Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes (55 page)

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Authors: Martha Long

Tags: #ma, he sold me for a few cigarettes, #Dublin, #seven stories press, #1950s, #poverty, #homelessness, #abuse, #rape, #labor, #ireland, #martha long, #memoir, #autobiography, #biography, #series, #history, #poor, #slums

BOOK: Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes
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Maggie held him up in the air an shook him, laughin, ‘Aren't you the little demon?' An he roared laughin. ‘Ah! I'm goin te keep you,' an she shook him, an he screamed wit the excitement. Then she buried her face in his neck an blew noises at him. An he roared, an screamed wit laughin. ‘An yer poor mammy will cry without ye! Isn't tha right?' an she blew inta his neck again, makin suckin noises. He loved it.

She sat down in the armchair beside the fire an put Harry on the floor. Teddy an Charlie started chasin him aroun the room on their hands an knees. ‘Are ye feelin better?' Maggie asked me.

‘Yeah! I'm much better, thanks.'

‘Well, ye won't feel the time goin till yer mammy's outa the hospital.'

Then Mrs Dunne asked her was there any news, an Maggie whispered, lookin at me, an then turnin her back. ‘She's lost it, the poor woman.'

‘Ah! Lord God, isn't tha terrible.'

‘Yeah! He kicked it out of her, the animal!'

‘Well,' Mrs Dunne said, leanin back in her chair an lookin over at the picture of the Sacred Heart hangin over the bed. ‘If there's any justice, he'll get wha's comin te him. An he should be locked up fer life an let them throw away the key. I hope he comes te a bad end! God forgive me,' an she blessed herself wit the sign of the cross. ‘Anyway, he won't be comin back here fer a while, not where he is! Tha should put a stop te his gallop!'

Me heart leapt. Locked up! Not comin back! I was afraid te ask, cos I'm not supposed te listen, but me mind started flyin. No more Jackser! Oh, God, let it be true, but I didn't really believe it. It's hard te stop Jackser, an they might let him go free. He can talk his way aroun anythin. I felt me heart sink. No, I'll just have te wait an see wha happens.

‘Ye must be delighted at seein yer mammy.'

‘Yeah, Mrs Dunne, I am. I can't wait. Is she all better now?'

‘Ah, she'll be fine. It'll take her a few days te get back on her feet, but she's lucky te have you te help her.'

‘Yeah, I can't wait te see her.'

‘What I'll do is, light the fire. Oh, yes! I must see if I can get her a bit of turf, she'll need tha te keep her goin. An I'll pick up a few scrags a neck a lamb an put on a bit of a stew. It's not nice te come outa hospital an be faced wit an empty cold room. Not after wha she's been through. Now, let's get these two little demons inta the bed, an we'll have a nice hot suppa tea. Ellie! Will ye wet the teapot fer me? I'll just throw me coat on. I want te run up te Maggie's fer a minute, I won't be long.'

Ellie put down her pencil, she was doin her sums fer school tomorrow, an went inta the scullery. The door shut behind Mrs Dunne, an she was still mutterin te herself, ‘Now did I think of everythin? Did I leave aside the rent money?' I smiled te meself. Mrs Dunne was always fixin things up in her head an rushin aroun worryin about everyone. An I'm definitely goin te be like her, cos ye always feel safe an happy when ye're wit her. An she makes me roar laughin at the things she says te people when they annoy her.

Today she sent me fer a packet of Bisto, an I was short of a ha'penny. ‘Would she not give ye the Bisto?'

‘No! It was the chinny aul one, an she said te tell ye she's not standin behind the counter fer the good of her health!'

‘Is tha so!' Mrs Dunne roared. ‘Wait till I see her! But I'll tell ye this! Tha aul one is so mean she'd shoot her mammy just te go on the orphans' outin!' The picture of Chinny's fat ma lyin plastered on the ground, an Chinny runnin off wit the orphans, on their day out, had me in stitches.

23

Me ma got her hands on another pram. I whipped it on a gang of kids who were pushin each other aroun in it. An I bet they robbed it from the second-hand dealers who sell up on the stones on a Saturday mornin. It's just off Parnell Street. I was moseyin along when they came flyin outa the flats wit the pram, an a gang of young fellas hangin outa it. Me eyes lit up – just what the ma needs! Me head went inta action straight away. ‘Quick! Quick!' I shouted. ‘Did ye's not hear about the weddin?'

They came te a standstill. ‘Wha weddin?'

‘Down on Sean McDermott Street!' I screamed. ‘There'll be a grushie.'

Yer man pushin the pram hesimitated an looked at me suspicious.

‘I'm goin!' an the three sittin in the pram threw themselves out an ran like mad, headin down te the church.

‘Yeah, wait fer me,' an they were gone, leavin the pram.

I looked at the wheels – grand! The springs – lovely! Just wha the doctor ordered. An off I flew in the opposite direction, turnin left an headin down past the Pro-Cathedral, an left again on te Talbot Street. But as I turned on te Corporation Street, I had te be very careful, cos they only had te look straight down an they would spot me. Te be safe, I turned right onta Foley Street an ducked left under the arch inta the buildins, an I was home an dry.

We put Harry in the pram an Teddy sittin at the bottom, an hope it doesn't rain, cos the hood is in ribbons. An we all set off fer the day. Me on one side of the handlebars, Charlie on the other, an the ma in the middle, pushin. Up the hill, onta Mountjoy Square. ‘Come on! Push the fuckin pram,' me ma shouts. ‘Ye's all have the heart pulled outa me!'

‘I'm pushin, Ma!'

Then past Gardiner Street Church, turn right onta Dorset Street, over Binns Bridge, an up the Whitworth Road. Another hill! I look over at Charlie draggin outa the pram. Me ma's gone red in the face tryin te push. I give a little push an get annoyed at Charlie. ‘Lookit, Ma! He's pullin, not pushin.'

‘I'm not! Ye're pullin,' Charlie shouts back at me.

‘I'll give ye's both a dig if ye's don't push this pram wit me! I'm warnin ye's.'

‘Right!' I shout. ‘I'm not goin!' an I stop dead.

‘Stay there, then!' me ma shouts back at me.

I'm ragin as I watch me ma keep goin. ‘Wait fer me!' I scream after her, cos she's gone miles up the road without me. An I run after her, cryin in temper.

Me ma laughs at me when I catch up wit her, an I jump up an down in an awful rage altogether, cos she keeps gettin the better of me. ‘Ah, tha's lovely, lovely, keep it up, an if they arrest ye fer makin a show of yerself, ye needn't say ye're wit me.' An she started te hurry on without me again.

‘Ye're a . . ! Ye're a . . !' I screamed after her. But I couldn't think of any names te call her. ‘Fuck off!' I finally screeched, lettin all the air outa me mouth an droppin me shoulders, feelin better.

An aul one wit a black shawl wrapped aroun her head stopped te stare at me. ‘Ye'll go straight te Hell fer carryin on like tha! Stop tormentin yer poor mammy. Go on. Look, she's waitin on ye.'

I took me eyes offa the aul one, an, sure enough, me ma was waitin. She laughed down at the aul one, an said, ‘These childre will be the death of me yet, Mrs.'

‘True fer ye, Mrs!' the aul one shouted back. ‘Give her the back of yer hand, an ye won't get any more lip from her.' Then she galloped off.

I glared up at the ma, an she said, ‘Come on. If we hurry, we might be in time fer somethin te eat.'

I was appeased an raced up te grab hold of the pram. We were contented again, an we raced down the hill, an then up again onta the Mobhi Road.

When we got te the Cross an Passion convent, a lovely big red-faced nun answered the door. She was wearin a dark check apron aroun her habit. ‘And what have we here?' she laughed inta the pram at Harry an Teddy. ‘And what age are you?' she asked me.

Me ma said I was nine an Charlie was four. ‘And two lovely babies,' the nun said, bendin inta the pram an ticklin their chins. ‘Wait here, I'll see what there is.' An she swung off an banged the door behind her, leavin me ma an me holdin our breaths, wonderin wha she'd bring us.

‘She must be in charge of the kitchen,' me ma whispered.

‘Yeah, Ma,' I whispered back.

Charlie went runnin off, chasin a black cat tha was sneakin through the trees an watchin us. Teddy roared, an me ma lifted him outa the pram, an he went after Charlie, tryin te hurry through the grass. He kept fallin down, but he picked himself up an kept his eye on Charlie an the big cat.

I could smell the lovely fresh air, an it was so quiet, so peaceful. I let out a big breath an said te me ma, ‘I'm goin te run aroun the corner, an see what's in the windas.'

I was gone before me ma shouted at me te get back here, ‘They'll see ye an give us nothin.' I walked along the wall, lookin up at the windas. They were too high up fer me te see anythin. I hauled meself up onta a windasill an dug me toes inta the wall, an held on wit me elbows. The winda was opened a little, but ye couldn't see in through the winda, cos the glass wasn't clear. I heard somethin – runnin water. Then the back of a nun's head appeared, an I heard a tilet flushin. I tried te look, haulin meself up higher, but me arms wouldn't hold me, an I fell back inta a thorny bush.

‘Ah! Ah! Me legs, me arse, I'm caught. Ma! Mammy! Help me.'

Ma put her head aroun the corner an waved her fist up at me an clenched her teeth. ‘Shurrup! Get back down here. I warned ye!' she screamed in a whisper.

I kept swingin me legs, tryin te get out, an the winda was pushed up, an a nun poked her head out. ‘What on all that is holy are you doing in there?' she snorted at me.

‘I'm caught, Sister! Somebody pull me out, I'm stung te death!'

She kept starin at me, doin nothin te run an help me, only shakin her head up an down, tut tuttin. Me frock was caught up aroun me neck, an I was in me bare skin, but I didn't care wha she was thinkin, I only wanted te get out!

‘Unbelievable!' she barked, an slammed the winda down. I stayed quiet an steadied me breath. Easin out one leg – ah, it hurt! Then the other, stretchin meself. Then kick! An me back shot up, an I was standin again. I was full of red lumps everywhere, an me hair was standin up in all directions, wit bits of thorn leaves stickin outa me. I went back te me ma, knowin she was annoyed, but she might pity me when she saw the state I was in. I came crawlin aroun te me ma. ‘Ma, lookit me! I'm destroyed!'

‘Ah, don't be annoyin me. You've gone an ruined everythin. She'll come out now an put us out without anythin!' I looked at Harry starin at me an pointin te me hair. He wanted the leaves still stuck te me head. Then me ma looked aroun at me an started laughin.

‘It's not funny!' I whined, an me ma laughed harder.

‘Wha were ye doin?'

‘I was tryin te get a look in the winda, at the nun pissin away, but I missed it when I fell.'

Me ma's nose was red an drippin, an she was wipin tears from her eyes. ‘Ah, Gawd! Tha's a good one,' she said, wipin her nose.

‘Yeah, Ma, but I didn't think nuns pissed! Ye never see them! Only a bit of their face an hands.'

‘Yeah,' me ma said. ‘They come in here te hide away from the men.'

Then the door was whipped open, an me ma jumped up off the step. ‘Now!' the lovely red-faced nun roared at us. ‘Have you anything to put these into?' An she leaned inta the hall an came up wit an armful of stuff. Charlie came rushin back, an Teddy was screamin at bein left behind an missin out. Me ma got excited an whipped out the pillacase an held it open. The nun swung her arms wit loaves of bread inta the pillacase. A big jam jar of beef drippin, jars wit tea, sugar an jam, white greaseproof paper filled wit cooked roast beef, another wit cold potatoes cooked in their skins, real butter in greaseproof paper, an brown soda bread, an white soda bread, an cold roast potatoes. The pillacase was nearly full.

‘That's the lot,' an she reached in again an came out wit bananas. ‘One for my little man here with the angelic smile,' an she peeled the banana an put it in Harry's hand. He stared at it, not knowin wha te do wit it. Teddy nearly lost his mind, screamin. ‘Yes! Yes! And you, too,' an she peeled a banana an gave it te him. He looked at it first, an then took a bite, an Harry was watchin him an did the same. Charlie was wringin his hands an hummin, tryin te be patient, an she gave him a big rosy apple. He shoved it inta his mouth an nearly choked, cos he didn't chew it, just swallied. She looked at me an gave me a big yella orange, askin wha happened te me.

‘I fell inta a bush, Sister!'

‘Oh, now, I'd say you were up to some mischief.' An she laughed, takin the orange offa me an peelin it.

‘Are ye here long, Sister? me ma asked smilin. ‘It's just I haven't seen ye before!'

‘Well, I've been drafted into kitchen duty while Sister recovers from a bug. I've been baking up a storm! Wonderful! I love my grub, you know. But I think the other sisters regret now letting me fly loose in the kitchen. “It's not food, it's a mountain!” the older sisters mumble into their chests.' Then she screeched laughin. ‘No! I teach in our secondary school for girls. And what about you?' she asked me. ‘What class are you in at school?'

Eh, I thought, forgettin. ‘I'm nine! An I can read an write, an I can spell loads a things. I taught meself, so I did!' delighted te boast. ‘Ask me te spell somethin!'

‘Spell your name.'

‘Ah, tha's easy! Ask me somethin harder.'

‘Spell school.'

‘Easy,' I said, an spelt it.

‘Hmm, you're a bright spark. Pity to waste it,' she mumbled.

Teddy roared, cos his banana was gone, an he reached inta the pram an robbed Harry's. Harry looked at the bit he was left an looked at Teddy chewin his banana an smilin at him, an went demented. ‘He robbed the banana, Sister! He robbed the babby's banana!' Charlie screamed. He was ragin, only cos he didn't get te rob it first. Charlie tried te grab it from Teddy, an Teddy bent himself in two, squashin the banana inta his stomach.

Me ma tried te separate them, an the sister roared, ‘Oh, it's a calamity! Wait there, I'll see what I can get to keep you all quiet!' an she belted in again an came out wit a big bag of scones an jam buns an rock buns, an gave us all one each.

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