May the Best Man Win (5 page)

 

 

I woke up in bed with a snoring Ronald next to me. I put my hand on my forehead, because I could not believe I ended up here once again. Maybe I was fooling myself by going out and looking for Mr. Right last night. Maybe Ronald is Mr. Fuck-it-he'll-have-to-do. Is every man a liar and a cheat? Or was I just a magnet for losers? The hell if I knew, but I was surely getting tired of the runaround with these men I'd been stumbling on to.

I got up and stretched as Ronald shifted in the bed, but he did not get up. Of course he didn't; what did he have to get up for? He had no job with prospects, that was clear. I sluggishly headed to the shower. After about fifteen minutes in the shower, I was out and drying myself off. While I was in the shower I did have a conversation with myself about being optimistic and sticking it out with Ronald and his flaws.

As I was in my walk-in closet, trying to get myself a suit to wear to work, Ronald snuck up and grabbed me from behind.

“Where do you think you are going?” he said as his muscular arms wrapped around me, threatening to break my smaller ones.

“To work,” I said, while he licked the back of my neck. He eased his hands under my V-neck undershirt and caressed my pecks. He was turning me on. He was very good at getting me hot and bothered within seconds of his touch. I had a floor-to-ceiling mirror at the end of my closet and I looked at the two gorgeous guys who stood in front of it. I wasn't sure of how long this was going to last, but I liked what I saw in that mirror. I saw a glimmer of hope. “Ummmmm . . . Not now, baby,” I said, struggling to ease my way out of his grasp.

“You sure?” He started to take of his shirt. His body was almost flawless. His pecks were huge and his abs could wash a couple loads of clothes easily, they were that tight. He stood there in his boxers and a fresh pair of my socks.

“Um. Umm. I have to get to work,” I said, trying to keep the snake in my pants from growing. It was a losing battle. As I looked into his soft eyes and a smirk on his face that made me melt, I knew if I didn't go now I would be late, if I went at all. It had happened before.

He eased his boxers down and his manhood, which was curved and hard, beckoned my lips like a mouse to cheese.

“Are you sure?” he asked again. This time he made it jump and slap his thigh. He smiled as if he knew he had me. I shook my head and pushed past him with my suit in hand. It took everything in me not to go back and finish him off in the closet.

“Yep.” Somebody had to bring home the bacon. And I surely couldn't rely on him to get the job done.

I stood at my dresser as I fixed my tie and made sure my hair was in place. Ronald sat on the corner of the bed and watched me as I finished my ritual. I watched him from the large mirror that was on the same dresser as he made his pecks dance. He knew I was watching him and he also knew that I loved his chest. He was really trying to entice me.

“So what are you going to do today?” I asked as I walked away from my dresser, out of my room, and down the steps toward my kitchen while he was in pursuit. He came in the kitchen right after me and sat down at the table.

“I'ma go holler at a couple of my boys and then I'm going to check out a couple of spots to see if I can get me some work.” He was drawing circles in the table as he talked, which made me think he was just talking to be talking. I wondered if he was one of those pretty boy airheads. Was I just keeping him here as a placeholder for the man of my dreams or maybe so my bed wouldn't be cold at night? He was getting on my nerves.

“All right, whatever,” I said nonchalantly. I made a cup of coffee, made my way toward my office, and got my laptop and some papers for work. I was trying my best to get out of the house before he wanted to try to get a piece before I left, again.

He went into the living room and cut the television on. As I made my way toward the door, I turned toward him as he sat in my chocolate and cream leather and suede sectional with his feet propped up on my matching ottoman.

“Are you going to be here when I get back or is this the last time I am going to see you for a while?”

“Sure, baby boy. Because that fat ass you got right there belongs to me tonight.” He was smiling ear to ear and laughing. I just shook my head and exited my home.

“I guess this is my life,” I mumbled to myself as I walked out of my door. I'd have to say that I wasn't too comfortable with this situation. Here I was portraying one thing at work and being another thing in my personal life. I just wanted to be happy and in a relationship with someone I could depend on. Was that too much to ask?

 

I walked into work with a frown on my face and a frown in my heart. I just wasn't sure how I was going to put up with Ronald and his shenanigans for a long time. I walked into my office and shut my door. My secretary waved a couple of messages or something in the air, but I was too preoccupied with my defunct love life. I was a successful marketing executive of a marketing company (Bankable Advertising, Inc.) that I launched right after I graduated from college. I was on the right track with a heavy client base that rivaled any other marketing firm in the area. I had several junior execs and one intern who were in my staff of professionals. All I needed to complete the puzzle of my life was a life partner I could lean on for love and support forever. It just didn't seem like it was ever going to happen. Ever.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Come in,” I said, logging on to my computer system and checking my e-mails.

“Mr. Spencer, is everything okay?” My secretary, Janice, walked up to my desk with a notepad in hand. She was a petite woman. Her skin was as chocolate as a Hershey Kiss and she was as sweet as one, too. She was a bit older than I wanted to hire, but she was efficient and meticulous, which was why I hired her. I had just launched my company and my office was in disarray. In the middle of her interview I had to use the bathroom and within ten minutes of my absence she had completely organized my entire desk and half my office. I knew I should have been annoyed by her touching my things but she showed that she was orderly and professional. She also reminded me a little of my deceased grandmother. Needless to say, I hired her on the spot.

I continued to type away, partially ignoring her. “No, Janice, everything is fine. Sorry for ignoring you earlier. I was thinking about something and I wanted to write it down before I forgot. How are you doing this morning?” I said all in one breath.

“Wonderful, Mr. Spencer. Just marvelous. God is good.” She was now smiling and that alone caused me to smile. She was infectious and lighthearted all the time. I'd never heard her raise her voice once.

“That's great to hear, Janice,” I said with a bit of envy in my voice.

“Here are your messages,” she said, placing them on my desk. “Do you need anything to drink, Mr. Spencer?”

“Sure, I'll have a mint tea and a bagel with cream cheese, please.”

She shuffled out of the door making her exit.

As I looked at my messages I had noticed one from my father. He was estranged, or strange if I had to tell it. He and my mom were together, but they were separated. He came and went as he pleased and she let him. Maybe that was where I got my ways from. Letting men do and act the way they wanted to.

My dad was a good provider from a distance even though he wasn't always around when I needed him. And he asked me if that was the reason I was the way I was. You know, gay and all. Blaming him for me being gay was not even an option. I was gay because I liked men, plain and simple. He was not to blame and I never made him feel that way. Anyway, he wanted me to call him. He said he was worried about me. This had my mom written all over it.
She is such a blabbermouth. She just couldn't keep it to herself, could she?
Now he was going to be all in my business.

Like the procrastinator I was, I pushed that message to the end of the day, maybe even the end of the week. I was not comfortable with my dad asking me about how the men in my life were treating me. It was just too freaking weird, SMH (shake my head) kind of weird.

I continue to sift through the rest of the messages, none striking me as urgent: a few prospective clients and one from my sister, another busybody. I wish they would just leave me alone.

Janice came back in with tea and bagel and my itinerary for the day: a couple business meetings and project projections, nothing too heavy.

“Thank you so much, Janice.”

“No problem, boss.” She was just so refreshing, a needle in a haystack of people, very reliable and dependable.

“Oh and, Janice, I appreciate all that you do around here for me and the company.” I had to make a mental note to put a little extra money in her paycheck this week.

“My pleasure,” she said, making her exit.

I turned back around toward my computer and proceeded to start my day.

 

About an hour into my day Janice buzzed my office to tell me I had a call. I was a little miffed but I kept it to myself. I hated being sidetracked when I was working. When I had a set pace I got a lot done. Any interruptions were costly. Janice knew this and she only let in calls that the caller deemed necessary.

“Okay, I got it,” I slightly yelled to her. When I saw the light flashing on my phone line I picked up. “Kardell Spencer speaking.”

“What are you doing, baby?” Ronald asked.

It's called work. You should try it.
That was what I wanted to say to him but I kept my cool.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about you,” I lied.

“Yeah, 'cause daddy can't wait to get with that tonight,” he cooed into the phone with seduction. I was not as enthusiastic. I mean I loved having sex with him and all of that, but there wasn't any other incentives for me to come home to. He was eye candy and a warm body. I kept conversation to a minimum with him.

“I'm sorry, baby, I have a little shift in plans. I have to be here a little later than expected.”

“How late? 'Cause it is getting lonely up in here.”

If you had a muthafuckin' job you wouldn't have to worry about that shit now would you?
Again, I kept that one to myself. I was such a coward when I came to confrontation and men. No backbone at all. Just lying the fuck down and letting them walk all over. It was getting so bad, I was about to get WELCOME tattooed on my back, because I felt like a doormat most of the time.

“I don't know,” I said, blowing out some air, hoping he would get the point and hang up.

“You mean to tell me you're the boss and you don't know what time you getting off?” he said with an attitude. “Let one of them muthafuckin' flunkies do that shit. I need you home on time tonight.”

I looked at the phone in disbelief.
I know this dude is not trying to call shots up in my shit.
He was but a trip and a fall down my steps from being on the street and he was telling me what I should and shouldn't do.

“Well, what am I supposed to do until you get here?” he questioned me again.

Try looking in the classifieds, bastard. You just might find a job.
“Well, baby,” I said with some sweetness in my voice. I wanted to blast his ass and he didn't even know it. “Could you clean up for me a little? I have some laundry that needs to be washed and I would love to have one of those delicious meals you cooked for me the other day.”

“Man, what do I look like, Uncle Ben or Benson?” he said like he was offended. “And I ain't about to be getting on my hands and knees and cleaning anything. That shit is women's work.”

“Okay, then, baby, you going to have to find something to do then, because I can't help you,” I said, sounding defeated. I was stuck with a loser and I couldn't get rid of him all because he could sex the hell out of me.

“Okay, I'll find something to do,” he said, hanging up the phone.

I leaned back in my chair and looked out the window down at the people passing by once again. A couple of people with bright, cheery smiles were holding hands. I looked over into the park across from my building and I saw various couples having picnics on blankets while children played feverishly. I was jealous to say the least. A single tear slid down my face as I knew I was sacrificing my happiness for sex. Great sex, but sex nonetheless. Out of all the people in the world, I could not find one man who would love me and treat me with respect. I felt robbed and rejected. I wanted happiness and love. And I didn't want to pay for it. I felt like it was my fault these men used and abused me. Mainly because I let them. The ones I picked were almost always good-looking. It was a weakness. A physically strong man was a weakness to me. I didn't want a man who couldn't protect me in an altercation.
Maybe that is where I'm going wrong. Maybe I could find a man if I just let go of my standards. Maybe I will try a regular guy.

I was not in a mood to be in my office, so I decided to take a walk to clear my head before I got back to focusing on my work.

“I'll be out of the office for a little while, Janice. Can you reschedule my appointments for the day?” I said, walking toward the elevator. I needed to get away fast before I broke down right then and there. I didn't need her or anyone else in my business.

 

 

Fast forward a few days and, yes, I was at the restaurant that Daniel invited me to eat at on him. I was dressed in light blue ultra-thin pants and a simple white H&M short-sleeved slim-cut shirt. No wild colors for me today. I didn't want to scare the brother off before I got my hands on him. I had on some really cute white Gucci sandals that showed off my magnificently manicured feet. They looked so good I wanted to suck my own toes.

The restaurant was located in historic Catonsville, Maryland, and the ambiance was fabulous. The place was filled with couples and there was some soft angelic music playing from the speakers.

I was seated for a few minutes before Daniel came out to the table and greeted me. “Thanks for coming out.” He reached over and shook my hand and smiled. It was a firm handshake, too. It gave me hope that he was a firm lover in the bedroom. He probably could hold his own and then some. “I hope you will enjoy the food and the evening.”

“Just being here is a pleasure.” I gave him a light smile. I didn't want to seem overanxious with a full-fledged smile. He looked really nice in his chef's outfit. It was clean and crisp.

“There will be a live harpist and soloist coming out in a few minutes to give the customers a treat, so enjoy.” He smiled and turned back to go into the kitchen.

The restaurant wasn't a large restaurant. It had about thirteen tables and a small stage located in the back. There wasn't an empty table so I knew that the place was doing well.

I'd put my phone on vibrate a few minutes ago and the buzzing against my thigh let me know that I had a message. I pulled it out of my pants pocket, read the message briefly, and then put it back in my pocket.

“I will have to deal with that later.” I spoke to myself as I took a sip of the complimentary champagne that was placed on my table a minute after I arrived. I grabbed a piece of the complimentary Gouda cheese and a cracker from the dish in the middle of the table.

There were a couple of fine guys in the restaurant and I eyed some of them to see if they gave off anything, but none of them were giving off any signals. I even smiled at a few and nothing come of any of it. I guess I was fishing hard for affection today. It's not like I didn't get enough as a child or even as an adult. I just wanted some personal attention and not just sex, even though that was a plus for me.

Just like Daniel said, the female performer and harpist came on to the small platform and began to entertain the small crowd of people present. Soon Daniel had presented me with my meal personally.

“Lamb, squash, and my special sautéed mushrooms.” Daniel set my extremely well-decorated plate in front of me.

“Oh, wow. This is just wonderful.” Daniel ate up my praise as I put my hand over his hand that was still on the table. I noticed no ring on his finger.
Yes!
But I didn't get too happy just yet because he didn't show me any clear signs that he was interested, or even gay for that matter. “I can't wait to dig in and tell you how good it is and I know it is.” I winked at him at the end of the comment. He smiled then walked away.

I enjoyed my food and the music as the evening went on. I savored every bite of my food. G. Garvin had nothing on Daniel's cooking skills and his looks were much more appealing as well, but maybe that was me being biased. I was hoping I could get good food and some good loving from the cook for a long time to come. I already saw him serving me breakfast in bed with nothing on but an apron and the fine body I knew he had underneath his clothes. We would have to work on his teeth though, because, again, that was a no-no.