MC: Callahan (20 page)

“Yeah, Chin, but he wants to change it. That’s what the man called him. He was sold to the pussy. Parents died in Hong Kong. He lived on the streets. He was picked up and shipped here, then sold. He has no papers, nothing identifying him.” His voice is monotone. He does that when he’s upset. He doesn’t let his voice show how much he’s affected.

“Fuck, what are you going to do with him?”

He runs his hand through his hair. “Fuck if I know. Kate doesn’t want him in care, but they would get him legal documentation. I need to talk to Danny.”

He wants to keep him. “You know he’ll do what Kate wants. He’s never denied her anything,” I say, smiling.

“This is different, though. Both of them will need counseling to deal with what they’ve lived through. It will be like Tess all over again. Chin isn’t in the country legally and we can’t point a finger at the pussy. The Brothers took care of what was left of him.”

I think about that. “I’ll take them to therapy. It may be good for me too.” I look away from him. He’s the only one who knows what happened when I was a kid. It’s why I didn’t have to deal with the women when we were running flesh. “They won’t do better than staying right where they are and you know it. Geek should be able to come up with paper for him. You wouldn’t even have to adopt him.”

“Brother, I haven’t been thinking. Shit. Is all this hitting you hard? Fuck, of course it is. That’s why you beat the fuck out of the pussy. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. If you need time to handle all this, you take what you need. I’ll set the therapist up for all of you.” Hands running through his hair, he’s aggravated that he missed something.

“I’m okay, Ben. I had a few rough nights, but I got through them. I’ll take the therapy with the boys. It can’t hurt.”

“I’ll set it up, Brother.” The old ladies come out, ending our conversation and I’m relieved. I don’t want to drag it all out again. Associate Dave and Driscoll are here with their old ladies and kids. When I head in with Danny to get some food grilling, we pass the rest of the compound people and babies. Rich hangs back with us to let me know about the pussy. I don’t tell him I already know. I let him finish and thank him.

Kate, Nancy, and Pres come in and straight to us. “I already know what you’re going to say and it’s a yes from both of us,” Danny says with a smile.

“I’ll get it taken care of,” Pres says and turns around, going back in the water. Danny cracks up.

Kate stands in front of him and kisses him; Nancy does the same to me. “Thank you, big Tiny.”

“Uncle Tiny, we’ll be done afore the fire?” Niko says. Why he picked Niko is beyond me. Of all the names in the world he picked a camera. I have to admit it kind of fits his Asian look.

“Yeah, Niko, we’ll meet everyone at the Diner, then we’ll go to the beach.”

He relaxes and smiles at Diego, signing something I miss. They laugh, making me smile. It’s been a hell of a month; we had to get CJ to change her contract with DSS so we don’t get any more kids. Seven is enough for me. Nancy wasn’t happy, but I’m not adopting every fuckin’ kid in the world. Pres and Danny can have the rest of them. Tess says we are good with what we have, so Nancy let it go. Niko talks pretty good now. Diego still just makes noise, but he signs pretty close to perfect. The boys work with him all the time and I still do our fifteen minute talks. He’s smart and picked it up fast. Aleena recommended a specialist. She was right; he has damage in his throat. For right now we’re leaving him alone. He needs surgery to fix it but it’s not guaranteed to work.

We get to therapy and the boys go in one office while I go in the other. After fifty minutes I come out feeling good. He thinks I need to come back when I feel the need. Doing the therapy three times a week worked well for me. At first I wasn’t happy with it. I’d leave pissed at the whole fuckin’ world. That only lasted two weeks, then it was a cake walk. I’m surprised my Brothers put up with my shit without throwing tampons at me. Love the fuckin’ Brotherhood. I sit and wait for the Little Brothers.

The boys’ therapist comes out to talk to me; they’re both learning that what happened to them was wrong; no one should have touched them that way. Last week they talked to me about it being bad. I explained it was the grownups that were bad not them. They both looked relieved. I called the therapist and told her about it so she could go through it with them. Today she says they got it. They drew pictures of the bad men, then tore them up, throwing the bad away.

I smile all the way to the Diner. We’re early, so Sam takes them in the back with his little girl. They color new pictures for the wall by the register. I laugh when Diego writes ‘good man’ on his picture. He even gave Sam ink and piercings. Lana thinks it’s funny and hangs it in the center. He writes like a three-year-old, but he’s getting it.

Everyone shows and we eat, making it to the beach before it gets dark. The kids are excited and running wild. The old ladies have them, so the Brothers sit in the patio. I tell them about the boys’ bad men pictures, then Sam’s picture, making them laugh. “It’s good you caught that, Brother. It could have taken the therapist forever to find that guilt,” Cloud says. I nod, not knowing what to say. I lived it but don’t want my Brothers to know.

“I have Diego’s papers coming tomorrow. You’ll have another Callahan on your hands.” I could do another. I throw him chin. “Does anyone know what the Little Brothers are up to?” he asks. I control my face while everyone looks around, not saying anything. I almost laugh when VP looks at me innocently. “The older boys have been secretive. It makes me nervous,” Pres says and I know he’s not buying our innocent act.

“They have girls they meet. Security is with them, but they can’t talk about it,” Bob says helpfully. Pres nods but doesn’t question it anymore. We’ve all taken turns following them on dates; they always go different ways, always giving cover when we need it.

Pres goes out with Patches and Cloud. VP looks at me. “Tonight, you got little Ben. I got Ricky.” I nod.

“You both went out last time,” Bob says like he’s being cheated.

VP’s head whips around to look at him. “Fuckin’ Danny left a mess. We don’t have clean up followin’ us.”

“Guy was with a kid,” Danny says low.

“The news picked it up, though,” I tell him. It was all over the fuckin’ place. That’s all we need.

Rich chuckles. “I got video on this one, though. We’ll work it without the surprises.”

Danny is pissed. “You want to go, go, I’ll stay and cover,” I tell him and look at VP.

He rolls his eyes. “Fuckin’ pains in my ass. Fine. No fuckin’ mess!”

Danny smiles. “You got it, VP.”

Rich laughs. “You’re enjoying this too much,” I tell him.

He looks surprised. “My dad’s funny. I wasn’t laughing about the Op. Getting these guys away from kids and keeping them away is a fuckin’ service no one will thank us for, but they’ll be thankful their kid stayed safe. Ops aren’t fun or funny to me. That’s why I can laugh at every other fuckin’ thing in my life.”

“You’re right, Brother. I meant no disrespect. This hits too close for me to laugh about.”

Danny is watching me. VP stands. “Need to get out there and show with everyone.” Bob and Rich follow him. Danny puts his hand on my arm, holding me in place, but he’s looking out at the water.

“You know I was in care. You know I was in juvie, but I never told you why. I had a new big brother that thought I was his new toy. I stole a steak knife and stabbed him when he came in my room one night. I was put in juvie for two fuckin’ years because I wouldn’t be a fuckin’ toy. Nothing about this is just about those boys. Couple of years ago I told Rich. He knows what happened and he’s in it for me. VP is in it for you. Bob is in it for the boys. Not one of us is alone here.” He looks at me then looks away. “I don’t expect you to say anything; I’d prefer if you didn’t. I just need you to know why we all agreed to this when little Ben brought it to us.”

Fuck. Never would I have guessed this. “Thanks, Brother.”

I have to get out of here. I stand and walk out, not knowing if it’s the right thing to do, but I need to get away from him. VP is in it for me. Did Pres tell him? Fuck. I know he wouldn’t say anything, but fuck. I sit at the table, watching the kids and women. The Brothers started the fire and are standing watching it, but I’m watching the boys. Rich is right. They’re safer because of what we’re doing. I want to shut down every fuckin’ site that allows bidding on these kids. Everything is running through my head. I try to run through the shit from therapy. I was a fuckin’ kid. I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t ask for the shit that happened. I beat the fuck out of the old man when I was old enough. I got mine in. Every single Brother has a story. Mine isn’t even so different from Danny’s. Every day we live and we live good. We make it better for the kids and women. That’s what it’s about. Taking the shit lives we started with and making it better for us, our old ladies, and our kids. I keep repeating it in my head until VP sits by me.

“It’s true. When you was hittin’ the wall at Security I picked it up. Not just the boy, but you. Never said fuck to no one. Not my story to tell. My words aren’t good, but I got your back; always, in everythin’.” He stands, putting his hand on my shoulder and walks away. I smile. He does. They all do. I get up and join the others, grabbing a beer on the way. I love the fuckin’ Brotherhood.

I’m emptying boxes with tears falling. I don’t even try to stop them. After hearing what Tiny’s been through, so many things make sense. His fear of being like the man that hurt him, the crazy advice shows, the showers he kept taking trying to clean it all away when he found out about Diego, his protectiveness of Sandy, his worry over everyone’s kids and who they spend time with. It all falls into place.

I even understand why he didn’t tell me. I think it’s irrational, but I understand. He’s lived in the MC his whole adult life. They would never think less of him because of what happened to him as a kid. They wouldn’t judge him and neither would I. He’s become such a good man because of and in spite of what happened to him.

I empty the last box and find the tissues. I need to get it together before Heather comes in. I tried to be strong for him last night, but it all boiled over as soon as I was alone. My big Tiny has been carrying this around for years. He told me he didn’t need me to do anything. I asked but had no idea what I could possibly do. He just wanted me to know. The therapist thought it would be a good way to let it go instead of carrying and worrying about a secret. I’m glad he told me. I want to say I wish he would have told me sooner, but I don’t think I do. Shit, more tears.

Heather comes in and starts tagging all the clothes I pulled this morning. I sit at my table and make jewelry; this keeps me in my own little world where I don’t have to chat. I think about my gentle giant with his big secret. I love him so much more knowing what he’s had to overcome. When I think about it that way I realize I’m not crying. He made it and he’s making it better for the kids the best way he knows how. He let me push him into parenting for the group home. I know he could have said no and I would have let it go. I would have been pissed and made his life miserable for a couple of weeks, but I would have let it go. He wanted to do this even though he was nervous, then Courtney happened and we got Diego. I can’t even imagine what that did to him. He never gave up, though. He’s stronger than me, that’s for sure. I smile, thinking about what Jessie always says, ‘He’s sharing his strong, making everyone else stronger because of it.’ That’s my big Tiny, always sharing his strong. I don’t want to sit here any longer.

I clear the beads and wire from my table. “Heather, I’m going home early today. Sheila should be here in an hour.”

She looks at me surprised. “Okay, is everything all right?”

I’m kind of giddy. “Yep, everything is good. I need to go see my man.” She laughs. I don’t stay to answer any more questions. Walking to Amanda’s studio, I pick up the pictures I had her make from some Danny sent me in an email. They are perfect. She has one framed for his desk, one for his wall, and one for the house. He’s going to love them. The one for our house has the boys jumping from a rock into the lake at the reservation. It is so freakin’ cute. My favorite is Tiny sitting with all the kids on the deck. He’s telling a story in sign language. They were all watching so focused on him they didn’t know the picture was taken. The little one is of Tiny, Diego, and Ricky. Tiny is holding Diego, and Ricky is smiling at both of them. He has his hand on Diego’s arm. Tiny is going to love it. The frame matches the picture of Sandy that Amanda took at Family Day. They’ll look nice together on his desk.

When I get to Transport Baker tells me Tiny is training at the range. He helps me get the picture on the wall and I put the small one on his desk. I leave just as happy, knowing it will be a nice surprise for him when he comes in.

I check on the kids and decide on dinner. It can’t have been an easy day for him, so I’ll make it good in the ways I can. Once everything is cooking, I run upstairs, pulling my bra off and clipping my chain to the bears on my nipple rings. Any way I can, I think with a goofy smile.