Mated & Blooded, A Blood Ties Novel, Book 1 (16 page)

“I am not sexually frustrated mother. I am
confused about if and with whom I might actually want to love but
you wouldn’t understand that since you’ve never been given a
choice”

Well maybe I am a little sexually frustrated
but if I am it’s because of my friggen wolf. The hussy hasn’t
stopped trying to get with Lucas since the run tonight. I know even
now she is throwing out pheromones that must be driving him
nuts.

Before I could change my mind, I focused my
efforts and projected myself out of my body. If I couldn’t talk to
Lucas, then I would talk to Nikoli. At least he always acted like
he believed I had a mind of my own. Besides, it would be the
perfect opportunity for me to spend time with him without my
wolf.

The moment my soul left my body I somehow
knew exactly where Nikoli was. I willed myself to go where he was
and like magic poof there he was. He was sitting at what appeared
to be an old antique oak writing desk. He looked deeply engrossed
in writing in what I think was some kind of journal. I wanted to
peer over his shoulder to see what he was writing, but I didn’t
want him to know that I was here yet so I decided to look around
the room first.

The room was very elegantly furnished even
for a master suite. It was huge and had the cleanest cream carpet
I’d even laid eyes on. I could see the open bathroom door and
noticed the old Edwardian ceramic bath that sat in the center of
the room. I also noticed a double vanity that had an assortment of
toiletries and lovely fluffy towels hanging from the rack. I felt a
small wave of almost jealously hit the pit of my stomach when I
looked at all the various lotions, creams and perfumes.

Turning from the bathroom, I eyed up the very
comfy looking bed. The comforter was turned down exposing cream
colored silk or maybe satin bed sheets. I felt my blood heating and
decided to turn and look at of the bedroom window. The sight below
me shocked me to my core. His room overlooked the most amazing
valley. Probably one of the most stunning views of the countryside
I had ever seen.

I turned back to look again at Nikoli. From
where I was standing near the window all I could see was his
straight powerful looking back. I watched as he dipped his quill
into ink again and continued to write in what I am now sure is his
journal. Then, I noticed that has body was rhythmically moving up
and down and had to wonder what was causing that since Nikoli
didn’t really breathe.

Like a kid in a candy store, I glided towards
the other side of the room so that I could see what he was doing. I
stayed to the shadows since I wanted to keep my essence out of his
line of sight. I found my heart hurting as I realized Nikoli was
silently weeping blood tears. I couldn’t believe Nikoli could be
moved to tears. Nikoli was strong, intelligent, thoughtful, clever,
perceptive, insightful and elegant. He was however not emotional or
sentimental. Nikoli made choices based on logic and rational facts
not emotions.

Seeing him silently cry had me perplexed and
was causing my stomach to cramp painfully. I tried to quickly move
behind him to see what had made him so sad. In my haste, I must
have gotten too close to Nikoli because he froze in place and
called to me both on the human and astral plain.

I watched him turn towards me with the proof
of his tears still wet on his face. I slid my hand out to wipe them
away and was pleasantly shocked to actually feel his skin under my
hand. I opened my mouth and managed to stutter out

“how?”

“You are like a ghost when you astral
project. Most would not be able to see of feel you. I however am
your beloved. I can see, feel and touch you in any form you choose”
he said. Then reached out and pulled me closer to him.

I was tired and was sitting at my desk
writing in my journal. I wanted to record every moment I spent with
my beloved. I knew that I was going to be a spectator in her life
and wanted to capture every moment so that I could relive them in
the years after she was gone.

I felt the air shift in the room and slowly
wiped my tears. I felt my beloved before I could see her. I knew
that she had to be astral projecting since there was absolutely no
scent of her in the room. I finished wiping the tears from my eyes
and took a hesitant look around.

She was just to my left and looked even more
beautiful than she did earlier today. I watched her eyes take in my
appearance and identify that I had been weeping. I watched her face
move through several emotions that left her feeling vulnerable.

Feeling her pain for my tears caused my heart
to flop. God, I really wanted to grab her and provide solace to her
soul. I watched her as she reached her hand towards my face. I
think she thought her hand would move through me since I was solid
and she was technically translucent. The shock of actually making
contact with my cheek stunned her into saying

“how?”

I opened my mouth with the intention of
giving her a simple explanation then sending her home to her
weremate. I kept telling myself that she deserved pups and a mate
that could bond with her fully. Our relationship could only ever be
one sided.

“You are like a ghost when you astral
project. Most would not be able to see of feel you. I however am
your beloved. I can see, feel and touch you in any form you
choose”

Then before I could think myself out of it I
pulled her into me and smashed my lips into hers. I was instantly
mesmerized by the feel of against me. She tasted of caramel and
apples and her lips were so warm against my much cooler flesh.
Actually touching her without her wolf attacking me was causing
little pleasurable tingles to radiate from where my lips pressed
against hers out across the rest of my body. I couldn’t help myself
and made a small almost silent moan. As quite as it was it still
must have been loud enough for Kalli to hear since her lips relaxed
and soften further while they slowly parted to allow my tongue
access to her mouth.

Instinctively I began to move us towards my
bed. I wanted to press her down on the mattress and explore every
inch of her body with my hands and mouth. The moment we connected
with the soft mattress, my conscience started to kick in.

I thought back to the conversation I had with
Marie just this afternoon. I had wanted to disagree with her and
push my claim but I knew Marie was right. I needed to do the right
thing for Kalli. As my beloved Kalli deserved to be allowed to make
her own decisions.

I was raised to think logically and see all
angles of a situation. I knew better than most that it was more
natural for Kalli to bond with her weremate than it was for her to
be with me. Kalli was and will always be a wolf. She belongs in a
pack with a mate that could provide real pups to her.

My life and my form doesn’t allow for blood
children. In fact since Kalli and I could never be more than half
blooded we wouldn’t even be able to sir a new vampire together. Our
limitations meant that Kalli would never have any of the true
benefits of being my beloved. While I would have all of them even
if she chooses to live with Lucas.

The truth was, I knew if I had the same
choice in front of me I would choose the wolf. The wolf represented
all the things any normal shewolf would want in life. She deserved
a living breathing mate that could touch her whenever he chose
without consequences. She ought to have a pack, no matter how small
that will surround her with love. And most importantly she should
be able to give birth to her own flesh and blood pups that she can
raise in her pack with love and acceptance.

Lucas will provide all of those things for
his mate; I could provide none of them for my beloved. I couldn’t
even complete the blooding and allow her full access to my soul and
emotions. If Kalli chose to stay with me she would be choosing a
very isolated life. As an unblooded beloved pair her life would
consist of nominal physical contact and the bare minimum of
emotional support from me.

I would do the best I could, but my natural
method of communication with my beloved is through the bond.
Without the bond, most things would be left unsaid and unfelt.
Thinking of these things gave me the strength I needed to slow down
and keep my physical desires in check. I knew that I wasn’t going
to allow this to continue much farther, but before I parted with my
beloved I wanted to know what it was that I was giving up, so I
tenderly deepened our kiss and slide my tongue fully into her
mouth.

Kalli must have appreciated the pressure of
our kiss and reveled in the feel of my tongue against hers since I
heard her chest rumble with something similar to a purr. The sound
instantly caused new surges of pleasure to ripple through my body.
I allowed my hands to explore her hair, back and waist. I used my
fingertips to apply a gentle massaging pressure everywhere they
roamed.

I found myself slowly lowering us both on the
mattress with the intention of exploring more of my beloveds body
when I felt her shake in what I think was anticipation. Just as I
lowered my hands towards the bottom of her shirt I heard something
break downstairs. Not wanting to lose contact with my beloved, I
pulled my face from her lips, but kept my body pressed into
hers.

I listened closely and could tell it was
Lidia moving about downstairs. Knowing that she was incapable of
doing any real harm, I turn back to my beloved and took her lips
back into mine. Then before I could help my beloved to stay longer
with me, I watched as she faded away.

I knew when she arrived tonight that it would
only be a matter of time before her body called her soul back. My
beloved is young and incapable of projecting for long periods of
time without being snapped back into her body. I just wasn’t ready
for our time to end. I knew that I was on borrowed time with my
beloved. Chance are, I would never have physical with my beloved
after tonight.

In fact, it was my intention to convince her
to mate and bond with Lucas. I believe she will listen to me and
agree that being his bonded mate is the best thing for her future.
He can provide the things she needs in life to be happy.

As her unblooded beloved my role should be
one as friend and confidant. What we did tonight shouldn’t have
happened. She needs to be faithful to Lucas and learn to love me
like a brother or uncle. I knew in my and heart this was the right
thing, but the pain was so palatable that in my frustration and
anger I slammed my fist onto the mattress and watched as the bed
and mattress snapped in half sending feathers flying
everywhere.

I made my way to the underground cave and
burst into the room that Logan was kept in. It was my intention to
kill him while he was still strung up in chains on the vampire’s
walls. I took in his rancid smell and felt bile slap at the back of
my throat. I knew that in moments I would come face to face with
him, so I shifted back to my human form.

He smelled of fear and raw sewage, I
involuntarily made a gagging noise. Logan heard the noise and
raised his eyes to mine. I watched as his face turned to a look of
what I could only call amused pleasure. Then he opened his mouth
and croaked out

“Lidia, my love I am so glad you escaped.
Please come over here honey and help me”

His words were like a slap to my face. How
dare he speak to me like he loved me? I had never been anything but
a tool in his life. He used me to father a child for him, to give
him prestige with my old pack members so that they would accept him
as their new alpha. He forced himself on me and used his alpha
abilities to keep me under his thumb. He killed my true mate and
forced me to live a life without love. He nearly convinced me to
kill my own child. I found myself getting angrier and bolder by the
second. I looked directly into his eyes and said

“You are a disgusting being, you repulse me.
Don’t you dare ever call me honey. I am nothing to you and you are
nothing to me. I know the truth and you can no longer compel me to
do anything"

Then I moved forward and slapped him as hard
as I could in his face. I watched his face change from a look of
amusement to pure hatred and anger. Then before I could even think
to move away from him, he snatched my arm out of the air and broke
it at the elbow like it was a twig. I tried to struggle against him
and free my arm, but he managed to pull me closer to him. Once I
was close enough he pressed his right hand into my throat
momentarily closing my airways. I started to see stars in front of
my eyes as I prepared to pass out.

Then, just before I was left unconscious he
slammed my now brutally broken arm into my own face causing me to
become more alert again. I could no nothing more to protect myself.
My body was shutting itself down to protect itself from the real
and imagined pain. I knew that I was going to become just more
collateral damage. He would tear my body limb from limb if it would
help him escape.

Once he had me where he wanted me, Logan
began to forcibly drive my hand and wrist between his and the
shackles that were keeping him a prisoner to the wall. I felt flesh
ripping from my hand as he continued to assert pressure on my hand
and the steel. Once he managed to force my hand and wrist in
enough, he used my arm like a crow bar to break the latch and open
the shackles.

I screamed over and over again in pain. I
sobbed, begged and pleaded for him to stop. He continued to use my
flesh and bones like they were inanimate tools. The pain was
unbearable it was worse than anything I’d ever felt before. Finally
I felt the steel claps that had been holding him to the wall crack
and release his left wrist. I was so relieved. In a moment of
stupidity I actually believed that now that he was free, he would
either release or kill me. But this was Logan, and I wasn’t getting
off that easily. Instead of releasing or killing me he grabbed my
other arm and snapped my forearm in half.