Mage of Shadows (22 page)

"Why not?" Sarah asked suddenly from her spot down the table, I glanced at her face to see she actually appeared interested. It wasn't really surprising to me at the time; I had pegged her for something of a gossip.

I shrugged, not willing to feed the rumor machine, "We're just friends, there's nothing been anything more between us than that. Plus, Lizzy is really focused on her schoolwork anyways."

"Like you're not," Raj snorted, "What's the Latin equivalent of 'gay for books?' That's what you two are. David too." No one took his taunting bait. Sarah didn't ask me any more questions, and seemed satisfied with my answer.

Jimmy grinned at me from across the table, still ignorant of our impending problem. I ignored the smile and sent him a quick text message, since obviously best friend telepathy hadn't quite kicked in for us yet.

Less than a minute later he looked down at his buzzing phone and read the text. His eyes shot back up to meet mine in sudden surprise and alarm. I groaned inwardly, subtlety just wasn't Jimmy's strong suit, he had no poker face. Everyone who was even paying half-attention to Swann at the moment his phone buzzed had noticed.

"What is up with you guys and texts?" Tammy stared at Jimmy's face, "Now you look like Nick." The question was mild, but I could almost hear the mental cogs turning in her mind.

"Nothing…" Swann muttered, "It's nothing…"

"Strat's obviously told Swann that he's deeply in love with him," Raj chimed in, of course, looking for any excuse to look away from his studies, "And now Swann is contemplating how to tell Nishi that he's really into guys."

"What's with you and gay jokes today, anyways?" Tammy asked.

"Today its gay jokes, tomorrow it might be ginger jokes," Raj waved a hand dismissively, "After that, who knows? I haven't done blondes in a while, and that's always a good day."

"Raj," David said irritably as everyone on our side of the long table glared at him, "Do us all a favor and shut up. We have a physio test tomorrow, in case you forgot."

The brown boy looked completely calm as he leaned back in his seat and yawned, "Bro, don't worry so much. We'll study all night and kill it."

"David will study and kill it." Sinan countered, "You will probably get B-minus if you are lucky."

"Lies." Raj said immediately, "I'm smarter than David. David, back me up."

"He's smarter than me." David repeated monotonously without looking up. I admired his ability to focus, even while keeping up with the group conversation. If I had a test the next day I would have found a nice little corner to hide in, yet David seemed to have mastered the ability to balance a social life with a studious one. An admirable talent I was trying, yet still failing to replicate.

It wasn't even a lie when I set my pen down and said, "I can't study here, I'm going to The Corner."

"We'll come too." Jimmy said immediately, referring to himself and a confused Nishi, who no doubt was wondering exactly what the text had contained to get her boyfriend so wound-up all of a sudden.

"Ah, The Corner," Raj said in mock horror, "The one place I dare not follow you- lest I actually be forced to fall silent under the summated glares of our fine institution's more scholastically-inclined populace." He paused for a moment, "Scholastically-inclined is a euphemism for nerds, in case you all didn't get that."

I packed my stuff for transport and gave my roommate a tight smile, "Thank you Raj. It isn't even make-fun-of-nerds day."

Raj waggled a finger, "That is where you're wrong, Strat. Every day is make –fun-of-nerds day."

We took our leave of the table. Nishi matched the hurried pace we set, but was still no doubt confused by it.

The Corner, as we had taken to calling the only real section of the library that followed the silent study rule religiously, was empty save but for a few of the normal patrons. It was still pretty early in the morning. Our approach was greeted by tight smiles and slow nods. We were accepted here, but it was a tentative sort of acceptance because along with us we usually brought some form of conversation, inaudible as we tried to be.

Or worse sometimes, we brought our noisy friends who just couldn't seem to appreciate the quiet beauty that was The Corner. The first and only time Raj ever came to sit here, his chatter had become annoying to the point that one student became fed up and called security. After the sheer embarrassment of being kicked out of our beloved Corner, we never let him approach again.

He took it with surprising grace and acceptance. Beneath his bluster and callous nature, Raj really was a decent friend… it was just hard to see some of the time.

Most of the time.

Almost all of the time.

But doesn't everyone have someone like that?

We dumped our stuff on one of the tables and retreated even further back, for in the furthest area of The Corner was a small array of comfy old couches large enough for a group of no more than five or six to sit on. Buffered by the quiet study area, it was dead silent here. Perfect for whenever one needed a short rest from the dull routine of notes and books. Also perfect when one wanted to have a private conversation.

No sooner than the moment we had sank into the tired and ripped pleather, did Nishi demand in an uncharacteristically fierce whisper, "Will someone please tell me what's going on?!"

It didn't take long for us to explain. This was a moment that we had all hoped and feared coming. Nishi had approached Danae herself about joining APA, and no doubt would soon be contacted as well.

"So this is it, then." Nishi murmured after we finished, "It's finally happening. We're going to rush."

Jimmy gently covered her hand which was currently clenched atop her knee with one of his own, "Nishi," He said, his voice soothing, "You don't have to do this. They don't know for sure about you, even if they've guessed about me. You can still back out, me and Stratus will be fine."

I nodded, "He's right, Nishi. We know enough now to be sure one hundred percent that this is going to be a risk. You don't have to take that risk."

Her eyes searched out our own, seemingly forged of pure onyx steel, "We're in this together, all of us, in case you've forgotten. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean you have to protect me."

"I'm not." I replied honestly, "If Vik hadn't named Jimmy; I would have been telling him the same thing I'm telling you right now. You haven't really met any of these guys yet… even the ones that seem decent are dangerous. If it wasn't for the fact that I'm worried what Vik would do, I would honestly be debating not going myself. It's not a matter of courage, it's just self-preservation."

"We're not trying to protect you because you're a girl, sweetie." Jimmy consoled, "We're trying to protect you because we care about you."

The Indian girl shook her head, looking even more determined if possible, "I have to do this. It's the whole reason I came here."

I was legitimately confused by her sheer determination. It was impressive, but puzzled it me, "Why?" I had to ask, "Why do you need to join?"

Unlike Swann or me, Nishi preferred to almost never discuss our gifts, even when we had privacy such as this. Swann seemed equally uncomfortable discussing it whenever his girlfriend was present. I just assumed that it was a particular aspect of Nishtha's life that she didn't really care for, but was stuck with. That didn't mesh with her absolute resolve here.

The couple shared a quick glance, a fraction of a second in length, yet it seemed to convey something that I didn't quite understand. Whatever mental telepathy I lacked with Swann, he apparently had in spades with Nishtha. They turned simultaneously to me, a resolved front.

"Because Jimmy is putting himself in danger," Nishi said firmly, "And I'm not letting him do it alone."

I looked to Swann, and he just shrugged, "It's her choice, I'm not going to stop her."

I stared. Someone was lying here, possibly two someones. One of the reasons I coveted my Normal friends despite having these two, as wonderful as they were, was the fact that I always felt like the odd man out in this magical trio. It wasn't wholly their fault, their relationship had buried roots years deep that I couldn't even comprehend how tightly intertwined they were. I had once had similar roots, but they had been torn asunder and I had regrettably been left alone.

Jimmy and Nishi kept secrets from me, but this was by far the most blatant and interesting one yet. No doubt the lengths they would go to protect it was an obvious signal of its importance.

I wasn't perfect. One of my many shortcomings was this; although I sought truth curiously, I did so cautiously. After all, what had killed the cat but curiosity? I didn't even have nine lives to draw on to save me. So I shied away from uncomfortable situations such as this, letting sleeping dogs lie as they would. Nishi and Jimmy would come to trust me eventually. Why stir up the pot by demanding them to reveal all their secrets in the name of friendship? It wasn't as if I didn't keep secrets from them…

I nodded, both to them and myself. It made perfect sense. Leave them be, what harm could come of it?

It had been the wrong decision to make.

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

For the rest of the day my thoughts whirled and spun around my head like dirty clothes in a washing machine. My worried frustrations about the APA meeting tonight clashed with the studying I was trying to accomplish, and the wandering tangents my mind kept traveling off to, imagining a future where I wasn't so isolated, a lonely island amongst Normal people with happy, fulfilling relationships.

Jimmy sat across from me at our spot in The Corner, tapping a nervous drumbeat with his pen against his spiral notebook. Other than that, he looked perfectly calm, dead silent and appearing to be hard at work studying for some math class that was already far beyond my ability to understand. Nishtha claimed the vegetable Lo Mein at Dynasty that she had eaten had made her ill, and retreated back to her dorm to recover. I secretly wondered if she just didn't want to sit around in the uncomfortable silence any longer, not that I could blame her.

Despite the hours of quiet, I got very little studying done. Today, information didn't seem to stick or hold my attention; my thoughts muddled and unfocused. I would read something, and then lose it in short-term memory minutes later. Frankly, I just didn't care about Biology, English, or Classics enough to study for them at the moment.

I came upon the grim realization that once again, magic had become the most important thing in my life. Studying couldn't compare, and was shunted to the back of my mind.

We finally decided to abandon our failed attempts to study to head for my dorm to try and relax until the meet time.

To my surprise, I found our path blocked surreptitiously by Carmen Munez, who looked quietly determined even though her eyes flicked back and forth as if to see if anyone was watching her deliberate decision to stop us.

"Nick," She said quietly, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course." I said with a nod.

The dark-eyed girl gave Swann an apologetic look, "Alone, please."

Jimmy nodded slowly to me before he said, "I'll wait downstairs for you." My bespectacled friend then descended down the steps two at a time, leaving us alone by the trio of elevators.

"You shouldn't go tonight." Carmen said abruptly, as soon as Swann was out of earshot.

I tilted my head at her, "It's too late now, Carmen. You know that."

The girl stepped closer to me and gripped my bare wrist tightly, and to my shock and anger I could feel more than a single scar rented across her palm now.

"I should have told you back then, that this could possibly be you." Carmen confirmed my visible fears with a sad smile, "I was ashamed, I didn't want you to know because I didn't really know you… but you're really a decent guy, Stratus. Yasmina and Mehdy agree with me that you shouldn't have to get into this. There's too much of a chance that you're going to get hurt, and we're sick of watching people we care about get hurt, or- or end up like…" Carmen faltered, but I understood what she meant.

"I'm already on their radar." I replied quietly, making no move to remove her hand from my arm. If held, the jolting buzz usually became very uncomfortable… but I was surprised to find that between Carmen and I, it wasn't.

Instead of mildly shocking, it was instead a warm and pleasant. Mages didn't keep contact with each other for long; it usually just ended up being painful. Two wary minds scraping together, it felt as if someone was attempting to chisel away at the walled barrier that naturally existed in your mind. At best it was an annoyance.

However… when you innately trusted the other User, an uncommon commodity amongst our kind, the connection turned from a jarring irritation to a repetitive resonant murmur beneath the skin. It was akin to sharing a single strange heartbeat, a connection unlike any other on Earth.

The Magus Touch.

She seemed as surprised by it as I was.

Trust Carmen? I barely knew her. But I suppose I could always be counted on as a sucker for a pretty face. That didn't explain her apparent belief that I was trustworthy. It could only work both ways.

For a moment, we stayed connected, a quiet peace that I hadn't shared with someone else in a very long time. Then, I saw Carmen shake her head as if waking from a dream. She quickly removed her hand, backing away from me as if she couldn't quite believe what just passed between the two of us.

"You're right." The girl said quietly, "You aren't safe here. Not as an Aether… you're too tempting to them. But if you left, if you found another coven, a better one… they could protect you."

I thought about it, and actually considered the idea of leaving the university… I couldn't grasp it.

It was unfathomable to me, I realized. It had been easy to leave Virginia, I had lost what I had held dear and really had nothing left. Here, I had found something… made something.

I was sure if I could call it beautiful, but it was special, dear to me. I had made a life here, strange as it was. Yes, I had enemies, but there were people I owed my loyalty to. Not only Nishi and Jimmy, but my Normal friends as well. And- I glanced up at Carmen's desperate eyes- to several possible others as well.