Mail Order Mama (Brides of Beckham Book 2) (6 page)

His fingers danced over her bare skin, along her stomach and breasts, before dropping lower and stroking his fingers through the triangle of hair shielding her innocence. 

She jumped at the feel of his fingers there.  Her mother hadn’t mentioned he would do all this touching.  Why wasn’t he just consummating the marriage like her mother said he would?  “I don’t think you’re supposed to touch me
there
,” she whispered in embarrassment.

“Does it feel good?” His fingers drifted down and touched the nub hidden inside her folds.  She jerked in surprise, but couldn’t bite back a moan.  “Does it?”

She nodded too embarrassed to talk about how he was making her feel.  This had to be wrong, didn’t it? 

He seemed to read her mind.  “Nothing that feels good, that we both like, is wrong for us.  God made me to enjoy your body, and he made you to enjoy it, too.  Stop thinking so much, and just enjoy what I’m doing to you.”  He covered her mouth in another kiss as one finger slid into her passage.

How was she supposed to stop thinking about it?  Everything he did was foreign and strange and felt like she shouldn’t be doing it with anyone, even her husband.  When he started moving his finger in and out of her slowly, she got her answer.  Suddenly all thoughts were gone, and she was just a creature of sensation.  His movements felt so good.  They made her feel better and want something more all at once.  What was it?

After a moment, he added another finger, moving them in and out while his tongue did incredible things to hers.  She wanted to scream at him to finish, but what was it she needed him to finish.  Finally, she felt as if something popped inside her and all the tension left her as she rose her hips up toward his hand.  He moved his fingers in and out a few more times, before rolling onto her completely.

He was braced above her on his elbows, his face seeming pained in the darkness. She stared up at him, uncertain what had just happened, but too relaxed to care.  She felt something much larger than his fingers pushing against her, knowing it must be his man part her mother had said he would put inside her.  She laid perfectly still waiting for him to hurt her with it, just like her mother had said he would.

He pressed it into her just a tiny bit, and it didn’t hurt.  It simply felt….strange.  He pulled back and pushed in again, this time going further, but still not hurting her.  Maybe he wouldn’t hurt her at all.  She relaxed a little as he pulled out and then thrust in hard, pushing inside her until he let out a loud groan.

She let out another moan, this time one of pain.  It did hurt!  She pushed against his shoulders trying to get him off of her.  Her mother had said she needed to lie still beneath him and it would be over soon, but she didn’t want to lie still.  She wanted him to get off of her, and pull it out.  “You’re hurting me!”  Her voice didn’t sound like her own.  It was breathless and held just a hint of a whimper.  “Please stop!”

Benjamin groaned, forcing his body to remain still inside hers.  “I’m sorry.”  He dropped a kiss to her lips, trying to help her find the passion again.  He knew he wouldn’t be able to remain still for long.

She kept pushing at his shoulders.  She wanted to tell him to get off her, but she couldn’t bring herself to be quite that rude.  She lay under him instead, taking panting breaths, hoping he’d just stop and forget about doing this.

He stroked her cheek.  “You’re so beautiful.  Do you have any idea how much pleasure you’re bringing me?”  He was determined to calm her and finish.  There was no way he could pull out now, and he wasn’t sure how long he could remain still.

“Really?”

“Really.  Being inside you feels so good to me.  I want to move inside you.”

“Why?”  She knew the question would show how little she knew about what they were doing, but she didn’t care.  He needed to understand she had to know what was happening to her.

He swallowed hard, trying to keep in mind how innocent she was.  “Do you remember how good my fingers felt when they were moving in and out of you?”

“We shouldn’t talk about that!”  How could he bring that up now?

“Yes, we should.  It felt really good, didn’t it?”  She nodded slightly, feeling the blush creep up her neck to her face.  “Well, that’s how this is going to feel, only better.  You just have to get used to it.”

“But it hurts!” she protested.  How could he want her to let him do something that hurt her this way?  Didn’t he care that she was in pain?

“Does it still hurt?”

She took stock before answering him.  “Not nearly as much.”

“Good.”  He brought his hips back quickly and plunged back inside her.  Her breath caught as she let out a slight squeal.  “Did it hurt that time?”

“No.  It felt…strange.”

“For now, I’ll settle for not hurting you.”  He kissed her quickly nipping her bottom lip.  “Get ready for strange.”  He kept his movement slow and gentle as he moved in and out of her tight passage.  It was obvious to him it didn’t feel as good to her as his fingers had, but she was no longer protesting his movements.  It had been so long since he’d been with a woman that he didn’t last long.  After a moment, he cried out and collapsed onto his elbows atop her.  His breathing was harsh as he buried his face in her neck.

Emily lay beneath him running her hands up and down his back.  She was glad she’d pleased him, even if she’d felt the act was lacking somehow.  Her mother had promised her it would get better with time, and she hoped her mother was correct about that.  Still, it hadn’t been so bad she wouldn’t be willing to do it with him again if he ever wanted to.  She couldn’t help but wonder how often he’d want to do it, though.  Maybe once a month?  Or less often?  Her brow furrowed.  She could handle it that often if he needed it.

After a moment, he rolled to his side, and reached down to drag the covers over both of them.  They were hot now, but once the sweat on their bodies cooled, they’d be shivering in the cold.  He lay facing her, not sure what to say now that it was over.  What did one say to a wife he’d just met a few hours before after taking her virginity?

She rolled to her side away from him, snuggling into the blanket.  She’d had so little sleep since his letter had arrived.  Now that she was here, and the pressure was off, she fell asleep.

Benjamin was still trying to figure out what he should say to her when he realized she’d fallen asleep.  Maybe flowery words weren’t necessary for his little bride.  He yawned and settled against the pillow, joining her in sleep.  If they woke early enough, maybe they could enjoy one another some more before they had to go get the children.

*****

Benjamin woke early, wondering why he felt so totally relaxed.  After a moment he remembered and smiled. 
Ahh…she’s why!
He glanced over at the pillow beside his and saw his new bride sleeping with her head cradled on her hands.  She looked even younger in his sleep, which made him feel a pang of guilt.  She’d shown more passion than he’d expected, and he looked forward to further awakening her to the pleasures of the marriage bed.

He glanced at the clock he kept on the dresser and saw it was only half past six.  That gave him plenty of time to give his new bride another lesson in love making.  He smiled at the very idea.  She may be tiny, but she was passionate, and he was thrilled with her pretty little body.

He leaned over and smoothed her hair away from her face gently caressing her cheek.  When she didn’t respond, he rolled closer, nibbling the side of her neck which was exposed. 

Emily blinked as she felt a tickling on the side of her neck.  She put her hand up to push away whatever was there and encountered a head.  Startled, she yelped.

Benjamin chuckled.  “Did you forget your husband was sharing your bed?”

Emily blushed.  “Good morning.”  She couldn’t admit to him that she had forgotten she’d married.  She’d fully expected to open her eyes and find herself back home in her bed at her mother’s house.

“Good morning, wife.”  He turned her toward him and dropped his mouth to hers to kiss her softly.  “How did you sleep?”

“After four nights of sleeping on a train, I just slept.  I don’t even remember dreaming.”  She stretched her legs under the covers wishing she had the courage to stretch her arms above her head, but she knew she couldn’t, because she wasn’t wearing a nightgown.

“You nodded off pretty fast last night.  I’m sorry you were so tired.”  His hand rubbed up and down her arm.

Her eyes met his before dropping again.  Now that it was daylight, she was too embarrassed to look him in the eye.  “It was a long journey.” How could she have been so brazen?  Was she really not wearing her nightgown?

He brushed another kiss against her lips, his hands rubbing her shoulders.  “We have an hour or two before we need to leave to pick up the girls.”  He pulled her flush against him, his erection against her thigh leaving her in no doubt about what he wanted to do to fill the time. 

He couldn’t really want to do
that
in the daylight, could he?  He’d have to see her with no clothes on!  “I guess I should fix breakfast then,” she said trying to distract him.

“I have a better idea.”  His lips caught hers again, much more insistently this time.  One hand cupped her breast and he flicked his thumb across the tip.  His other hand rubbed her bare thigh, slowly slipping between her legs. 

“Benjamin!  The sun is up!” she protested.  Surely he didn’t really think she’d agree to have relations with him in the light of day.  He had to know that was wrong!

He laughed.  “The sun isn’t the only thing up.”  He took her hand and brought it down to his erection, laughing as she pulled her hand away as if she’d been burned.  “Let’s make love.”  He pushed her to her back, his hand moving deliberately into her soft folds, trying to get her ready for him. 

“We can’t do this when it’s light out.”  Her protest was softer this time as she tilted her head to the side to give his lips access to her neck once more.

“There’s not a single scripture in the Bible that says it’s wrong to make love in the daylight.  I promise.  I’ve looked.”  His probing fingers found her dampness and he smiled.  No matter how much she protested, she was ready for him.  He rolled atop her to settle between her thighs.  “You’ll like it a lot more this time.”

She was startled at his abrupt movements and even more surprised to feel his male member pressing against her soft opening.  As soon as he started to penetrate her, she closed her eyes, determined it was wrong to watch him while he did this to her.

He smiled at her shyness, but didn’t stop moving within her.  Now that he’d sated himself in her last night, he was certain he could last until she was finished this time.  He wanted to see her face while she had her first fulfillment.  He rocked in and out of her, reaching down to wrap one of her legs around his slim hips.  She moved her other leg on her own.

He loved watching her face as she experienced the new pleasures.  If she’d had any idea how wanton she looked, he knew she’d never allow him to touch her in daylight again.  Her head moved back and forth on the pillow as she came close to achieving her goal, and finally, she arched her neck as her pleasure was upon her.

He thrust a few more times and finished quickly, content to collapse to her side and pull her into his arms.

She sighed happily, snuggling her face against his chest.  “I really don’t think we’re supposed to do that when it’s light out.”  She felt the need to make sure he knew how she felt about it, but she was too content to really complain much.

He laughed softly.  “We won’t do it during the day when the girls are here.”  He turned her face up to his for one more quick kiss.  “Will that work for my sweet wife?”

She blushed but nodded.  “I suppose it will have to do.”

He rolled out of bed, unashamed of his nudity, and pulled his work clothes from the drawer.  “Are you going to lie in bed all day, or are you going to fix my breakfast?”  He fastened the buttons on his shirt as he watched her hiding herself under the covers.

“I’ll get up in a minute.”  What she meant was she’d get up as soon as he’d left the room, and he knew it as well as she did.

He gave her a knowing look as he buttoned his shirt and took his socks and shoes from the closet.  “I’ll see you downstairs.”  He left, closing the door behind him.

She stayed in bed for a moment to make sure he wasn’t coming back right away, and then jumped out of bed to scramble into her clothes.  Emily smiled as she made the bed and straightened the room.  Her marriage was off to a good start.

Chapter Five

After a quick breakfast of bacon and eggs, Benjamin and Emily drove out to pick up the girls.  She was feeling extremely shy on the way out to his parents’ house after everything they’d done together in bed.  The silence was worse than talking though, so she asked, “Is there anything in particular you want me to fix for dinner tonight?  Or do with the girls?”  She stared straight ahead as she asked the questions, unable to look at him.

He thought about that for a moment, thinking the way she wouldn’t look directly at him was adorable.  “I don’t care what you make for dinner.  As long as I’m not eating my own cooking, I’ll feel blessed.”  He squeezed her hand as he drove down the dirt roads through the countryside.  “As for what to do with the girls, I’m not even certain what Anna did with them all day.  Sure, I know she worked with them a little on their letters and numbers, and kept up with the housework.  Maybe work with them on cooking and baking.  Anna always said they enjoyed baking with her more than anything.”  He grinned at her.  “And you could always spend some time working with Georgie on her housekeeping skills.”

She smiled despite the sadness rushing through her.  Every time he mentioned Anna’s name, he said it with love.  Someday, maybe she’d have his love as well, but for now she knew his late wife still had a firm hold on his heart.  “I’ll work with Georgie, and maybe we’ll bake something.  That’s a good idea.”  She also decided she’d go through the girls’ clothes and see if anything needed to be mended.  It was never too early to learn basic sewing skills.  “What time do you finish work for the day?”

“I lock the doors at six, but sometimes need to stay longer to straighten things up.  I open at ten every morning.  I like to eat lunch around noon or one, so if you ladies could bring something down for me, I’d appreciate that.” 

“Of course, we can.”  She wasn’t sure what, because she’d had very little time to explore her new kitchen, but when they returned home with the girls, she’d look and see.

“Some days I’ll want you to work for me so I can eat lunch in the back room, or I may ask you to help me stock the shelves, but for today, you need to just get acquainted with the girls and learn about your new home.  And cook.  You can’t forget to cook.”

She smiled thinking about his first letter.  “Anything but bacon.”  She hoped they had a good store of food, because she liked to have options when she cooked.  She’d had to work under Mrs. Walters for so long, cooking whatever was asked of her, that she loved the idea of having total freedom in the kitchen.  She liked to cook whatever she was in the mood to cook and not have to follow a specific menu.  She was truly looking forward to cooking for her small family.

He smirked pulling up in front of his parents’ house and setting the brake.  “Yes, anything but bacon.”  He paused for a moment.  “We also need to get you some fabric so you can start making some new dresses for yourself.” 

He jumped down and helped her down to the ground before leading her toward the house.  He opened the door without knocking and called, “
Mor
?  Abbie?  Georgie?  We’re here!”

Abbie and Georgie came running followed by a straight faced Ingrid.  The girls ignored their father and headed straight to Emily to hug her.  “What are we going to do today?” Abbie asked.

Emily hugged both girls tightly.  “I thought we’d start by fixing lunch,” she told them.  Then she lowered her voice as if imparting a big secret.  “We’ll bake some cookies and take them to your Papa at work.”  She raised her voice again.  “We’ll need to fix supper as well, of course, and someone needs to clean Georgie’s room.”  Emily looked straight at Georgie as she mentioned her room, watching the little girl’s face turn pink.  “And we’ll just spend time getting to know each other.”

Abbie wrapped her arm around Emily clinging to her.  “That’s the part I’m looking forward to.”  Her eyes were full of excitement at the prospect of spending time with her new step-mother. 

Benjamin watched his three girls talking together and sharing secrets.  He turned to his mother.  “I’m going to go out and talk to
Far
.  Is he in the barn?”  He knew harvest time was over, but his father would still never spend a lot of time in the house.  His wife would drive him crazy if he did that, so he could usually be found puttering in the barn or spreading manure over the fields for extra fertilization this time of year.

“Yah.  Go to the barn with him.  Be off with you.”  His mother shooed him toward the door, making it clear that men didn’t belong in her house during the day.  After she’d shut the door behind her son, Ingrid turned to the girls.  “Run along and make the beds you slept in last night girls.  I want to have a little chat with your new
mor.”

Emily watched as the girls ran to the back of the big farmhouse and turned to her mother-in-law with a smile.  She hoped the woman was going to offer to teach her to cook Norwegian foods for her new family.  It would be nice if she could cook them the foods they were used to eating.

“The first thing I want you to know is I do not believe my son should have married some woman he found through an agency.  I had a delightful Norwegian girl all picked out for him who would have made him a good wife and who would have been a good mother to my grandbabies.”  Ingrid’s accent was slight and musical to Emily’s ears, whereas her new husband didn’t have an accent at all.

Emily felt her face turn red and was unsure how to respond to her mother-in-law.  She’d done nothing wrong, but the woman obviously hated her on sight for being someone who she didn’t want her to be.  “I’m willing to learn to cook Norwegian foods.”  She mumbled the words, knowing they’d never be enough for the tall white haired woman in front of her.

Ingrid shook her head angrily.  “You can learn to cook the foods, but can you grow taller and look like a Norwegian woman?  Can you change your family history so you will know our customs and our ways?  Can you
become
Norwegian?”

“Of course, I can’t, but I will do my very best to make your son and your granddaughters happy.”  Emily forced herself to keep her voice calm.  She’d never in her life wanted to hit someone so much.  How could her new mother-in-law be so ugly to someone she barely knew?

Ingrid clicked her tongue.  “Oh, I saw how happy my son was this morning.  Obviously you know some bed tricks to keep him satisfied, but he needs more than a woman to warm his body at night.  He needs someone who will help raise his daughters correctly and who will help them turn into strong Norwegian women proud of their heritage.  How can a tiny little woman without a drop of Norwegian blood do that?”  She glanced over her shoulder to make sure the girls weren’t coming their way to overhear.  “It would be best for everyone if you got back on that train and went right back to the East where you belong before my granddaughters start to love you.  Already little Abbie is calling you mama.  You are not their
mor
!  Their
mor
was a wonderful Norwegian woman who loved them.  She does not deserve to be replaced with you!”

Her mother-in-law’s words shocked Emily to the very core of her being.  She’d been spoken to condescendingly, but had never lost her temper.  This woman made her want to throw rocks.  She’d come here planning to be the best mother and wife she could possibly be, and this bitter old woman had the audacity to tell her she wasn’t good enough to be a part of her family?  She struggled to keep her voice calm and low.  “I’m sorry you don’t like or approve of me, Mrs. Johnson, but I’m not going anywhere.  I came here to be a mother and a wife, and that’s what I’ll do.  I’m not going to turn tail and run back East simply because you don’t think I’m good enough for your family.”  She walked toward the door, deciding to wait near the buggy.  “Please send the girls out when they’re ready.  Thank you for watching them last night.”

As soon as she’d stepped outside and closed the door behind her, Emily made a fist and slowly released it.  How could someone be so close minded?  If her mother-in-law thought Norwegians were so superior, she should have stayed in Norway!  How could she move to another country, and not expect even one of her children to marry someone from that country?  How could she condemn her without ever getting to know her simply because she was not exactly like her?  Did she need to be a cookie cutter of every other person around her? 

Emily desperately wanted to cry, but there was no time for that.  Her girls didn’t need to see her cry, and Benjamin already thought she was weak.  There was no way she was going to add to that thinking.  She stood next to the buggy waiting for the girls to come out and join her.  She had no idea how long Benjamin would be, but it had been eight when they’d left the house, and with an hour round trip, he wouldn’t take more than forty-five minutes if he wanted to get back to town in time to open his store.  She could stand there waiting all day by herself if she needed to.

*****

Benjamin wandered into the barn and found his father squatting down trying to hold a board in place while he hammered a nail into it.  “Let me help,
Far
.”  He took the board and held it while his father swung the hammer as he’d done many times in his life.

“Enjoyed having the girls.  You need privacy with your new wife you bring them on out anytime.”

“Thanks,
Far.” 
His father, Sven, was a man of few words and always had been.  Still, when something bothered him, his father was the first person he went to for advice.  “It’s odd being married to someone other than Anna.”

Sven nodded.  “I can’t imagine being married to anyone but your
mor
.  Especially someone so different from her.  You went from a tall blond Norwegian woman to a tiny little thing with brown hair.  Physically, they’re as different as night and day.”

“They’re different in every way.”  Benjamin shook his head.  “Emily is afraid of her own shadow.  She’s not much of a talker either.  Anna never knew how to stop.  If she wasn’t talking, there was something seriously wrong with her.”  He paused searching for the right words.  “I’m afraid I’m going to break my new wife in half every time I touch her.”  Not that it had stopped him, of course. 

“You’re going to have to be a lot more careful when you’re with this one.”  Sven finished hammering in the nail and got to his feet.  “Anna was a good wife to you, and I’m sorry she’s gone, but you don’t need your new wife to be just like her to have a good woman.”

Benjamin considered that and nodded after a moment.  “I know that,
Far
.  She’s just so…well…shy is the right word I guess.”  He chuckled for a moment.  “My poor wife hasn’t had the courage to look at me all day.”

Sven gave a half smile.  “Well, that’ll work itself out eventually, I’m sure.”

“She loves the girls already, though.  I’ve never seen Abbie take to anyone the way she’s taken to Emily.  She’s usually so withdrawn, especially since Anna died.  I’ve been worried about her.”

“Maybe it’s good your new wife is a shy one as well.  The two of them should do well together.”

“If either of them can get a word in with Georgie talking nonstop all the time!”

Sven chuckled softly.  “That girl sure is like her
Mor
and
Farmor
.  She still talking herself to sleep at night?”

Benjamin laughed.  “She does.  I sometimes hear banging on the walls, because Abbie wants nothing more than to be left in peace and Georgie just can’t seem to be content unless she hears the sound of her own voice.”

Sven slung an arm around Benjamin’s shoulders as they left the barn together.  “You’ve got good kids there.  Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.”

Benjamin spotted Emily and the girls standing next to the buggy as soon as he got outside. 
Now why isn’t Emily inside getting to know, Mor?
He walked over to the buggy and gave Emily a questioning look. 
Why does she look so sad all of a sudden?  Is she missing home?

“Everyone ready to go?” Benjamin asked, not asking the question that was foremost on his mind. 

Emily turned to him and smiled brightly.  “The girls and I are ready for our first day of getting to know each other.  We can’t wait, can we girls?”  She smiled hesitantly at Sven.  “It’s good to see you again, Mr. Johnson.”

“Oh, we’re not so formal.  Call me
Far.
  Everyone else does.”  Sven patted her back.  “We’ll see you at church on Sunday.  You take good care of my granddaughters.”

“I will.  I promise.”  Emily bit her lip to keep the tears in.  He obviously didn’t feel the same way his wife did about her joining the family.  His kindness made it all the harder to hold back the tears.

Benjamin helped her into the buggy while the girls scrambled into the back.  “See you Sunday!” he called to
Far.

Once they were on their way back to town, he took Emily’s hand in his.  He wasn’t sure what was wrong, but something had obviously upset her.  When she was ready to talk about it, he’d be there for her.

Georgie chattered about how fun the wedding supper had been and what a good time she’d had at
Farmor’s
.  “
Farmor
let us help bake bread and I got to make mine into a face and put raisins in for hair.”