MasonsRule-ARe (18 page)

"I'm not a job, Mason. It's not as if I asked to get paid or something."

She felt his muscles go rigid in his entire body.
 

"You and I seem to have an ongoing communication problem. If I thought you were up to it right now, I'd turn you over my knee and whip your ass until you understood what I meant."

"I understood just fine." She was trying to stay calm but her nerves were on edge with the guilt eating her alive. “We had to get things over with and now I’m just a job. Because of a contract.”

"A contract you eagerly signed. So why are you suddenly hung up on it now?"

She shrugged. His irritation changed her mind. Sharing was a bad idea.
 

"Rebecca." The stern warning of his voice rumbled across her skin. He twisted her in his arms and pushed her against the floor to ceiling glass. "Look at me."

She slowly tilted her head back until their eyes met. To her surprise it wasn't anger she saw.
 

"Babe, you've got to tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours. A big part of BDSM is that brain you’re hiding. If you can't trust me with what troubles you, then mistakes will be made and I find that unacceptable."

"You are a stubborn man. Anyone ever tell you that?"

His expression didn't change.

"I'm certain the same has been said about you. Now pretend you've got your big girl panties on and just spit it out."

"It's nothing about this.” She waved her hands between them. “Or us. Bad stuff happens and sometimes it sticks for a long time."

"Something bad happened to you?"

Rebecca shook her head. She could give him a little. "Not me. My sister."

Mason lifted his hand and caressed her right temple and cheek. "I didn't know you had a sister. But family is complex and not always the easiest thing to deal with. What happened to her?"

"I don't have a sister anymore. She died a long time ago."

His fingers stilled at her jaw. "I'm sorry."
 

Those two little words from the big bad Dom sounded more sincere than any she ever heard. The pain visible in his eyes made her believe for a second that maybe he would understand.

"She didn't just die. She was murdered in an alley. Cops called it a robbery gone bad."

"Babe." Mason wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her face against his bare chest.
 

"It was a long time ago," she whispered.

"Still. You were right. Shit like that stays with you forever."

"I wish I could forget. But I can't."

He pulled back and his fingers grasped her chin gently, lifting her face until their eyes met again. "It's okay to feel that way. It's also okay to remember. Bad stuff happens and we can't always ignore it. Trust me I know."

"But this. This was different. I could have saved her."

Mason shook his head. "If someone else killed her, that's on them not you. Don't put that shit on yourself. It's not right. Did the cops catch the guy?"

She nodded. “They arrested someone the next day. He tried to use her credit card and someone called in suspicious activity."

"Good. That helps. We all need closure for crap like that."

Rebecca scrunched her face and studied him. He sounded funny when he said that. Like he REALLY knew exactly what she talked about.
 

"I don't know if I'll ever have closure," she said. "It really was my fault." She took a deep breath and started to explain. "She called me that night. She was at a club and needed a ride home. She had a fight with her—her umm—boyfriend. But I was too afraid to sneak out of the house to get her. Our parents were really strict and I couldn’t afford to get into any more trouble. Then someone killed her because I was too afraid to break curfew and she made me promise not to tell Mom and Dad.”

Mason’s expression didn’t change. If the bomb she just dropped affected him, he didn’t show it. However, her insides were shaking and her stomach churned.
 

“It’s my fault,” she said again.

“Rebecca,” he said, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders with a tight squeeze. “I don’t know how long you’ve tortured yourself with that bullshit. But that’s what it is. Bullshit. You were a kid and trying hard to be good. It wasn’t realistic for you to assume anything horrible would happen.”

“But—”

“No.” His hands tightened on her shoulders, focusing her attention on him. “There may have been some awful circumstances at play. But you did not kill your sister. The man who pulled the trigger is the guilty one. Focus on that.”

Her stomach heaved as his words brought up the images she kept hidden in her closet of the crime scene. Her sister lying on the ground in a dirty alley, surrounded by trash. Her clothes soaked in blood from the gunshot wound to her chest.
 

Gunshot.

Someone shot her.

“Wait.” She looked into Mason’s eyes. “Did I say she was shot?”

His facial expression again didn’t change. But there. She could swear she saw a flicker.
 

“No, Rebecca, you did not. I just assumed. I think statistically the chances of being shot by a gun are substantially higher than being stabbed or beaten to death.”

She shuddered.
 

“I’m sorry, babe. But how she died isn’t nearly as important as who did it. And that would be the man that pulled the trigger. Not the young girl who wanted to be good and obey her parents. You don’t deserve that guilt.”

“I’m afraid my parents disagree with you.”

Chapter Sixteen

Mason felt like she just kicked him in the nuts. For a second he couldn’t breathe.
 

He knew his Rebecca was hiding something from him, but the pain coming from her now might as well have been his own.
 

His.
Fuck.

They were two screwed up individuals and now they were together. He wanted to help her. Definitely beyond the terms outlined in their contract. How that happened didn't really matter. And he wasn't the kind of man who walked away from something like that. Not that the thought of leaving her occurred to him. He spent a hell of a lot more time thinking about being with her, inside her and holding her than anything else.

"I hate to even ask, but I need to know what the hell that means." He tried to keep the hard edge of his anger out of his voice and probably failed. That a parent would blame a child was one of the things he could never ever tolerate. He dedicated his adult life to the protection of his father's many illegitimate children. Children he didn't know other than as files in his locked safe, but they were bound by blood to him.

Parents who didn't live up to their responsibilities were his cause. He protected those children at all costs and if necessary found a way to punish the parents. Pain or not. Legal or not. He did not care. Those children needed someone who would do whatever it took. That's what he secretly did for the siblings he would never know.

At all costs.

When Rebecca turned away from him as though too afraid to meet his eyes, he squeezed her shoulders to the point of pain it took to get and hold her attention. She winced and he held steady. "I'm not kidding here, Rebecca. I need the details and I need them now."

Unshed tears shone in her eyes. They were twisting his gut in two different directions but he held steady. They both needed this.

"Now, babe. Just spit it out and get it over with. Then I'll deal with it."

"There's nothing to deal with. My mother blamed me right from the start. When the police showed up at our doorstep the next morning to tell us she was dead my mother had a meltdown."

"As she should when her child has died. Go on." He was trying to keep calm and failing miserably. She hadn't even said the words and the pain in his head was already exploding.
 

Still. He had to hear it.

"When the police asked about the last time any of us spoke to her I told them. They didn't say much other than thanks for letting them know. But the rage my mother turned on me the moment they closed the door behind them cut clear to the bone. I never saw her like that. Sure, she'd get angry and I got in my fair share of trouble but nothing in the world prepared me for the vile words spoken that night."

Her body shook as she talked and his heart broke for her. He and his brothers had seen their fair share of pain. But no one had ever accused them of killing someone. Tucker's mother shut down after the death of their father. She wouldn't talk to anyone and that slowly broke him until he retreated into his own world, and practically stayed there until Maggie came into his life. Levi's mother killed herself. They all felt that blow. Shortly thereafter, he joined the Marines and walked away.

Only he remained.

His own mother faked her way through life. There was no love, but at least she used structure and money to keep them all together...for a while.

"What did she say, baby?" He needed to know exactly what she'd been through, although he hoped she didn't realize yet that telling him would cause him to take action. Parents who don't protect their children can never be forgiven.

Rebecca took a deep breath and hesitated. It was clear she neither wanted to remember the words or say them.

"I promise I will never ask again. I just have to know."

"She told me I was a selfish child who never cared about anyone." A lone tear escaped from her right eye and he bent forward to kiss it away as if he could wipe the pain with it. "She told me I was responsible and if not for me Cyndi would still be alive. She said it should have been me."

He had a feeling she was softening the blow. "Where was your father when this was happening?"

"Standing in the doorway watching. Not speaking. In fact, he rarely spoke after that. He started drinking. Drinking so heavy, he couldn't function. Right up to the day he died."

Mason's blood boiled as he pictured a younger Rebecca devastated by the loss of a sister she obviously loved and the rest of her world falling apart around her.

"I'm so sorry, baby. No parent should ever treat a child that way."

She tried to push at his chest but he gave no quarter. "Don't you see," she said. "They were right."

Anger sliced through the red haze in Mason's vision. "Fuck that, babe. They were NOT right. If you don’t listen to anything else I tell you, you will take this in. Remember it. Make it your gospel.
You are not responsible for the death of your sister
. That is on the man who pulled the trigger. Fuck what your mother said and fuck what you father failed to say. Grief does crazy shit to people. I get that. But there is never an excuse to hurt a child and that is what they did to you.”

The pain in his head was on overdrive now. His body was going to shut down if he wasn’t careful. “You said your father died. Where is your mother?” He or Knight would be having a talk with her real soon.

Rebecca shrugged. “She’s gone. After my sister’s killer was arrested, she left. I don’t think she could stand being around me. My father was devastated and he basically checked out soon after.”

Mason pulled her close and tucked her head into his chest. He couldn’t bear the pain slicing through her and straight into his head. She had been a young girl in need of love more than ever and they abandoned her.
 

In many ways she reminded him of Nina. He caught her in a weak moment and used that to get the truth. Otherwise she’d be just like his sister. Stubborn and uncommunicative. She too needed a strong hand and didn’t know it. Like Rebecca, her childhood ended abruptly in disaster. She was barely eighteen when they found her covered in blood…

They were all surrounded by death. And it haunted them.

His sister refused to accept his help, but no way in hell he’d allow Rebecca to shut him out. He wanted to take this pain from her. No he
needed
to take it. And he would.

As for Nina… Gabe kept a close watch on her. It had not escaped Mason’s notice his friend always showed when Nina was in need. So far, Nina had not let him in, but that didn’t seem to faze Gabe. The man showed no signs of backing down. He may not fully understand what he was getting into, but his iron will and stubborn streak rivaled the woman in question. But she had to let him in. And letting him in meant another person had to learn the whole truth. Something Mason wasn’t all too comfortable with.
 

The carefully crafted charade Mason built for them all had already cracked. Soon enough and with enough poking it could all come crashing down and someone would get hurt.
 

Knight had been right of course. This time with Rebecca had been an indulgence he couldn’t afford. But something about her wouldn’t let him go. Almost as if she was a part of something bigger. And whatever that was, he had to protect her. She needed him. How so much guilt got trapped inside one small woman befuddled him. It made him angrier than ever.
 

They made an agreement and, as far as he was concerned, as long as that agreement stood, he was responsible for one hundred percent of her happiness. Day and night.