Me and My Sisters (45 page)

My other sister is moving back to Dublin to set up her own legal department so she can spend more time with her little baby. She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. Becoming a mother has mellowed her and she’s a much more content person. Her career will always be incredibly important to her, but having a baby has forced her to stop and smell the roses.

Life has changed for all of us. I think we really grew up this year.

Anyway, that’s all for now except to tell you that something exciting might be coming my way. Something I hope you’ll be able to share with me. I’ll keep you posted when I know for sure … Sorry to be cryptic, but it’s not definite yet.

41

Louise

Moving back to Dublin had been so much easier than I imagined. Mum and Dad collected me from the airport. Dad carried my bags to the car, and Mum held Clara. They had a lovely lunch waiting for us when we got back to their house. Mum gave Clara her bottle and put her down for her nap. She then offered to look after her for the afternoon while I went to sort out my apartment and unpack my boxes.

Sophie and Julie came to help me. They brought wine and music, and we had fun doing it. I had only ever moved and unpacked alone before. They helped me make up the beds, put together Clara’s cot, hang up my pictures, then flattened all the boxes and left them outside my front door. Dad collected them and brought them to the dump for me. I barely had to lift a finger. It was fantastic.

That evening, when I went back to pick up Clara, Mum had fed her, bathed her and put her into a gorgeous new pair of pyjamas she’d bought for her. When I got home to the apartment and put her to bed, I discovered Sophie and Julie had packed my fridge and cupboards full of groceries and formula milk, nappies, wipes and all the other things I needed. I curled up on my couch with a glass of wine and smiled. It felt good to be back. I had made the right decision, I just knew it.

Work wasn’t quite as straightforward, however. Some of the partners at Price Jackson were very cool towards me. They had found out the salary I was on – which I discovered was second only to the managing partner’s – and they weren’t too pleased about the ‘blow-in’ from London being so highly paid.

I had to prove myself to them, but that was nothing new to me. I’d been proving myself all my life. I did what I’d always done: put my head down and worked incredibly hard. It took me six weeks to hire my team: two were internal appointments and two were from outside. They were bright, ambitious and keen to get ahead, but they knew who their boss was and they respected me. As the clients rolled in and the other partners realized I wasn’t some prima-donna with an over-inflated ego, they began to pay me a grudging respect until, after a couple of months, I became ‘one of the boys’. Interestingly, of the twelve senior partners at Price Jackson, five were women and three of them had children. It seemed as if more glass ceilings were being smashed in Dublin than in London.

As for Clara, she was thriving. Mum’s friend’s daughter had a fantastic nanny she no longer needed as she had given up work after her third child so I inherited the wonderful, capable, cheerful Suzie from Sydney. She was lovely with Clara and I trusted her completely. Sophie had left me a list of playgroups for them to go to, so Suzie took Clara to all the happy-clappy ones I’d have absolutely hated, and everyone was happy.

I worked from home every Friday, so I had a leisurely breakfast with Clara, then went into my home office (a desk in my bedroom), while Suzie took her off to a playgroup. At two o’clock, after Clara’s nap, Suzie left and I spent the afternoon with my little girl. Granted I spent half the time on the phone, but I was still with her physically, so it was a big improvement on my old job.

At weekends we went to Mum and Dad’s for family lunch on Sunday and Clara got to see all her cousins, uncles and aunts. I loved those days – long, leisurely and lively.

Moving home had been a fantastic decision. I felt safe, supported, loved and genuinely happy. Clara was getting tons of attention and love – every time we drove up to Mum and Dad’s house she’d squeal with joy and wave her arms.

Last Sunday at lunch, Gavin announced he had something to tell us.

‘This’d better be about a job,’ Dad muttered.

‘You know the way I’ve always been really into animals?’ Gavin asked.

‘No,’ we all answered.

‘I have,’ he replied.

‘No, you haven’t,’ Julie said.

He frowned. ‘I used to take Toby for walks when none of you would.’

‘Only because you could have a smoke while you were doing it,’ Julie retorted.

‘You were fifteen – tell me you weren’t smoking!’ Mum pleaded.

‘Thanks a lot, Julie,’ he drawled. ‘I actually loved that dog.’

‘Well, how come you forgot to feed him for two days when Mum and Dad went away and you were supposed to be looking after him?’ Sophie grinned.

‘I was busy in college. Anyway, I was really sad when he died.’

‘Were you?’ Mum asked. ‘You told me you were too busy playing football to say goodbye to him the day I had him put down.’

I roared laughing. ‘Yes, Gavin – if I remember correctly you said of Toby’s demise, “It’s no harm, he was banjaxed anyway.”’

‘I’m not good at showing my emotions, OK? Anyway, can I get to the bloody point without being interrupted, please?’ Gavin snapped.

‘Go on. I can’t wait to hear this.’ Jack grinned.

‘My money’s on a new tree-hugging expedition in the Amazon.’ Harry chuckled.

‘I’m betting on save the whales.’ Jack snorted.

‘Ssh – let him speak,’ Sophie scolded them.

Gavin carried on oblivious: ‘So, I’ve been offered an internship programme with the NWF.’

Everyone stared at him blankly.

He looked at me. ‘Come on, Louise, you’re in bloody Mensa, you must know them.’

I let him sweat for a minute and then piped up, ‘It’s the National Wildlife Federation. They’re very well regarded – and I’m impressed you got on their programme. It’s really competitive. Seriously, well done.’

‘Of course he got on. Sure he’s brilliant,’ Mum said, patting Gavin’s back.

‘What exactly does this mean and how much is it going to cost me?’ Dad was less enthusiastic.

‘Nothing, except my flight to Washington DC.’

‘America?’ Mum looked upset.

‘Are you telling me you’re going to get paid on this internship?’ Dad was suspicious: he was looking for the catch.

Gavin nodded. ‘Yes, Dad, you’re off the hook financially. It’s not exactly millions, but it’ll be enough to live on. Eighty people applied for the internship and I got it. They were very impressed with my on-the-ground campaigning.’

‘It looks like the tree-hugging paid off.’ Julie winked at him.

‘So is this it, then?’ Dad asked. ‘This is where you want your career to go?’

Gavin shrugged. ‘It’s a great opportunity. I’m not saying I’ll stay with the NWF long term, but I’ll see how it goes, see if it lights my fire.’

‘Oh, to be young and carefree and have choices,’ Sophie said.

‘Footloose and fancy free.’ Julie sighed.

‘Feckless and clueless,’ Dad muttered.

‘Well done, Gavin. You’ve done yourself proud,’ Mum said. ‘I’ll miss you, though. It’ll be lonely here without you.’

‘When do you go?’ I asked.

‘January the third.’

Mum looked relieved. ‘Oh, good, so you’ll be here for Christmas.’

‘It’ll do you the world of good to get out there and stand on your own two feet,’ Dad said.

‘Do your own laundry,’ I added.

‘Cook your own meals,’ Julie said.

‘Pay your own bills,’ Sophie noted.

‘Get away from you three witches.’ Gavin grinned.

I was pleased for him. Going to America, looking after his own finances and working with new and diverse people would be good for him. He was ready to leave home. He needed to cut the apron strings. Mum spoilt him and it was time for him to assert his independence and be his own man.

When things had settled down in work, I took Sophie and Julie out to a nice restaurant for an early Christmas celebration and to thank them for having been so great in helping me settle back home.

We all dressed up and, I must say, we were a fine-looking bunch. Sophie had put on weight and looked much better for it: her face had lost that pulled look now that she had stopped getting Botox. Julie had kept off the weight she’d lost and glowed with happiness and contentment. I was back running every day and felt fit and healthy. I was also much less stressed and I could see it in my face.

We ordered our food and sipped our wine.

‘It’s such a treat to get dressed up and go out after a long week at work,’ Sophie said.

Julie and I looked at each other and laughed.

‘What?’ Sophie asked.

‘You used to go out for dinner three or four nights a week,’ Julie reminded her.

Sophie looked surprised. ‘God, you’re right. I did and I never appreciated it. It was just the way my life was. Now I consider it a huge treat.’

‘Dinner in a fancy restaurant was always a big deal for me,’ Julie admitted, ‘but instead of spending an hour trying on clothes that didn’t fit me and feeling crap about myself, I threw this dress on and ran out the door. It feels great.’

‘And I left my angel baby without feeling guilty – I’ve spent all afternoon with her, which would never have happened in London. I was lucky if I got to kiss her goodnight on a Friday.’

‘Well, Lou, it looks like things have worked out well,’ Julie said. ‘Did you ever think this time last year that you’d be living back in Dublin, running your own department, madly in love with your baby and getting on so well with Mum?’

‘Not in my wildest dreams. I have to say, since I had Clara, Mum has been brilliant. We never argue any more – it’s like we have a completely different relationship.’

‘It’s because you’ve let her in,’ Sophie said.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’ve always been so independent and capable. Never needing any help. In fact, if any of us was in trouble we’d go to you for advice. There was no space for Mum to mother you. She had no role in your life. But then Clara came along and you let her in. It’s made her so happy – she loves being closer to you.’

‘I’d never thought about it like that.’

‘Did you ever think you’d be working and supporting a family?’ Julie asked Sophie.

‘Not in a million years.’ She laughed. ‘Me – working? This time last year I was out Christmas shopping, spending horrendous amounts on presents no one wanted. Buying clothes I didn’t need. Going to endless parties. This year it’ll be a quiet one at home with Jack and Jess, watching movies, eating home-made popcorn and being a family.’

‘Do you miss it? The high life?’ Julie wondered.

‘Occasionally I miss the buzz of going on a shopping spree, and I do miss the amazing holidays, but mostly no. And when I do buy myself something, it’s really special because I’ve saved up for it and worked hard for the money to buy it. So, no, I don’t miss it and I’m a much better mother. Even though I’m working, the time I spend with Jess now is quality time. Instead of dropping her off at endless activities, I’m properly focused on her when we’re together. And I’m giving her a realistic view of life and instilling good values into her sweet little head, not filling it with rubbish about diamonds and money. I also like being good at something, having my own life – Sophie Devlin, head booker at Beauty Spot. It’s nice. It makes me feel important in my own little way.’

‘How are you and Jack getting on?’ I asked.

She lifted her nail to chew it, but stopped and put her hand back down. ‘In a way it’s been good that he’s working in London. When he comes home on Thursday night I’m glad to see him. I’ve missed him. It’s almost as if we’re dating again. It’s by no means perfect and we have a long way to go. Our life has been completely pared back and it’s just us. No bells and whistles, no five-star hotels or glitzy balls, just him and me in our apartment. I’m still nervous about him losing his job again, but I’m not angry any more. What happened is in the past. It’s over. We are where we are and, overall, it’s turned out to be a good thing.’

‘What about you, Julie?’ I asked.

‘I made it.’ She grinned. ‘I made it to the triplets going to school. It was the longest marathon in the history of the world, but I did it and I didn’t kill them or harm them. I got them to school and now Tom goes to play-school two mornings a week and life is suddenly clear again. The fug I’ve been in for so long, where I couldn’t see past piles of laundry, has gone. I’m finding myself again. The old Julie is coming back and it feels really great. And you know what? I was getting into a rut of feeling sorry for myself – poor me, with four kids and no help, poor me, with no spare cash, poor me, I can’t lose weight. And then the thing with Harry happened and it jolted me right out of my self-pity party and made me see how lucky I am. How blessed I am. How I have everything I’ve ever wished for and didn’t know it. I’m more appreciative of everything now and I’ve even inherited a long-distance daughter. Actually, guys, I have a bit of exciting news.’

‘Jesus, you’re not pregnant again?’ I asked.

‘Louise,’ she said, ‘if I was pregnant again, I’d stick this fork in my eye. My news is that a while ago I started posting comments, an online stream-of-consciousness really, on this mums’ website and I got a big reaction to what I was saying. Anyway, the
Evening Herald
picked up on it and they want me to write a weekly column about motherhood and marriage – just rant about life, really.’

My sisters’ mouths dropped open and they looked at me with admiration.

‘My God, that’s fantastic.’ Sophie hugged her.

‘Well done, Julie.’ I kissed her.

‘Stop, you’ll make me cry. It’s not that big a deal and the money is crap, but it’s something for me. My own little thing.’

‘It
is
a big deal,’ I said. ‘You’ve devoted your life to those kids and it’s great that you now have this outlet for yourself – and, of course, a means to make a bit of extra cash.’

‘We can give you plenty of material,’ Sophie said.

‘You’d never be stuck for content with this family.’ I laughed.

‘It’s pretty amazing how this year has changed us, though, isn’t it?’ Julie said. ‘Even Gavin’s grown up, although I’m not sure how long the wildlife career will last.’

‘Remember how he flushed Goldie down the loo and overfed Skipper so we found him floating and bloated at the top of the fish bowl?’ Sophie giggled.

‘I give him six months, tops,’ Julie said.

‘I give him five,’ I said. ‘Unless Mum moves out to Washington and does his laundry for him.’

‘Are we being a bit harsh? Were we so mature at twenty-four?’ Sophie asked.

‘Yes, we were,’ I reminded her. ‘We were all working and living in our own apartments.’