Marie Sexton - Coda 03 - The Letter Z (2 page)

“I thought you were going to make me wait all night,” he says, smilin’ at me, and I can’t help but smile back.

 

“I thought I was too,” I say.

 

“I don’t want to cause any trouble with your boyfriend. Were you telling Jared the truth?”

 

“I’m not lyin’. He said it’s okay.”

His smile gets a little bit sexier. “Good.” He leans against me and kisses my jaw. His tongue flicks over my ear. His touch makes my pulse race, and I’m already mostly hard. I’m not thinkin’ ’bout anything but what I want to do to him. But then he whispers in my ear, “Does he want to join us?”

Just a few words, but it’s like a slap in the face for me. Not sure why I didn’t think of that. Maybe it would be better. But then I think ’bout seein’ Zach touch some other man, and I know I couldn’t do it. Zach may not be the jealous type, but I am. I push him away just a little so I can see his face. “You can’t have Zach,” I say, and I sound angrier than I meant to.

He just grins at me. “I don’t want him, sugar. Just offering for your sake.”

He leans forward to kiss me, and I pull away without even thinkin’ ’bout it. This is just like the clubs. Same rules. Don’t let them kiss me. Never let them fuck me. He looks a little surprised, but doesn’t push it. He takes my hand again and leads me over to the bed. He opens the drawer on the bedside table. Not the top one, like I would’ve done if I was lookin’ for the lube. He goes right to the second drawer and pulls out a tube, digs way in the back and comes up with a couple of condoms.

“You been with Jared,” I say, surprised.
He smiles over his shoulder at me. “Many times, sugar.”

It all clicks into place now, and I realize what an idiot I been to not figure it out sooner. “You’re Cole.”

 

“Oh my,” he says flirtatiously, batting his eyes at me and giving me a wicked grin. “My reputation precedes me.”

 

There’s a sort of tongue-in-cheek edge to his flamboyance, and I can’t help but smile. “What’re you doin’ here?”

He puts one hand on my hip. Just that little bit of contact, and my heart starts racin’ again. “I’m in Colorado for the weekend. I hadn’t talked to Jared since last year, so I decided to call, just in case.”

“In case he and Matt split?”

“Can’t blame guy for trying, right, sugar? Jared invited me to the party anyway. I thought maybe he and the big pissed off cop were into threesomes.”

I almost laugh at that—the idea of Matt lettin’ anybody touch Jared. “Not a chance in hell.”
“Oh well,” he says as he steps closer to me. “You’re here. I’m here.” He puts his arms ’round me and kisses my neck. “I hope Jared didn’t say anything that’s going to make you change your mind now,” he whispers as his lips brush my ear.

I shake my head. “Wasn’t Jared told me ’bout you. It was Matt.” His pulls back to look at me, and his eyes twinkle a little. “I’m sure
that
was an interesting conversation.”

 

“He said he caught you with Jared, before they were together.”

He just smiles. “Honestly, you make it sound so
tawdry
. By the time Matt showed up, we had all our clothes on and everything.” He pulls my shirt off and pushes himself against me. His voice in my ear is soft and sexy. “So tell me, sugar, are we going to talk all night?”

“I hope not,” I say, and he laughs. His hands slide down my back, then around to my belt. “I won’t bottom,” I say. Probably seems kinda sudden, but I figure now’s as good a time as any to say it.

“That’s just fine, sugar,” he says, and kisses my jaw again. I put my arms ’round him, under his shirt. His skin is smooth and soft against my fingertips. He gets my pants unbuttoned, and one hand slides down my stomach, into my boxers. He bites my neck a little, moaning, as I thrust against his hand. His fingers are soft, gently exploring, moving down my shaft.

I’m definitely done talkin’. Besides Zach, I haven’t wanted anyone this much in a long time. I pull his shirt off and push him roughly back onto the bed. He looks up at me in surprise, and I can tell he likes it that I’m bein’ more aggressive now. I climb on top of him. I can’t decide where to touch him first. He’s skinnier than Zach—skinny like me. Our bodies are almost identical, really. We could be brothers. His skin is beautiful, just a little bit lighter than my own, and there’s no hair on his chest at all. I run my hands down his sides and over his soft stomach. He wraps his legs around me and grinds against me, and I lock my mouth over one of his nipples. He moans and his fingers go into my hair. That’s okay for now.

We grind together while I tease first one nipple, then the other. He tries to reach for my groin again, but I push his hands away and hold his arms down. He definitely likes that. His eyes close, and he moans and arches against me.

I move lower on him and unbutton his pants. He lifts his hips so I can slide them down. I’m surprised to find that he has no pubic hair. He’s shaved totally clean. Never been with anyone who shaved before, and it’s crazy sexy. He even smells different from other guys. Not musky. Something sweeter and cleaner. Holy fuck, it’s hot. I spend a long time just runnin’ my hands and my tongue all over that smooth skin. I especially like the way it feels to suck his smooth sac into my mouth. He’s breathin’ hard, moanin’ softly, his fingers in my hair. I push his hands away. “Don’t touch my head while I’m doin’ it.”

“Sure thing, sugar,” and his hands go to my shoulders.

I circle his head once with my tongue first before sliding down his length, sucking him in all the way. His breath catches. He puts his arms out to the sides and grabs hold of the sheets and his back arches toward me. I think for a second he’s gonna come already. But then he gasps out, “Oh my God, you’re good.” He doesn’t talk any more after that, but I’m glad there’s music playin’ in the other room, ’cause he’s not exactly bein’ quiet either.

Not even gonna try to guess how many blowjobs I’ve given over the years, but I’m pretty sure I’ve never given one like this. I’m all over him. My hands are grippin’ his ass, helpin’ him thrust deeper into my mouth. My fingers are slidin’ up and down his crack. I’m so turned on, I’m not sure he’s even gonna need to touch me. I could easily climax just by grindin’ against the bed while I suck him off. Probably would, too, if I didn’t still have my pants on.

I finally feel his muscles start to clench, and he moans out, “Fair warning, sugar.” I actually laugh a little at that, which isn’t easy with a guy’s cock halfway down your throat. He cries out when he comes, and I let him stay deep in my throat until he’s done.

Afterward, I move up so I can look down into his face. His eyes are half-closed, and he grins lazily up at me. “Can I kiss you now?” he asks. “No.”

He shrugs a little. He trails his fingers down my chest, into my pants, and he wraps his hand around my cock. “You want the same thing?” he asks quietly, and his grip on me tightens. “Or would you rather fuck me?” Just the thought of getting’ him on his knees in front of me makes my breath catch in my throat, and my erection jumps a little in his hand. He smiles at me. “I was hoping that would be your answer.”

I stand up so he can get his pants off the rest of the way. I don’t take my pants off. Just push them down enough to be out of the way. I put on one of the condoms and spread some lube on myself. He gets on his hands and knees and looks back at me over his shoulder.

I gotta admit, pretty much all rational thought leaves my brain at that moment. I’m just lookin’ at his ass, right in front of me, like an offering. I’m afraid to touch him. I know I’m gonna lose control.

“What are you waiting for?”

My mouth is dry, and I try to lick my lips. “Not sure I can be gentle,” I say, and it doesn’t even sound like my voice. Can’t believe I want him this much.

“No need to be, sugar,” he says, and there’s laughter in his voice. He winks at me. “I’m not as fragile as I look.” He wiggles his ass at me teasingly. I grab his hips, push against him. That first moment when I push past his rim almost undoes me. He leans back into me, pushing down all the way. I stop there, buried to the hilt in him, just reveling in that amazing tightness around my cock.

“Do it!” he hisses at me, and the last bit of my control goes up in smoke. Before I know it, I’m drivin’ into him fast and hard, and he’s givin’ back as good as I’m givin’. He’s panting hard. Our skin is slappin’ together, and the bed is creakin’, and I don’t care if the whole fuckin’ world knows what’s goin’ on right now. I know he’s gonna be sore tomorrow, and he’s probably gonna have bruises on his hips where I’m holdin’ onto him, but I can’t do anything to stop. Somethin’ ’bout him just makes me wild. I think ’bout how it felt to go down on him. All that smooth hairless skin, and the way he smelled, and that’s it. I lose it then, hold him down tight against me while I come.

When I’m done, he pulls away. He flops down on his back and smiles up at me. I lay down next to him, not touchin’, and we both just work on breathin’ regular again.

After a minute, he say, “I still don’t know your name.” ’Course one of my rules is to never tell them my name, but this seems different somehow. “Angelo.”

“Angelo.” He sighs. “I better get out of here. Jared’s big bad boyfriend will rip my legs off if he finds me in his bed. I don’t think it will matter who I’m here with.”

I have a feelin’ he’s right. And I don’t even want to think ’bout what Matt will say to me. I stand up, hold a hand out to him and help him up. We get dressed in silence. I follow him to the door. He starts to open it, then suddenly closes it again and turns around to look at me.

“It’s gone now, isn’t it?” he says in surprise.
“What’s gone?”
“All that tension. I haven’t wanted anyone so much in a long time.

But now,” he shrugs, “it’s over.”

He’s right. Whatever I felt with him is already fadin’—like a match that flares bright at first, but goes out too soon. Now he just seems like any other guy. Like we could hang out forever and never fuck again. “Guess so,” I say.

He smiles a little. “Your boyfriend must be a pretty smart guy.” He puts his hand on my arm. “Take care, Angelo.” And then he leaves. Goes back to the party. I see him walk up to Jared, and Jared glances back at me, lookin’ like he wants to punch me.

I don’t care. I don’t gotta worry ’bout what Jared thinks.

I see Zach as soon as I walk back into the kitchen. He’s leanin’ against the sink, talkin’ to Lizzy. His eyes land on me the minute I come into the room. They’re curious, but nothing more. Not angry. Not jealous. Not sad. That’s good, ’cause I can’t take it back now, and I don’t know what I would’ve done if he freaked out on me.

I stop and get a soda out of the fridge and drink half of it all at once. I won’t go to him with Cole’s taste still on my tongue. Then I turn to face him, and he smiles at me.

I step up to him and lean against him. His body is so safe and familiar. I run my hands up his chest, kiss his jaw. He shivers a little, then relaxes and puts his arms around me. All I want now is him. Don’t know if it makes sense, but right at this moment, I want him more than ever. If we were alone, I’d already be undressin’ him.

I put my arms around his waist and have to stand on my toes to whisper in his ear, “How’d you get so smart?”

 

He laughs. “I’m not sure I am. Jared spent the last twenty minutes telling me what a fool I am.”

I look into his eyes and say, “He’s wrong.”
“You think so?”
I nod. “I know so.”

He smiles down at me, and my hands are startin’ to wander over him. Know there’s all kinds of people ’round to see, but I don’t care. I put one hand on the back of his head and pull him down to kiss me. I love the way his tongue moves over my bottom lip, and the way one of his hands slides up my spine to the back of my neck. I love that it’s familiar. I know he’s gonna do it, but it still turns me on every time. That’s the way it should be.

“Zach,” I say, while his lips are still against mine. “Take me home.”

He pulls back just a little, and now he does look worried. “Is this because you feel guilty?” he asks quietly.
I shake my head. “No.” And it’s the truth. Maybe I should feel guilty, but I don’t. I take a deep breath, make myself look into his eyes and say those words. They usually catch in my throat, but tonight, it’s easier than it’s ever been. “’Cause I love you, Zach.” The light and happiness in his eyes when I say it is worth everything. “Can’t even tell you how much.” I kiss him again. “Take me home, and I’ll show you instead.”

He smiles down at me. “Okay.”

I was worried the drive home would be weird, but it’s not. When we get there, I take him back in the bedroom. We undress each other, and then I put my arms around him and say, “Make love to me, Zach.”

He smiles. “Anything you want, angel.”
He pushes me back on the bed. We don’t hurry. He touches me everywhere, kisses my stomach and my chest and my neck. Then one hand slides down my back, over my ass, and his fingers push against my rim.
And suddenly he stops. He pulls back and looks down at me in surprise. “You didn’t…?” He lets the question trail away, but I know what he’s askin’. I always bottom with Zach, not ’cause that’s what he expects, but ’cause that’s what I like best with him. It’s the most intimate thing in the world. It’s when I feel closest to him. I’m not surprised he assumed that’s what I’d done with Cole too.
“You’re the only one in a long time, Zach. Almost five years.” I pull his head down and kiss him, my arms tight around his neck. I trace my tongue over his lips. “This, too, Zach,” I say, with my lips still touching his. “Only you.”

And I can see in his eyes that it means a lot to him. He takes one of my hands and kisses my palm. “I love you so much, Angelo.”

“That ’specially, Zach. Only you. Ever.”
“I know.”
“We’re okay, right? You and me?”

He smiles down at me. “Angelo, we’re absolutely perfect.” And then he proves it.

T
WO
months later, Zach and I are in our dinin’ room, workin’ on a puzzle. It’s what we do most nights after dinner. I have a beer, and Zach has a glass of wine. We turn on some music—we have this completely ridiculous playlist we made special, half his music and half mine, and if you thought Asa and Cocoon couldn’t live next to Pantera and KoRn on an MP3 player, I guess Zach and I are here to prove you wrong. And if it happens that I actually know every single word of half of Ellis’s songs, I’m not admittin’ it to Zach, any more than he’ll admit to me that he listens to my Green Day CD when he’s cleanin’ the house. Don’t ask me why. That’s just the way we are.