Lush (9 page)

“You married me
anyway
?” She struggled to keep her emotions in check. “How good of you. You must have been pretty damn desperate to stoop so low. And sneaky too, going behind my back and getting Lucas to investigate me.”

“Sneaky? Look who’s talking? You’ve been hiding a hell of a lot from me, haven’t you? You can’t blame me for going out and getting answers on my own.”

Her worst fears confirmed. They knew. They’d seen the photos of her at her very lowest. The degradation. How desperate and sad she must seem to them all now.

She fought back against the rising tide of humiliation the only way she knew how. “Did you ever think that I
have
to hide things from you because I never know when I’m going to walk in on you screwing your secretary?”

“Now we’re getting down to it, aren’t we? You still don’t trust me or believe me when I tell you that I didn’t screw her.”

“Wanting to screw her and actually screwing her are
the same thing
in this case
.
If I hadn’t walked in on you and stopped you, you would’ve
actually
screwed her. So why should I trust you when you’d throw everything away in an instant for a ride up a short skirt?”

“I’ve been here every day trying in every way I know how to show you that you can trust me. I’m not the same selfish asshole I was back then.”

“Oh, yeah? If you’re trying to earn back my trust, then why didn’t you wait and ask me again later about Kevin instead of going behind my back? From where I’m standing, the new improved Cal looks and acts a lot like the old Cal.”

He let out a breath, his shoulders sagging. “You’re right. I might not have had sex with her, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t working my way around to it. I was an asshole to do that to you. I ruined everything between us. It’s my fault you ran off and married a man who abused you. And now here we are back together, and you’re still getting hurt because of me.”

She stared at him, trying to work out what to do with him. The old Cal would’ve never acknowledged his mistakes and failings. Maybe he had changed. Him acknowledging his part in what had happened between them forced her to look at what was happening between them now. He was right. She should’ve confided in him from the beginning of this whole thing. He’d offered her a way out, knowing that she came to him with more baggage than a commercial airliner. He’d made a bad bargain when he’d married her, but like he said, he’d known it from the start and had married her anyway. There had to be something recoverable in that.

“Huh.” A corner of her mouth tugged up at the irony. “We’re a messed-up pair, aren’t we?”

Cal nearly dropped to his knees in relief. He hadn’t totally screwed things up. She was offering him forgiveness or at the very least understanding. He grasped at it, afraid it would suddenly slip away. “Yes we are, darlin’. Yes we are.”

“I’m going to get this out here and now because I don’t know where any of this is going. You’ve made me feel special and cherished with your flowers and dates and kisses good night. I’m starting to believe in you, Cal Sellers, and it scares the hell out of me.

“I couldn’t take it if I walked in on you with another woman again. I don’t know what I’d do, but I know I couldn’t take it. You darn near destroyed me last time, and I ran to the first person who showed me any kindness. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. It was my choice to marry Kevin. I own my part in that. I’m trying really hard to trust you. I want to trust you, but you can’t go off all half-cocked behind my back. If you want to know something about me, then you ask me.”

“And you’ll tell me the truth? No hedging or skating around or leaving out the parts you don’t want to talk about?”

She hesitated, then nodded. “Yes.”

“All right then. I won’t go snooping around where I don’t belong. Come here.” He held out his hand to her, and she took it. “I’m going to say this to
you
right here right now. I take my marriage vows to you very seriously. There isn’t a woman alive who could tempt me away from you.

“I know I’ve hurt you, and I paid the price for it when I lost you and had to stand in the back of that church, watching you pledge your heart and body to someone else. I swore if I ever got a chance with you again I’d be the kind of man you deserved and who deserved you.”

He put a hand on her good cheek. “I want to kiss you so bad.”

She leaned into him, pressing her body right up against his. He got so hard thinking about laying her down on the couch and showing her how much he wanted her and this second chance with her. But he didn’t. Instead he waited, like a virgin kissing a girl for the first time, for her to give him permission. It was a humbling thing to have to ask his wife for a kiss and be unsure of her answer.

CHAPTER TEN

Lucy went up on her toes and brushed her lips across Cal’s. He cupped her face so he wouldn’t be tempted to let his hands wander over her. He wasn’t kidding when he’d told her he liked the way she looked now—all womanly curves and large, full breasts. And her ass. My God, her ass. He wanted to grip it in both hands, haul her up against his erection, and show her what she did to him with nothing more than her body pressed to his and his lips on hers.

He broke the kiss and glanced down at his wife. She was so beautiful even with the swelling and the bruising that she took his breath away. “You’re a gift I don’t deserve. I promise to do my damnedest to make you happy. I want you. And if you ever decide you want me, I promise to make you glad you married me. As many times and in as many ways as you’d like.”

“I don’t doubt that since you’ve already proven yourself in that arena.”

He grinned like the sinner he was. “And yet I still feel like I have something to prove with you. One of these days, darlin’, one of these days, I’ll make good on my promise, and when I do, you’ll have made me the happiest man alive.” He turned her face to examine the bruise just beginning to darken under her eye. “You need more ice. And a hot bath.” He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “I could kill him for laying a hand on you.”

“Don’t. He’s not worth it.”

“Did he ever hurt Poppy?”

“No. She almost never came to his notice except when he wanted to brag about her or use her to get me to do what he wanted.”

He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it. “Go up and take your bath. I’ll look in on her. I need to make sure she’s safe.”

“Sam’s with her, so I’m sure she is. But I know what you mean. I think I’ll go up with you.”

They walked side by side up the stairs, holding hands. He felt both excited and nervous around her as if he were on the verge of completing a huge merger that would make him richer than any man had the right to be. He risked a sideways glance at her. How could he have ever looked at another woman, let alone touched her? He’d been the biggest, most arrogant fool to walk the earth back then. He’d learned his lesson. He would do better by her. He was certainly willing to give it his all.

They found Poppy in the playroom with Sam, who was reading her a book. When they walked in, Poppy clapped her hands and broke out into a huge grin. For Cal. The air in his chest expanded, making it hard for him to breathe. She filled places inside him he hadn’t known were empty. She was
his
.

“There’s my girl.” Lucy rushed over and scooped up her baby, showering her with kisses.

Sam got up from the chair and came over to Cal. “I’m sorry I arrived too late,” he whispered. “By the time I got there he’d hit her in the face and was about to kick her.”

“You stopped him.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then you got there in time. I can’t thank you enough, Sam, for saving my Lucy. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her or Poppy.”

“I’ll be giving a full account of what happened today to Mr. Vega.”

“Could you include your security recommendations? I have some ideas of how we can tighten up, but you’re more of an expert than me. I’d appreciate your suggestions.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thank you. Why don’t you go on downstairs and relax for a bit. You’ve earned it.”

Cal was alone with his girls. He’d watched Lucy be a mother to their daughter many times over the past few weeks, but there was something about watching her now that made him imagine more babies with her. Another two or three, boys, girls, it didn’t matter, as long as they greeted him the way Poppy did now, trying to leap out of her mother’s arms toward him.

“Come here, sweet pea.” He scooped her out of Lucy’s arms and held her. “Did you miss me?”

“She could care less who I am when you’re around.”

“I believe your momma’s jealous. Another female’s captured my heart, and she just can’t take it, can she?”

Poppy grabbed his cheeks so she could rub noses with him. It had become their thing.

“I’m the bringer of food and baths. You’re the big giant plaything who sneaks her sugary cereal—don’t think I don’t know you still do that—and who gives her horsey rides and tickles her.”

“Well, darlin’, I can’t help it if she likes me better.”

“It’s all that bribing.”

“You do what works for you and I’ll do what works for me. Why don’t you go take that bath, and I’ll keep working my wiles on Miss Poppy.”

Lucy hesitated. Watching Poppy with Cal worried her. The more attached she got to him the harder it would be if she had to leave.

“All right. I won’t be long,” she said.

“We’ll be fine. Go on.” He picked up a book, sat down in the rocker with Poppy, and started reading to her.

As Lucy ran the water in the tub, she couldn’t get the sight of Cal holding Poppy out of her head. It made her long for things that might never be. Poppy deserved a father who loved her and who would be there for her. In that regard she’d failed her daughter, she thought as she lowered into the steaming bath water. The first father she’d given her daughter had been neglectful when he hadn’t been abusive and cruel. And now here was Cal wanting to fill the role that should’ve been his in the first place.

But Lucy still wasn’t convinced that Cal had made a full one-eighty where women were concerned. She hadn’t been joking when she’d told him his cheating a second time would destroy her. She’d been more than halfway to falling in love with Cal when she’d walked into his office that fateful afternoon and caught him between the legs of his secretary, her skirt hiked up, his tongue in her mouth, and his hand up her blouse.

She’d stumbled out of his office and down the hall with Cal on her heels. He’d finally caught up to her in the elevator, stammering excuses and mumbling half-hearted apologies. She hadn’t believed a word he’d said then, but now…now she was starting to believe, and that was the most dangerous thing she could ever do.

Because if she believed him, she’d start to trust him. If she trusted him, she’d have to tell him the truth about what happened after she walked out of his office that day. And once it was out, there would be no going back.

With thoughts of Cal and Poppy tumbling around in her head, she couldn’t get comfortable in the tub, so she climbed out and toweled off. It had only been a couple weeks since she and Cal had started spending time together again in this weird married-but-not-quite-a-couple gray area.

She’d watch him when he wasn’t paying attention and she’d remember the good times and what it had felt like to have all of Cal’s attention. What it had felt like to have his hands on her…and his mouth, his incredibly talented, seductive mouth. He’d seduced her with words and then put all of it into action, backing up his boasts with skill.

The first time they’d slept together had been an accident. They’d been at a launch party for one of the products that would be featured on
Pleasure at Home
. She’d been with the show for a couple of years by then. When she bumped into him at the bar and he offered to buy her a free drink with a wink, she accepted. He was cute, and even though he was her boss’s boss and therefore off limits, she didn’t hide her interest in him. A couple hours later and they were slipping out the back door and climbing into his Porsche. He took her to his place. Probably to impress her. It had.

Before she knew it they’d been on the stairs to the second floor, ripping each other’s clothes off. They’d made it as far as the landing and then he was on top of her, sliding into her, her legs wrapped around his waist. She’d never come so hard, so fast in all her life. Then he’d taken her back downstairs and fixed her an omelet. They’d done it a second time with her bent over the countertop and him driving into her from behind.

She hadn’t gotten to see his bedroom until two weeks later. By that time they’d had sex on every available horizontal surface and even a few not so horizontal. It had gone on like that between them for months. He could hardly keep his hands off her. When she’d walked in on him with someone else, she’d been beyond shocked and humiliated. It had brought her world down around her. And then she’d met Kevin. He’d been everything Cal hadn’t. Or so she’d thought.

Lucy changed into clean clothes and went down the hall to check on her husband and daughter. She found Cal rocking a sleeping Poppy. He hummed softly. She started to go into the room, but Cal’s whispered words stopped her.

“If you were mine, I’d never let you go. If you were mine, I’d make sure you knew how much you were loved and wanted every day.” He kissed Poppy’s forehead, and Lucy’s eyes filled with tears.

This was what every child should have, a father who loved her and wanted her. It was what Lucy should’ve had and what Poppy should’ve had all along. She backed out of the doorway, smothering a sob with her hand.

No matter what had happened between them, Lucy realized now that she never should’ve kept Poppy from her father and Cal from his daughter.