Madness (14 page)
Authors: Allyson Young
* * * *
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Cameron looked up when Patrick entered the office. He dared to hope. “Did she read my note? Did she say anything?”
“She read it and cried until I thought she would be sick. I find I want to test out my new double tail on you, my friend. You are a total bastard, but then I assume you know that.”
“I know it. I guess that’s that then. I won’t push her, Patrick. I’ve learned that much.” Cameron fought to keep his voice even.
“Shove it, Cameron.” Patrick’s impatience startled Cameron.
“I am offering a remedial class for Doms such as yourself, Cameron. Retraining as it were. Olivia may agree to be a sub for this cause. Don’t!” Patrick raised his hand to stem Cameron’s excited reaction. “Hear me out.”
Cameron nodded and kept his mouth shut with effort.
“If Olivia agrees, she will live here during this process, as will you. That is, if you agree to retraining. Perhaps you will mend your relationship although I’m not hopeful, you idiot. This will be a time-limited offer. I would be tempted to invite Graham, but he appears to have corrected his behavior. Jamison Landry is another matter.” Patrick could name call all he wanted. He could infer that Cameron was in competition for the village moron if he liked.
Cameron had heard some choice gossip about Jamison, and knew it was a fair comparison. Cameron would leap at this second, or was it his third chance. Hell, he would crawl through fire.
“How long until I know?”
Patrick shrugged. “I’ll call you when I know. Now, I’m going home to Madi. Good night. See yourself out.” Cameron wondered how he would get through the hours until Olivia made her decision. He decided to find Trevor and see if his friend was ready to leave or if he should just wait for him in the bar, where he would drink coffee and keep his phone handy. He dared hope.
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Trevor was in the middle of discussing a contract with the little waitress in the bar. Cameron recognized the body language. While he was hardly one to give advice, considering his own current state of affairs, he knew that Trevor was never going to find his one woman if he kept hooking up with pain sluts and newbies. Trevor needed a mature, experienced sub, yet he avoided those like the plague. If Cameron was lucky enough to retrieve things with Olivia, then maybe he would have a heart-to-heart with his friend. He found a quiet corner and waited for Trevor’s latest to notice him and take his order for coffee.
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Chapter Twelve
Master Jordan clearly disapproved of her decision. Olivia felt the wave of emotion roll off him when she asked him to take her to the room that had been set aside for her, but he didn’t say anything directly. She didn’t know if Cameron would be sharing it with her, but she realized that once she had accepted Patrick’s offer, there was no going back, and that all choices had been taken from her. It made her feel incredibly relieved, and free, and she would have felt totally comfortable if it weren’t for Master Jordan’s definite angst. He didn’t verbalize his opinion, however, merely nodded and carried her little overnight bag to the room.
Olivia was impressed by its opulence. A king-size bed dominated the large room, the thick, four posters looming, reaching to the high ceilings, the intricate head- and footboards grounding it on the plush area rug. A heavy, embroidered comforter in deep shades of red and black covered it, matching the two sets of window coverings. Dark-crimson walls added to the feeling of the bordello, and glittering chandeliers and sconces provided the lighting, reflected by the countless mirrors. One could almost overlook the manacles on one wall, the hooks in the cove ceiling and the rings fastened into the bedposts at varying heights. She was certain the wardrobe held more than clothing and decided to check it out as soon as she was alone.
Master Jordan pushed open the door to the adjoining bathroom and she saw a huge shower stall, a separate claw-foot tub, a large marble sink set atop of a vanity, a bidet, and toilet. There was a hook in the ceiling above the shower, evident through the sparkling glass
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doors. Olivia felt the wetness between her thighs and avoided looking at the house Dom.
She watched as he rummaged through her case, removing only her brush and lip gloss. He placed those items on the sink.
“You’ll find everything else you need under the sink, sub. Give me your clothes.”
Olivia bit her lip but quickly stripped, handing over her garments.
Master Jordan folded them and tucked them into her suitcase. He nodded to her and walked to the door.
“You’ll get your possessions back at the end of the training, or before, if you use your safe word or if Master Cameron fu…fails to complete it.”
“Master Jordan?” Olivia spoke diffidently. “Thank you for everything.”
His face softened for a moment. “It has been my pleasure, Olivia.
If things don’t, well if they don’t work out as you hoped, I will be pleased to continue with you.”
Olivia knew she should say something, explain, but had no words.
She didn’t know if she was doing the right thing. But she had woken this morning to discover that her subconscious had made the decision in the night. There had really been no choice. She was incomplete without Cameron, although he definitely needed to clean up his act.
She was far better versed in this lifestyle than she had been nine months ago, and he had overstepped. If he let her down again, she would kill him. Messily. She smiled at Master Jordan and bowed her head. The door shut nearly soundlessly behind him.
The wardrobe held a variety of implements, some she recognized, others she didn’t. They all intrigued her. She was curious as to how this training would unfold but not anxious or afraid. Cameron wouldn’t hurt her physically, not really, and she had to trust that he would take care of her heart, too, make amends. She settled on the bed to wait.
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A tap on the door brought her to her feet. It opened slowly and Patrick maneuvered a tray inside, pushing the door shut with a backward shove of his foot. Olivia hastened to take the tray and put in on the dresser. She could smell coffee and toast. This powerful Dom had brought her breakfast. Her stomach rumbled and she felt actual hunger for the first time in months.
“Fill your plate and eat, sub, while I outline what will take place over the next while.”
Olivia chose a piece of toast and some fruit, then poured a cup of coffee, adding a generous dollop of cream. She then poured Patrick some and took it to him where he now lounged in the strangely shaped chair near the bed. He accepted it and flicked his gaze over her body before motioning her back to her meal. She perched on the bed and crunched her way through the toast, sipping her coffee in between bites.
“Cameron is concerned about your health, Olivia,” Patrick informed her. “He is not pleased by your weight loss.” Olivia said nothing. She knew that Patrick understood why she hadn’t been able to eat. The medical she had undergone prior to being accepted here had almost precluded her membership because of how underweight she was.
“You will follow all directions regarding food intake and anything else I or Master Cameron or any other Dom here dictate, for the sake of your health, sub. Clear?”
Olivia nodded and then quickly verbalized her agreement. Doms didn’t tolerate nonverbal communication unless a sub’s mouth was full.
“Fine. Now, I have given this some thought. I won’t be present very often because of my commitments at home, but Master Jonathon will preside. You haven’t met him, but I have decided to use his services rather than Master Jordan. I think you know why.” Patrick continued without waiting for her response. “Be ready in an hour. He
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will come to escort you to Cameron. Are you willing to turn yourself over without question?”
Olivia took a breath. “I am, Master Patrick. I do want to be sure that Cameron is aware of my hard boundaries.” Patrick shook his head. “No, Olivia. That will be negotiated through the training. I believe that is the only way to build trust in this situation. Cameron will have to find his way with you, pay very close attention to what
you
need, not what
he
wants. Do you understand?”
“Am I to have a safe word?”
“Of course. Cameron might fuck up again.” On that cheery note, Patrick stood. “Leave the tray. And, Olivia? I hope you get what you want, as well as what you need. I’ll be apprised of progress, and will see you at a later date.”
* * * *
Cameron paced Patrick’s office. Six steps one way, five and a half the other. When the door opened, he pulled himself together and hoped he presented a calm, controlled Dom demeanor. Patrick strode in and gave him a cursory glance.
“Well it seems as though you’ve been given a reprieve, Cameron,” Patrick said. “You will start your training in one of the private rooms. Jonathon will be the instructor.” Cameron was relieved. He hadn’t missed the way Jordan had handled Olivia. Jordan wasn’t going to be pleased with the way things were going. The last thing he needed was to wage a battle on two fronts, because he didn’t kid himself. He knew that Olivia was going to fight him to the end, at least insofar as surrendering her heart to him went, but he was going to win that war. Or die trying. He nodded.
“You begin in an hour. You’ll work with your sub until she requires rest and then use your room to care for her.”
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“We’ll be living together?” Cameron was ecstatic, if surprised. He had somehow wondered if Olivia would resist that much intimacy to begin with.
“Your sub will have no say, no input whatsoever in this process, Cameron.” Patrick’s somber reply made Cameron’s instincts hit high alert.
“And she agreed to that? No hard boundaries?” Cameron felt amazed.
Patrick sighed. “Man up, Cameron. Are you truly that whipped?
Not that you have anyone to blame but yourself. It’s Dom 101.
Connect with your sub. Determine what she needs, not what she thinks she wants. Provide it. That’s how you meet your own needs.
Good God.”
And with that loaded statement, Cameron dropped the mental baggage he had been carrying and literally felt his dominant mantle settle over his shoulders.
What Olivia needs, not what I think she does
for my own sake.
He could do this. He had to.
“Is there a time limit on this training, Patrick?” he asked.
The other man laughed. “Only if she uses her safe word, Cameron. Best you work that out with her first. Good luck.” Patrick’s voice no longer held a hint of mirth. “Few of us really find their One.” Cameron offered his hand and shook Patrick’s vigorously. He hadn’t slept, had drunk far too much caffeine, was heading into the challenge of his lifetime, and never felt better. He strode toward the designated room and his future.
“Jonathon Spence.” The huge black man sorting sex toys offered his name over his shoulder as Cameron stepped inside the private room.
“Cameron Fraser. What’s the plan?”
“Same as if you were new to the lifestyle and beginning your training, although I’d expect you to know the drill and move it along.
I understand your sub isn’t inexperienced either. It’s the relationship that sucks, am I right? Needs some work?”
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Cameron nodded. “I fucked up. I betrayed her trust. I didn’t wait for her to tell me because I was in too much of a hurry to get to the prize. I saw her personal stuff as a wall, a distraction between us, and tore it down. And in doing that I pushed her away. My fault. None of it hers.”
“Okay. Then it’s about communicating, pushing her boundaries, reading her, and meeting her needs.”
“Precisely. But this sub isn’t going to make it easy.”
“If she’s worth it, none of it should be easy.” Spence stated a fact.
“You probably don’t want a doormat. You don’t look like the 24-7
Dom.”
“I’m not. She’ll submit to me physically I think…”
“Ah, but her heart and soul might be a different matter.”
“I think we’ll work well together, Spence,” Cameron said.
In a flash, the camaraderie vanished from the other Dom’s face and tone. “Fuck you,
Master
Cameron. I heard about the shit you caused that sub. I’m not on your side. You’ll work for her, I promise you. And you’d better know that Jordan will kick your ass if you screw this up.”
“I didn’t mean to come off as arrogant, Spence,” Cameron offered, pushing his defensiveness away. “I simply want you to know that I’m aware I will need your input and support. I’m shit scared.”
“I don’t have a problem with arrogant, Fraser. Not if it’s done in her best interests. And I think I hear you. Get ready. I’m supposed to pick her up in a few minutes, and this isn’t a time to delay and build anticipation. She’s waited long enough for you.” Cameron watched Spence’s enormous frame pass through the doorway with maybe an inch to spare, and that was with him turned nearly sideways. Shit. The pressure was on, and he wondered if Jordan was monitoring this room, too. He set all his schoolboy thoughts aside and went to choose his tools.
He had just selected a few when peripheral movement caught his eye. Olivia stood just inside the room, naked and visibly shaking.
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Spence’s bulk was an inadvertent backdrop to her overly thin frame and it made his heart ache. This was his fault and his guilt overwhelmed him. Cameron got hold of himself and put on his Dom face.
“Come to me.” His heart leapt when she pattered forward and knelt, without being instructed, at his feet. He reverently laid his hand on her silky curls, marveling at his luck. He never thought to have the opportunity to touch her again. She stilled beneath his hand and the shaking dissipated, as if she absorbed his strength and calm, however forced. Cameron wanted to pull her up into his arms and carry her out of this place. Carry her to his apartment, take her inside and lock the world out, then love her with everything he had. Instead, he reached for the leather cuffs, hearing Spence close the door and take a position by the wall.
Cameron placed a cuff on each of Olivia’s wrists and then pulled her up to stand in front of him. He wrapped one hand in her glorious hair and tilted her head back so that he could look into her topaz eyes.
She stared back at him and there was no submission to be found in those windows to her soul. Cameron managed not to kiss her and ensured that there wasn’t a trace of negative emotion in his own eyes.
He wanted her to know that she was beautiful and special, no matter what had gone before.
“What is your safe word?” he asked, following protocol.
“Red light.”
“If you use your safe word, I will immediately stop whatever I am doing, and we will communicate. If you are gagged or your mouth is full, you are to raise your right hand and I will stop. If your hands are bound, you will drop the ball I will provide you, and I will stop. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“I am going to explore your body, get to know your responses, now, sub. You have not been allowed to set hard boundaries and I am well aware of this. Do you still want to proceed?”
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“I do.”
Olivia’s composure seemed unbreakable. Cameron wondered bitterly if Jordan had been so efficient that she could predict and welcome this, be so comfortable. He longed for their first night together, back when it was all new to her, yet she had responded as though she had known it, and him, forever. He reminded himself that it was his burden to carry and locked the bitterness away. He led Olivia to the leather-covered table, until her belly bumped the edge, and waited for her to willingly bend over and lay her chest on it.
Every vertebra in her spine was delineated, and he longed to cover them with his own flesh. She had been starving herself, just as she had been starved of his love and dominance. His fault. He stroked his hand over her back with a firm, gentle touch, and she relaxed. He moved to her ass, noting that it still retained its heart shape and he reverently parted her buttocks to expose her anus. Olivia remained acquiescent, and Cameron again realized that Jordan had worked hard with her. But this training was for
him
. It was
his
penitence. He grabbed the lube and drizzled it down her cleft, then lubricated the fingers on his right hand. He carefully inserted one and then another, pushing in past the outer ring of muscle, stretching her to receive the butt plug he had selected. Olivia pushed back against his invasion, and he heard her moan. She followed the retreat of his fingers and he rejoiced at how she now welcomed anal play. The plug slipped in easily. Cameron wondered if Jordan had fucked her there and chastised himself. It didn’t matter. He would take whatever he could get. He wanted it all, but would only take what Olivia could give. It would be enough. After washing his hands, Cameron helped her up and then lifted her to lie back on the table, positioning her so that he could stand at the end and easily access her cunt, watching her body language carefully, reading her cues. He could scent her building arousal, but shot a glance at Spence to make certain that the other Dom approved. He got a nod in return.
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“Place your feet flat on the table and drop your knees apart,” he commanded her, and she immediately complied, drawing her long, pale legs up, exposing her to his gaze. Cameron knew he should still be rejoicing, for she was responding as she had done that first night with him. But he suddenly felt pressured, ambivalent, judged, and it was hard to be spontaneous. He didn’t want to act by rote with Olivia.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took stock. He suddenly knew what was wrong. He wasn’t communicating with her on their level.
He was performing for Spence, and by extension, for Patrick. This was insane. He didn’t need to perform. He needed to dominate Olivia and bring his woman pleasure, give her what she needed. To hell with Spence and everyone else. He opened Olivia’s folds carefully with his finger tips and lost himself in her softness and smell. He remembered every crevice, every dip and valley of her with his tongue and his lips until she spasmed beneath him, calling out his name, begging him.
“She came without permission, Master Cameron. Was that your intent?” Spence’s deep baritone intruded.
It hadn’t been, but Cameron wouldn’t punish Olivia for
his
lack of control. God damn it. He didn’t know if he could do this. He bit at the inside of his cheek to manage himself. “It was,” he growled. “Olivia was disciplined last night by Master Jordan. She doesn’t need another scene today. She needs more rest and a meal. We’ll join you tomorrow.”
Cameron thought he saw a faint smile cross Spence’s face but couldn’t be certain. He reached for one of the generic silk robes that hung at the back of the wardrobe, choosing one in an ivory shade, knowing how it would showcase Olivia’s dark coloring. Spence didn’t move to deter him. Cameron helped her into the garment once he had aided her descent from the table, gently wrapping the fabric around her. She came along willingly when he grasped her arm and he walked with purpose from the room, until he realized he had no idea where they were staying.
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“It’s this way, Sir.” Olivia gestured to her right, and Cameron let her lead him to the fourth door. Patrick had given them the Paradise Room, and Cameron hoped the label would hold true. He shut and locked the door behind them and pulled Olivia into his arms, bending to slant his mouth over hers. She opened to him and he drowned in the kiss. It was like being offered a warm cup of chocolate after being locked out in the cold. When they came up for air, she stepped back a little, and he released her. They stood, staring at one another, and Cameron frantically searched for words, words that would extend this third chance, for he would never get another.
