Maggie for Hire (18 page)

I lowered my hands a little and looked at him skeptically, “Now, I don’t have much room to argue, because you’ve got an arrow pointed at my heart, but do you mind me asking why?”

“It’s full of holy water.  If you are a creature of darkness, you’ll not be able to touch it.”

The fountain was hewn from stone and the clean looking water bubbled softly from terraced level to terraced level, but I could see that the original design had been altered to feature religious symbols and wards.

“It’s not poison to people?” I asked.

“Not to people,” he said.

The innkeeper gave me the room to make up my mind, but I could see he wasn’t going to budge.  I was going to drink or I was going to die and he was fine with whatever I decided.  I gave Killian a shrug, “Shall we get on with it?  I’m a little thirsty.”

He looked at the fountain, “We do not appear to have much choice.”

He and I walked over and stood at the edge for a moment.  Man, I hoped it wasn’t some spelled potion that was going to turn us into mud statues or something.  In unison, we dipped our hands into it and raised the liquid to our lips.

Water.  It was just plain, old-fashioned, holy water.

I actually reached down and scooped up another handful.

We turned back to the innkeeper.  He had lowered his crossbow and walked over to us with his hand out, “My name’s Gus.  I apologize.  We can’t be too careful around here anymore, not since the vampires moved into the mountains.  We can’t even trust the sun to reveal the dark ones.  It is a sorry day that I should have to greet weary travelers in such a manner.”

I took his hand and shook it, “We understand completely.  This is Killian, I’m Maggie.”

“An elf come all this way?” asked Gus, noting Killian’s ears.

“An elf and a tracker,” I replied.  “We have had our own fair share of scuffles with vampires.  In fact, they are the reason we’re here.”

“You’re not in cahoots with them, are you?” asked Gus, his friendly manner turning a little cautiously frosty.  This guy had a hair trigger suspicion button just waiting to be pushed.

“They kidnapped my mother,” I said.  “We’re here to get her back.”

“Your mum,” said the innkeeper, rubbing his jowls and shaking his head, “I’m afraid you’ll need all the help you can get.”

“Tell me about it.”

“If you can follow me across my threshold without an invitation, I’ll have some breakfast for you and a place where you can put your feet up.  There’s not many of us here, but we do what we can, and any enemy of our enemy is a friend of ours.”

Chapter 41

We were comfortably tucked in at the table as Gus placed plates heaped with scrambled eggs and skillet potatoes before us.  I’d never been so hungry in my entire life.

He sat down as we ate and started unfolding a brief accounting of recent local vampire lore.

“They moved in about six months ago.  Took over the ruins of an old fortress up the mountainside a bit.  Used to be a stronghold for other demon types.  It had been abandoned for decades, but they had it good as new practically overnight.  They remind me of wasps building a paper hive.  It’s a terrible place, vampires flying in and out of it at all hours.  Folks say that the new master is a creature named Vaclav.  They tried to create trouble when they first came, but they’ve left us well enough alone now that they understand we won’t be caught unawares.”

He jerked his thumb to some rather nasty looking weaponry hanging next to every single door, window, and fireplace in the inn.  I certainly wouldn’t want to run into this guy on a dark and stormy night.

“Grabbed a couple kids in those first days.  I don’t know much, but I’m smart enough to know you don’t go pissing off a mother if you want to last on this Side.  Older vampires would have known, but these were young ones, recently formed, hungry and dumb.  We got ‘em the next night they tried to come back.  A few tried to come back for revenge.  We got them, too.”

I threw down my fork, “Well, they’re about to discover they’re not going to last very long on this Side if they go pissing off daughters, too.”  I looked over at Killian, “We need to hit them during the day when their strength is weakest.”

Gus held up his hands, “Now, now.  You’re not speaking of storming that fortress all by yourselves there, lassie...”

“Oh, that is precisely what she is speaking of,” replied Killian.

“I’ve got to,” I said to Gus.  “They’ve got my mom.”

“You won’t last ten minutes,” he warned, wagging his finger at me, “Believe you me, there has been many a traveler come to take those creatures down, but none came back.  I can’t let you go in there guns blazing.  Your poor mother would never forgive me.”

“What would you suggest?” I asked, being smart enough to listen when someone older and wiser than me told me I was a dumbass.

“Let me loan you some horses.  Your car would be limping along with busted tires before you got around the second bend.  I can draw you a map.  You’ll also need some disguises...”

“If you can furnish us with appropriate garb, I can take care of the rest,” said Killian. 

I looked at him in surprise.

“Fairy glamour.  It is not just for seducing the ladies,” he replied.

Naturally.

“Okay, Gus.  We’ve got some fairy glamour and some horses.  What else?” I asked.

“I assume you’re armed?”

“To the teeth.”  I paused as Killian and Gus looked at me, “No pun intended.”

“Then all you need is my good wishes,” said Gus as he pushed himself up from the table.  “You’re lucky you’re going in now.  The sky was dark with vampires flying out yesterday.  I would suggest getting this rescue done before they return.”

“Well, nothing like a deadline to get me motivated,” I paused again. “No pun...”

Gus just cut me off, “I’ll make sure there are clean linens on the beds for when you return.”

“Plan for three guests,” I replied, giving him a firm handshake to seal the deal. 

Chapter 42

The monstrosity of a castle hung on the side of a cliff.  It was like if a boulder and a gorilla got together and had a squat, fat baby building.  Even though the afternoon sun was high in the sky, the entire place was shrouded in an unnatural gloom that made my skin crawl - as they say, the better to eat you with, my dear.

We had left our horses hitched up the road while we wandered to the overlook for this little reconnaissance/stalling mission.  Normal vampires would have just transformed into bats and then flown to the castle, but our disguises weren’t that good.  I hoped they would accept that we were out-of-towners in for a visit.

“Killian, this was a really dumb idea and I’m thinking I would like to reconsider the plan.”

He patted me firmly on the shoulder, “I am sure this is not the first time this castle has been stormed.”

“Do you think anyone ever won?”

“They were all probably eaten alive at the following new moon banquet.”

“Peachy,” I replied.

Killian gave me a smile, “The advantage we have is that we are not storming the castle.”

“Man, I hope they don’t figure out that we’re here...” I said, staring up at the dark parapets as shadowy figures paced between the towers.

“Our disguises should protect us.”

Killian’s outfit sure had me fooled.  If I hadn’t known it was him, I would have been looking for something stake-like right about now.  His wavy blonde hair had been replaced by a shiny black mane that would put a Geisha to shame.  His teeth were ever so pointy and his eyeballs had that eerie red glint to them that made my stomach clench in a whole “kill or be killed” sort of way.

“Want to know a secret?” I asked.

“Yes.” 

“You’re totally creeping me out.”

He smiled at me, “The feeling is mutual.”

I was now a blondie with an alabaster undead pallor.  My jeans and t-shirt had been replaced by a Victorian style riding frock in stylish black lace and swaths of material, perfect for protecting sensitive skin from the sun, from neck to toe.  A dandy little top hat was perched upon my pile of Gibson curls.  I flicked the black veil back over my face with a black-gloved hand and climbed the path back over to the main road to continue our ride to the castle.

Horses don’t particularly enjoy hanging out amongst the damned, but these were two work nags.  They had obviously seen worse and I’m sure would use the story of “that time we carried two crazy people into the heart of the vampires’ lair” to entertain the other barnyard animals for years.

Killian looked over at me and I mustered up a little “here goes nuthin” spirit.  I can’t say that I was particularly saddened that our horses were dragging their feet.

But unfortunately, we eventually did arrive at the castle.  Our mounts’ hooves clomped hollowly across the drawbridge and into the covered courtyard of the keep.

The place was deserted one minute and then, in a rustle of wings, we were surrounded by a pretty serious crowd of vampire guards the next.

I looked over at our menacing welcome party with what I hoped was a haughty expression.

“State your business,” hissed a weaselly little vampire with bad skin.  His head was totally level with my foot and I fantasized bashing in those man-eating teeth with the toe of my dainty little shoe.

“How dare you even ask,” Killian replied as he vaulted off of his horse and came over to offer me his hand.

“You are trespassing...”

“We bear important news for the master,” I snapped back at him.

The group hissed at me as they writhed in a seething attack formation.

“Don’t make me bite you, young one,” I said as I removed my gloves finger by finger.  “You will attend to our horses.  You will give us room to rest.  And then you will bring us to your master.”

“And why should I do that?” he replied.

I leaned in close so that he could see I meant business.  I could even feel my fangs lengthen and, judging from the way his eyes widened, I guess it was kinda scary effective.

“Because I can walk in daylight,” I replied.

Well, that just set the group of little bloodsucking bastards off into a tizzy.  Killian handed one of them the reins to our mounts.

“Don’t eat them,” I called out.  “We want them for later.”

The vampires hissed with laughter.  Oh, funny funny with the eating horses humor.  Dumb vampires.

We followed the weaselly one into the castle.  He led us up some stone staircases and down hallways.  We passed truly gruesome artwork that some sicko decided was worthy of being preserved forever in oil and canvas and framed in gold gilt.  I was almost thankful when the weaselly one piped up to express what was weighing heavily upon his twisted little heart.

“Our master will be most anxious to meet with you,” he said.  “He is not here, but we will send out a messenger as soon as night falls.  You should rest.  You could give me the object that allows you to walk in daylight, and I could keep it in a safe place.”

I gave him a smile, “You are so helpful.  Do you want the object?”

He leaned forward as Killian rolled his eyes, knowing where I was going.

“This is what lets me walk in sunlight.”  I pulled out my stake, “It is called ‘mortality’.”

And with that, I nailed him clean through the heart.

As the vampire fell, Killian shook his head, “Did you have to blow our cover quite so soon?”

“It was only going to get more difficult to get rid of him from here on in,” I replied.  “Grab an end.”

Killian dutifully walked over to the other side and helped me shove the corpse behind a tapestry.  I hoped the cleaning crew wouldn’t be in until morning and all of the other vampire guests were too snooty to bother themselves with the world’s largest undead dust bunny.

I wiped my hands off on my velvet skirts as I scanned the hallway, “Now, if I were a master vampire, where would I hide a jade lion?”

And then something clicked in my head.  It was like my nose was a magnet and I suddenly could feel north.

“It’s this way,” I said, grabbing Killian’s arm and walking him swiftly down the hall.  God bless my family’s gift, I was better than a bloodhound.

We didn’t get too far before I saw some vampire shadows on the wall moving quickly in our general direction.  I shoved Killian into a doorway and planted my wrist on his lips before he could ask what the hell I was doing.  I leaned against him like he was making an enjoyable meal out of me.  I let my lids half close and my eyes glaze over as an elegantly dressed couple passed by.  They smiled in warm approval, as if to say, “Ah, I remember the days of opening up my beloved’s arteries and sucking out her vital fluids.”

As soon as they passed I pulled away, but Killian wrapped an arm around my waist and drew me back with a twinkle in his eye.

“We don’t have time for this—-” I protested.

He shut my lips with a wrist to my mouth and went slack, leaning his head upon my shoulder.  I gave a little finger wave to a second couple that passed by.  They seemed like maybe they were a little less nostalgic about the good old days.  She gave her escort a glare and I knew someone was in for it tonight.  Killian felt me relax as soon as they were out of view.

“We always have time for this,” he whispered and planted a kiss beneath my ear.  He then grabbed my hand and pulled me out into the hallway.  “Which way?” he asked.

Fucking elves.

I let the focus settle back into my bones and we were off to the races again.  There seemed to be a general pattern of “down” to our direction.  Down hallways... down staircases... Whenever we could duck from sight we did, but it seemed like most of the vampires were more interested in getting where they were going and not standing around making idle chitchat with their fellow damned.

Finally, we came to a bolted door with big metal bands and spiky things.  That homing instinct was screaming at me that we needed to get through it.

“Okay, Killian, you’re up.”

He recoiled from the door.  “I cannot touch it,” he replied.

“What are you talking-” and then it hit me.  Cold iron.  The entire door was made up of cold iron – perfect for keeping the fairies at bay.  Hopefully, the master had banked upon the probability that a human would never have made it this far.