks back over to my bed.

“Lennie, the news I have really isn’t bad, but it is personal, and I wasn’t sure who you wanted to share your situation with.”

“Okay,” I softly say, waiting for whatever he needs to tell me.

“I called Dr. Ross and spoke with him in addition to having your records faxed over. You went through your first round of chemo before you were eleven, therefore it shouldn’t be news to know that you have fertility issues.”

“Yes. I’m aware.”

“Lennie, I have no idea how much Dr. Ross stressed how important your yearly checkups are. They do a lot more than check your white cell count.”

I demanded to be the one in charge of my healthcare once I turned eighteen. I’ve even gone as far as threatening to sue Dr. Ross if he so much as breathes my name in my father’s direction, but that doesn’t mean I pay much if any attention when I’m at my appointments. I loathe being in his office, and I dread anything he has to say. The second I hear my cancer is still in remission, I’m gone.

“I don’t necessarily listen to everything he has to say.”

“Lennie, it’s important that you control your hormones. Your body didn’t get the chance to go through puberty before it was already attempting to go through menopause.”

“Just tell me what’s wrong.”

“Outside of your hormones, nothing that I can tell.”

“But I’ve been sick.”

“Of course you have. You’re only twenty-five and your body is attempting to go through menopause, and menopause at any age is hard on a woman, but for cancer survivors, the symptoms are usually much worse. Nausea, hot flashes, hormone drops. You can be fine one minute and feel like you’re ready to die the next.”

“What should I do?”

“You need to see a specialist. You need to have your hormone levels checked on a regular basis, but I’d be prepared for them to tell you that you might need a hysterectomy.”

I blow out a long breath. Being told you more than likely won’t be able to have kids feels completely different from being told you need a hysterectomy at twenty-five.

“The good news is, overall, it appears you’re healthy.”

“Are you sure? When did you run these test? What all did you test for?”

Dr. Knott smiles and pats my hand. “Lennie, I can’t promise you’ll live forever, but I can say without a doubt that in my opinion you have many wonderful years left. Take care of your body, keep up with your exams, but stop thinking you’re going to die at any minute.”

My eyes instantly water because what Dr. Knott said couldn’t have been truer.

“Thank you,” I mutter.

“I’m going to send everything over to Dr. Ross. He’s still expecting to see you at your appointment next week. I’m also going to refer you to a couple of endocrinologists in Dallas. With the right medications, you should be back on your feet and feeling great in just a matter of time.”

“Thanks. I really mean that.”

“I’m happy to help. If your pain is under control, then I’m going to sign off on your release. You’ll want to stay with someone for the next week. No heavy lifting, and I don’t want you on your feet for long periods of time.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

“Good. Should I inform your family that they can come back in?” I nod my head. I almost wish I had let them stay so I’m not forced to repeat everything Dr. Knott’s said, but I was expecting his news to be worse. Much worse.

***

JODI SLOWLY MAKES HER WAY
back into my room. Her lips are set in a hard line and her eyes look harsh. She’s pissed and I understand why.

“I’m fine,” I say, hoping to break the tension. “Well, not perfect, but I’m not sick.”

Jodi nods her head and makes her way to the chair next to my bed. “We already knew you weren’t sick, so why did you kick us out?”

I groan. “Jodi, I don’t remember what life was like before I got sick. I grew up being poked with a needle every time I turned around.” Jodi casts me a meaningful look. “All I ever wanted was someone to listen to me, the person who was actually going through the treatment. When I became a legal adult, I decided no one—including you—would ever have a say in my health again.”

“But—”

“No,” I cut her off. “If this doctor had told me I was going to die or have to undergo the shit I did when I was younger, then I would have picked death, and no matter what you say, you would have tried to talk me out of it.”

Jodi’s eye drift shut for a moment. When she opens them, she nods her head. “You’re right. You’re my baby sister. I don’t care how old you are, I’ll always want to look out for you.”

I reach out and tug on her hand. “Thank you. I couldn’t have had a better sister than you.”

A teasing smile plays on her face. “I know.” We both break out laughing.

“Where’s Tyler?”

“I don’t know. He was pretty upset that you wouldn’t let him stay with you.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I know, but he would have reacted the same way you would have.”

“You know Tyler is looking at this situation with a fresh set of eyes. Don’t lump him into the same boat as us until he gives you a reason to.”

Jodi is right. I need to give Tyler a break and stop punishing him for mistakes he didn’t make.

A nurse walks into the room.

“The doctor would like you to walk around some and test out your pain level before he releases you.”

“Great. I know just where I want to go.”

I SAW LENNIE WITHDRAW FROM
everyone in the room when the doctor came in. I was so fucking pissed that she kicked me out that my hands were trembling with anger.

There is nothing, and I do mean nothing, I wouldn’t do for her, but she continues to keep a wall firmly in place where I’m concerned.

I repeatedly told myself to go home, leave her alone, or at the very least give her some time to think about where if at all I fit into her life.

But I couldn’t. I’m not only in love, I’m addicted to Lennie Jacobs, and the idea of leaving this hospital without her causes my head to spin.

I drop down into a chair and rub my hands over my face in frustration when I hear a voice. I’m expecting it to be Jodi, therefore I’m completely caught off guard when I see Amber standing next to me.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Amber’s face falls. “I overheard your mom say you were here.”

I called my mother when I ran home earlier today. I didn’t go into details, but I told her Lennie was in the hospital. She generally acted concerned, but she also didn’t rush to the hospital to check on Lennie or me.

“And you figured I’d want you to come down here and see me?”

Amber takes a step closer. “I thought you could use a friend.”

My head jerks back. “A friend? Amber, we are not friends. We’re nothing.”

She flinches at my harsh tone. “We used to be. Long before we became a couple, we were friends.”

“We’ve been through this. I don’t want to be friends with someone who could hurt me the way you did.” I jump to my feet and start pacing around. “Amber, you didn’t just break up with me, you cheated on me then dumped me for my brother. You forced me to watch you move on. You forced me to watch you get married and have kids—kids that should have been mine. Do you have any idea how hard that has been?”

Tears pool in her eyes. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did,” I hiss. “And it’s over now. You mean nothing to me and we’re never going to be friends, so get that crazy idea out of your head.”

I can see someone out of the corner of my eye. I look over, not expecting to find Lennie. “Babe, what are you doing up?” Lennie forces a small smile before looking at Amber.

“Amber is here on the misguided notion that I needed a friend.”

“I’ll leave,” Amber quickly adds before racing out of the room.

I pull Lennie into my arms. “What are you doing up?” Lennie glances back the direction Amber left before finally answering me. “The doctor told me to walk around and judge my level of pain before I could be released.”

I run my knuckles down her cheek. “That’s great. I can’t wait to get you back home.”

“Home?” Her forehead scrunches.

“Yes, home,” I repeat.

“I was planning on returning to Jodi’s.”

I sag with relief. “Sounds like a perfect idea.”

I wrap my arm around her waist as we slowly walk back to her room.

I don’t know what the doctor told her earlier, but if he’s willing to release her today, then it can’t be that serious, and as much as I want to know what’s going on, I want to get her back home where my heart might finally relax.