"Where did you all come from?" Jay-Tee asked. "The door never even opened!"
Reason didn't say anything. Tom wondered if she could still speak; everything Jay-Tee had said about her was dead-on. Reason looked like an alien. She had no hair on her head, no eyelashes or eyebrows either. And she was completely golden: her skin, her fingernails, her teeth. Even the green pants he'd made her flickered with a metallic sheen.
Tom reached out for Jay-Tee's hand and squeezed it hard, but he was still looking at Reason. She was
so
golden.
"We didn't come through the door," the woman said. "We came from Bangkok."
"Bangkok?" Jay-Tee asked. "Are you Reason's mom?"
"Yes. I'm Sarafina. She rescued me."
Reason took a step towards Tom, and he saw that her eyes weren't human. It was as if they'd been removed and replaced with burnished gold. The irises were completely regular, like a doll's: no lines, no variation in colour.
Tom found himself edging away from her. He was too scared to get up.
She wasn't Reason anymore. She was bigger and golder, and looking at her made Tom feel weird. "Reason…" he said, trailing off, not sure what to say. It was as if he were attempting conversation with a wild tiger from the remote reaches of Kalimantan.
Sarafina pulled out a stool and sat down heavily, looking at everything going around her with wide eyes, as if it were action taking place in a movie she was watching.
"Are you okay, Reason?" Jay-Tee asked.
Reason didn't say anything. She took a step towards Tom.
"Better watch out," Jason Blake said. "She's hungry."
Tom wished Danny would punch him again.
"There's not much time," Reason said at last. It startled Tom that she sounded just like herself. He wasn't sure what he'd expected.
"Time for what?" he asked.
She bent down and looked at him, so close that he could see her skin was too smooth, like a retouched photograph in a fashion magazine: no hair, no pores.
"Reason?" he said. The muscles of his throat and mouth were tight.
She moved even closer. "I have to turn your magic off."
"No," Tom said. "No way."
"Magic is evil, Tom. Our enemy. It will kill you."
"I know that. Well, not the evil part." He wondered if the gold had eaten part of her brain. The only thing that looked evil right now was her. Her golden expression did seem hungry, like she was getting ready to snack on him. He realised that he couldn't even hear her breathing. "I like how I am, Ree. I want to stay that way."
"This is your only chance, Tom. Either I change you now or you stay that way."
"Fine," Tom said, taking a step back from her. "I'll stay this way."
"What do you mean, this is his only chance?" Jay-Tee asked.
But Reason was looking closely at Tom, like she was figuring out how best to cut him up.
"But what about my mum?" Tom asked, his voice shaking. "Can you change her?"
"Yes. I can make her sane again."
"Do that, then, Reason. Please?" Tom swallowed. His mum sane, living with him and Da. It was hard to believe it was possible. He wondered if he could love her if she was sane. He knew you were meant to love your mother no matter what, but he'd never felt it.
"Can you trust her, Tom?" Jason Blake asked. "She'll take your mother's magic as well as your own."
"No, she won't," Jay-Tee said. "She didn't take mine. Just turned it off."
Tom frowned. "I don't want my magic turned off. Just my mum's."
Reason nodded. "Okay. Just your mother's."
She grabbed hold of Tom and the kitchen floor dropped away. His body moved faster than his stomach. Wind rushed past his eyes, making them water. The ground beneath them, the trees and houses and roads, blurred into one another, becoming a dark grey stream. Tom wanted to scream at first, then thought he might chunder, but before he had time to do either, he found himself in a huge bathroom in front of a long row of sinks.
His mother's face was looking at him, reflected in the mirrors.
33
Asylum
Tom stumbled out of Reason's
arms feeling like he weighed three tonnes. He grabbed one of the eight white basins to steady himself, then faced his mum's reflection. The mirror was so old that in places he could see the rusted metal backing.
His mum was washing her hands at the sink and staring back at him. She didn't scream or act startled. She wiped her hands on her jeans and nodded at them both, as if this was just what she'd expected.
"Mum." Tom turned to face her but didn't know what to say. His mum's eyes weren't right. Not freaky gold like Reason's, but unfocused, like they were when she was at her most— what did his da call it?— disconnected. She looked completely disconnected. She probably didn't even recognise him. "Mum," he said again, breathing deep. "Reason's here to fix you."
"Whose reasons? What are they? They'd want to be pretty good." She kept her eyes on the mirror. High above her head was a window covered with wire mesh. On the other side he could see metal bars.
"Mum, this is my friend Reason. That's her name."
"It'd have to be a bloody good reason. I don't need fixing. Why's your friend that strange colour?"
"She's not well," Tom said, pleased that his mum was making some kind of sense.
His mum nodded again. "She got the flu?"
"Sort of. She wants to help you."
"But she's sick. How's she going to help me? I don't like her looks." She put her hand over her eyes.
"She's, ah, she's a kind of doctor."
"Doesn't look like a doctor. She looks like a kid."
"Do you want to be fixed, Mum?"
"Not broken, am I?" she said, sneaking him a look from between her fingers. "What kind of fixed?"
"She'll make you— "
"Less confused," Reason said. She held out her hands. In her palms was a golden shape, quivering like those golems the old man had sent into the house. "I can give you this if you want."
"What— ?" Tom began. That was Cansino magic! It would hurt his mum just as bad as it had hurt him.
His mother's eyes changed. Sharpened. She looked at the magic on Reason's hand and trembled. Slowly she reached out a hand towards it.
"You want it, don't you?" Reason asked.
She nodded. "Yes, please. It's pretty." Reason leaned forward and whispered in her ear. His mum nodded again, even more emphatic. "I want it."
"You see, Tom? That's the magic in your mother calling out to more magic. Even though it's the wrong kind. Magic is greedy, Tom. That's what you're clinging to: greed."
His mum lunged for the golden thing, but it disappeared back into Reason.
"Why not?" his mother cried. "Why can't I have it?"
"Because it will hurt you. You need to sit down. You need me to fix you another way. You're clearer now, aren't you? You want to stay like that, don't you?"
Her eyes did seem more focused, as if just a glimpse of magic had taken some of the insanity away.
"I can give you something better," Reason told her.
"All right, then." Tom's mum sat down on the tan tiles. The grouting between them had gone black. Tom suspected the tiles had once been white. Reason sat down beside her.
"Close your eyes."
His mother did, but immediately opened them again. "Will it hurt?"
"No."
"Will I regret it?"
"I don't think so."
"But you don't know so?"
"No."
She closed her eyes again. Reason's arms and hands began to change, becoming longer, skinnier, metallic. Tom's mum opened her eyes again, looking at Reason's hands suspiciously. "You're sure it won't hurt?"
"Yes."
Her gaze darted down to Reason's metal hands. "Really?"
"Yes."
"All right, then." She closed her eyes.
Someone started to open the door, but Tom dashed to push it shut. The man on the other side yelled and pushed hard, and Tom had to lean all his weight against it. There was no lock, and the old door rattled on its hinges. He shoved his foot against the bottom and turned around to put his back against it. Reason's arms were buried in his mother up past her wrists. His mum's eyes were wide open and staring.
"Don't hurt her, Ree."
"Open the door!" the man on the other side yelled. The door started to open. Tom's feet slid on the tiles.
"Use your magic, Tom," Reason said.
He opened his mouth to protest. He had to be sparing. He'd promised Jay-Tee. He wanted to make it to thirty.
"Tom!"
He felt for the jade button in his pocket, put his hand to the chain around his neck. He pushed the tiniest amount of magic into the door. It slammed shut. He eased off his pushing, but the door didn't budge. He wondered how many hours of his life he'd just used up.
Reason pulled her hands out of Tom's mother and laid them in her lap. Tom watched them turn back into normal hands. Well, not exactly normal; they were still gold. He was too afraid to look at his mother.
Reason stood up and then helped Tom's mum to her feet. She was wobbly, but her eyes were much clearer. She looked at Tom and her eyes went wet, but the tears stayed on the surface, not teetering out to spill down her face. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it.
He stepped into her arms and she held him.
Tom couldn't remember her ever holding him. Her face was wet against his. The tears had escaped. He had to bite his lip to keep from crying too. She put her hands to his cheeks, pushed him a little away so that she could look at him. "You're so big," she said. "So big…" She ran her hand down his cheek and onto his shoulder. "I don't believe this. I'm so…"
Tears still poured down her face.
"What happened…?" she began. "I don't understand."
The banging on the door got louder.
"We have to go, Tom," Reason said, grabbing hold of him.
His mother looked confused, but not disconnected, not lost. "What's going on?"
"Why can't we take Mum?" Tom asked.
"She's not magic anymore."
"We'll be back," Tom said. "Through the front door next time. I'll explain everything. Dad too…I love you." He kissed her cheek, but then Reason grabbed his hand and pulled, zooming him across the red terra-cotta-tiled roofs of Leichhardt and back to Esmeralda's kitchen. He hoped them using magic to leave wouldn't drive his mum mad again. She didn't know about magic. She didn't know why she'd gone mad.
It occurred to Tom for the first time that his mother's madness might have spared him. Jay-Tee and Reason had both had such a rough time because of their magic relatives. But not Tom. It was almost like his mum had sacrificed herself. Just for him.
* * *
"Is she okay?" Jay-Tee asked, rushing up and hugging him hugely.
Tom nodded, hugging her back. "I think so. It was a bit weird. I mean, she's not mad anymore." He could still feel his mother's tears on his face.
"It worked?" Esmeralda asked.
"Yes," Reason said. "There's no magic left in her." She turned to Tom. "Are you certain you want to keep yours? This is your last chance."
"You keep saying that. What do you
mean,
my last chance? Where are you going?"
"I'm changing fast. When I've changed completely, I won't want the same things. I'm not sure I'll care enough to do anything for you. I'm going to turn my own magic off before that happens."
"You what?" Tom, Esmeralda, and Jason Blake all said at the same time.
"Magic is wrong," she said once again. "I don't want it."
"And you can't change me once your magic's gone." It was obvious, but Tom had to say it out loud. He felt dizzy. His mother. Her face. She'd looked…He didn't remember a time when he hadn't been afraid of his mum. He didn't remember ever wanting her to hold him. And now he did. Because her magic was gone.
"But what about Esmeralda?" Jay-Tee asked. "She's still magic. And your mother."
"You don't want to do this, Reason," Jason Blake said.
"Why?" Esmeralda asked. "Is it really necessary?"
"Magic is wrong. It's always been wrong. I don't want to become the magic."
"No," Jason Blake said. "It's not wrong. It's beautiful. Why turn it off, Reason? You'd be throwing centuries away! Why would you do that? Give it to me instead."
