Maya And The Tough Guy (3 page)

“Well, Maya, I’m not going to judge you. I just want to make sure you’re healthy. If you try this job out and find it’s affecting your self-image in a negative way, I want you to talk to me about it. We’ll brainstorm some options.”

Maya’s self-image was already shit. She had trouble imagining it getting worse.
 

“So you said you’re feeling lonely. Have you given any thought to joining my Survivors of Domestic Abuse support group?”

“Yes.”

“It’s on Monday nights, right here in this building. We’d love to have you.”

Maya didn’t commit one way or the other. At the end of the session, she gathered up her children and drove home to Zoey’s house. It was 5:00 p.m. on Thursday, which meant Maya had a full twenty-four hours before starting a job that terrified her to her bones.

She fixed dinner for her kids and sat at the table with them and Zoey, eating without tasting, smiling without feeling. She and Zoey cleaned up the kitchen, and then Maya went to her room to steal a few moments with Zoey’s laptop. She found several online GED prep courses, clicked on one that was free, and downloaded a practice test. The very sight of it intimidated her.
 

She closed the laptop and stood in front of the full-length mirror. She stripped down to her underwear and examined herself. It wasn’t a bad body, maybe a little skinny. There was some tone and definition to her arms and legs. Nothing she could do about the three, pale stretch marks low on her abdomen. Her breasts were nothing to write home about. Then again, because they were on the small-side, they’d recovered well from breastfeeding.
 

The more she looked at herself, the more she saw mediocrity; possibly even less than mediocrity. No wonder Jayce hadn’t wanted to hire her. No wonder Damon had found her so unsatisfying.

“What are you doing, Maya?” he asked.

She stood in front of him in her panties with her hands covering her breasts.

“Covering up?” he laughed. “Like I haven’t seen those pathetic bumps you call breasts? Take down your fucking hands.”

She lowered her trembling hands.

“Get over here and suck me off.” He unfastened his jeans and pushed them down. He wasn’t even erect as he sat on the edge of the bed. All Maya could think was how her naked body hadn’t even aroused her husband.

She knelt and worked him with her tongue until he was hard in her mouth. Unfortunately, that was the best she could do. Though her jaws ached, she couldn’t give him what he needed.

At last, he jerked her head away by her hair. “You’re useless,” he said, pulling up his pants. “I’m going out.”

She stood and clung to him. “Where?”

“Find me a real woman.”
 

“No! No, Damon, please! I’ll do better, I swear. Let me try again, I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry!”

He slapped her, knocking her into the bed. “Get off me, bitch.”
 

He left and didn’t come back until the morning.

The memory made her sick. The thought of displaying her body in front of a bunch of men made her sick. The thought of those men sneering at her unimpressive body sent her running back to the laptop. She threw her nightgown on, sat on the edge of the bed, and started clicking answers on the practice test.

CHAPTER THREE

Jayce was pulling drinks for his Friday night crowd. By nine, the place was noisy and packed. Still, a hush passed over the room when the door flew open, letting in an icy blast followed by a flaming mad redhead.

Her name skipped among the crowd like stones over water. “Zoey,” the whispers echoed.

Zoey’s eyes narrowed as she turned her head toward poor Rick and Eddie at the back of the room. “Take my picture off the goddamn dart board, Rick, you piece of shit.”

“Yeah. Sorry, Zoey, sorry.” Rick hurried to obey her command.
 

Jayce showed no emotion. He kept his laughter on the inside. He’d noticed a long time ago that at least once a week, someone came in to drink away a bad encounter with Zoey. At first, he’d found the picture of her for his friend Eddie to throw darts at. Zoey had put the fear of God in him on several occasions, for no real reason. Nowadays, Jayce put it on the board just to watch Zoey have a conniption every time she walked in.

With Rick scurrying to do her bidding, Zoey’s baleful eyes made their way to Jayce, and his humor vanished. Her glare sent chills down his back, followed by waves of defensive anger. He hated the way she sparked his ire before she even said a word. She glided into the bar and past him down the hall, her eyes never leaving him. He handed over the taps to Janice and followed Zoey into his office.

“The fuck, Zoey. It’s Friday night—”

She whirled around and slapped him, stinging him into silence. He blinked away the stars and gaped at her. He was about to give her a piece of his mind and maybe have her arrested, when he saw tears in her eyes. And pain. He immediately thought of Kellen, who was away for the week. Had something happened to him? “Zoey, what’s wrong?” he asked, fear welling inside of him. Kellen was his brother in all but name.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was for her to come here and ask you for a job? After you’d already told her you didn’t want to hire her, do you have any idea how much pride and fear she had to swallow to walk in here Monday?”

He blinked. “This is about Maya?”

Zoey rolled her eyes and fell into the chair across from his desk. He went and sat behind his desk. “You’re a fucking idiot,” she said.

“I’m an idiot? You want your best friend serving drinks to grabby alcoholics for a living?”

“Better than where she’s working now. Do you know where she’s working tonight, Jayce?”

“All I know is she said there was another place she could try.”

“Well that other place was Wild Side. So she’s there tonight dancing topless for a bunch of sleazy middle-aged guys trying to reclaim their youth.”

Her voice took on a distant quality as Jayce’s senses went into high alert. He felt nauseous and angry, then deeply sad and also ashamed. “Fuck,” he cursed. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t think she’d really do it. But now she’s there and I hate you!”

His knuckles were white. His jaw set. He looked up at Zoey and wanted to blame her. But this wasn’t her fault. “Let’s go get her,” he said.

Zoey’s anger vanished. “Really?”

“What do you mean, really? Come on.”

He stood, and she followed without arguing for once.
 

Jayce insisted on driving his truck. Saint Claire was a small city with a population just under forty thousand. For the most part it was a tidy town with a neat, historic Main Street and a well-planned business district. But just across the river was the part of town nobody liked to acknowledge.

Jayce drove down the broken highway and over the bridge. They passed adult stores and taverns and trailer parks. Wild Side shone like a garish beacon in a wasteland of destitution and immorality. Neon lights flashed around a sign that announced, “Girls, girls, girls!”
 

Jayce pulled up by the front door and left the truck running. “Wait here,” he said to Zoey.

“I’m going in—”

“Wait here, goddammit!”

He’d stunned her long enough to get out of the truck. He walked in the front door and was immediately accosted by loud, bass-booming music. The lights were low, except where they shone on the pole dancers around the room. He scanned the area but didn’t see Maya anywhere. He pushed through the crowd to the bar.

A woman with only a tight, short skirt on was gathering drinks. He caught up with her. “I’m looking for Maya Bradley.”

“The new girl? I think she’s giving a lap dance in the back.” She jerked her head over her shoulder.
 

Jayce made his way back to a quieter area, where there were several, curtained off rooms. The first two curtains yielded nothing, but the third one he ripped back revealed Maya, topless, straddling some asshole with a handful of cash.
 

Jayce didn’t hesitate. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off the guy.
 

“Hey, I paid for this dance!” the jerk shouted.

Jayce let go of Maya, grabbed the guy’s finger, and bent it back. He found that for most bullies, a simple gesture like this was more effective at scaring them into submission than the threat of blows. Jayce preferred not to brawl unless absolutely necessary. “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Jayce shouted over the music.

“Ah! Fuck! Nothing, man, nothing! Shit!”

Jayce released the asshole’s finger. He took off his coat and put it around a weeping Maya, who was standing there with her arms over her bare breasts, and led her back to the locker room. It was quieter, there. The lights were on. The bass rattled the walls, but nothing drowned out Maya’s sobs. She was cradling her ribs, and he realized he might have hurt her when he’d pulled her away. She’d still not fully healed from the broken rib her husband had given her a month ago.

“Get dressed,” he said. He wanted to beg her forgiveness. He wanted to ask her to let him help her, to let him give her everything he had, but words like that didn’t form easily for Jayce. All that he could get out was, “Get dressed and let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Jayce turned while Maya put on her clothes and gathered her purse. The manager came in with a bouncer at his side. “What’s going on, Maya?”

Jayce stood in front of her. “She’s quitting.” He locked eyes with the bouncer since that was where the physical threat would come from. The manager looked Jayce up and down, while Jayce and the bouncer remained zeroed in on each other.
 

“Fine,” the manager said at last. The bouncer stepped back and eased his stance. “Go. But don’t come crawling back, you hear?”

“She hears,” Jayce said. He put his arm around her and led her past them, through the club, and out the front door.
 

Zoey hopped out of the truck and helped Maya into the middle. Maya cried hard in Zoey’s arms. Jayce wanted to take them home, to make sure that Maya got some place she felt safe. But Zoey’s car was at his bar, so that’s where he drove, seething the whole time. Mad at himself. Mad at Maya for not standing up for herself better.

He parked behind his bar and hopped out of the truck. By the time he made it around, Zoey was helping Maya down. Zoey stepped away from Maya when Jayce approached. He didn’t have a chance to think about and appreciate the gesture, but he gave her a quick nod of approval. She nodded back. He took Maya by the shoulders. “Up here, honey,” he said, directing her to meet his gaze.

She lifted her eyes, surrounded by running mascara and eye liner. “You start tomorrow,” he said. “I need you here at five. We close at one-thirty. Wear whatever you want, but make sure you wear good shoes, okay?”

She nodded. “Jayce, I—”

“Tomorrow at five.”

“Yes. Thank you.”
 

He backed away and looked at Zoey who then took Maya’s arm and led her to her car. After they drove away, he went back into the bar to drown his feelings in work.

#

Since the kids were spending the weekend with their grandparents and Kellen was out of town, Maya climbed into bed with Zoey. She snuggled up next to her, just grateful to have a warm friend to hold her.
 

“Shh, everything’s okay now,” Zoey said.

“You’re going to be a great mother some day,” Maya whispered as Zoey gently stroked her hair.

“Yeah, right.”

Maya sighed. She’d run out of tears an hour ago. “I’m too humiliated to be humiliated,” she said softly. “I thought after living with Damon, nothing could make me feel ashamed again. But tonight, I felt such shame, such self-hate. Thank you for coming to get me.”

“I didn’t. I went to yell at Jayce. He’s the one who got up and went after you. I just followed along.”

“You didn’t tell him to come get me?”

“Jayce cares about you, Maya. He’s a better friend than you think.”

Maya shook her head. She barely knew the guy. Sure, they’d grown up together for the most part. But Jayce had been so sexy and intimidating, he’d always just had this untouchable quality about him. Except for their one, disastrous date, she’d barely even spoken to him in the ensuing years. Though with his best friend dating her best friend, they were seeing a bit more of each other than usual.
 

“I think he despises me,” she said, though it occurred to her that he’d rescued her, tonight. Perhaps he felt sorry for her. Poor pathetic Maya who couldn’t stand on her own two feet.

“Why would he despise you?” Zoey asked in the voice of a mother asking her child why the other kids at school wouldn’t love her little darling.

Maya couldn’t answer the question. She knew the answer, she just couldn’t say it. She couldn’t say, ‘Because I’m weak. Helpless. Pathetic.’ She couldn’t say, ‘Because I’m not a real woman. Because I’m too skinny, too stupid, too boring.’ But she could think those things. Even believe them, most of the time. If it weren’t for Zoey and Addy, she’d believe them all of the time. But her two best friends had shown her that she wasn’t always pathetic or dumb. She had moments that were good. Moments when she was proud of herself.
 

“I hope I can do a good job for Jayce,” Maya said.

“You’re going to do great.”

“I just don’t want to burden him. He’s doing me this huge favor—”

“What favor? He needed another server and you applied for the position. It’s not charity, Maya.”

It felt like charity. “I guess,” she said.

As Zoey stroked her hair, Maya drifted into a restless sleep.

CHAPTER FOUR

“Take it easy!” Janice shouted.

It was twenty minutes until time to open for the night, and Jayce had talked Janice into coming to his bed in his small apartment above the bar. He barely heard her. “Thought you liked it rough, Jan,” he panted, pounding into her, mindlessly, desperate to feel this, to find release and forget for a moment.

She pushed him hard enough that he finally noticed. He looked down at her. “I like it rough, sometimes,” she said. “But not like this.”