Mage of Shadows (17 page)

Maria didn't make any move to talk to me after class, and I didn't take the step to do so myself. She was out the door a full ten seconds ahead of me and I didn't walk quicker to catch up. Reggie always said I had a problem capitalizing on obvious opportunities, especially with girls.

Instead I walked several heads behind in the small throng of a crowd that came with the classes that ended alongside mine in Manoogian. I zipped up my coat when I walked outside and shivered at the biting cold. I quickened my pace, eager to finish the ten minute or so walk to the library where my friends and warmth were waiting for me. Maybe I did understand the need to rush… there was always more to do, a better place to be than where you were. That was where humans derived their obsessive need to move forward.

I passed General Lectures and was walking across the crosswalk when I felt it. It was a sort of niggling feeling in the back of my mind, the kind that one gets when they've forgotten something but can't remember what. It wasn't really a magical thing, just a sense that I needed to remember something I had seen.

I stood still for a moment in the middle of the crosswalk, until the impatient beep of a car hurried me along again. I suddenly had the strange urge to go to the bathroom.

The feeling subsided without completely disappearing, leaving me feeling a bit disconcerted. Was I imagining things? I shook my head and ducked into the warmth of the Engineering building, knowing from a previous visit that there was a bathroom just five feet down the hall from the entrance. My feet clicked on the tiles, lonely echoing sounds that made up the entirety of noise in the hallway, which was otherwise deserted.

The bathroom was equally deserted, but when I stood at the urinal I felt at a loss again, the need to go was gone. Why did I come to the bathroom when I didn't need to use it?

Before I could contemplate my irrationality any further, the bathroom door swung open again and someone, an older male student with dirty blond hair stepped inside.

He glanced at me, "Anyone else in here?" His voice sounding familiar, but I couldn't place it.

I shook my head without pause, without thinking.

What the hell? 

The student grinned, and as he showed me his teeth, I recognized him. My heart began to pound rapidly, reminiscent of the horrible night I had first met him and saw the playful grin for the first time.

The door sounded particularly sinister as it shut, and it wasn't even a surprise when I felt him focus his power and caused the locking mechanism to seal the bathroom door to anyone who tried to open it.

It was only shocking that I hadn't identified him faster, but it had been dark that night. I could still remember the lines of his face, etched out in harsh detail under the radiant glow that was his dangerous gift. That face had haunted my dreams more than once. It was the mage I had met that disastrous night with the thugs and had never encountered again. The User who had made me fear for my life, induced my paranoia and prevented me from getting a good night's sleep for weeks.

I took an angry step forward.

He tsked and shook a finger at me. The User calmly flashed ablaze in less than a second, and shoved me back against the wall to hold me there as if I was magnetized to it. Telekinesis never felt as cool when it was being applied against you.

In light of my helplessness, I should have felt fear. But all I found now was fury. I had finally gotten a hold my life here at the university. I had spoken to Vik and was supposed to be square with Archanos. He had no right to do this to me. I was supposed to be one of them now!

I gathered that rage against the sheer injustice of the situation and focused it into my magical control. The humming presence of the field turned to the angry screech of a buzz saw in my mind as I fought for control of the power that held me. He wasn't the only mage in the room, dammit. I wasn't going to played with like this anymore, not if I could help it.

He glanced at me, interested, but it was the fascinated interest of a child examining a newly found specimen of insect- before he squashed it underfoot.

"Use that anger." My adversary urged, "Focus- that's right. It's your birthright to control that power, don't just let me just take it from you without a fight."

Even as he egged me on, as I tried to do just as he said, I felt the impossibility of it. Every time I grabbed for power it slipped through my grasp to return to his. It was like trying to cup water in my palms, but my fingers wouldn't close no matter what my mind told them.

There is nothing more frightening or frustrating than someone taking your proudest skill and completely outclassing you in it. Frankly I was sick of it happening to me, so I just kept pushing and pushing, hoping beyond hope that his will would give out before mine. My body trembled and jerked, as if I were a string-puppet whose puppeteer was having a seizure.

It went on for uncountable excruciating minutes, until finally I had to give out. My brain screamed at me, pounding against my skull as if it wished to physically escape. Any more of that and there would be a very likely possibility of death for me. I felt him quietly let go of his power, and it caused me to fall to my knees, unable to stand without assistance now.

"You alright, Stratus?" My eyes were downcast, and I saw his feet move to stand just in front of me. I didn't respond to his question.

The more experienced mage continued, "Hey, it was a good try. When I was your age I definitely wouldn't have been able to hold out that long. A couple times you almost had me, too."

It was praise, but I didn't feel it. All I could feel was my ringing headache reminding me of how badly I had just failed; it was all I could do to fall back against the wall, leaning against it for the support my faulty legs refused to give me.

"Where are my manners?" He stuck a hand out to me, "My name is Kevin… Kevin Ruark."

"Good for you." I muttered impetuously, but the tall blond kept his hand patiently in front of me. I grudgingly took it after a few more seconds and was pulled to my feet in a single smooth tug. I noticed his hands were gloved, preventing skin to skin contact.

A wave of dizziness welcomed me back to my feet cheerfully, and I swayed back and forth. Ruark steadied me with a hand firmly gripping my shoulder, "Easy," He said gently, "Easy there, buddy."

I honestly felt like punching him, more out of frustration than anything else. Ruark acted like it wasn't his fault I was like this in the first place. I told him as much.

Kevin laughed, "Is it? I just pushed you against the wall; you're the one who pushed back. I would say it's your fault."

"You're wrong." I countered, "If a spider trapped a fly, and the fly lost a wing in its attempt to escape, it's the spider's fault still for trapping it in the first place."

Kevin shook his head, and looked amused, "Still thinking like a sore loser. Choice is a beautiful thing, but choices demand responsibility. I chose to trap you, but I didn't choose to harm you- you chose that."

I pushed his hands off me, "Enough with your philosophical bullshit." I snarled, angry at both him and myself, "What the hell do you want from me? I haven't done anything wrong."

Ruark crossed his arms, and the long sleeves of his button down shirt tightened from the contraction of rippling muscle underneath. Another pang of annoyance, was every male mage on campus built like a tank?

"You're rushing APA." He sounded… disappointed.

I was puzzled enough for a moment to let go of my anger, "Aren't you a member?"

The older mage waved a hand as if that were inconsequential, "Of course, of course. But it would have been better for you to stay away. The situation at the moment… it's volatile."

"You mean with Emily?"

Ruark looked surprised, "You know Emily?" Then shook his head, "Knew, knew… she's gone now. I keep forgetting." Kevin's features were pained for a long moment before they disappeared beneath an emotionless mask.

I took a long moment to really study him. He was older than me; Ruark looked to be pushing twenty two, or even twenty three. He was dressed in a similar manner to that first night, black slacks and a pinstriped button-down. The tie he had worn was the only thing that didn't seem present, and unlike that night Ruark's dirty blond hair was free to eclipse his forehead, the fringe jaggedly cut just above deep blue eyes.

Much like Carmen and me, his complexion was marred with bags under the eyes. Perhaps all mages had trouble sleeping at night.

"You should have stayed away," Kevin said sorrowfully, "I suppose it's my fault- I didn't warn you."

"You warned me enough." I muttered, still remembering the alarm I had felt when he had called after me that night by name.

He laughed at that, "I meant warning you away from Archanos. But I didn't know… I don't think anyone really saw Emily's death coming. It hadn't… it wasn't meant to go that way."

Once again, he looked troubled.

"What happened to her?" I asked, hoping to finally get some real answers as to how Emily died.

Ruark's haunted eyes met my own as he shuddered, "You're better off not knowing, Stratus. You can't change anything that has already happened… you just have to live with it."

"What about avenging her?" I pressed, angry with how easy this mage as powerful as he was, seemed to give up.

A sharp glance, "Avenging?" Ruark repeated in disbelief, "Stratus, I don't think you really comprehend what you're saying. The will of the coven is not driven by the will of its individual members. It is triumvirate that decides."

Triumvirate… that word sounded familiar, something I had learned- or was supposed to learn- back in high school. But back then I couldn't be bothered with menial Normal tasks such as actually learning things.

"What's a triumvirate?" I asked curiously.

His alarm shifted back to amusement, "Oh, freshmen," Ruark said fondly, "How I adore your naiveté… the triumvirate is the term used to describe the three most powerful mages in a coven. They are voted in by the members whenever a spot opens, and then their will is law. Only another member of the triumvirate can object. Their powers balance each other out, so theoretically there can never be a single voice that rules a coven. Do you understand?"

I nodded slowly, recalling something, "Triumvirate… wasn't that something that Caesar made up?"

Ruark smiled, "Yes. That is where the original term came from, drawn from the times of Caesar's old republic of Rome. Back before things went to hell for mages everywhere."

"Because of Christianity." I pointed at the symbol of faith that hung on a chain around his neck, "Yet you wear a cross."

The taller student laughed, fingering the cross, "Just because I'm a mage doesn't mean I don't believe in God, you heathen." Ruark smiled fondly, "I was raised Irish Catholic first, and then I was a mage. I don't agree with everything in my religion or its history, but I do believe that my power, and yours, comes from God. What else could explain the amazing abilities we have?"

"Science." I replied, mostly just to be an ass.

Kevin laughed it off though, "Yes, yes, science. Religion's uppity little brother that needs answers for absolutely everything. What is science but another type of faith?" Ruark saw my mouth open in response and quickly continued, "Don't answer that, by the way. I really don't feel like debating in a restroom."

"You still haven't told me what you want from me." I pointed out. I was finally getting my bearings back after my mental tussle with the other student, but I would be dead tired for the rest of the day.

"I just wanted to talk in private honestly." Ruark said with a shrug, "That's why I Pushed you into the engineering building and this bathroom."

"Pushed?" I asked quizzically, suddenly remembering my strange behavior outside. I had felt like I had been in a daze up until the moment I actually stopped at the urinal and wondered what the hell I was doing in the bathroom in the first place.

Ruark smiled, "You'll learn soon enough, Stratus. There's a lot about manipulating magic that you don't know." The smile faded, "Listen. What happened to Emily was terrible, no matter what anyone says. But keep your mouth shut, do you understand? You don't want to be next, do you? Vengeance isn't an option, not for me or for you."

I had to ask, "Why not?"

Kevin's sad eyes met my own as he shrugged his shoulders, looking very defeated, "Because, Stratus. Much like you I'm only a pawn in a game older than the language we're speaking. I know you talked to Vik, soliloquist that he is. No doubt he made you feel like you were important, a part of the change that is coming… but you and I are just insignificant droplets compared to the hellish rainstorms that are our masters. They can kill us with a thought, and that is why vengeance is impossible. All you will do is get yourself killed."

Although I could process his words, it was hard to really process the actual danger that Ruark was trying to warn me about. Only one memory made the diffuse cloud of peril solidify into something tangible. The day of Emily's memorial service when magic had slipped completely out of my control, seemingly by the will of a single mage… I now had the sinking feeling that that had been my first and only brush with truly mastered magical ability.

Ruark smiled wanly, as if he saw that I finally understood, "A pawn cannot truly challenge a queen. Nor can we challenge the triumvirate. Remember that, Nick… it'll keep you alive."

Dreams and nightmares are built atop the strangest foundations, still not well understood today, the subconscious. I've heard dreams described as the defragmentation of the mind's memories. They have no meaning, hold no power, no purpose. Others, mages usually, believed that dreams held the keys to understanding the future through one's past. Our magic's way of speaking to us, if you will.

I never remembered my dreams when I woke from them. Nightmares were similar, vague reminiscences of moments in my life I would rather forget. After Ruark had so graciously introduced himself to me as the waking terror that had followed me into my dreams where I could not run, the nightmares about that particular night subsided. However, it just opened way for old fears, things that I had left undone, very real monsters from the past unsettled- to stir. To wake and laughingly claw at me again.