Lyon's Heart (18 page)

I just got up off the bed
from next to her because after the night we’d just had it wouldn’t
be right to slap the shit out of her. Leaving her lying there to
think about her stupid fuck move, I headed to the bathroom to
shower off the night before. I couldn’t even think about this shit
right now. I have less than three hours to figure out what the fuck
I’m gonna do about this disaster. One thing was for certain, she
was not stepping foot in my house not with my kid here. It’s like
someone had a personal vendetta or some shit. All my well laid
plans were going up in smoke. Maybe I’m paying for my past sins.
Can’t think about that shit now either. I have to get my head
straight; fucking Kat.

Although I’d come up with
the idea of putting her up in one of my rentals, even that felt
wrong to me now. I just didn’t want anything to do with this
person. And why did it seem like she was trying to get close to me
or some fuck? It’s true she doesn’t know mom, but she don’t know me
either. Wouldn’t it make more sense for a female on her own in such
a vulnerable position to be more comfortable with another woman?
Kat seems to think I have some sort of personal issue against this
woman or that I’m just being mean for the sake of being mean. Why
she couldn’t understand where I was coming from was totally beyond
me. While Kat was pregnant, I’d started watching those cop shows on
TV maybe that shit warped me a little. Then I’d moved on to the
internet where I spent most of my time reading up on child safety.
I wanted to make sure that I was doing everything I could to
protect my little family. As if I didn’t already know how fucked up
the world is the point was driven home for me from what I learned
there. There are some sick fucks in the world and I want to give my
little girl a fighting chance. I know there’re no guarantees in
life but I’m prepared to do all that it’s in my power to do. I
signed up for the sex offender alerts online and found a couple
pedophiles about ten miles away. That was way too fucking close for
comfort, so me and the boys, along with my boy Travis who lives in
that particular town had paid them a visit. He wasn’t too jazzed
about them being in his backyard either. Needless to say, they
found it expedient to hit the fucking road. I don’t give two fucks
if they paid their debts to society, they’re not going to get the
chance to do that sick shit to another kid in my backyard. And they
damn sure ain’t breathing air that close to my daughter. All this
time I’ve been doing my part to make my little world that much
safer for my daughter and now her mother wants to bring the danger
to the door. I can see this isn’t going to end well unless I put
her little ass over my knee. It’s long overdue but she’s just
begging for it. Either that or a fucking she won’t soon
forget.

“
Colt.”

“Get the fuck away from me
Kat.” I tried not to raise my voice in front of my kid so though
the words were harsh they were said with less heat than I would’ve
liked.

She jumped back like I’d
punched her and her eyes filled up with tears. Too fucking bad, if
she couldn’t see what I was trying to do here then I was going to
have to get drastic with this shit. Because of her I now have to
get more involved in some shit that I know is not gonna end well.
It’s my little girl’s first Xmas and I’m going to be spending it
worrying about this fuckery instead of enjoying it with my baby. I
was tempted to get them on the plane and head to the island or some
shit but that wouldn’t be fair. My mom and hers were all excited
about spending this time with their first grand baby. They had a
million plans, half the shit would be lost on Caitlin but they
would have memories of it. I wasn’t about to test Elena’s wrath
because she’s lost her damn mind too since the baby
came.

“Colton please don’t be
mad…”

I turned to her and she took
a quick step back. What my tone lacked my face made up
for.

“I said step the fuck off
you fucked up. I know you can’t help disobeying me but now my
fucking kid is involved and not even you Kat, not even fucking you
are allowed to put my kid in danger. Now walk away and stay away
from me for the next little while.”

She turned away with her
shoulders hunched and head down. I know she has a soft heart,
that’s one of the things I love about her but I won’t accept
irresponsibleness. Maybe I haven’t explained things well enough to
her. I don’t know all I know is that on this I refuse to give in.
There isn’t much I would deny my wife and child, she knows this but
when it comes to their safety all bets are off.

After shunning her I spent
the morning playing with my daughter. I guess Kat was off somewhere
licking her wounds but right now I didn’t really care. I don’t
think I’ve ever been this mad at her before and she’s made me
plenty mad in the past but this shit was dangerous. I have to
decide what the hell I was going to do because time was running
out. I’m almost tempted to leave the girl in the damn hospital and
let her make her own way since she refused my mom’s help. I don’t
buy that bullshit story about her being afraid for one minute.
While Caitlin took her nap I went on the Internet again looking for
missing persons in the surrounding areas but there was nothing, not
a peep. I felt at a lost for the first time in my life and I didn’t
like it one bit. In the end I decided to call the hospital and have
them put her on the phone. I explained to her that it was either
mom or she was on her own. Yes I know I’m a cold motherfucker but I
had shit I had planned on doing with my kid today and I’ll be
fucked if I’m putting them off for her or anyone else. Fuck
that.

I can’t believe Colt told me
to get away from him, what is wrong with him? He can’t really be
that threatened by a helpless woman lying in a hospital bed with no
memory. It just doesn’t make sense the way he’s been acting. I
don’t see the danger; Colt sees danger around every corner these
days. It’s even worse than when we first met. He’s taken over
protectiveness to a whole new level. It started out on a smaller
scale but right after I told him I was pregnant something changed
in my husband from then. He’s always been super protective but he
amped it up a notch, like a really big notch. Then when we found
out we were having a little girl he really lost it. It’s like he
expects the worst at all times now. I know part of his attitude is
because of what happened to me but I’ve tried explaining to him
that you can’t be that overly cautious about everything. The thing
is when it comes to himself he loves taking risks; the man races
his bikes at break neck speeds. He faces down dangers that would
make lesser men shake in their boots, but when it comes to his
family it’s a whole other story. No matter how I try to get him to
ease up and relax it just goes in one ear and out the other. When
my tummy really started showing things just got way out of control.
He hardly ever left my side back then which I loved because I had
my moments of fear as well. For Colt with impending fatherhood it
seems as though he started seeing the world as a cold dark place
when I was finally beginning to see it as light and happy for the
first time in a long time. Having him in my life had helped heal a
lot of what was wrong in it. His strength love and the way he
cosseted me made things so easy that I didn’t have a care in the
world. What I feel for him transcends everything else. Every fear
every hang up he just takes them away with his care and
understanding. He really and truly makes me feel safe when just a
short time ago I thought my life was never going to be whole again.
It’s like I know as long as he’s there nothing and no one can touch
me. Am I taking that for granted? I’m not sure anymore it just
feels wrong to me to leave that girl all alone at Xmas. I’m the one
responsible for her losing her memory and not being able to go home
to her family. I have no idea how to go about finding them for her
and it makes me sad. I don’t want to piss Colt off any more than I
already have but I don’t know what else to do. Since he doesn’t
want her here the only thing left for me to do is try to make her
holiday as comfortable as possible but how am I supposed to do that
when he won’t even let me talk to her let alone go see her? Now
he’s not talking to me and that hurts. He’s confiscated the baby
too the mean jerk. I can hear the two of them out there laughing
and playing. She does love her daddy he makes her light up just by
entering a room. It makes me feel good because I have that type of
relationship with my dad although we spent so much time apart when
I was younger. I always knew my dad loved me though and he never
stopped showing me all those summers we spent together. I don’t
think my dad was as nuts as Colt is though, I feel for poor Caitlin
when she grows up. That man will probably lock her up in a room
somewhere so she can’t get hurt poor thing. I knew I shouldn’t have
let him watch all that true crimes crap, the shit gave him
nightmares but did he stop? Oh no. He thinks I don’t know this but
one of the sisters told me all about the crew running off the sex
offenders a few towns over. I couldn’t fault him for that one,
though I found it a bit out there. Now he’s acting as though I
don’t want to protect our daughter as well, like I would knowingly
invite danger into our home. I don’t see things the same way he
does; does that mean I’m a bad mom? If only I could shake this
feeling of guilt then I could just let it go and we could get back
to being happy again.

I walked back into the
living room where he was laying on the floor with the baby sitting
on his chest. She had one of her little stuffed toys and was trying
to feed it to him while he pretended to bite her fingers making her
squeal with laughter, so cute.

“Can I play?”

“No.” He practically growled
the word at me.

“Colton.” There was a little
heat in my voice though I didn’t raise it. I didn’t want to startle
Caitlin plus that was one of Colt’s rules we weren’t allowed to
argue in front of the baby. He read somewhere that it scares them
and can warp them somehow. I’m lucky I can even walk hard around
the kid; crazy ass. I ignored his no and knelt beside them staring
down at him which he chose to ignore.

“You’re hurting my
feelings.”

“Not now Kat I’m playing
with Caitie bear.”

“No you’re being mean.” I
felt stupid tears clog me up. I wanted to punch him in the chest
until he snapped out of it. Why is he crazy right now?

“Kat we’re not doing this
now, it’s a few days before the holiday and I want to enjoy it with
my daughter before you and your fu…bull…before you and your mess
FUBAR everything. You made your play and it was the wrong one. I’ve
told you about disobeying me yeah? Well that was your choice now
you can deal with the consequences. Just know that if you let that
woman anywhere near my daughter we’re going to have a serious
problem I am not fucking around with you on this. Sorry Caitlin,
daddy didn’t mean to say the bad word in front of you.” He glared
at me like it was my fault. What the hell is he on? I needed to
call his mom and mine to ask for their advice but somehow I knew
that that would only make things worse. He was really serious about
this and I’m not brave enough to cross him when he gets like this.
A Colton Lyon spanking during sex play is good times, the same
cannot be said for one of his punishments. Those things leave me
sore for days and I avoid them at all cost. He went back to
ignoring me and I just sat there like a lug with egg on my face.
Even the baby was too busy having fun with her daddy to pay me any
mind. When it looked like he wasn’t going to change his mind, I got
up and left them alone to go sit on the couch. Yes, I was feeling
sorry for myself but who could blame me? I only tried to do what I
thought was right and this is the thanks I get.

LYON

I bundled Caitlin up about
two o’clock that evening. We had an appointment with the big fat
bastard.

“Where are you
going?”

“I’m taking her to see
Santa.”

“Wait what? I’m supposed to
go too.”

“You can come if you
want.”

“You’re being an
asshole.”

“Watch your
mouth.”

She started that crying shit
again, too bad. Three hours ago, Elena and Char had taken her new
best friend and set her up in one of my places just outside of
town. Neither of them had told me anything about their visit to the
hospital the day before and I didn’t ask. If there was something to
tell mom would’ve told me, besides I didn’t need anyone else to see
what I see I don’t roll that way. Kat’s spoilt ass has been getting
away with murder. While she was pregnant and then even after having
the baby I guess I grew a little lax but if she didn’t stop fucking
around she was gonna end up with her ass beat Xmas or not.
Fuck.

Shit, I can’t stand to see
her like that. That’s probably why she thinks she can get away with
shit.

“Stop crying you’re gonna
upset the baby.”

“Then stop being mean to
me.”

“Then stop disobeying me.
You know that shit can only go so long before I rein your ass in.
Why you insist on doing it, I’ll never know.”

“I wasn’t trying to be
disobedient, I just felt guilty Colt. I’m the one who hit her. Why
can’t you understand how that makes me feel?”

“That has nothing to do with
shit. I told you to leave it alone, nothing else matters. I told
you one thing and you did another. What is that
Katarina?”