Matt & Brooklyn: A Standalone in the "Again for the First Time" Family Saga (AFTFT Book 2) (29 page)

My cheeks heated, wondering what he had planned. “You have my word,” I answered, mimicking the response he’d given me a moment ago.

“All right. Get some sleep,” he said at the exact moment I yawned. Clearing the air with Lia and talking to him had given me the peace of mind I needed to rest.

“Okay… call me tomorrow?” I asked.

I could hear the smile in his voice when he responded. “Of course. Love you.”

I grinned again as I turned over. “I love you, too.”

Chapter Thirteen

Matt

Luke and I stood in the hallway outside Nick’s apartment alone. Our parents thought it’d be best for the three of us to meet up first, instead of everyone crowding him. The plan was to have him at the rehab facility by ten this morning, which was why Luke and I showed up at nine. Our mom suggested that we offer to help with any last minute packing, but I knew that was really a ploy. The truth was, she hated that Nick and I hadn’t spoken since the blow up weeks ago. I got it, understood and all, but finding out about his drug abuse was a blow to us all. Nick tried to reach me several times after that, but I just couldn’t talk to him. I was too angry and there was no telling what I’d say; probably something terrible that I couldn’t take back, so I avoided him.

“You think he’s okay in there?” Luke asked. He was giving off a ton of nervous energy, but that didn’t surprise me. This, what we were doing with Nick, was a hard thing. No one wants to see a loved one hit rock bottom, but I was happy he decided to let us help him.

I said some terrible things while Luke and I were here the last time and I’ll be the first one to admit it was wrong. I counted Nick out before he even had the chance to try to make this right. Those words could’ve been just enough to discourage him from trying to get better, just enough to make him feel hopeless and do something drastic. I should’ve been stronger for him. Luckily, though, he came to his senses and decided to take the first step toward recovering. Over the next ninety days, rehab would help him through the detox phase, help him learn how to cope with the addiction, and empower him to keep fighting. Despite my initial outlook, I had faith that my brother would see this thing through. And if he needed me, I would be working closer to the area by then once Pete’s new project kicked off.

Luke lifted a hand into the air to knock again, but before he could, Nick answered. I stared at him, shocked by how much better he looked. He was clean, had more color in his face, and from what I could see, he’d cleaned his place up, too.

He stepped aside and let Luke and I come in.

“You uh… you’re looking better,” I commented, feeling awkward because we hadn’t talked in so long. Luke was less surprised by Nick’s appearance because he’d been by a few times since my last visit.

Nick smiled a bit. “Thanks.” He was hesitant and I got the impression he didn’t know I was coming with Luke today. It made sense that he’d still think I was upset because there was no communication between us. It would also make sense that the rest of the family wouldn’t tell him I’d be in town, just in case I changed my mind about coming over at the last minute. I was glad I was here, though. It did my heart good to see my brother in a better place. This was sure to be a long, hard road, but we would make this journey together. As a family.

Nick was caught off guard when I embraced him. This could’ve all gone very differently. This addiction could’ve consumed him, taken him from us, but it didn’t. We were some of the lucky ones and I didn’t take that for granted.

“I love you, man,” I said when I tightened my grip, and I meant every word. No one was perfect and I didn’t expect him to be either.

The loose grip Nick had on me, tightened when he responded. “Me, too.” As guys, we weren’t accustomed to showing one another a ton of affection, but these circumstances were unusual. He needed to know that, despite the things I said before, I was behind him one-hundred percent. I had his back now, just like I always had. Regardless of what issues we had, we were brothers.

“I’m sorry,” I added while I was at it.

We released one another and Nick laughed. “What the hell do
you
have to apologize for? I’m the one who screwed up.”

I felt incredibly guilty for the things I said to him before, even if that was how I honestly felt that time.

“For not being a better brother,” I said, beginning to answer his question. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that last time I was here; shouldn’t have put my hands on you.”

He shrugged it off. “You were upset and you should’ve been.” Nick lowered his head. “I was being reckless. You only got pissed because you care.”

While, that was true, there was still no excuse. Regardless of what Nick has done wrong, I was supposed to handle that situation differently.

“We’re all good,” Nick added, and I could tell he really had let it all go. “If anything, I owe
you
an apology.
Both
of you.”

I didn’t want him to do that. He had enough guilt on him already without adding to it. As far as I was concerned, we were square.

“Matt… I cost you a second shot at your film.” There was a grave look of disappointment that spread across his face. “There aren’t any words for that, no excuse I can give to rectify how bad I messed up.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to do this. The film is gonna happen. I’m getting creative with the angle, so it’ll happen. You didn’t cost me anything,” I assured him, hoping to lessen his burden.

“And I just want you to get better, man,” Luke cut in. “Anything that happened before today, before this moment, is the past. No apology necessary.”

Nick looked so relieved when he realized our relationships weren’t totaled. As mad as I was a few weeks ago, I could never turn my back on my brother; either one of them.

“You have some packing left to do?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, I finished it all last night. I’m ready when you guys are.” He had one bag sitting beside the door and when I stooped to grab it, Nick spoke again. “Hey… has uh… has anyone talked to Mel by any chance? Made sure she’s okay? Told her what I’m doing?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, trying to hide the concern in his eyes. Making strides towards sobriety had clearly caused him to reevaluate several areas of his life, including his failed marriage. It made sense that he’d realize Mel really was a good wife to him. She loved him almost to a fault. He could see that now, looked as though he genuinely regretted messing things up.

Luke and I looked at one another. “No, I don’t think so.”

That pained looked returned to Nick’s face.

“Do you
want
that?” Luke asked, shooting me a surprised glance. “I could uh… I could call her later for you,” he offered.

Nick was thoughtful for a moment and then shocked us both when he nodded. “Yeah… I’d do it myself, but I don’t think she wants to hear from me. Just tell her that…” His voice trailed off when he fell deep in thought. “Just tell her I’m sorry… for
everything
. Let her know I’m getting help.”

Luke nodded, agreeing to deliver Nick’s message. We were all silent after that. My thoughts went to the past, wondering how this all started, wondering how Nick ever got caught up in this lifestyle. We weren’t exposed to anything like this growing up, so there had to be something that triggered it.

Taking a seat on the couch, I checked the time, deciding that we had a few minutes before we’d have to leave. Now seemed like a good time to talk about this a little more. All our heads were clearer for one thing. I also didn’t want to wait until Nick was completely sober, forcing him to relive his mistakes of the past. To me, this was more of an appropriate time to address it.

“Can I ask you a question?” I spoke up.

Nick looked my way when I asked. “Anything.”

He wasn’t obligated to answer, but I hoped he would anyway. “When did this all start?”

There was a pause and during those few seconds, Nick leaned against the wall, lost in thought. “Remember when I tweaked my shoulder in college during that lacrosse match?” he asked.

I couldn’t have been more than fourteen at the time, but I remembered. “Yeah, you came down on it pretty hard.”

Nick gave a nod. “The doctor said I needed surgery, but I didn’t want to miss the rest of the season. Instead of having it treated properly, I worked it out harder to toughen up, then I went home and took pills to take care of the pain.” He paused and Luke and I listened. “I depended on them too much,” he admitted. “At first, it was to take the edge off, but… without even realizing what was happening, I kept taking them even after the pain was gone. I faked it, though, kept up the act long enough to get a few extra months’ worth of prescriptions. Once the doc refused to give me more, I turned to other sources. They didn’t always have Oxy on hand, which was what the doctor had me on, so I started buying up whatever was in stock. Sometimes it was weed, sometimes it was… sometimes it was harder stuff,” he admitted. “Whatever I could get my hands on.”

Twelve years. He’d been silently battling this for more than a decade. That hit me hard. I had no clue. Nick wasn’t a victim in this, nor was he pretending to be anymore, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel for him. I could only imagine the many times he wished he could stop, wished he could tell someone what was going on, wished he could ask for help. I could only imagine what it was like hiding this. And Mel… what she must’ve gone through with him.

“I wanna beat this,” Nick cut in. “I’m gonna complete this program and… I want to be a better man when it’s over.”

I believed in him. If he really stuck to his treatment plan and took this one day at a time, he could put this all behind him one day.

“I’ll give it everything I’ve got,” he promised.

Luke hugged him and then I grabbed him again, too. Today was the beginning for him and I was glad I’d be closer to home for a while to help him on the rough days that were sure to come.

“Ready?” I asked, taking his bag into my hand again.

There was a mixture of hope and uncertainty on Nick’s face, but then he looked at Luke and I, saw that we had his back. After a second of self-doubt, he took a step out into the hallway and answered.

“Ready.”

*****

Brooklyn

“Just got Nick settled. I’ll call you in a few,”
Matt texted.

I smiled, knowing I’d get to see him soon. When he finished up with his family, the plan was for him to spend the night here with me. In the few minutes he had between his plane landing and rushing to meet Luke at Nick’s apartment, he dropped the annulment paperwork off in my mailbox. Since then, I’d been to have my signature notarized right below his. So, all that was left to do was for Matt to formally submit them when he got back to California. Soon, our marriage would be no more; just like we discussed.

Like it never happened...

A stray thought, a
crazy
thought, pushed its way into my head and I dismissed it quickly, sealing another box of my belongings. Raj arranged for us all to ship most of our things to our South Africa residence a few days ago, but the boxes I filled now would be locked away upstairs in the attic. My parents were hell-bent on not renting the house out while I was away, but things happen. If they got in a tight spot and needed to get a tenant in here, all they’d have to worry about moving is my furniture. My smaller items would be taken care of, but I’d clearly put this part off until the last possible minute.

This was really happening.

It put things into perspective when I went for my bloodwork and vaccinations a few weeks ago. Before that, it all felt like a dream. It wasn’t, though. For an entire year, South Africa would be my home.

But I’m doing the right thing. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I’d be crazy to  pass it up.

Dallas announced himself with a jovial meow when he entered my bedroom. I ran my fingers beneath his chin, smiling at the way he fell onto his side, silently begging me to keep petting him. As if I didn’t already have enough going on, I was gonna miss him like crazy, too. My parents agreed to take care of him until I got home. He’d be in good hands, but that didn’t make leaving him easier.

“You’re making this hard for me, too, Dallas.”

He purred while I spoke to him.

“This will all be over before we know it,” I said, explaining myself. He opened his eyes for a fraction of a second and then shut them again before turning over onto his back so I could rub his stomach, too. “I mean… this is what I went to school for, so it wouldn’t make sense to pass this up, right? Everything I’ve done over the last six years has led up to this moment.” I was quiet for a few seconds as I reflected on how much of my time I dedicated to my education, preparing myself for the future. This move was my way in….