She wasn't crying anymore. That hadn't lasted very long. She wondered if she was about to get her period or something. This wasn't her. Having tantrums, slamming doors, crying over nothing. Well, not nothing— her whole life gone splat was not nothing— but she hadn't cried when her dad started beating her. She hadn't cried when she ran away from home and thought she'd never see her brother again. She hadn't cried over Jason Blake stealing her magic. Or over her dad dying. Or when she thought
she
was going to die. Except for the last few days, Jay-Tee honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd cried. Now all she seemed to do was blub.
She got up and opened the door. Tom stood there, mouth open, still red in the face from yelling. He closed his mouth, then opened it again, then closed it. She could see all the different thoughts flickering across his face: being mad at her, worried about her, wanting to make it up, wanting to kiss her, back to mad again. "You okay?" he said at last.
"Yeah." No. Jay-Tee wasn't magic anymore. And Tom was. She was jealous of him. She was sorry for him. She didn't know what she was.
"I'm really sorry."
"You should be." She leaned forward and kissed him. A demure little mouth-closed kiss.
"That's better," he said, reaching forward and taking one of her curls in his fingers. He stretched it out and then let go so that it bounced, which normally would've made her totally lose it. But she didn't mind Tom doing it.
"I'll be careful," he said. "I really, really will. Until you and Reason showed up I always had been. Careful, I mean."
"I'm the bad influence, then?"
"Reckon. Before you came I hadn't hardly done anything. Catholic girls!"
She smacked him lightly. "Least I'm going to heaven."
"You'll be lonely there without me."
She crossed herself and smacked him again.
"Reckon there'll be any kissing in heaven?" Tom asked.
"Nope. Angels are beyond earthly things like kissing."
"So we should get as much in now as we can, eh? Before it's too late?"
Jay-Tee laughed and opened the door wide for Tom to come in.
"Sorry 'bout the tantrum."
"'S'okay. I was being a dropkick." He kissed both her cheeks and then her chin, her nose, her mouth. She opened her lips a little, kissing him back. "But I'm not sorry I made it. You look gorgeous."
She ran a finger down his cheek. "Plus how am I going to get the damn thing off without you around? It's lovely, but I want to change back into normal clothes."
She turned her back to him and Tom started to unbutton her.
"Mere called a few times."
"What'd she say?"
Tom undid the last button and she shrugged the gorgeous top off and put on another one of Mere's T-shirts. "She was just checking on me. Wanted to know if I was okay. Blah, blah, blah."
"Did you speak to Reason too?"
Jay-Tee shook her head. "No, she didn't mention Reason. I wonder if she's still…"
"Still what?"
"Human."
"What do you mean?" Tom asked. "Of course Reason's still human."
Jay-Tee didn't know what to say. Reason had looked so strange. All glowing and gold. At least she had until she'd turned Jay-Tee's magic off.
"What did Esmeralda say about Reason's mum?"
"She didn't mention her either. Or Jason Blake. And she would have, right? If they'd found him, I mean."
"I guess." Tom looked down. "Hope they're okay."
"Sure they are," Jay-Tee said. "I mean, Reason's like a superhero now, right?"
"You keep saying so."
"'Cause it's true. Anyway, I'm glad you're here to wait with me."
"Um," Tom told his feet.
"What?"
"Well, that's the thing. I kind of rushed through brekkie with Da. You know? So I could make your top. And he wants me to come home and then stay for dinner and stay tonight as well. He said he missed me. And it's true I haven't seen him properly since Reason got here."
"But." Jay-Tee really hated the idea of spending the night alone.
"I'll call you. I'll go to bed early and I'll call you straight away, okay?"
Jay-Tee didn't say anything, but she was really hating Tom's dad.
"We can talk until we fall asleep and then I'll race around first thing in the morning. Just call me if Esmeralda and Reason show up or if they call or anything, okay?"
"Sure," Jay-Tee said. "But what's your number?"
Tom went out into the hall and returned with the notebook from beside the phone. "This first one's my house and the second one is the mobile."
He tore the paper off and handed it to her. There were two love hearts under the numbers. Jay-Tee grinned and mock-punched him.
"It's going to be okay," Tom said.
"I hope so," Jay-Tee said.
She walked downstairs with him hand in hand. He climbed out the window to the back porch and she went through the door. They kissed for a while, neither of them wanting to stop, until finally Tom pulled away. "I've really got to go."
"I know," she said. "See you tomorrow."
"Talk to you tonight." He jumped off the porch steps and landed with a soft squelch. The rain had slowed some, but he was still pretty wet before he was over the fence.
"See ya!" she called.
"Later!"
She realized that she wasn't worried about Reason. Reason was so powerful now, she could take Jason Blake. She could take anyone. She could turn magic off. She could probably do anything she wanted to do.
Jay-Tee had been right all along: Reason
was
going to save them. It was just that being saved was not so wonderful as she had imagined.
She missed her magic.
26
Sarafina Cansino
I staggered, tripping over a
tiny rock wall into greenery. Ferns, I thought, as I closed my eyes and slipped into Cansino's space, so comfortingly free of sound and sensation. I took in the patterns of light around me: A door close by: 539 lights, divisible by 7, by 11, lots of pretty patterns there. And Sarafina. Her magic frail and tiny, her Fibonacci pattern starting to fray.
Sarafina was calling to me. Her words floated by. I pushed out of Cansino's world to where she was. I felt cool soil between my fingers, leaves against my face, rocks digging into my legs, but somehow muted, as if the real world were coated with the other world. Behind me she laughed.
"Hey, Reason," Sarafina said. "Get up!"
I rolled over, shifted onto a path made up of lots of tiny pebbles. Sarafina held out her hands to help me up.
"I'm here," I said.
"Yes, you are," she answered. "But it's not very comfy there. Come over here; it's much better," she said, pointing to a long wooden seat with shiny red cushions on it.
"I'm here to save you!"
She grinned and pulled me up, folding me into her arms. "Of course you are! Hey, darlingest daughter. Glorious child. So grand to see you! Though you're
so
slow— I thought you'd never get here." She squeezed me and then held me out at arm's length. "You have no hair! You weren't even that bald when you were a baby! But it looks wonderful. I love the bronze look. Very you. Have you grown? No, you can't have. It's only been a couple of weeks, hasn't it? But still, it looks like you have. It could be the baby inside you. Like mother, like daughter. What shall we call her? Glory? Brilliance? Beauty? Fibonacci?"
She looked and sounded just like the old Sarafina. She was rocking from heel to toe, her feet moving as fast as her mouth, giving me no time to respond to any of her questions. Full of energy, the way she always had been. Her eyes were bright. They looked into mine. "Extraordinary. Alexander said your eyes would change. But I had no idea. They're beautiful."
"They're— "
"And your skin." She touched my arm. "It's like you have no pores."
"Not
like
. They're gone. I'm poreless."
"The hair on your arms is gone too. Not just your head." She ran her finger over my scalp and then my forearm. "Not a single one. How odd. But it suits you. Come, sit down," she said, dragging me to the seat and chattering at me all the while. She folded her legs up underneath herself, wrapping the fabric of her skirt around her feet.
"Let me give you more mag— "
"No rush, darling. Isn't this lovely?"
"Well, yes, but— "
"Just look at it, Reason. See those fountains?"
We were sitting in a walled garden, with two fountains and a stream circling from one to the other. Plants everywhere. Many ferns, and vines I didn't recognise climbing the stone wall. The air shimmered, so it had to be warm. Little brown lizards skittered across the tiny pebbles that made up the garden paths and darted into the greenery.
There were butterflies, but they looked nothing like the butterflies I'd seen on the other side of the lift. I could hear traffic noise, honking, wheels on bitumen, but I couldn't see any of it.
"Are you listening, darling?"
I hadn't been. "I'm sorry. You don't have much time left. I need to— "
Someone gasped. I looked up at an Asian woman wearing a long, tight skirt in bright colours, and a white blouse, and carrying a tray. She was staring at me.
Sarafina laughed. "She loves your goldness!"
The woman lowered her head and placed the tray in front of us, then turned, revealing black hair spiralled on the nape of her neck. She retreated up the path to the house she must have emerged from. It had a low, sloping roof and a wall of glass cast in shadows.
"More tea," Sarafina announced, reaching down to pick up one of the tiny teacups. "Shall I pour you a cuppa? It's awfully sweet."
I shook my head. The magic within her was breaking up, her Fibonaccis unravelling. Just as Jay-Tee's had. My mother was dying. "You have to let me fix— "
Sarafina waved my words away. "There's plenty of time."
"No, Sarafi— "
"Even if you don't want it, they'll bring it to you. There'll be food along in a second," Sarafina said, screwing up her nose. Sarafina had never been much interested in food.
"Do you want to die?"
"Don't be silly, Reason. I'm not going to die."
She was wrong about that; I could see her pattern unraveling before my eyes.
"Do you know where we are? Bangkok. Outside these walls is chaos. Utter chaos. More people than I've ever seen in my entire life. Far too many. It's too much— I'm still not used to so many people. But I like it in here. The walls go all the way around, and you can't see the tiniest bit of the crazy city. It's just fountains and butterflies and giggling servants. Alexander's house is calm and full of number patterns. Especially the tiles. Wait till I show you the Fibonacci bathroom.
"His servants are all very kind. They smile a lot. They're always bringing me little things to eat. Pretty food on pretty platters. They get sad when I don't eat it all. But I can't explain that I only need enough fuel to keep going and that I don't really care what it looks like, because none of them speak English. Though actually that's kind of a relief, and I've learned to put my palms together, bow my head, and say, '
Kop kun kah
,' which I'm fairly sure means 'thank you.' They'll be thrilled that you're here. You'll love all the pretty food."
I didn't bother telling her I didn't eat anymore. I wondered if I ever would again. The stones that made up the narrow path that wound through the garden had felt so rounded and smooth. Or was that just the residue of Cansino's space around them, forever between me and the rest of the world?
More of Sarafina's pattern had unravelled as she spoke. Why wouldn't she let me save her? I was here to rescue her and she just wanted to chatter. She was just as she had been. The old Sarafina. No longer mad. Or at least she wasn't staring off into space, not recognising me.
She'd probably always been a bit mad, I realised. I'd simply never spent enough time with other people before to understand just how odd she was. But even as a small kid I knew she was different. I remembered one time when I was really little— I think it was up in Arnhemland— we'd just travelled three hours on foot to get to a billabong. She spent the whole journey telling me about it, jabbering like she was now about the carpet of lily pads, the brolgas, and the jacana birds that walked across the pads so that it looked like they were walking on water.
But when we finally got there, we couldn't find any of the birds she'd told me about. Sarafina made us walk on to the next billabong, and when there were only spoonbills, she pushed on to the next one and then the next, until it was dark and I was so tired and hungry I cried.
