“I’ve heard young Navajo men have to take the warrior’s
path. Did it feel like that to you? Did you get pressured to go
into the Marines?”
“No, I don’t think so, not pressured.” I thought about it
some more. “It was more an expectation. And I didn’t want to
disappoint those with that expectation. And besides, my
image of myself was as a warrior. And my image was also of
a person who did not disappoint the people depending on
him.”
“Exactly.”
I sat up. “But I wasn’t unhappy with it. It was my
decision.”
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32
“I’m not passing judgment on it, Mary. I’m not saying
this is good or bad. It’s just our way. Maybe what art does is
to take a picture of reality, in case people aren’t looking
carefully.”
I thought about this awhile. I was gonna have to run
hard to keep up with him. “You make my brain tired.”
“Yeah? You make my dick hard. But I’m gonna just keep
pretending I don’t know you’re gay, as long as you want to
stay tucked up in the closet.”
“Can I take a nap now?”
“Go ahead. I’m not finished decorating the studio. But
don’t worry! I’ll leave your half alone.”
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Chapter Four
“SO WHAT are you really doing back in Marathon?” Jesse
was holding his cousin out at arm’s length. “Should I be
checking you for bruises?” The Original’s head popped up at
that, and he stared across the kitchen at Sadie. She was
tiny, with a pile of glossy red curls on her head and freckles
on her upturned nose.
“JC, you’re such a pest. Don’t get Granddad worried.”
She walked over and kissed the old man on the top of the
head. “Granddad, I think there is too much salt in the Big
Bear Dog for you. How’s your cholesterol? How’s your blood
pressure?”
“It’s always higher when my grandkids visit, but that’s
just from happiness. So, tell me about this hot dog stand
you want to start.”
“There’s a street food revival across the country,” she
said, and The Original snorted.
“Not in Marathon. We only eat food out in the streets
when we don’t have a nice kitchen table to go to, or a café,
both of which we got in abundance.”
“In San Francisco—”
“But you’re not in San Francisco, and that’s what I’m
wondering about.”
I kept my head down over my Javelina Dog. It was good,
if a little busy. I thought a decent pork sausage on the grill,
down in a bun with some mustard, would have been about
perfect. I would have been happy without the capers and
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34
green olives, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. She had a
brittle sort of smile on her face, looked like it was about to
crack. And then the tears would come. I suspected I was in
the way, and The Original and Jesse wanted to give her a
good going-over. I stuffed the last bite into my mouth and
stood up. “Thanks, that was really great.” I pointed out to
the studio. “I’m just gonna go….”
I could hear The Original before I was out the door.
“What the hell do you mean, bruises?”
Out in the studio, I unpacked a few more things,
rearranged my desk, but I felt like there was a huge cavern
open beneath my feet. I’d gone from not enough time,
drawing cartoons in between missions, in my rack at night,
to having all the time in the world. Now I had the time, I
didn’t have a clue where to start. Okay, goals and objectives.
I copied the cartoon from the whiteboard onto my pad of
good hot-pressed watercolor paper, using a black magic
marker, and thought about my goals. The Marine Corps had
taught me about goals. Make it measurable and give it a time
limit. Okay, so I wanted to have
Devil Dog
in a hundred
newspapers in one year. Okay, wait, back up. Was
Devil Dog
ready to go? Was it good enough for a hundred papers?
Maybe, but it wasn’t good as it could be. Okay, getting it into
the papers, that was marketing. Maybe it wasn’t time for
marketing yet.
What was my goal for the cartoon? I thought about Gary
Larsen. Anyone who had ever seen a
Far Side
cartoon could
probably recognize another, because they had a—what was it
Jesse had said? They had a theme. Miscommunication,
which was always funny, upending man’s natural place at
the top of the dog pile, and looking at the consequences.
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35
What did I want to do? I’d started it as a way to tell
jokes about the officers and not get in trouble. Then it
seemed like everything about Marine Corps life, especially
deployed into a war zone, had a funny edge, or at least, that
edge of,
can you believe this shit?
I was talking to the other
grunts. Now my character, Devil Dog, had stepped out of the
corps and was loose in the world. Would he still be able to
look around and say,
can you believe this shit?
I studied the
cartoon I was copying. Yeah, okay. Maybe so. Who was my
audience now? There were plenty of Marines and plenty of
old devil dogs around, like Uncle George up in Alpine and
The Original over in the house. Was the humor too
specialized for the big world?
I needed to go look at some of the old cartoons,
especially the old military cartoons, see how they made the
jump. I finished the sketch and walked back over to the
house. Jesse was sitting out on the porch, a bottle of beer
resting on his knee. “Jesse, you know where your granddad
keeps those big books of cartoons?”
He nodded. “Yeah. He’s got a shelf in his office.”
“You want to go in there and get me one?”
“Why? You afraid somebody’s crying in the house?”
“Maybe.”
He held up the beer. “You want one of these?”
“Sure.”
He came back a few minutes later, handed me a big
book of cartoons and a Shiner Bock.
I spent an hour looking at cartoons. It looked to me like
the majority had a political agenda—us-versus-them
cartoons. There were some good ones using my
can you
believe this shit
philosophy. Beetle Bailey was a classic, of
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36
course, but it had that something special—it was military, no
question, but with an appeal to everyone. I went back to the
studio, and Jesse trailed after me, picked up his sketchpad
and lay back on his couch. I looked up gay military cartoons
on some of the cartoon stock sites, and most of them
followed the same pattern. The majority were firmly on one
side or the other of the fence, with a strong political slant.
Very few were really funny, with outrage simmering just
under the surface. There was hardly anything that showed
what life was like inside the military with DADT lifted.
I went to my couch, stared up at the ceiling. There was
Jesse, JC3 to his friends, gay down to his pretty bare feet, on
his couch. Here I was, Lorenzo Maryboy, Staff Sergeant,
USMC, on my couch, here in Paris on the Rio Grande. Don’t
Ask being repealed, that had meant something to me. I
wasn’t leaving because I was gay and couldn’t serve, though
the gay comments from the boneheads chapped my ass
regularly. Mostly because they were so fucking dumb. I
hated to depend on anybody that dumb to make sure my
Kevlar was in good working order. What I knew about, that
no other cartoonist did, was what it was like to be gay in the
USMC since the gay ban had been repealed.
But the only way I could make those cartoons funny,
funny for everybody, was to show the rainbow flag tattooed
on my ass. I sighed, put the books down on the floor next to
my couch. The beer was good. I finished the bottle, set it on
the floor, and closed my eyes. I didn’t think I was ready to
drop my BDUs and stand buck naked before the world.
When I woke up, it was dark outside the studio
windows, and Jesse was settling himself across my hips, his
sketchbook and charcoal pencil in his hand. He bent over
and kissed me, took a bit of my bottom lip and sucked it into
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37
his mouth for a nibble. “zo-zo,” he whispered into my mouth.
“You looked so pretty lying here, all spread out and sleepy.
Too much for me to resist.” He wiggled his butt down into my
groin. “Can I sketch you? Pretty please? Just pull your shirt
off.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just an artist, hard at work.” I reached down for the
hem of my T-shirt and pulled it up, but he stopped me when
the fabric was still wrapped around my forearms. “Oh, yeah.
Right there. Now I’ve got you prisoner.” He reached down,
kissed me again, and this time took his time about it, tasting
me, feeling the shape of my mouth, before he touched me
with his tongue, and I opened up to let him in.
His tongue slid into my mouth, and I felt an electric
pulse of heat move down my chest into my cock. He felt it
too, when it rose and knocked against his ass. He wiggled a
little, reminded me of high school, dry-humping between a
couple of pair of Levi’s. He sat up then, rocked a little on my
cock, and I could feel the heat in my belly, a flush of
pleasure in my chest. He pulled his sketch pad over and
turned to a clean page. I raised my eyebrows. “Do you have
any reason to think I want to start something with you?”
He rocked against me again. “This big boy was awake
before you were! I heard him calling to me. I wanted to
sketch you like this. With your mouth wet and your eyes hot
and your cock nestled all impatiently against my ass. But
don’t worry.” His hand was moving over the paper. “I don’t
start anything I don’t finish.”
“Did you call me zo-zo?”
“That’s going to be our secret lovemaking name. Nobody
knows about it but you and me.” He reached over and kissed
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38
me on the chin, then opened to me when I moved my head
and took his mouth in a big sucking bite.
He was sweet tasting, made me so hungry all of a
sudden I was ready to roll him over and get the job done. “I
never had anybody just climb on board and take what they
wanted. Usually there’s a lot of standing around, hands in
pockets, maybe one of us kicks a rock, or a clod of dirt.
Maybe there’s some gazing out to the horizon. Avoid eye
contact at all cost. Then we go into the shower at the same
time and give each other a hand job, quick as we can in case
we’re disturbed.”
“That sounds grim. But don’t worry. You’re not in
Kansas anymore.”
“That’s true, but I think you’re the only boy in this room
who actually lives in Oz.”
“And I’ve got the red shoes to prove it!” Jesse put the
sketch book aside, leaned over, and giggled into my neck, his
breath like little cotton balls touching my skin. “You should
have seen your face in that bar, looking down at my shoes.
But really, zo-zo, fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.”
I tossed the T-shirt to the floor and wrapped my arms
around him. “That’s right. And fuck ’em if they don’t like red
shoes. Pansy-ass bastards.”
“You want to fool around?”
“With your granddad right over there in the house? I
don’t know. Why don’t you just stay right where you are,
little cowboy? I’ll enjoy the ride. I’m starting to like your
company. I don’t know why.”
He rocked back and forth, and I could feel his cock
rising to the friction. He hopped off, shimmied out of his
jeans, and had my own unsnapped and unzipped so quick I
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39
could tell I was dealing with an experienced man. I lifted my
ass, let him tug my boxers down, then he did the strangest
thing. He bent over, rubbed his cheek against my belly,
closed his eyes and moved his face in my pubic hair, let my
cock slide against his lips until he reached the tip. He
reached out with his tongue, tasted me, tasted the sticky
sweet I knew was already on the tip of my cock. “Oh, you
smell so good.”
Jesse slid both hands up, held my hips, then he trailed