Mastering Multiple Position Sex (23 page)

Brava! Bravo!

As he leans forward into her, he can caress her breasts, hair, face, hips, shoulders, and neck. Gentle kisses at the top of her spine or behind the ear are lovely. He can massage her back or stroke her thighs and buttocks. She can reach back with her arms to caress him and, with a twist of her body and a tilt of her head, they can kiss. If there’s no more energy for another cycle of love-making, relax back into a classic spoon position. His arms become her pillow and duvet; her back becomes his blanket. She can reach over and behind him, to bring them closer.

Find a speaking level somewhere between a conversational tone and a whisper. Ask what your partner is feeling, continue to explore your bodies, and don’t be afraid to touch yourself. As post-coital, cuddle hormones flow through you, give yourselves over to the urge to hug, to doze, to chat, or to be perfectly still. You can turn toward each other to kiss or talk, or to repeat or initiate something from another chapter.

Let’s face it: When it comes to identifying the single most romantic position, we don’t always see eye-to-eye.

8
^th
Movement
Building an Erotic Ensemble: Achieving Blended Orgasms

As human sexuality has become more medicalized, we have seen the definition of what constitutes an orgasm limited by some formula that looks something like this: Body Part × Time under Stimulus = Orgasm. I was never good at that kind of math, which is why I support clients in having blended orgasms. Blended orgasms work like a game of “connect the dots” in which our erogenous zones are the dots. Traditionally, blended orgasms for women could be minimally a dual combination of clitoral and vaginal stimuli. But what if a woman can come from having her clitoris tickled and her elbow licked? In my world,
that
is a blended orgasm—one that involves an individual’s erogenous zones in a whole-body, “connect-the-spots” sexual response.

8
^th
Movement

POSITION 1

POSITION 2

This Chapter’s Positions and Their Degrees of Difficulty:

XXX
XX
  
POSITION 1
: Pretzel Sticks

XX
XXX
  
POSITION 2
: Transition

XXX
XX
  
POSITION 3
: Twist and Shout

In “Getting Started,” you learned where your particular erogenous zones are (and remember, they will change over time). In the
1st movement
, you learned where your partner’s are. This chapter will put you in positions that will help you and your partner view and touch several time-honored erogenous zones that excite many people, in addition to a few areas on and in your body that you might find exciting as well. The key is that you communicate with your partner about which ones turn you on.

Setting the Stage

Because this chapter relies a great deal on touching and stimulating the body, cleanliness is imperative. Consider taking a sensual bath or shower, accompanied by some dirty talk or sexy whispers, which will add to the outercourse. Also, because the feet and hands get involved, a manicure and pedicure—professional or not—would be in order.

To help you create different types of touch—and each body part has its own comfort zone of acceptable touches—conduct a sexual scavenger hunt around your home and see what you can find. Perhaps a piece of silk, satin, or velvet. A feather or, if you are allergic, something just as soft and provocative. A bowl of ice cubes or ice that you have frozen in various shapes (popsicles are off-limits because of the sugar they might introduce into the vagina, resulting in a possible yeast infection). There are also stainless steel toys you can warm up in water. You could have massage oils on hand with various natural essences. Add to the list with your favorite music, a blindfold, and some old neckties for light bondage or to brush over your partner’s body. Reacquaint yourself with your partner’s erogenous zones and devise various ways to stimulate them. And if you don’t remember them all, ask.

Warm-Up

The following activities are repeated so that both sexes get to enjoy similar treatments. To ensure that the man is as hard as possible and ready to penetrate her, she will please him prior to the first position.

While she lies on her stomach, pick an object and move it over her body, making sure not to miss any of her erogenous zones. Perhaps a feather across her ass, an ice cube in her vagina, her feet in your mouth.

Paint her erogenous zones with melted chocolate or a favorite jam that you have submerged in the jar in warm water. Rub her with essential oils, trace a rose down her back and between her legs. When you have stimulated her backside long enough, she rolls over, and invites you to explore her front in the same way. Maybe she is blindfolded—with her permission, of course—to heighten her other senses. Removing or restricting one of the senses can be erotic, but it can also be frightening, so make a point of asking before you do. Moreover, whenever you experiment beyond the realm of vanilla sex, offer a safe word—a word that you would probably not use during sex—that means STOP as soon as it is uttered. Once you establish that level of trust, the evening’s events can feel all the more erotic.

When her erogenous zones have been explored and stimulated, and when both parties agree that it is time to move on, then they can switch: She can explore his back and front, from top to bottom, trying to incorporate as many of the previous lessons as possible. If you find yourself at a loss and needing ideas for how to explore and bring pleasure to his body, invest in some sex dice (see Resources on
page 189
). By rolling for a body part on one and for a sexual activity on the other, you’ve got endless ways to get the sparks going.

In the end, he will be on his back, ready for the next position, and both should be wet from saliva, melting ice, or their own bodily fluids—the latter being the penultimate goal!

Tantalizing Tidbit: Hot Wax

Wax is commonly used on surfboards or as a hair removal aid, but it also comes up in questions from clients eager to try out something new without going too far. So, without writing a treatise on hot wax, let me give you a few tips. First, to foil any allergic reactions, look for odorless, colorless candles. Next, the temperature of the wax when it hits the skin will depend on how high the candle is held: Wax dripped onto his back from 6 inches (15 cm) will feel hotter than if it is dripped from 6 feet (1.8 m). To gauge the temperature, drip some wax onto the top of your foot from various heights. Finally, avoid parts of your body that you would never want to have wax in, such as the ears and eyes. This can be a safe way to explore the realms of light pain and heavy pleasure; just be mindful of the
safe
part. Be careful when you play with wax and fire or somebody could get burned.

“Try to generate a mixture of warm and cold. You could lick her skin (make your initials) and then blow on it for a cool sensation.”

POSITION 1:
Pretzel Sticks

From a distance, this may look simply like woman on top, but there are a few “twists” that earn this position its name and erotic characteristics. The thrusts are slow and shallow, and by now you know what that means: It appeals to the first third of her vagina. It also leaves room for ample leg touches, clitoral stimulation, and a luxurious pace that allows both parties to focus on everything that’s going on.

Straddle him, so that he can enter you while you’re on top. Lean forward, as your feet go back toward his and inside his legs. Press your breasts into his chest, or, if you want him to tongue them, prop yourself on your forearms to allow ease of access. Your back is now exposed, so tell him where you want his hands to go. The goal is to grace as many of your erogenous zones as possible.

Place your ankles on top of hers, creating the twisting of pretzel sticks. Following her directions, use your hands to explore her body as your mouths lock in a passionate embrace. The key here is to maintain the tension on the inside of her legs. A good visual, if you had a mirror above you, is that your legs—from your waist to your feet—will look like a heart.