Making It Through (10 page)

I woke disoriented.
What on earth was all that noise?
When my world came into better focus, I realized that I heard shouting. Mom and Dad were going at it downstairs, and it was so loud, I had no doubt that the neighbors had a front row seat on this one. I glanced at the clock. Two o’clock in the morning. They would be lucky if the cops weren’t called.

I was pissed. Sure, they'd had plenty of fights over the last couple of months, but this was the second night in a row that I had been woken up because of it. Frankly, I'd had enough.

I threw back the covers and grabbed my backpack off my desk. Quickly stuffing a change of clothes and a few books inside, I stopped in the washroom to brush my teeth before hauling myself downstairs.

I found the two wailing banshees in the living room, pacing on each side of the room.

“Hey!” I growled at them.

Both sets of eyes fell on me. Silence finally filling the air.

“You both suck, you know that? Why the hell do you guys insist on battling it out in the middle of the night?! You expect me to get good grades, but how the hell do you think I can do that when I am so friggin’ tired? You know what?
I'm
out of here.
I'll
be at Max’s if you need me.

“Max’s? Is that really a good idea?” Mom asked, her seemingly innocent question filled with attitude, no doubt carried over from her argument.

“Good idea?
Anywhere
is better than here. Oh, and good job with making sure the entire neighborhood knows every detail of our family business. Good night, happy fighting.”

I didn’t wait for a rebuttal—I grabbed my jacket and stormed from the house. When I got to my car, I realized that I'd left the keys in the house. No way in hell would I go back in there; I'd rather walk.

The streets were empty as I hiked towards Max’s apartment. About halfway there, a light, cold rain began to fall, completing the mood of the night. I knew I had other places to seek refuge, but he, more and more, was the comfort I needed.

Even though I picked up the pace, I couldn’t catch a damn break. The rain pelted, and the drops that missed me on the way down managed to bounce off the pavement for a second chance at their target. I sprinted the next block, until I was standing on the front steps of Max’s building.

As soon as I rang the buzzer, the door clicked, and I climbed the stairs to his floor. My knuckles barely hit the door before it swung open to a sleepy Max, enticingly delicious in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. With my stringy hair and my soaked sneakers, I stood there feeling disheveled, a shiver running through me.

“What are you doing here, Mady? Is everything all right?”

Between chattering teeth, I managed to reply, “Parents were fighting again, worse than last night. I hope it’s okay that I came here.”

“You never need to question that. My door is always open. Come on back to my room. I’ll get you a towel.”

I stood just inside his room until he returned. This was uncharted territory for me; I'd never been in his personal space before. I looked around his gray-walled room and was surprised at his neat stack of books, his clean floor—not that he had given me an indication he was a slob. I smiled at the family photos on his bookshelf. His rumpled bed looked inviting, the blankets pushed back, and a twinge of guilt hit me. Maybe I shouldn’t have interrupted his sleep.

Max returned to the room with a towel.“Why are you so wet? Didn’t you drive?”

I shook my head, earning me a scowl as he handed me the towel. I turned as Max helped me peel the coat off my body, and I could feel his eyes on my back. I had rushed
from
the house in just my pajamas—a pair of yoga pants and a tank top. When I turned to face him as I dried off, the heat in his gaze could have boiled water.

Ignoring his look, I explained why I appeared to have showered with my clothes on. “I’m sorry to bother you, I really am. Do you think it would be all right if I stayed? I’ll just crash on the couch.”

Max groaned. “There is no way in hell
you're
leaving this room looking like that. The guys would devour you. Mady, are you crazy? It’s so cold out there. You could have gotten hypothermia. Promise me you won’t ever leave the house looking like that again. Seriously, you could have been hurt out there by passing the wrong guy on the street.”

“Looking like what?” I asked with a barely there smile.

He waved his hand around in my direction. “Like that. Looking all hot in practically nothing.” He walked over to his dresser before returning with one of his t-shirts. “Here, put this on.”

I pulled the shirt over my head and removed the wet tank top underneath.

Max crawled into bed and then held the comforter open for me to join him. “You’d better get in bed, or you’re going to end up with pneumonia.”

I slid my wet pants down my legs, the movement drawing Max’s attention. “Uh, what are you doing?”

“I can’t sleep in wet clothes.”

He squeezed his eyes shut tight and began mumbling. “Algebra... dirty gym socks… Coach… Mom…”

“What are you doing?” I asked, confused.

He took a deep breath before answering me. “It’s nothing. Come to bed.” His eyes were still on the ceiling as I slid in beside him.

“You’re a little weird, you know that? Just the same, thank you for letting me stay.”

Once we were nestled into the bed, and the bedside lamp was shut off, he asked, “What were your parents fighting about tonight?

“I have no idea. They woke me up with their stupidity. But it’s never anything new. They’ve forgotten that they once loved each other. Now, they purposely try to avoid being in the house at the same time. But unfortunately, for the time being, they both still live there. It’s inevitable that they'll run into each other. I just hit a point where I knew I needed to leave.”

“Well, I’m glad you showed up here. Come on, let’s get some sleep. We both have class in the morning.” Max yawned and settled down further into bed.

I didn’t need any encouragement; my eyes were heavy and I was cozy. As I drifted to sleep, I thought,
Best feeling ever
.

When I woke, early morning sunshine heated my cheek, and I was already warmer than usual. Strange; my room didn't face east. The events of the night before barreled into my head, and then I realized that Max was draped across me, a substantial bulge pressed to the curve of my ass.
Oh, my God
. I squirmed and felt Max stir.

“Mmhrm, Mady, stop that, I’m comfortable,” he mumbled as he tightened his grip around my waist, effectively pushing his erection more firmly against me.

“Um, Max.”

“Mmrhm.”

With my finger, I tapped his hand that rested on my hip. “Max.”

It took him a few more moments before he woke enough to notice our situation. “Good morning...” he drawled, his hand still holding me in place.

“You should really let go now, Max.”

He chuckled quietly. “And why is that?”

Suddenly, I became very shy. “Uh, I think you’ve got some issues,” I said, my cheeks heating while pointing in the direction of his not-so-little friend.

“Ah. Yes.” He let go of me immediately. “Sorry about that. He likes to do what he wants.”

I just nodded, avoiding eye contact and sliding towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey, come back here.”

Instead of getting closer, I rolled over, turning around to face him. His eyes were alight with mischief.

“What? Can you really blame me? I’ve been sleeping with a gorgeous woman, who came over here in the middle of the night like a booty call, wearing almost nothing. I’m horny; I can’t help my reaction.”

“I am
not
a booty call.” I shoved my hand against his shoulder. Max was quick. In a split second, he grabbed my hand, had me flat on my back, and was straddling me.

“Oh, I know that, Mady,” he leaned in and murmured in my ear in a husky voice. “If you were, we wouldn’t be talking.”

An involuntary shiver ran through me.

Max chuckled. “You like the sounds of that, do you?”

“I-I don’t know what
you're
talking about.”

Max rolled off me and headed to the bedroom door. “I’ve got to get ready for class. You should, too.” He paused and turned towards me. “Oh, and Mady...”

I looked up at him, waiting.

“That was fun.” He grinned and left the room.

I lay there, stunned. What exactly had just happened? My heart was pounding in my chest, and my desire for Max had just exploded. I was in so much trouble.

Max sat on his coffee table across from me, his legs trapping mine in place. “It’s important to me.”

“I get that, but I’m not really sure
I'm
up for this...”

Anxiety ripped through me at even the suggestion of stepping near the same football field where I had watched Matt play many games. I feared the emotional stress if I attempted it, and I wrapped my arms around myself to calm the psychological pain.

“Would you get out of your head for a minute, please?” He placed a hand on either side of my face, gazing into my eyes. I could see he was trying to use the smoldering look that he did so well to get me to cave, and damn it all to hell if it wasn’t putting a dent in my decision to avoid the field.

“Why is it so important?”

Max grinned ear to ear; he could sense me weakening.

“That’s simple. We spend practically every day together, you’re one of my best friends. I think it’s only right that my best friend should make some sort of an effort to be supportive of my passions.”

His words turned me to mush. “I’m one of your best friends?”

“Really? As if you didn’t already know that. If we’re not together, then
we're
texting. Yeah, you’re one of them, babe.”

My eyes fell to my hands. “What if I panic and freak out, or burst into tears and embarrass us both?”

Max pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. “That is not going to happen. And even if it does, I would never be embarrassed by your tears. What I am asking won’t be easy for you, I know, but you can do it. And
I've
arranged it so that you won’t be alone. You can meet up with Jordan and Scott outside the stadium if you like. Please, Mady? It’s the end of the season and I want to share this with you.”

His full lips were pouty, his eyes twinkled, and I was lost. With a sigh, I answered quietly. “Okay, Max, I’ll try.”

He stood and pulled me—still tangled in his arms—with him. “Scott!” he bellowed, nearly deafening me in the process. “Mady will call you when she gets to the stadium!”

“Okay,” a distant voice responded.

Max grabbed my phone and began typing, handing it to me when he was finished. “I put his number in your phone.”

I stared at the phone in my open hand and sighed. Just the thought of being in that stadium again twisted my stomach. Inhaling deeply, I tried to force my mind to see it as making Max happy, and my heart definitely wanted to do that.
I can do this
, I repeated over and over in my head. I could do this for Max.

It was the day of the game. After Max had dropped me off the night before, I had been unable to relax. I had tried everything—a bubble bath, green tea, some crappy relaxation music that consisted of a bird chirping and running water—all, to no avail. Sleep had evaded me.

I stood outside the stadium, staring at the entrance. My heart pounded against my ribcage, my palms sweating. Nervous, I pulled out my phone and texted Scott to let him know I was there. A moment later, he stood at the gate, grinning. My returning smile was strained, I could feel it, but I didn’t want him to think I was ungrateful.

We hit the stands and made our way down the stairs to our seats, my eyes not daring to move from the concrete below my feet. When I sat, I noticed the stairs continued down to the field. With another deep breath to steady me, I took my first glance toward the grass.

“Great seats, right Mady?” Scott asked. “Max wanted to make sure we had the best for tonight.”

He'd done an excellent job at ensuring that—second row at mid-field, probably the best seats I'd ever had. I nodded numbly at Scott. And then the noise and energy in the stadium hit me like a ton of bricks. My eyes lost focus, my heart pounded, and I could feel the intensity of the panic attack growing. I shook uncontrollably, and while I could hear Scott ask me if I was all right, I couldn’t answer him; I was too busy trying to hold it together.

A gloved hand touched my shoulder, and I jumped at the contact. I looked up, my wide eyes locking with Max’s concerned ones.

“You’re all right, babe. Just take a deep breath.”

He crouched beside me until my breathing had returned to normal. I looked at him again and noticed that he was in his football gear. Crap, he was missing the game because of me. “I’m all right now, Max, go. You're missing the game.”

“Come on.” He stood and tugged my hand towards the field.

“What? No, you go. I’m going to head home. I can meet you after at your place, if you want.”

“No, I want you to stay. Please.” He pulled on my hand again, and this time, I rose. Slowly, we made our way down to the field and the bench. A girl who was not a trainer or medic should not be on the sidelines, and my flaming hair stood out like a sore thumb.

“You’re crazy,” I mumbled.

He chuckled at me. “Maybe, but now you really have the best seats in the house.”

We sat on the bench and he turned toward me. “Are you sure
you're
okay? You didn’t look so well for a moment there.”

I ignored his question and asked one of my own. “Are you not going to catch hell for leaving the field to grab me?
I'm
sure coach must be pissed.”

“He’s
okay
. I do have to run in, but
I'll
be right back.”

“You’re up, Granger. I’ll keep Madelyne company,” a familiar voice said from above us. I looked up and found Coach Evers standing beside us. Max smiled at us both and sprinted to the huddle on the field. I stood and Coach pulled me in for a quick hug.

“How are you, Madelyne? I tell you, it’s been so different not seeing you hanging around at practices, shouting at all the players.”

I tried to smile at him. “I’m okay. It’s strange being around here again. I’m overwhelmed, and I think that maybe I shouldn’t have come.”

“Let’s go see Granger work, shall we?”

We stood together watching the field. I saw Max in the huddle, then he took his place just behind the quarterback and waited for the snap. When it came, my heart thudded. The excitement of the game was a powerful thing.

The quarterback tossed the ball just over the heads of the defensive line to Max, who took off. I grasped Coach’s arm and watched Max slip through tackle after tackle. The people in the stands went nuts, the noise deafening. Max had only one defenseman between him and the end-zone. The player grabbed him, but he managed to remain standing. Then the defenseman slipped, and Max was free. Three steps to the end-zone, and he’d done it. A smile spread across my face; he had been incredible! I was glad I'd been able to witness that play.

I realized, then, that I was still gripping onto Coach. As I removed my hands from him, I apologized.

“Mady, I’m glad that you came today, glad to get to see your excitement for the game grow again. It’s
okay
to miss him. He’s missed by so many, myself included. I hope you always keep your love of the game, and I hope this isn’t the last that I see of you here.”

“Thank you, Coach.” I gave him a quick hug, before I turned back to the field and watched Max running towards me, carrying the ball he had scored with. He wrapped his arms around me and spun me around. He placed me safely on the ground again and removed his helmet. “That was for you Mady, and so is this.” He handed me the game ball and winked. “If you stick around, maybe
I'll
sign it for you later.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his exuberance. Whether or not he was joking, I was going to make sure he did just that.

Attending a game—the sport I loved, which had always connected me to my brother—had been another huge hurdle for me, and Max had done everything to help me make it through.

When the game had finished, and Max had made me promise to wait for him, I looked up at the stands, watching everyone file out. I caught a glimpse of my friends, Meagan and Chloe, smiling down at me. They met me at the bottom of the steps. Meagan immediately grabbed me into a tight hug, and Chloe wrapped her arms around us both.

“Where have you been, lady?” Chloe asked.

“Trying to keep sane, studying a lot. I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I’m a sucky friend.”

Meagan waved her hand at me, her lips pursed. “Nonsense. We love you and know you will be back with us when you can.
I'm
surprised to see you here, to be honest.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m pretty surprised myself,” I replied.

“Might it have something to do with a certain football player that we saw snatch you from the stands?” Chloe asked with a wink.

“Max? Yeah. He’s actually my study partner. He's been around for a couple of my meltdowns. I guess he thought this would be good for me. He’s become a great friend.”

Chloe laughed. “Friend? Yeah, right. Come on, you can’t fool us. Admit
you're
dating that fine piece of ass.”

I laughed. “I’m not, honest. You think I wouldn’t tell you if something like that happened? Besides, Colin proved that I’m not really able to commit to a relationship.”

Meagan scrunched up her nose. “You cannot be serious. Comparing Colin to Max is ridiculous. I saw the way you were looking at him. You never looked at Colin like that.”

I shrugged, not wanting this conversation to continue right then. “I dunno what you think you saw, but Max and I are just friends. Anyway, I’m going to get going.”

Meagan pulled me into another hug. “Let’s go for drinks or something next week,
okay
?”

I nodded. “Okay, but let’s keep it low key.”

We waved goodbye, and I started towards the locker room. I wasn’t sure how long Max would take, but I wanted to be there when he came out. I leaned against the opposite wall and pulled out my phone to provide some distraction while I waited. Footsteps approached, and I looked up to find a girl almost right in front of me.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she sneered at me.

I was confused. What could I have possibly done to piss her off by just standing there? “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“You think you’re special, don’t you? Well, let me tell you something, you aren’t. Do you think Max is going to actually go for someone like you? Please.” She scoffed, a sour look plastered across her face as she looked me up and down.

So this had something to do with him? “I really don’t understand what this is about.”

She rolled her eyes at me. “Are you dense? I’m telling you that
you're
not good enough for him. You should probably stop wasting your time, as well as his.”

“Wait a second, who the hell do you think you are? Max and I are just friends, not that it’s any of your business.”

“Yeah, right. You must think
I'm
stupid or something. I see the pathetic doe eyes you have for him. But mark my words, it won’t last. He always goes for the edgy, popular, stylish type. You’ll see.”

There was no reasoning with this idiot, and frankly, I just wanted her out of my face. “Whatever you say.”

“Damn straight. Leave him alone.” She walked away in a cloud of attitude, and I was left standing there, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

Only a moment later, Max stepped from the locker room and pulled my stiff body into a warm hug. He leaned back enough to look down at me. “Hey, what’s the matter, I feel like
I'm
hugging a two-by-four.”