Marks on My Skin (Love & Ink #1) (37 page)

“Yeah,” she answered, barely glancing at me. My heart sank but I forced a smile to my lips. She’d been through so much and I was sure my presence wasn’t helping any. I grabbed both of our suitcases and headed for the door, my brother following behind. The cab I’d called for us waited just outside my building when we reached the lobby. I tossed our bags in the trunk and climbed in the back of the cab next to her. She slid her hands into her lap and kept her eyes forward the whole drive.

“So, how long will you be in London?” She spoke up when we were just a few blocks away, filling the unbearable silence.

“A few months.” I told her.

The car pulled up in front of Departures and we piled out of the cab. Shayne grabbed her bag as I set it on the curb and insisted she could take it despite the signs of exhaustion that lined her features. I glanced back at her a few times and caught the slight teeter in her step, but she slowed and straightened her posture, refusing to ask for help. We made it through security, then checked our tickets. My gate was in another terminal but I still had time before my flight started boarding, and admittedly, I wasn’t ready to part ways with her just yet.

“I’ll walk ya two ta yer gate.” I said. Liam nodded at me, but Shayne kept her eyes forward, avoiding me at all costs. It had felt so good to hold her in my arms earlier, to feel her warmth and solidness against me, and just for a moment I had hope for us. Given her behavior since, however, I was pretty sure my first suspicions were much closer to the truth.

We reached their gate ten minutes prior to boarding and from the looks of the plane being prepped outside the window, it wasn’t a very large flight. Liam settled himself into a thinly padded seat and let out a relieved groan, but Shayne continued toward the window to watch the crew finish prepping the plane for their flight. I thought to go over to her, but instead settled into a seat across from my brother.

Liam appraised me with a grunt then glanced in Shayne’s direction. “Ya should go talk ta her.”

“What?”

“Did one of those arseholes knock ya in the skull a little hard? I said go talk ta her.”

“Ya’ve seen how she’s been actin’ towards me. I’m the last person she wants ta talk ta.”

Liam narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head as if I’d just tried to convince him the world was flat.

“Do ya have any idea how much it broke her heart ta see ya go? She really liked ya. I got on her about what she did at the pub here, but I knew better. Ian was just a filler fer ya…so was that guy at the pub. I’ve liked Shayne for a long time, and I thought after ya left, maybe she’d finally see me in another light. But she still had ya on her mind. She acted different after ya left, like she was doing everything possible to forget ya. But ya see where that got her.”

I just wanted to forget
.

I thought about her words.
What was she trying to forget? Her mother? Me? Both?

“And given what ya told me last night, I doubt that contract was the only reason ya finally manned up ta Kendall.” My brother pulled me back from my thoughts, lifting one brow as he waited. My expression must have said enough, because he slouched back against the seat with a satisfied smirk. “Thought so.”

Shayne leaned close to the glass so that her forehead was almost touching it. Her eyes stared intently at the crew outside, though she didn’t see them. Those normally radiant brown eyes were dull and tired, but beneath that, there was a sadness to them. A shameful sadness that seemed to envelope her.

“I don’t even know what ta say ta her.” I admitted quietly. “I fecked up.”

“Well I’m glad yer admittin’ it, but that’s not the point, now is it? Neither one of ya arseholes are perfect, that’s quite obvious. But what was it ya were tellin’ me ta tell her yesterday? She’s amazing, even if she can’t see it sometimes? That ya don’t think any less of her? Maybe start there, that doesn’t seem like a bad start.”

I weighed his words, looking from Shayne and back to him. Annoyed, Liam grunted at me and cocked his head in her direction. “Go, idjit.”

I sighed, then grudgingly pulled myself out of my seat. What if he was wrong? Liam wasn’t always the most perceptive guy. It wasn’t really his fault though. Growing up, he was too busy trying to keep order between us after our parents’ death. He often misread people, especially women. Still, if there was a chance for me and Shayne—maybe not now, but someday—I wanted to know.

I came up beside her as an announcement was made that her flight would start boarding momentarily and her eyes refocused on me. She forced another smile. “Almost time to go, I guess.”

I nodded, took a step closer to her, and slid her hand into mine. She looked down at my hand, pulling her lips into a straight line, as uncertainty registered in her eyes.

“Kieran?”

“Shayne…” I frowned, staring at the floor. Why was it so hard to put what you felt for someone like her into words? It wasn’t complicated or difficult to understand, but we made it complicated. We confused ourselves, fighting it or denying it because maybe the timing wasn’t perfect. Or maybe because we were just scared. Who knew why humans made everything so complicated? I only had a matter of minutes before she was gone once more. No time at all, so best to just say it and hope for the best, I supposed.

“You were saying?” Shayne tilted her head at me when I didn’t speak, a glint of light flickering in her eyes.

“I was saying that I like you, Shayne, and nothing that happened yesterday, or the day before, or any time before will change that.”

She blinked, her eyebrows lifting in surprise, but didn’t say anything.

“I was wrong when I left and ya should know that. I knew it, even as I made my choice, but I can’t take it back. I should have listened ta ya. I know ya’ve got ta go now, and so do I. But maybe when I get back we can start over and give this a real go.”

“Kier—”

I stopped her, not wanting to hear the rejection. Not, at least, until I got everything out. “I know we both said we were just having fun then, but you know as well as I do that was never true. Ya mean more to me than that.”

Doubt lingered in her gaze. Whether she was doubting me or herself I didn’t know. She stepped back, pulling her hand away.

“Now seating zones three and four.” Someone announced over the speakers and she looked down at her ticket.

“I should go. That’s me.” She said, holding up her ticket. I nodded, and stepped out of her way, but wasn’t ready to resign myself to the loss just yet.

“Shayne, wait.” I called after her. She looked up from the flight attendant scanning her ticket and I grabbed her around the waist, kissing before I lost my nerve. Shayne put a hand on my chest but I growled in protest and pressed harder against her lips. I needed to make her see they weren’t just words. I wanted her. The hand resting on my chest curled into the fabric of my shirt and her mouth moved with mine, no longer fighting it.

Behind us, someone let out an annoyed, rattling cough, letting us know we were holding up the line of passengers waiting to board. Hesitantly, I pulled back and pressed my forehead against hers, completely breathless. I had to go now, and so did she. Everything else was up to fate. I cupped her face with one hand, trying to catch my breath.

“Ya don’t need ta answer me now. I know ya’ve got so much else ta deal with…but I’m goin’ ta come back, and when I do, I want ta be with ya.”

“Come on, man! Get the fuck out of the way. I’ve got places to go!” I glared over my shoulder at the stuffy businessman that kept checking his watch, but when I turned back to Shayne she was laughing.

“I really should go now.” She smiled at me, this time a real smile. “I’ll see you later, Kieran.” She hugged me—much to the annoyance of the businessman— then went down the jet bridge, glancing back at me one last time before she disappeared around the corner. I stood there a moment longer, smiling to myself. Even if she didn’t give me an answer, she’d kissed me back. That had to count for something, right?

Someone elbowed me hard in the side, and I spun around, ready to clock whoever it was in the face until I realized it was Liam. He glanced toward the plane then back to me, with a smirk.

“So I suppose I’ll see ya around as well.”

“Yeah.”

“Alright then. Best go catch yer own flight, arsehole.” He clapped me on the shoulder then handed his ticket to the flight attendant.

“Right. Bye, Liam.” I said and headed to my terminal to catch the flight to London.

CHAPTER FORTY

Marks On My Skin

Some days things were still tough. My mother had never really acted like one, but I still mourned. I wasn’t sure if it was for her or for the loss of any possible relationship with her. Growing up, that was all I’d ever wanted from her. She’d ignored me, left me to fend on my own, and never once told me she loved me. Yet I had still loved her.

They’d found her killers quick enough and they were currently behind bars where they belonged. I wanted justice of course, but I couldn’t help but think that, one way or another, her life was bound to come to a tragic end. Once her body was released to me I had her buried in the Midtown Cemetery, a quite, serene resting place. I didn’t have any sort of funeral, but Niall, Liam, and Darren came out to pay their respects.

All three had been there for me after the events in New York. Niall made me laugh when I needed it most, Darren was always there to give me advice, and Liam and I had learned to be friends once again. Whether he’d gotten over any romantic feelings for me, or simply accepted that I didn’t feel the same for him, I didn’t know. Still, I was glad to have him back and that there wasn’t any ill blood between him and Kieran.

In regards to Kieran, I hadn’t heard from him but a few times. He’d sent me post cards from England, each with a picture of something iconically British—a red phone booth, Big ben, that sort of thing— and a simple message saying he hoped I was well. There was never any mention of anything he’d said at the airport, nor was there a mention of when he might be coming back this way. It was fine though. I still had my reservations about Kieran. He said he’d made a mistake, that he never should have gone back with Kendall…but what if things hadn’t gone the way they had with her? Would he still be singing the same tune?

I walked out to my car, trying not to let my thoughts linger on him. I had a long session scheduled that started in about an hour and needed my mind on that instead. I put on some music for the short drive and it helped.

“Mornin’, Shayne.” Liam smiled a little too brightly when I walked in.

“Um, good morning.” I blinked at him, caught off guard.

“I cleaned up most the shop already, so ya can just go prep fer yer session.”

“Oh, thanks.” I said and hung my bag up in its usual place in the office. Liam remained in the hallway watching me and I couldn’t help feeling that he was up to something. “What are you doing?”

He pushed himself off the wall, letting out a laugh. “I’m just standing here. Don’t be silly.”

I narrowed my eyes, studying him for a moment. His grin only widened. “Right. I’m going to set up my station.”

“Ya do that.” He nodded with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and went into the office, leaving me standing there, dubious.

Yeah, he was definitely up to something. I shook it off and went into my room to see a book sitting on my tattoo chair. I glanced back into the hall. “Liam, did you leave a book in here?”

He popped his head out of the office, a confused, but not at all convincing eyebrow raised. “Hmm? What book?”

“The one on my chair.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what yer talking about.” He said, again with the stupid grin. “Also, yer appointment left a message. They need ta reschedule fer tomorrow.”

I frowned at him. “Why didn’t you check the messages earlier? I could have come in later and slept in.”

He let out a snort, as if he was offended by my question. “I didn’t check them because I was busy cleaning the shop!”

“Okay, fine. I guess I get to sit around and hope for walkins.”

He shrugged and disappeared into the office once more and I grabbed the book off the chair, studying it.

The cover was a girl’s back that was covered in beautiful tattoos.

The title read:
Marks On My Skin By K. Donovan

Kieran Donovan.

I looked back toward the hall, scowling. Of course Liam had something to do with this. Still, curiosity got the best of me and I opened the book.

I left marks on your skin, you left marks on my heart. I wrote this for you.

Underneath the dedication was a hand-written note. Simple instructions.

Read. Don’t skip ahead.

I glanced around the room, expecting someone—namely Kieran—to be watching me, but I was completely alone. Hesitantly, I sat down on my tattoo chair, which was already at a comfortable incline, and flipped the page. I had no idea what to expect.

The story opened with a guy-Kellan- talking about a girl named Sara, that he couldn’t get off his mind. A girl with long black hair. She was covered in tattoos. She had bangs, red lips, and a penchant for wearing short skirts and tall boots. I surveyed my own outfit.
Well, he had me there.

Intrigued, I continued into the story that bared a very close resemblance to our own. It was all written in the guy’s point of view. Kellan—not unlike Kieran— had a wife that left him, and admittedly had a terrible history of women walking all over him and leaving when they were done with him. But this Sara, this tattooed girl with the red lips, brought out something different in him. She didn’t want nor ask anything of him. He just liked being around her. He felt like himself for the first time. He hadn’t even realized he’d felt like someone else before that.

An hour passed, the door chimed, but I didn’t even bother looking. Whoever walked in, Liam took them into his room and the buzz of his machine followed shortly after. I kept reading. Reading how Kellan felt when he was with Sara, all the new experiences he explored with her. It wasn’t about control, it was about the trust she willingly handed over to him, the way she made him feel.