Making the Cut (48 page)

Her long red hair tumbled around her shoulders, a mass of curls. She had on a grey, long sleeved knit dress that went down to her ankles and had huge slits up both sides, it was skintight, not leaving much to the imagination. She wore modest (for her) heeled ankle boots and a camel colored draped leather jacket. Definitely not the jeans and thermals most other women in here were wearing. Well with the exception of me, I was wearing leather leggings, a cashmere charcoal sweater, and knee high boots. Everyone around here had accepted my inability to wear the local uniform years ago, but they hadn’t seen the likes of Amy. She was joined by my parents, who spotted us and waved. My father went off to the bar no doubt to get drinks, but was deep in back slaps and man hugs before getting anywhere near. Mum spotted a couple of friends and waved Amy on.

“Sup skank, biker dude, Supe.” Amy patted my tummy, sitting herself beside me.

“Hey whore.” I replied, Cade did a chin lift, grinning.

“This your local watering hole before you starting sipping cosmos in the land of velvet ropes?” Amy asked, taking in our surroundings, winking at some of the men still staring.

I snorted. “You could say that, though I could count the times I’ve gotten drunk here on one hand, I was usually out looking for trouble, not staying in the one place I couldn’t find it. Not with all these guys around anyway.” I smirked. “Although, there was one night I did beat them all in a skulling competition.” I spoke a little louder, just so my neighbors could hear.

“You hustled us girl, which means you didn’t win anything, you forfeit on account of deceit.” Bluey, one of the losers of that night exclaimed passionately.

“We agreed we do not speak of that night.” Louie scowled at me before turning to contemplate his beer.

“I’ll take you on right now, rematch little girl.” Seventy five year old Elliot declared, standing from his stool raising his beer.

I pointed down to my stomach, “Not really in the position to chug beers on account of the little human growing inside me.”

“Hmmph excuses, excuses.” Elliot rolled his eyes at me before rejoining the men, a couple glaring in my direction. I blew them all kisses, turned back to Cade and Amy.

“It’s still a sensitive subject.” I explained.

“How long ago did this happen?” Amy asked grinning.

“Oh about six years ago.” I deadpanned and Amy burst out laughing.

Cade just gave me a look before he pulled my in for a kiss.

“Looks like you’ve been holding out on me and the boys Gwen.” Cade whispered, eyes twinkling.

“Oh just you wait biker boy, I’ll whip all your asses once I get this little sucker out.” I told him, deciding it was time to put some of those cocky assholes in their places.

I waited for Amy and Cade to laugh, or even smile. It was a joke, I thought I was pretty funny, but there faces turned serious and I was met with silence. I felt like Ben Stiller doing stand up.

Cade cleared his throat, an intense expression on his face. “You planning on coming home to Amber then Gwen?” He asked softly.

Realization dawned, my offhand comment had been given these guys a much needed clue as to my plans of the future. Was I going back to Amber? This place, this town was my home it always would be. It held a huge chunk of my heart, contained people who I loved, respected, grew up with. It had been an amazing place to grow up, somewhere where I had no worries, the horrors and reality of the world outside rarely touched me here. I had always thought I would eventually come back here and raise a family. But in my mind that was always someday. It was way in the future, an undedicated date I had given little thought to. A twenty something girl living a glamorous lifestyle in New York barely thinks of the future, apart from wondering about Louis Vuitton’s next handbag collection. But this was now. Not someday vaguely in the future, and I had a lot of other people to consider in this decision, not just myself. As much as the idea of staying here, where nothing ever changed, or would change, appealed to me, I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t stay in the place where everyday I would have to drive down the road Ian and I would have four wheeler races on, drink in the pub he brought me my first legal beer, take my child to the school where he and I had gone. It would shatter me.

“Yeah.” I replied quietly, “I’m coming home.”

I woke up for the second morning to be encased in Cade’s arms, my back snug to his chest, his arm protectively cradling my belly. I instantly felt it. Different. For the first time in two months I didn’t feel like a thousand pound weight was pressing down on my chest, making me almost physically unable to get out of bed, to face the day. I felt happy. Then I felt guilt. So strong it washed over me like nausea, settling in my stomach. A tear rolled down my cheek and I held my body taught trying to stop myself from shaking with silent sobs.

Cade’s arms tightened around me. “Gwen? What is it? Are you okay?”

He flipped me on my back, hovering above me worried eyes searching my face.

I looked at him a beat then burst into tears. He sat back on the bed pulling me into his arms, I buried my face into his shoulder and tried and stop but the tears kept coming. Cade rubbed my back.

“It’s okay baby.”

I didn’t say anything for a while, my emotions churned through me, rendering me speechless. How could I talk if I didn’t even know what I was feeling?

Cade pulled me back slightly, to meet my no doubt tear stained eyes.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked softly.

I bit my lip. My silence, my denial has been the only thing keeping me together the past two moths.

“I woke up, with you, after last night having such an amazing day with you, and a night with my friends and family. I woke up and I was happy.” I hiccupped, “But how can I be happy? My brother’s dead, His life is over. I’ll never see him again, and now I feel so guilty for being happy because he’s
gone.
” My voice broke on the last word. “I’ve been trying so hard to be strong, for Mum, for Amy, for Dad and for the baby.” My breath caught, I tried to calm myself.

Cade yanked me up so I was straddling him, his hands framing my face.

“You don’t need to be strong baby. I’ve got you. I’m going to take care of you, and our Bun.” One of his hands moved to my stomach. “You’re going to be happy, and you aren’t going to feel guilty about it, because one day you’re going to realize all your brother wanted in this world was for you to be safe and happy, and he wouldn’t want you stopping living your life because you were clinging onto his.”

His grey eyes searched mine, he looked strong, determined, like he would do anything for me.

“I love you so much.” I whispered.

“Love you too baby.” His hand pulled me down to his mouth and he slowly kissed me, hands running up to me breasts caressing them.

I moaned, deepening our kiss, craving him, needing our connection. He roughly squeezed my nipple, sending a rush of heat between my legs. I rubbed myself against his growing erection, both of us already naked. His hand moved between us to my clit. I gripped his shoulders hard as his circled it with his thumb.

“Cade.” I whimpered.

“Come for me baby.” He growled, eyes never leaving mine.

I cried out as my orgasm rushed over me, Cade didn’t let it stop as he thrust in from underneath me while I was riding the last wave. He grabbed my neck pulling our foreheads together. His mouth met mine for a frenzied kiss before he moved to my nipple, sucking it. The sensation shot through my sensitized breasts and I shuddered.

“You’re going to come again Gwen,” Cade commanded roughly.

I didn’t answer but I felt myself building, Cade clutched my hips pounding into me hard and deep. I managed to stifle a scream as I came, feeling myself clenching around him milking his release. I collapsed on top of him, rather clumsily with my belly between us. Cade lifted me off him, tucking me into his side, pulling my leg over his body. I felt him dripping from between my legs. So could he, because he slipped his hand down there, I shuddered still feeling sensitive.

“My come dripping from your pussy, my baby in your belly, fucking perfect.” He grunted, bringing his fingers to my lips, I opened my mouth and sucked, tasting our combined fluids.

Cade claimed my mouth. “Still the hottest piece I’ve ever had. I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in the world.”

I rested my chin on his shoulder. “You won’t be saying that when I’m in my third trimester when I’m fat with swollen feet and a screaming bitch because I can’t fit into heels.” I told him seriously.

“You won’t be fat you’re fuckin pregnant and beautiful. And I’ll just have to find a way to keep your mind off your feet.” He declared, rubbing my breasts thoughtfully.

“Well right now my mind is on food. Bacon in particular, with banana and maple syrup.”

Half and hour and a shower later I was happily munching on my plate of deliciousness, my breakdown a distant memory. Cade sitting beside me chomping on some eggs helped a lot.

“Sweetheart, are you sure you want to eat that for breakfast? That baby needs some nutrients.” My mother asked me, entering the kitchen. She looked down at my plate with a raised eyebrow.

“Banana is full of potassium Mum.” I declared.

“And what is bacon and maple syrup full of?” She countered, setting a green tea beside me.

“Happiness.” I said without missing a beat.

Cade chuckled beside me and Mum shook her head with a smile.

“Where are Dad and Amy?” I asked between mouthfuls. It was after ten and Amy was usually down here inhaling her eighth cup of coffee by now. My father could be anywhere, considering he was up at six.

“Your father, believe it or not is teaching Amy how to ride a quad bike.”

My mouth dropped open, luckily I had swallowed my food already.

“No way?” I pushed my chair back, my breakfast forgotten. “I’ve gotta see this!”

“They’re out at the back paddock, you want to take the truck?” Mum smiled. I was guessing she’d already seen the spectacle.

I grabbed my jacket, slipping on some gumboots, Pink Hunter boots mind you.

“No I’ll just take a bike.” I glanced at Cade, who up until now had been smirking into his breakfast, now he was glaring at me.

I gestured the universal ‘come on’ at him. “Hurry up, don’t you want to see this? We’ve got two more bikes in the shed.” I yanked up my second boot and straightened, opening the door. Moving at his usual macho speed of light, Cade was beside me, blocking my way, arms crossed. Now it was my turn to frown.

“What you doing big man? Put your boots on or I’m leaving without you.” I was already figuring out tactics to get around him.

“You’re not going anywhere on a fuckin bike.” He declared.

I paused, mid tickling strategy. “What are you talking about? It’s the quickest way to get up there.”

“Jesus Christ Gwen you’re almost five months pregnant you aren’t getting on a four wheeler.” Cade all but exploded.

“Yeah I’ve noticed considering my bellies grown a bit. Its not like I’m hopping on a dirt bike to go trail riding. It’s a four wheeler and its pretty much straight flat to get to the paddock.” I told him impatiently.

“It’s not safe.” He bit out through gritted teeth.

“It’s no less safe than driving in a car, I’ve been on four wheelers since I was a kid Cade, I know what I’m doing.” I glared at him. “Mum a little help here, tell him.” I whined, looking over to the woman that should be sticking up for me, given she birthed me, but the kitchen was empty. “That witch, she got out of here as soon as this started. My own mother.” I muttered, disgusted.

I tried to push at Cade’s rock hard abs while trying not to run my hands under his t shirt and forget about the whole thing. What was I angry about again?

“For fucks sake Gwen, you’re arguing about our child’s safety here, just take the fucking truck.” His voice was a near yell.

Oh yeah that’s why. “Our child is not in any danger. I’m not an idiot, I don’t go more than 30 and stick to the even terrain. And Dad or Mum are usually always with me.” I told him defensively.

“What?” His voice turned dangerously quiet. Oh shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have alluded to the fact I had already been doing this for months.

“You’re not telling me you’ve been riding on one the entire time.” I wouldn’t be surprised if steam came out his ears.

“Well I don’t have my magic carpet to safely fly me around, so it’s my own means of transportation.” I shot at him sarcastically.

“Don’t get cute.” He warned. “What if something had happened to you?” He hissed.

“It didn’t.”

“What if it fucking did?” He bellowed. “Do you have any idea how I would cope if something happened to either of you?”

I didn’t answer because I was guessing it was a rhetorical question.

“I’d be fucking ruined! The thought of you crashing.” He visibly shuddered. I started to feel a bit bad, reaching up to stroke his arm.

“Nothing happened, and nothing will. I’m not risking Bun. Dad even makes me wear a helmet.” I scrunched my nose up.

“I’m serious Gwen. Just take the truck please.” His voice was more even now, but still rough with worry and anger.