Lust and Other Drugs (14 page)

“I’d ask to see you underneath the stars. No unsure touches
in the dark and fear of the unknown.” She reached out tentatively and he didn’t
pull away. Anne tugged his shirt over his head. She moved next to his belt
buckle and when he didn’t stay her hand, she worked his jeans down his hips and
drank in the sight of him—the body that was almost as familiar as her own, but
new and exciting.

“You wouldn’t have been afraid?” he asked.

“Terrified. But it would be with you. Not so different than
the Seven in Heaven. Your strong body wrapped around me, bringing me so much
ecstasy.”

His fingers hovered over the buttons on the front of her
dress, but she slipped her hands beneath his and worked through them quickly.
The light cotton slid from her shoulders, revealing her nakedness beneath.

Chase made no move to touch her, but his eyes were dark with
want as he raked his gaze over her body. His perusal was almost a caress in
itself.

“This is where we should stop,” Anne breathed as he reached
out and caught a lock of her hair and wrapped it around his finger.

“Is it? I’ve already been inside you. Already made you
scream my name. Why should we stop?”

“Because I love you, Chase.”

“All the more reason to be with me here, in this world we’ve
created together. This past where there was no one before and there’ll be none
after.”

But he hadn’t returned her confession. She wanted to run
from him, hide—but there was nowhere to go.

He slowly unwound the strand of hair from his index finger
and let it fall down to curl against her bare breast. Chase cupped the back of
her neck and brought his lips down to hers. Anne found she couldn’t deny him.
Even as she told herself this was the last time.

He settled between her thighs and Anne realized she was
sore. “Gentle, this time.”

“Tender?” He kissed down the column of her throat, the
valley between her breasts, the flat surface of her stomach and finally down
between her thighs to her pussy. Chase licked in long, smooth strokes up her
cleft and it was only moments before she was bucking under his mouth.

Chase repositioned himself so he could enter her and he
eased inside slowly. “You’re killing me, sweetheart.” Anne tightened her thighs
around him. “I’ll be careful with you.”

“Break me, I don’t care,” she cried and dug her nails into
his back to anchor herself to him.

He was slow and careful at first, teasing her—testing her.
Chase slid his fingers between them and stroked the swollen bud of her clit
lightly.

For Anne, it was as if she’d been drugged all over again,
the white-hot, raging need that spiraled through her, the way his hands seared
her everywhere they touched. Then the movements of his fingers stilled as he
pulled away.

“No!” she cried out.

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetness.” Chase held her legs
apart and pressed a hot kiss to her inner thigh as he worked his way toward her
cunt to finish what he’d started.

The first soft touch of his tongue caused her to fist the
blanket and arch up to meet him. He captured her hips and held her there while
he tasted. She writhed against him, but he neither slowed nor increased his
pace. It was divine torture. The sensation built again, slower this time, but
even more intense. It was as if that initial touch had opened a floodgate and
every stroke of his tongue took her higher.

“I love how you taste—sweet. Every time I touch you, it’s a
fantasy come to life.”

She dug her fingers into his arms and he focused again on
his task. Anne fought the waves of bliss as they rolled over her—refusing to
let go and careen over the edge into ecstasy. But he gave her no choice. The
precision of his strokes was relentless and she whimpered, her body shuddering
against his mouth as she climaxed again.

Anne was still riding the aftershocks of her orgasm when he
rose above her and pushed into her slick channel. He moved with an agonizing
slowness, but Anne wouldn’t be denied. She clenched to draw him deeper, to
sheath him fully, and it was his undoing.

Chase stopped, fighting for control. Anne could feel the war
in his body by the tension in his muscles, the stiff way he held himself
against her.

It was a heady feeling to know she was the cause of his loss
of control. On the website, she’d seen him last a very long time, seemingly
forever. But when he was with her, he couldn’t stave off his climax. He’d
already brought her over the edge twice—it was his turn.

“Yes, Chase. Now,” she demanded.

Just as he found his release, fat raindrops splashed against
them and the clear night sky grew dark as the light of the last star was
snuffed out like a candle by heavy clouds.

“Damn crazy Kansas weather,” he muttered, but made no move
to seek shelter from the light summer shower.

Suddenly, Anne felt exposed and vulnerable by more than just
her nakedness. She’d told him she loved him. He’d neatly avoiding discussing it
by fucking her blue. Now what? Did she pretend she’d never said it? Did they
pretend this hadn’t happened?

“Chase—” she began.

He interrupted her again, and it was starting to piss her
off. “Now tell me you want to be with someone else,” he said smugly.

“I
don’t
, asshole!” she snapped and scrambled to her
feet. “That’s the problem. I want to be with you! That’s what I’ve been trying
to tell you!”

He looked confused but completely unfazed by the
name-calling as he stood and slipped into his clothes. “You said that Seth—”

“Did you miss the part where I said that I love you, Chase?”
She was angry now.

“I love you too, Annie.” He kissed her forehead.

So
not the declaration she was looking for. “I am
in
love with you.”

“Anne—”

She blazed ahead. Anne had to get this out, even standing
there getting soaked in the rain. If it didn’t come out now, she’d never find
the courage to say it again. “That’s why I can’t be with you. That’s why we
can’t do this anymore, because you don’t feel the same way. Okay? Do you
understand now?” she snarled, pushing away from him to pull on her dress and
get inside the truck.

He caught her hand, his grip impossible to break, and he pressed
her against the door, his dark hair curling down into his eyes as the gentle
rain soaked them.

“Annie, I never thought in a million years you’d feel this
way.”

“Me either,” she said, unable to stop the tears as they
mixed with the rain on her cheeks.

He sheltered her against his chest for a moment and it was
bittersweet, that strength wrapped around her even as the rain washed away the
scent of him, the memory of his touch from only moments before.

“I can’t be what you need,” he said quietly, but she could
feel his heart thundering in his chest.

“I know. That’s why this has to stop.”

“I can’t stop.” He pulled back and tilted her face up to
his, moonlight and rain like jewels on his skin. “Do you know how long I’ve
wanted you?”

So it was all about what
he
wanted? What this meant
for
him
? Anne tried to look away.

“I waited so long for you to realize how good it would be
between us. It’s always been you, Anne.” He brushed his lips against hers
tenderly. “I can’t be what you need, but I want to be.”

“What are you saying, Chase?” She knew he wanted to fuck
her, he’d said as much, but wanting to be what she needed? If he wanted to, why
couldn’t he? It made no sense.

“I’m saying that I’m in love with you and I want you to be
mine—
only
mine—but it won’t be like other couples. I don’t have time for
romantic dates every Friday. Sometimes I won’t be able to spend time with you
because I’ll have to study and then I’ll have residency. I still have to
maintain Dreamed Desire. If we ever want a life after medical school, we can’t
start out with a ton of debt hanging over our heads.”

“You said ‘we’.” Anne already knew about all that other
stuff and she didn’t care. He loved her. That’s all that mattered. Joy sparked
inside her like wildfire.

“Of course I did. I’ve never imagined a life without you,
Annie. But you deserve better than what I can give you right now.”

“Chase, I love our life the way it is. I don’t
need
romantic dates. I like wearing your t-shirts and watching movies together. I
like that you give me space to paint when I need it. Of course I’ll do the
same, and support your career. Even Dreamed Desire. I think it’s hot—but no
more scenes with other women. If you need a woman, it will be
me
.”

“You want to film us for the site?” he asked incredulously.

She blushed. “Sure. Why not? If you’re in everyone’s
spank-bank, why not me too?”

“Because you’re all mine, Anne.”

“That was never an issue.” She laughed as she realized the
rain had stopped.

“I thought you said Seth could turn you on the same as I
could?”

“Not the same. That’s what I was trying to tell you. He’s
good at what he does, but he’s not you, Chase.”

“Damn straight,” he growled.

He kissed her again, and as she melted against him, Anne
decided maybe the best drug of all wasn’t his touch…but his love.

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