Marriage, a History (69 page)

14
Lystra,
Searching the Heart,
pp. 235-36.

15
Taylor Stoehr,
Free Love in America: A Documentary History
(New York: AMS Press, 1979), p. 270.

16
Tosh,
A Man’s Place,
pp. 161, 168 (see chap. 10, n. 3); Maeve Doggett,
Marriage, Wife-Beating and the Law in Victorian England
(Columbia: University of South Carolina Press, 1993), p. 144.

17
Carroll Smith-Rosenberg, “Beauty, the Beast, and the Militant Woman: A Case Study in Sex Roles and Social Stress in Jacksonian America,”
American Quarterly
23 (1971). On how adherents to the doctrine of true womanhood could become converts to feminism, see Nancy Cott,
The Bonds of Womanhood: “Woman’s Sphere” in New England
(New Haven: Yale University Press, 1977).

18
Nancy Woloch,
Women and the American Experience
(New York: McGraw-Hill, 1994), vol. 2.

19
Kirk Jeffrey, “Marriage, Career, and Feminine Ideology in Nineteenth Century America,”
Feminist Studies
2 (1975), p. 123.

20
Phillips,
Putting Asunder;
Briggs,
Social History;
Ehmer, “Marriage.”

21
Steven Ruggles,
Prolonged Connections: The Rise of the Extended Family in Nineteenth-Century England and America
(Madison: University of Wisconsin Press, 1987). Furthermore, among the highest levels of the bourgeoisie, there was a temporary resurgence of economic marriage. Because raising capital still depended on family connections, marriages between cousins became as desirable to expanding business entrepreneurs as they had been to members of the aristocracy and royalty in earlier centuries. Marriages with kin were common among coal and iron industrialists in the Rhineland and English Midlands, financiers and merchants in Belgium, France, Germany, and Britain, and the rural bourgeoisie in Italy. Over the course of the nineteenth century there was actually a temporary increase in the proportion of marriages that took place between first cousins, with the greatest number of such marriages occurring between 1880 and 1920. David Sabean, “Aesthetic of Marriage Alliance: Class Codes and Endogamous Marriage in the Nineteenth-Century Propertied Classes,” in Richard Wall, Tamara Hareven, and Josef Ehmer, eds.,
Family History Revisited: Comparative Perspectives
(Newark: University of Delaware Press, 2001); Ehmer, “Marriage.” For similar trends slightly down the social scale, see David Sabean,
Property, Production, and Family in Neckarhausen, 1700-1870
(Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge University Press, 1990).

22
Http://65.66.134.201/cgi-bin/webster/webster.exe?search_fortexts_web1828=Love
.

23
Harvey Graff,
Conflicting Paths: Growing Up in America
(Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 1995), p. 219.

24
Carroll Smith-Rosenberg,
Disorderly Conduct: Visions of Gender in Victorian America
(New York: Oxford University Press, 1985), pp. 35-36, 53-89; D’Emilio and Freedman,
Intimate Matters,
pp. 125-27 (see chap. 10, n. 6); Lilian Faderman,
Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present
(New York: William Morrow, 1981).

25
Anthony Rotundo, “Romantic Friendship: Male Intimacy and Middle-Class Youth in the Northern United States, 1800-1900,”
Journal of Social History
23 (Fall 1989); Rotundo,
American Manhood.
On the long history of intense male bonds prior to this time, see Alan Bray,
The Friend
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2003).

26
D’Emilio and Freeman,
Intimate Matters,
pp. 127-29; Joathan Katz,
The Invention of Homosexuality
(New York: Plume, 1996); Martin Duberman, Martha Vicinus, and George Chauncey, Jr., eds.,
Hidden from History
(New York: Meridian, 1990); Peter Boag,
Same-Sex Affairs, Constructing and Controlling Homosexuality in the Pacific Northwest
(Berkeley: University of California Press, 2003).

27
Graham Robb,
Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century
(New York: Norton, 2003), p. 107. See also Jonathon Katz, ed.,
Gay American History: Lesbians and Gay Men in the USA
(New York: Crowell, 1976); John Ibson,
Picturing Men: A Century of Male Relationships in Everyday American Photography
(Washington: Smithsonian Institution, 2002) and David Deitcher,
Dear Friends: American Photographs of Men Together
(New York: Harry Abrams, 2001).

28
Sulloway,
Jane Austen,
p. 17 (chap. 9, n. 24).

29
Jo Freeman, “The Legal Basis of the Sexual Caste System,”
Valparaiso University Law Review
5 (1971), p. 210; Norma Basch,
In the Eyes of the Law: Women, Marriage and Property in Nineteenth-Century New York
(Ithaca, N.Y.: Cornell University Press, 1982).

30
Katharine Rogers,
The Troublesome Helpmate: A History of Misogyny in Literature,
(Seattle: University of Washington Press, 1966), pp. 190, 211 (emphasis added).

31
Michael Grossberg, “Who Gets the Child? Custody, Guardianship, and the Rise of a Judicial Patriarchy in Nineteenth-Century America,”
Feminist Studies
9 (1983), pp. 247, 250.

32
Debra Viles, “Disabilities of Marriage,”
Michigan Historical Review
28 (2001); Hartog,
Man and Wife in America;
Basch,
In the Eyes of the Law;
Jo Freeman, “The Legal Revolution,” in Freeman, ed.,
Women: A Feminist Perspective
(Mountain View, Calif.: Mayfield, 1989).

33
Nancy Cott,
Public Vows: A History of Marriage and the Nation
(Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard University Press, 2000), p. 162.

34
Quoted in Davidoff,
Family Fortunes,
p. 183 (see chap. 8, n. 1).

35
William Kristol,
“
Women’s Liberation: The Relevance of Tocqueville,
”
in Ken Masugi, ed.,
Interpreting Tocqueville’s
Democracy in America (Savage, Maryland: Rowman & Littlefield, 1999), p. 491.

36
Francis J. Grund,
Aristocracy in America
(Gloucester, Mass.: Peter Smith, 1968 [1840]), p. 40.

37
Michael Roper and John Tosh, “Introduction,” in Roper and Tosh, eds.,
Manful Assertions: Masculinities in Britain Since 1800
(London: Routledge, 1991).

38
Anya Jabour,
Marriage in the Early Republic: Elizabeth and William Wirt and the Companionate Ideal
(Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1998); Rotundo,
American Manhood,
p. 165; Orvar Lofgren, “Family and Household: Images and Realities,” in Robert McC. Netting, Richard Wilk, and Eric Arnould, eds.,
Households: Comparative and Historical Studies of the Domestic Group
(Berkeley: University of California Press, 1984), p. 462.

39
Mary Ryan, “Femininity and Capitalism in Antebellum America,” in Zillah Eisenstein, ed.,
Capitalist Patriarchy and the Case for Socialist Feminism,
(New York: Monthly Review, 1979), p. 158; Beecher quoted in Lendol Calder,
Financing the American Dream: A Cultural History of Consumer Credit
(Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1999) p. 97. On women’s inability to recognize the love that men performed in daily life, see Francesca Cancian, “The Feminization of Love,”
Signs
11 (1986).

40
“Essay on Marriage,”
Universalist and Ladies’ Repository
(1834), p. 371.

41
Woloch,
Women and the American Experience,
vol. 1, p. 104.

42
Tosh,
A Man’s Place,
p. 173; Howard Chudacoff,
The Age of the Bachelor: Creating an American Subculture
(Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1999).

43
David G. Pugh,
Sons of Liberty: The Masculine Mind in Nineteenth-Century America,
(Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press, 1983), p. 88; Peter Gabriel Filene,
Him/Her/Self
(New York: New American Library, 1974), p. 83; John Demos, “The American Family in Past Time,”
American Scholar,
43 (1974); Charles Rosenberg, “Sexuality, Class and Role in Nineteenth-Century America,”
American Quarterly
25 (1973), p. 139; John Haller and Robin Haller,
The Physician and Sexuality in Victorian America
(Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1974), p. 203; G. J. Barker-Benfield,
The Horrors of the Half-Known Life: Male Attitudes Toward Women and Sexuality in Nineteenth-Century America
(New York: Harper & Row, 1976), p. 159; Rotundo,
American Manhood,
p. 125; D’Emilio and Freedman,
Intimate Matters,
pp. 110, 180. For an argument that many couples overcame their inhibitions and had good sex lives, see Carl Degler, “What Ought to Be and What Was: Women’s Sexuality in the Nineteenth Century,”
American Historical Review
79 (1974).

44
D’Emilio and Freedman,
Intimate Matters,
p. 179; Tosh,
A Man’s Place,
p. 68.

45
D’Emilio and Freedman,
Intimate Matters,
pp. 174-78.

46
Ibid., p. 110.

47
Rachel Maines,
The Technology of Orgasm
(Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press, 1999).

48
Michel Foucault,
The History of Sexuality
(New York: Vintage, 1988); Paul Rabinow, ed.,
The Foucault Reader
(New York: Pantheon, 1984); Steven Marcus,
The Other Victorians: A Study of Sexuality and Pornography in Mid-Nineteenth-Century England
(New York: New American Library, 1974).

49
The information and quotations in this and the following paragraphs are drawn from Tosh,
A Man’s Place,
pp. 68-71, 98, 100.

50
Lesley Hall,
Hidden Anxieties: Male Sexuality 1900-1950
(Oxford, U.K.: Polity Press, 1991), pp. 10, 43-49, 100-06.

51
Joanne Meyerowitz,
Women Adrift: Independent Women Wage Earners in Chicago, 1880-1930
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1988); Lewis Ehrenberg,
Steppin’ Out: New York City Nightlife and the Transformation of American Culture, 1890-1930
(Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press, 1981); Kathy Peiss,
Cheap Amusements: Working Women and Leisure in Turn-of-the-Century New York
(Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1989); Randy McBee,
Dance Hall Days: Intimacy and Leisure Among Working-Class Immigrants in the United States
(New York: New York University Press, 2000); Kathy Peiss, “ ‘Charity Girls’ and City Pleasures: Historical Notes on Working-Class Sexuality,” in Christina Simmons and Kathy Peiss, eds.,
Passion and Power: Sexuality in History
(Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1989); Nancy Cott,
The Grounding of Modern Feminism
(New Haven: Yale University Press, 1987); Barbara Melosh, ed.,
Gender and American History Since 1890
(New York: Routledge, 1993).

52
Jane Hunter,
How Young Ladies Became Girls: The Victorian Origins of American Girlhood
(New Haven: Yale University Press, 2002); Filene,
Him/Her/Self.

53
Andrea Tone,
Devices and Desires: A History of Contraception in America
(New York: Hill & Wang, 2000).

54
Yalom,
History of the Wife
(see chap. 1, n. 16); Jane Lewis,
The End of Marriage? Individualism and Intimate Relations
(Northampton, Mass.: Edward Elgar, 2001).

55
Ginger Frost, “A Shock to Marriage? The Clitheroe Case and the Victorians,” in George Robb and Nancy Erber, eds.,
Disorder in the Court: Trials and Sexual Conflict at the Turn of the Century
(New York: New York University Press, 1999).

56
Loc sit;
Lesley Hall,
Sex, Gender and Social Change in Britain Since 1880
(London: Macmillan, 2000), p. 58.

57
Mary Ann Glendon,
The Transformation of Family Law
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1989).

58
For this and the next paragraph, see Collins,
America’s Women.

59
James Weir, Jr., “The Effect of Female Suffrage on Posterity,”
American Naturalist
29 (1895), p. 825. Other quotes in this and the next paragraph from Katharine Rogers,
The Troublesome Helpmate: A History of Misogyny in Literature
(Seattle: University of Washington Press, 1966), pp. 214, 221.

1
This poem was translated for me and presented as a parting gift by members of a history class I taught at the Kobe University of Commerce. There are many other translations of Yosano’s poetry available in English. See Laurel Rodd, “Yosano Akiko and the Taisho Debate over the ‘New Woman,’ ” in Gail Bernstein, ed.,
Recreating Japanese Women, 1600-1945
(Berkeley: University of California Press, 1991), p. 180.

2
Edith Hurwitz, “The International Sisterhood,” in Bridenthal et al.,
Becoming Visible
(see chap. 3, n. 39).

3
Daniel Scott Smith, “The Dating of the American Sexual Revolution,” in Michael Gordon, ed.,
The American Family in Social-Historical Perspective
(New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1978); William Leuchtenburg,
The Perils of Prosperity
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1993), p. 171.

4
Birgitte Soland,
Becoming Modern:Young Women and the Reconstruction of Womanhood in the 1920s
(Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2000); June Hahner,
Emancipating the Female Sex: The Struggle for Women’s Rights in Brazil
(Durham, N.C.: Duke University Press, 1990); Robert Tignor et al.,
Worlds Together, Worlds Apart
(New York: W. W. Norton, 2002); Gisela Block,
Women in European History
(Oxford, U.K.: Blackwell Publishers, 2002); Miriam Silverberg, “The Modern Girl as Militant,” in Bernstein, ed.,
Recreating Japanese Women.
See also James McGovern, “The American Woman’s Pre-World War I Freedom in Manners and Morals,”
Journal of American History
55 (1968).