Make-Believe Wife (21 page)

Yet his honour would not allow him to force her into
a marriage that she might regret. The prince had made it clear that she would be honoured in his country and she had changed since meeting him. Had she rediscovered a lost love? Why did she have that new glow about her? She had always been vibrant and beautiful, but now there was something more—a certainty that had not been there before.

He was a fool and he did not deserve her. No wonder she'd decided that she did not wish to marry him. Why should she? He'd asked her to enter a make-believe engagement, spoken of a convenient arrangement, seduced her and then lost his temper with her. No woman with any pride could accept such treatment. It was not surprising that she'd walked out on him. Now she was back and he had insulted her again. He was a damned fool and he was very much afraid that he'd lost her for ever.

‘Luke, please wait for me.'

Turning, he saw Roxanne walking towards him and his heart took a flying leap. The gown she wore was simply cut, but she looked like a queen, regal and proud. In the sunshine her thick luxuriant hair was touched by fire and she was so beautiful that he felt weak with longing. If he lost her, he would have no reason to live.

‘Roxanne,' he began hurriedly. ‘I know what I said was unforgivable. I had no right or justification for speaking to you so harshly. You have every right to do exactly as you wish.'

‘Yes, Luke, I do.' Roxanne raised her head and met his eyes with a cool frank look. ‘I am very fond of
Grandfather and I shall not leave him here alone again, though I believe his health is more stable than you may imagine. It is true that he has bouts of illness that could be his last, but he has a very strong will. For as long as he has something to live for he will fight to live.'

‘What are you saying?' Luke's gaze narrowed as he tried to gauge what was in her mind. ‘Are you suggesting that we should go ahead with our marriage to please him?'

‘Perhaps.' She took a deep breath. ‘When I left this house that day I felt that your harsh behaviour towards me made a marriage between us untenable. However, after my distress eased, I came to realise that I did not wish to leave Grandfather—or you. I believe I should have returned to discuss the matter with you in a sensible manner had I not been kidnapped.'

She seemed so calm, so in control that Luke hesitated, not knowing what to believe. ‘I am not certain what you mean,' he said. ‘Are you intending to go on as before—or is this to be a genuine marriage?'

‘That is up to you,' she replied. ‘My own preference is for a true marriage. I wish for children and—I am very fond of you, Luke. I like you when you are not in a temper and I believe we could go on very comfortably together.'

‘You like me when I am not in a temper?' His hands curled into balls at his sides, tension creeping into his voice. ‘The evening of the ball you said…I thought there might be more to your feelings than mere liking.' His gaze was intent on her face and he was pleased to see a slight unease dawn in her eyes. She was not
truly as calm as she pretended. Roxanne might be a superb actress, but she could not quite shut her feelings out. Making a giant stride towards her, Luke took hold of her, one hand on each of her upper arms, staring down at her fiercely. ‘Supposing I want more than mere liking? Supposing I want passion and love—the kind of love that blazes out of control and takes over your life?'

He felt her tremble and she caught her bottom lip between white teeth. Luke smiled, the despair inside him beginning to give way before a new certainty and hope.

‘Is that what you want from me?' Roxanne asked, a tremor in her voice now. ‘I thought you did not wish to commit to such feelings? You said you did not believe in romantic love, only passion.'

‘It was my belief that I could never truly love,' Luke said and smiled. ‘Grandfather speaks the truth when he calls me a fool, Roxanne. Everything I ever wanted was there—mine for the taking—but I did not have the sense to see it. Only when I thought you lost, perhaps dead, did I begin to understand how deep my feelings for you actually were. I love you, Roxanne. Not mildly or with fond affection, but with a passion I hardly know how to control. I find the idea of life without you appalling. I want to see you every day, to wake up and find you beside me in my bed—to know that you are mine and always will be.'

Roxanne held back a sob, her face pale and tense. ‘Luke, I do love you. You must know it. Surely you must have known that night?'

‘I discovered something so sweet in your arms that night,' he murmured huskily, his arms going about her waist as he pulled her close. ‘Yet I feared it. I fled from you before you woke because I was terrified of letting you discover my vulnerability. I was uncertain whether you truly loved me.'

‘You must have known when I clung to you and held nothing back? Surely you knew then?'

‘Yet you so rarely let your feelings show. You are a clever actress, Roxanne. It might have been an act—and it was not all fear that you did not feel as I did; I was afraid that I would hurt you, destroy you, if I allowed myself to offer you a true marriage. I believed my father shallow and thought I might be as he was, but I misjudged him. He lost the woman he truly loved and married my mother just to have an heir for the earldom. He could never love his wife because his heart was in the grave with his one true love. When I thought you might be dead, I knew just what my father felt, Roxanne. Even had I married for an heir in years to come, I should never have loved another woman. You mean everything to me; if you leave me, I shall have nothing left to give anyone.'

‘Oh, Luke…' Roxanne's voice caught and a tear escaped, sliding down her cheek. He wiped it away with his fingertips and then bent to kiss her lips. She gave a little moan and pressed herself against him, melting into him so that he felt as if they were one person, one being. ‘Luke, my dearest. When I recovered my senses I knew all that I had lost and I feared I might never see you again. Shulie believed the prince meant to make
me his wife and for a short time I feared he might take me with him whether I wished it or not.'

‘But you admired him. I saw it in your eyes—and there is something different about you…'

‘I know who I am now, Luke. Before I wondered if I might be a thief or worse. I was not sure that I was good enough to be your wife and the mistress of this house.'

‘Grandfather knew you were a lady born. He saw quality—as I did had I the sense to realise it.'

‘Yes, but I did not know. I wanted to be worthy of you, Luke. Now the shadows of the past have gone and I know who and what I am.'

‘The notion of India was more true than you knew?'

‘My father was the prince's tutor. When my mother died of a fever my father brought me home to live with my aunt and uncle—but her husband was a greedy rogue. When Papa sent me the ruby to keep for him, my aunt saw it and her husband was ready to give me to a man who would have used me for his pleasure and made me work as a whore until I died of some disease. I heard him telling her it was either that or he would kill me himself.'

‘Damn him! If I'd known, I would have killed him myself!'

‘My aunt pleaded with him, but she was frightened of him. I ran away that night. I was afraid he would catch me and I ran and ran for a long time…then I was attacked by a vagrant and after that I became ill and I must have wandered in a daze. I remember now that I
told Sofia some of the story when I was ill, just little things about India. I cried for my mother and my ayah.'

‘Why did she not tell you later?'

‘Perhaps because she knew it distressed me to try to remember. She invented the game to try to jog my memory, but it did not work and so she decided that it was best to forget the past. She loved me and wanted to keep me safe. Because she feared for me she tried to keep my past a secret, and that is why no one found me for a long time, even when the prince's men began to search. When she was ill she told me she was sure I was a lady and that I should sell the ruby and set up with a companion. She hoped I would marry well.'

‘She thought you enamoured of the prince,' Luke said, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

‘I was but a child when we were friends,' Roxanne said and smiled at him. ‘Sofia asked me about the prince once, but I could not recall him, though I must have said something to her when I was rambling. When she spoke of him I thought she meant one of her lovers, because when I recovered from the fever I had no memory of anything.'

‘He remembered you. He wanted you.'

‘Then why did he not simply take me? I should have found it difficult to escape had he decided to keep me.'

‘He wanted the ruby more,' Luke said. ‘He knew that I would never give it up while he had you and that's why he brought you back to me.'

‘Yes, perhaps, though I believe he understood that I belonged to you. I know he made you angry, but his
father was always an honourable man and the prince did what was right in the end.'

‘You may think so, but I cannot excuse the fellow. He had the effrontery to offer to buy you from me,' Luke said, a grim look on his face. ‘He said that he would pay my price whatever that might be. I told him that you were a pearl beyond price and not for sale.'

‘He tried to buy me from you?' Roxanne was stunned, incredulous. ‘Is that what made you so angry?'

‘What would you expect? He said that if I was making a marriage of convenience, he would make it worth my while to give you up.'

‘How could he?' Roxanne felt a surge of anger. ‘He had no right. I am not your property. I am not anyone's property.'

‘That is the gist of what I told him, though perhaps not quite in those words,' Luke said. He hesitated, studying her face and trying to read her mind. ‘Can you forgive me, Roxanne? Will you give me another chance?'

‘Are you asking me to marry you?'

‘Yes, of course.' Luke suddenly dropped on one knee before her, gazing up at her in earnest. ‘Roxanne, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife? I love you and your agreement will make me the happiest man alive.'

She seemed to hesitate for one instant and Luke's heart sank; then she smiled and inclined her head.

‘Yes, of course I shall, Luke. Please get up. There was no need to kneel to me. All I want is to know that I am truly wanted and loved. I do not require homage,
nor shall I tie you to me. You may live as you wish, visit London as often as you choose. I ask only that you love me and return to me when you are ready.'

‘Unless forced by business, I shall never want to leave you for more than a few hours, my darling.'

Luke was on his feet, drawing her into his arms. He crushed her against him, knowing that she must feel the heat and force of his arousal and he held her pressed into his body. He wanted her to know how fierce was his need and his desire.

‘I wanted you from the first moment we met,' he said hoarsely. ‘At first I thought to make you my mistress, but…' His hold tightened as he felt her stiffen, pressing her even closer. ‘For a long time now I've known that making you my mistress would not serve. I suspect that even when I first asked you to enter a make-believe marriage, I knew somewhere deep inside me that once I had you I should never wish to let you go.'

‘Luke…I hoped, but was never certain…'

‘You do care for me a little? I know I am far from perfect—but you do truly love me?'

Roxanne smiled tenderly. ‘I think I fell in love with you the moment you opened your eyes and looked at me, but I did not admit it until much later. I was afraid that you would never love me—afraid that if you sensed my feelings you would feel trapped.'

‘I did for a short time,' Luke admitted honestly. ‘I did not want to feel love, because I know that it can bring so much pain. I saw my mother's misery and my father's chafing at the bonds that tied him to a woman he did not
love. I was a coward to run from love, Roxanne—but I swear I shall never give you cause to doubt me again.'

‘Then we shall be married as soon as it can be arranged,' Roxanne told him. She offered her hand, her eyes bright with love. ‘I believe we should tell Grandfather. He cares for us both so much, Luke. Before we came here he was lonely and unhappy. The breach between you was too wide for either of you to cross. Now I think you have reached an understanding?'

‘Because of you the breach has closed and we are a family once more.' Luke reached out to touch her cheek. ‘While you were missing, our mutual despair drew us together and we realised that we loved each other. Grandfather told me I was a fool and he was right. I had no idea how fortunate I was that day my horse took a tumble in the woods.'

‘If I had not run away from Black Bob that day, we might never have met.' Roxanne shuddered and moved closer to him. ‘How much we might both have lost, Luke.'

‘I think it was our destiny.' He leaned down to kiss her once more. ‘Come, we should put Grandfather's mind at rest, though I am certain he already knows.'

 

‘I think the old rascal is truly content now,' Luke said as he took Roxanne's hand. The earl had retired to bed after eating supper with them in the parlour and they were strolling in the moonlight, enjoying the warmth of a summer night. ‘He seems much better now, though at times I see that he is still frail.'

‘We must make his life as full as possible,' Roxanne
said. ‘We shall live here for most of the time, Luke, though I know you have other estates and a house in London.'

‘Once I thought the country boring, but it cannot be so when you are here, my love. It may be that I shall have to tend to business at my own estate from time to time and if you cannot accompany me I must leave you here—but I shall return as soon as I can.'

‘Perhaps one day we shall spend more time in London or at your own estate, but for Grandfather's sake we must be here as often as we can, dearest.'