Make Me Weak (Make Me #1) (23 page)

I felt all eyes on me but all I tuned into was Onyx’s silent question. “How do you know him, Alexandria?” His eyes were already filled with rage because without a word from me—he knew.

I nodded my head to confirm his question and in an instant Onyx grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him. He stepped up into Dusty’s face while my fingers latched into the back of his shirt.

“Ah, I see she’s told you who I am.” He said, without fear.

“Wait, what’s going on?” Kayne asked. The others piped in too but I heard nothing but the slow breaths coming from Onyx.

“It’s been a long time, Andie. We go way back.” Dusty said with a smirk.

Kayne looked away from
him to focus on me, cowering behind Onyx. “Andie, how do you know my cousin?”

My mouth wasn’t working, fear had taken over all of me. Every bit of terror I lived with each day was nothing compared to the way I felt right here and now.

“It isn’t a happy reunion.” Onyx chimed in.

Kayne tore his eyes off of me and zeroed in on Onyx. I wanted to step up and find a way to solve everything that was happening but I couldn’t. This was the one thing that could break me down and make me forget all strength I may have gained. Dusty was the man behind my deepest nightmares.

“How the hell do you know any of this, Onyx?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Polly butted in.
Everyone turned their attention from me to her to wait for her interpretation. “Your girlfriend has been sleeping with your uncle.” She said in a huff.

“She isn’t his girlfriend.” Onyx clarified, only making things worse.

Kayne flipped his head around to his uncle with a deep fire building inside. “Is it true?”

“Kayne,” Onyx said with a sigh. “The intent was never to hurt you.”

“What a load of crap! How long has this shit been going on?” I somehow managed to find my voice. I couldn’t simply let Onyx take the heat of all this when I was just as willing to engage in our extracurricular activities.

“Since the birthday dance.”

As Kayne turned to me the rage subsided but he gave me a look like he was begging me to say this wasn’t true.

“It wasn’t planned, Kayne. There was just something that neither of us could turn away from.”

“So, you’ve been seeing each other this whole time?”

“Yes.” We confirmed in unison. There was a collective gasp from the women but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the heartbreaking look in Kayne’s pained expression.

“How could you do that to me, Onyx? I told you that night when my buddies dropped me off that I remembered her. I told you I wanted to pursue her because I knew there was a reason we met again after all that time.”

“Kayne, you were belligerent when you arrived at my house. How was I to know you meant all that you said?”

“You’re twice her fucking age!” Kayne yelled out, making the people chatting pleasantly around us stop talking.

“Can we take this outside?” Polly asked, her eyes darting around to the crowds of people now giving us their undivided attention.

“No! I’m tired of everyone lying to me. I’m not a little kid so treat me like a man. Be real with me, Onyx. When you had no one else to turn to, I was always there. How could you do this to me?” Onyx reached his hand out to touch Kayne’s shoulder but he jerked his arm back.

“No! Don’t try to comfort me right now. It’s too late for that. Just answer my fucking question.”

“Because I’m selfish, Kayne. That night when I left I ran into Andie outside smoking and I was drawn to her. There was a connection that I couldn’t describe but it was already overpowering. So when you spilled your guts to me later that evening I was already falling hard for that girl. I only hoped you woke up forgetting all about her so I could have her to myself.”

Kayne shook his head back and forth. “You disgust me. Now how the fuck do you know Dustin, Andie?”

Until this point Dustin had remained quiet, but that wasn’t going to last for long anymore. He cocked his head to the side and wiggled his fingers at me in a girly wave.

“Don’t you even fucking look at her!” Onyx seethed out.

“C’mon pal, don’t get all bent out of shape because you have my sloppy seconds.”

Kayne’s eyes bugged out as he turned to face me. “You’ve slept with my cousin too??”

“I didn’t know he was your cousin, Kayne. Listen to me, I know you’re pissed and that you’re hurt but you have to understand me. Remember how you got back into town for sophomore year and everyone acted differently? It is because Dustin showed up and spent the summer abusing me in every way possible. Our friends just about exiled me from their group and even when they found out that I wasn’t just the whore they had all considered me to be all summer—they left me hanging. Dustin made my life a living hell and I mean that as literally as I can. This man haunted my dreams for so long because of that one summer. My fear of being touched, came from him. My need to put up a front was all because of what Dustin did to me.”

Kayne shook his head with doubt. “No, I don’t believe it.”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t. I didn’t torture her. She enjoyed every fucking minute of it.” Dustin said, throwing his arm over Kayne’s shoulder.

Kayne didn’t move, he just stared into my eyes and I knew why. He was trying to find truth. He needed to know if I was full of shit or if every horrible thing was true. When he realized that the scared look in my eyes wasn’t an act he pushed Dustin’s arm off his shoulder.

“What did you do to her?”

“Nothing she didn’t want me to.” I had it. Dustin was
not
allowed to walk into my life again and destroy it like he did before. He left me scared and all alone before and I was not going to let that happen again.

I pushed past Onyx and Kayne and without stopping I threw my fist hard into Dustin’s face. He stumbled back a few steps and let out a wild laugh.

“Oh, come on, is that the best you can do, whore?”

Just as I pulled my arm back to swing again, Onyx beat me to it. His fist connected hard against Dustin’s face sending him down to the ground. Before he could even blink Kayne reared his foot back and sent it hard into Dustin’s stomach. He let out a gasp for air and I wanted nothing more than to crawl on top of him and beat into his face until that evil smile faded away forever.

“Get out of here! All of you!” Kate chimed in, throwing her arms over her son’s shoulder. “None of you belong here!”

“Maybe we don’t,” I agreed. “But neither does your rapist of a son.”

I turned my back on him but heard a gasping laugh come from Dustin. “Hey Andie, before you go.” He paused to catch his breath. “How’s my kid? I’ve been meaning to ask you if it was a boy or girl. They’ve got to be five by now. I say that’s a good time to meet dear ol’ dad.”

Kate’s mouth dropped to the floor, Polly gasped but I paid attention to none of them. I turned back around to face Dustin and didn’t hesitate before sending my foot square into his crotch. That wiped the never faltering smirk from his face in a second.

“If you
ever
go near my child I will have you arrested. But this time if the cops do nothing to help me, I’ll kill you myself.”

With that I whipped around and didn’t stop until I was out the front doors. Kayne and Onyx were at my tail as I made my way away from the front doors. Finally, Onyx grabbed my arm and turned me around to face them. I didn’t realize I was panting profusely until he made me stop.

“You never told me you had a child.”

“Because I was protecting her. You see who her father is! I don’t even have custody of my own fucking kid! It kills me! She is
my
daughter and she was the one who saved me. I didn’t tell you the end of that story before. In the version you heard Dusty just moved on, finally deciding to leave me alone. Well, that isn’t true. He found out I was pregnant and decided he wanted nothing to do with me or that child. He beat me until I couldn’t open my eyes anymore. I called James and begged for him to come get me. Somehow I got him to show up and he managed to get me to the hospital. He gave me a half-assed apology but it didn’t mean shit anymore. Everyone I cared about left me in the dust after I recovered from my hospital stay. That was when I decided to disappear completely until my daughter, Daisy was born.”

“Andie, I am so sorry for everything that Dustin did. I’m sorry for how our friends acted and if I would have known sooner I would have done something. My heart is breaking for your pain, Andie, but that doesn’t change what has happened recently. You have been using me to get close to my damn uncle, all while I was falling for you.”

“Kayne, I told you I was just looking for a friend and that was true. I may have been excited to see Onyx when we were together but that didn’t change things. I spent my time with you and put myself into uncomfortable situations because I wanted to be your friend. I haven’t had anyone like you in my life in so long, but you wanted me as something more.”

He shook his head, running a hand down his face. “I just thought you needed time, Andie. I loved having you as my friend.”

“I do too.” I butted in, hoping to let him see how truly I meant it.

“But that doesn’t change anything now. I refuse to be a third wheel to your relationship with my uncle. I was falling in love with you and I can’t just make that go away. So I’m sorry for what happened to you, but I can’
t change that now.”

“Kayne, don’t do that to her.” Onyx added.

Kayne looked at me and shrugged. “She told me herself that she’s a bitch. I guess I’m finally seeing it now. As for you, Onyx, we’re done man. You knew how I felt about her and you have lied to me and hid everything from me for a long fucking time. I guess you two are perfect for each other.”

He gave us each one final look and a shake of his head before he walked off toward his car. “Kayne, wait!” I called after him but he didn’t slow down or look back our way. This was all too much.
Seeing Dustin, everything coming out, and now losing my first real friend in years. There was only one thing I could do now—cry. Maybe it made me weak but right now I felt that it was exactly what I needed to do.

Onyx pulled me into his arms, I buried my face in his chest. “Just let him go for now, love. We’ll fix it later, he’s just hurting right now.”

“For good reason.” I choked out.

Onyx cradled my face in his hands and looked down into my eyes. “Everything is going to be okay, I promise you.” He pressed a soft, chaste kiss onto my lips. It was hard to imagine that all would be okay, but I chose to give Onyx my heart and my trust. Just as long as I had him I was optimistic that things would get better.

We pulled away from the kiss, and I looked into his eyes feeling exhaustion taking over. “Just take me home, Onyx.”

“Alright, just as long as you let me come with.”

I brushed my fingers down the side of his face. Letting his dark, loving gaze heal my breaking heart. “It wouldn’t be a home if you weren’t there.”

That was all he needed to hear before he lifted me in his arms and carried me to his chopper. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let him take me far, leaving my pain and fears in the dust.

Two Weeks Later

A weight had lifted from my shoulders and from my heart. There were no more secrets in my life and that was a first for me. No dark clouds hung over my head. I no longer feared the shadows in the night. A light shined around me
, and for the first time in ages I could be myself. At least that was what I imagined. For the first couple days I lived in this blissful bubble, wrapped up in Onyx every way possible. But as time passed by a nagging, dark feeling pulled at my heart that told me something wasn’t right. Finally, I realized what it was—Daisy.

How was I supposed to be happy
, and feel complete in my life without my daughter? She was still trapped in my grandmother’s care and I needed to fix that as soon as I possibly could. I knew nothing about getting her back would be simple or quick. My grandmother was going to put up a hefty fight—guaranteed. This was one long ass road I would go down because it was worth it. Daisy will always be worth the fight.

For now though, I just needed to see her and assure her I was still here.

Onyx emerged from the shower with a towel wrapped low on his hips. He looked me up and down with those dark smoldering eyes, letting me know
exactly
where his mind was. Heat instantly spread deep in my core answering his wishes—that I would be ready for him. I yanked my favorite black oversized hoodie over my head to break the unfailing eye contact and hopefully the moment. Regardless of what my sexy man had planned for us there was something else I needed to focus on.

When I looked his way again his face dropped as he realized I planned on heading out.

“You tell me you’re going home and I’m going to tie you up and hold you hostage.”

“Promise?” I asked with a wink. That dangerously sexy smirk returned and I couldn’t resist him anymore. I ran to him and
jumped into his arms, grateful the towel stayed securely between us. If there was nothing but my pants keeping me from that thick cock of his, I’d be hopeless. I locked my arms around his neck and pressed a deep kiss to his lips. The passion and need swirled between us. I was lost to our surroundings and everything I was supposed to do. His hands massaged my back as I worked my tongue over every bit of his lips and mouth. A groan of pleasure rumbled at the back of his throat and rolled straight to my pussy. My panties were beginning to grow wet and the need for him was pushing away everything—but Onyx.

Something made my mission snap back and just like that I pushed away from Onyx. He moaned but this time it was out of frustration.

“What are you doing, love? We are just getting started.”

“You need to stop being so sexy because I need to leave.”

“You don’t.”

I forced myself out of his arms and pressed a parting kiss to the middle of his chest. “I do, though.”

“Fine, I’ll stop asking why and start asking where.”

He arms crossed over his chest and fixed a stern expression over his face. It failed miserably, making me smile at his cuteness instead.

“I need to see my daughter.”

In an instant everything about him softened. The sternness in his jaw loosened, his lips curled up, and he dropped his arms to the side. I never knew what to expect when I shared my motherly news with Onyx but I was truly blown away by him. He has been supportive, understanding, and always so
interested. Even though he has yet to meet her something told me he was just as anxious to get her to us as I was. It was a far off dream but the thought of the three of us becoming a family was one that made my heart melt. I told myself to stop wanting it so much but everything in me wouldn’t listen.

One thing at a time.

“Let me get dressed and I’ll take you.”

“No way, Onyx.” My hand pressed against his chest in the same place I placed a kiss. “I told you before, everything involving seeing Daisy is incognito. I have to be careful in the neighbor
hood and then sneak in
and
out of her room. You can’t just drive me there with your big noisy chopper and wave merrily goodbye. Everything about this situation is fucked up but I’m going to do what I have to in order to see her.”

“Let me at least drive you close to there. I’ll wait in that spot for you to come back and I won’t even force you to bring your cell phone along. Please just…let me do this.” Onyx needed to bring me almost as much as I needed to go. Something about me and Daisy struck a chord deep in Onyx’s heart
, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever understand the magnitude of it all. But I was never going to turn it away.

“Okay.” I said, removing my hand for him to walk past. As he did I yanked the towel from his waist and gave his sexy ass a good smack. “But you better get dressed quick—I’m getting antsy.” Onyx flipped his hand in the air to insure me he heard me but I could hear him chuckling the entire time.

Twenty minutes later Onyx cut off his bike and planted his feet on the ground for me to climb off. I gave his waist an extra tight squeeze while I leaned up to speak into his ear.

“I promise I won’t be long.”

“Take all the time you need, love. I’ll be here waiting when you return.” I swung my leg over, took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. I wanted to tell him just how much I appreciated what he has done for me but there simply weren’t words. Never in my life had I met someone like Onyx and I wanted to do everything in my power to express what I couldn’t say.

Pulling back from the kiss I smiled and looked into these deep loving pools. “Thank you.”

“Go see your daughter. Oh, but real quick…I have something for you and her.” He reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and brought out a white envelope folded in half. Onyx handed it to me and clearly the quizzical look in my eyes was enough to make him explain.

“It’s a letter for her. I’m not sure if you want to tell her about me now or ever but if you do—that’s for you to give to her. Or read it to her, if you’d prefer. I’m honored that you let me know about Daisy at all so never feel that you have to share anything about me. However, if you’d like to, that’s where this comes in.”

“Onyx…” I couldn’t breathe out another word as the overwhelming emotion shook me all over.

He sealed my thoughts with a swift kiss. “Go see your daughter, Alexandria. I’ll be waiting.”

There was so much more I wanted to say but I knew my window of time to see Daisy was closing up. I needed to get to her soon or another night could go unseen and I wasn’t sure I could take that. Without another word I ran off into the night missing Onyx instantly but praying Daisy’s window was left open for me.

Before I knew it I was entering the backyard and my eyes instantly darted to the window. Last time I almost scaled the tree and threw myself into her room without even looking twice. This time I wasn’t going to make that mistake. As my eyes scanned frantically over the back wall with a sudden gust of wind the soft curtains of Daisy’s room fluttered out. My heart about burst from my chest and
flew up to her on its own. Without wasting another second I ran to the tree, climbed it faster than I ever have and propelled myself into the bedroom.

I about jumped out of my skin when I saw Daisy sitting up in bed, leaning against her pillows reading a book. A soft glow from the lamp next to her bed illuminated the lines and growing smile of her face. It wasn’t until now did I realize how empty I felt without her. Each time it became harder to leave and almost more challenging to come back because this was why. Every new visit there was something about her that was different. She was a little bit older, a little more grown up and I got to see none of that until I randomly showed up. This wasn’t the type of mother I wanted to be and that was what made my return so wearing on my soul. I just wanted to be a family with my little girl but it wasn’t that simple.

“Daisy.” I whispered in a mix of motherly disapproval for her being up so late as well as excitement to see her again.

“Mom!” She squealed out a little louder than I hoped.

I held up my hand to silence her for a moment to make sure the noise didn’t wake my grandmother. When I heard nothing I lowered my senses and ran to her. After one big, never-ending hug I crawled into bed next to her.

“What are you doing awake?”

She shrugged her shoulders, leaning into my side. “Couldn’t sleep. I was hoping you’d come tonight. You have been gone so long.”

“Honey I’m sorry about that. I did try to see you not too long ago though but the window wasn’t open.”

“Hmph!” Daisy crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her bottom lip out to pout. “A couple nights grandma came into my room after I thought she was asleep and closed it. She said it wasn’t safe to have it open.”

Every sense in me went off and I knew something wasn’t right. After all these years my grandmother suddenly closing Daisy’s windows for safety didn’t add up.

“Daisy, have you said anything to her about me? Have your teachers seen the drawings you’ve made for me?”

Her head shook back and forth so fast it was making me dizzy. “No mama, I swear I haven’t told. You said I needed to keep it a secret and I did.”

“What about in your closet where you keep the money and stuff from me?”

Daisy flew from the bed and into her closet to dig into her secret spot. She re-emerged moments later with a little pink gift bag that looked like it had been used countless times over the years. It was tattered and torn but it looked full.

“This is where I keep it all. It was right where I left it.”

She handed me the worn down bag and I opened it slowly to keep it from falling apart. Every note I wrote to her, all the money I ever gave and even the first baby picture of the two of us in the hospital. Looking back I still remember one of my kind nurses coming in with an old disposable camera. She had snapped this picture while we were lost in each other. The smile on my face was wider than it ever had been before and even from afar the light and love in Daisy’s eyes was clearly visible.

I looked into her face and even with how much she has grown and changed, she still looked at me with the same beautiful gaze. It was one I didn’t deserve but would never stop cherishing.

“I love this photo of us, Dais.” She beamed her stunning smile up to me.

“Our very first picture.”

Fresh tears stung my eyes and burned my throat. This wasn’t just our first, but our only. No one ever cared to photograph those moments and not long after my Daisy was born, I left her in my grandmother’s care.

“We’ll take many more pictures in the future, Daisy. I promise. I don’t want grandma to discover this after so long of keeping it secret. Can I bring it all with me for safe keeping? I promise you’ll get it back.”

“It’s okay, you can take it. I don’t want gramma to find it and keep us apart.” I grabbed Daisy by her shoulders and hugged her tight.

“She won’t. I won’t let her.”

As I rocked us back and forth in my arms Onyx’s note began to burn a hole in my pocket. I wasn’t just curious to know the contents but there was a part of me that was desperate for Daisy to understand that she was more than someone to visit late at night. She was my daughter now, always, forever. There would never come a day where she wasn’t a part of me.

“I have something to show you, Daisy.”

“What?”

“Well, recently I let someone into my life and my heart. I truly care for him and I shared with him who you are. He wrote you a letter.”