MC: Callahan (15 page)

He signs again, ‘Bag, stairs, hard.’

“Daddy’s bag was hard to get up the stairs. I fell down and bumped on them. My head hurts now. Daddy puts corn to make it better,” Jacob says. Jeremy touches his head and gives him a small smile. He calls me Daddy. I’m surprised and look at Nancy. She has tears in her eyes.

“Was anyone with you?” CJ asks him.

He signs, ‘No.’ Jacob tells us he wanted to do it himself.

“Did your daddy tell you to bring the bag up?” she asks. I roll my eyes.

He signs, ‘No.’ And looks at Jacob.

“He’s happy Daddy came home. He wanted to take it up and make Daddy happy. Next time Daddy goes away I want him to take me ‘cause I’m a big boy too. I can get patches like Ricky and stay in a hostel too. I can be a big boy like that.”

I laugh and sign and say, “Hotel. We stayed in a hotel. We’re going to a hotel next weekend. It has a swim park in it. All the kids are going and you get to sleep in the hotel with us.”

He looks up at me and I nod. “I can go to the hotel?” Jacob asks.

Nancy laughs. “Of course, you’re one of our kids too. You get to go where we go.”

He smiles. Jeremy and Jacob laugh. “They are yours now, this is your family. The Little Brothers will teach you where your strong is and help you when you need it just like Momma and Daddy.” Me, Nancy, and CJ just watch them. They aren’t paying attention to us anymore. “Ricky and Sandy help here. We help from our house and the Club. Jeremy can help you in school. Everyone helps everyone. We share our strong. Little Ben takes care of all of us Little Brothers.” They all laugh. He makes noise again.

“Jeremy, why can’t Diego talk?” I ask.

Jacob looks at me. His face screws up like he doesn’t understand and it’s ugly. “The man took it from him. He took everything from him.” Tears fall, but he keeps going. “He hurt him bad. He wouldn’t let him talk, no noise, not one sound. He, he hurts, he...” Fuck! Jeremy moves so fast, he pushes Jacob’s hand off Diego, jumps off the chair and hugs Jacob. CJ holds them both. Jacob is sobbing. He won’t let Jeremy go. I hold onto Diego, putting his head on my chest. A fuckin’ man hurt him. Nancy sits on the chair and rubs Diego’s back, with tears falling down her face. Sandy comes running and holds onto Jacob and Jeremy. They all lean on CJ. Holy shit, I have no fuckin’ idea what I’m supposed to do. I’d like to rip someone’s head off. The kids all come up the deck and sit between the chair and CJ. They’re all touching someone. Little Ben runs through the back gate with Steve jogging behind him. Holy fuck, this is getting weird. I feel calmer seeing Steve, but at the same time my heart is racing with an anxious feeling that this is going to get worse.

Steve goes right to Jeremy and Jacob. He lifts Jacob to him, then calls Sandy and Joey while he walks through the sliders into the house, holding onto Jeremy’s hand so he follows. Nancy looks at me as she wipes tears from her eyes. CJ looks like she’s in shock.

“You okay, CJ?” I ask, sounding gruff.

She looks at me then Diego. “His book doesn’t have this. It was complete neglect, that’s why he’s so small. Nothing of a sexual nature. I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t speak it. I can’t have someone standing giving accounts. It has to come from him—”

Diego grabs onto me, turning his face to my chest. He’s crying with no sound. I growl, cutting CJ off. “No, we’ll figure something else out.” I give him a squeeze. “You don’t have to do anything, little man. We take care of our own. You don’t have to do anything that hurts you. I’ll make sure of it. Yeah?” He squeezes me harder, nodding his head.

Fuckin’ grown man hurt my little man. I want to kill him. Little Ben gets the kids off the deck and playing kickball. I sit with Diego and the women, waiting for Steve to come back out. A few minutes go by and Jacob runs through the door and into the game. Sandy comes out, smiling with Joey. She runs to Nancy and hugs her, then runs to play ball. Joey calls little Ben and goes back in telling me VP wants me too. Diego tightens his grip. “No one here will hurt you, little man. I need to see how to fix this so you don’t get hurt anymore.” I stand and plead with Nancy’s eyes to take him so he’s not sitting alone. She gets it and sits, putting her arms up for him. He panics until he sees it’s her, then he grabs around her neck and buries his face in her hair. Being fucked up, I’m thinking that’s just where I want to be. With a shake of my head, I walk through the door with little Ben on my heels.

Steve has Jeremy at his shoulder. “Cloud’s comin’.” He doesn’t say anything else, so I wait.

“They’re all a little off, Dad, they understood.”

Steve looks at him and he’s visibly shaken. “I need to find out. He can’t do both.”

Little Ben thinks for a minute. “I could get them all here. We can give him strong to get him through it.” Steve stares at him. He’s going to refuse. Little Ben stops him. “They’re too little to have this in their head, Dad, this is important.” He’s pissed.

Steve’s eyes are flashing. “Took care of Sandy and Jacob. Need to find out what we’re dealin’ with and help the boy. Don’t give a fuck about the older right now. Boy doesn’t need that shit in his head. Need Jeremy for that!” he growls out.

I look at little Ben, feeling bad for him. He sees helping more to forget what they heard. His dad sees helping the worst by getting the information about what happened to him. “We can talk to the boys. It may be better that they get it now, to understand and to protect too. We can’t fix that for Diego, but we could teach the others what to watch out for. I think your father’s right. We need to help Diego more than anyone else right now. If all Jeremy can do is get us information so we can help him, that’s what we need.”

He clenches his jaw but throws chin. “I’ll ask Patches to get us material.”

Cloud walks in with Christian and Hawk. “Need Brantley and Taylor, this will hurt him.” He indicates Christian. Cloud nods at him and takes Jeremy. Christian turns right around and walks out. He knows what he can and can’t handle. Joey is leaning heavy on her hand crutches, watching with a sad smile. It’s affected her too. I’m not even sure what the kids do, but Jeremy helps people and the kids help him. I’m glad Sandy and Jacob were a priority to Steve. I don’t want them having this in their heads. They’re too little to be touched with this.

Cloud sits. He turns Jeremy facing out. His arms wrap around him and kisses his head. Jeremy looks tired but smiles. Little Ben puts his hand on one shoulder, Joey puts hers on the other, and Steve kneels down in front of him.

“Need what you got from Diego. Need to identify and any information you get. All of it. It’s important, lil’ ninja. Yeah?” Jeremy nods so serious. Steve turns to me. “Go with the boy. Cloud can do this.” I gladly walk out the door. I want to shield Jeremy, but I have no idea how to do that. My little ninja needs his dad for this. I hope Cloud can get it out of his head.

*  *  *

All the kids are settled and I’m sitting on the deck with Ricky, Sheila, and Nancy. I need to get to the patio, but I’ve been putting it off. Steve didn’t want to talk about what he got from Jeremy. He was pissed but looked like he aged too. I think that’s what has me stalling. I kiss Nancy and tell her I’ll try not to be too late, then tell the kids I’ll see them tomorrow as I walk out the door.

Danny, Rich, Bob, Steve, and Cloud are sitting at the table when I walk in. I’m relieved little Ben isn’t here.

“Too young and he’s pissed,” Steve says. I nod and sit, blowing out a breath.

Steve stands and paces. “Boy was sold by Internet, started around four. Men bid on him. Locked in a closet most of his life. Was found by a girlfriend, called DSS and had him removed. Think the mother is dead. Never spoke after the first time. Somethin’ to that but Jeremy was agitated. Jeremy says he belongs here. Trouble’s comin’, but he’s shieldin’ the boy or us.” Thank fuck he stops. He was sold and lived in a fuckin’ closet.

I’m breathing heavy. I need to hit someone. I stand and pace, my mind running a hundred miles an hour.

“Is that all, Steve?” Danny asks.

“Like there needs to be fuckin’ more?” I growl at him.

“Jeremy saw what they did to him. Cloud took him away. Fuckin’ needed him to take it away.”

“Did you get information so we can find the bastard?” Bob asks. His voice is a growl. I’m surprised by the tone.

Steve looks at him. “Got Geek on it. A ghost site only on when he’s ready for transactions. More than one boy was on the site.”

“I’m not sure the Little Brothers should be in on this. Little Ben is pissed, Jeremy sees too fuckin’ much, and Christian is too sensitive,” Danny says.

“Yeah.” I don’t know what else to say here. I’m at a fuckin’ loss. Another boy is still being sold.

“You going to be okay, Tiny?” Cloud asks.

I look at him like he’s crazy, he’s got to be. “No, I’m not fuckin’ all right! There’s another boy being sold out there! My boy was sold to the highest fuckin’ bidder, lost his ability to talk, lived for fuckin’ six years in a fuckin’ closet! What about all that is fuckin’ okay?”

“Not a fuckin’ thing, Brother, but it’s you that I’m asking about. You need to talk it out. I’m letting you know I’m here. You need to get away, my house on the reservation is yours. Whatever you need to get through it, I’m here,” he says so calm. I stop and breathe. I see the old man for a minute and shake my head, blowing the air out.

“Fuckin’ sold him, Cloud.” I swallow, putting my hands on my knees. “The only touch he had was fuckin’ pedophiles on him.” I breathe out, trying to calm my fuckin’ head, swallow the lump in my throat, and blink back tears.

Rich puts his hand on my shoulder. “No, he has you and Nancy. He has love now. It’s like Tess, he’ll learn love. She couldn’t keep going back, she had to look forward. You need to guide him that way. It hurts like fuck, but you have to walk him through
everything
. When you think you have it all, you’ll get hit with something else, but you get through it. He needs you to be strong. That’s how he’s going to learn.”

He’s right. I stand and look at him. He knows. He’s been through it and worse. I sit, putting my head in my hands. “What do you need, Tiny?”

“Time, we have to get that shit out of his head.” I sound exhausted. I guess my head is.

“Take the kids to the reservation. It’s a good place to heal. I’ll cover you. Jess can cover Nancy. Little Ben is pissed that all the kids are aware. They need this too,” Danny says.

They all were helping him and touching him all night, not knowing what to do. They were trying to comfort him. Getting them away sounds good right now. “Yeah. We’ll go tomorrow.”

“I’ll get the house stocked before you get there. My grandmother will show if she’s needed,” Cloud says.

I throw him chin. “Anything else I should know before I go?”

“We got you covered. Take what you need. Call you need help, Brother,” Steve says.

“Yeah.” I walk out, feeling like every step is an effort. Fuckin’ sold him on the Internet. Instead of going home I walk the beach to the bluffs then to the rock formation a couple hundred yards away. I’m too pissed to go home, so I sit and watch the waves roll in. He was sold, never touched with love. Only vile and probably viscous rape ever touched my little man. I had to teach him how to shower and change his bed after he wet in it. He was so fuckin’ scared. I remember that face. It will haunt me for fuckin’ ever now that I know what he was thinking. He hid in the safe room hoping to be safe. My breath hitches and I realize I’m crying. I haven’t cried in years. It feels weird. My chest hurts with his pain. I know the pain but not the isolation. I never cried for myself, but I’m crying for a little boy that was sold to the highest bidder, and one that still is. They have to find him. I’m sitting forever when I feel someone else here with me. I look back and see Danny.

He hands me a beer and sits on the side of me. When I feel like I can talk I look at him. “You have to find the boy. We can’t leave him out there.”

“That’s what Steve said. We’ll find him.” I can hear the emotion in his voice.

When my head clears of the shit I keep buried, I stand. We walk back in silence until we get to the split in the walkway. “You still bringing them to the water park?”

I look out at the water. “I can’t be gone forever, someone’s got to work.”

“You’re covered, Brother, means for however long you need it. Pack as many memories as you can in those days. We’ll be at the beach house. Come out. It’s a holiday weekend. Make it special.” He’s watching me with that all seeing eye.

“All right. We’ll be there.” I throw him chin and walk to the house. Nancy’s on the porch, waiting for me. I sit and put my arm around her.

We watch the fireflies play in the trees for a while. “It’s bad, isn’t it?” she says softly.

I tighten my arm around her. “Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “He was sold on the Internet, lived in a closet for six years.”

She cries. All I can do is hold her. When her breathing evens out I carry her in and lock the door. In the room I undress her and throw one of my shirts on, then lay her on the bed. She’s like a rag doll. I know how she feels, numb and not sure what to do. I kiss her head and tell her to sleep. With a quick shower, I lie down beside her. She rolls onto my chest and I feel her tears. It takes her forever to fall asleep. When I’m sure she’s sleeping, I slide out and check the kids. Everyone is sleeping. The boys look so young in sleep. Diego is curled in a ball as far away from the front of his platform as he can get. It strikes me how damn small he is. I swallow the lump in my throat and decide we can do what Danny says and make better memories for him.