Lush (8 page)

“What kinds of classes would you take? What are you interested in?”

“You ask really tough questions.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “Not that tough. What did you want to be when you grew up?”

“Well, when I was four, I wanted to be a ballerina. You’ve seen my dancing skills, so that would’ve been a bust. Then when I was twelve I was crazy about horses, but I don’t think you could make a living at that. I went through a series of occupations—veterinarian, singer of a rock band, interior designer, firefighter—”

“Firefighter?”

“I was dating a guy who had just started at the academy so…” She shrugged. “I did look into nursing a couple of months ago, but I didn’t have the funds for school, so that was out.”

“You have the funds now.”

“No, you have the funds.”

“Lucy, we’re married. What’s mine is yours.”

“That’s a fair trade for me, but not for you. Besides nursing school would take longer than our marriage would last, and then what?”

He looked down at his hands folded in his lap. “Yup. One year. That was the deal.”

“I think I’m ready for the Jacuzzi now.” She stood up and adjusted her robe.

He grabbed the belt of her robe. “This year can be anything we want it to be. Anything at all.” He tugged, making her move toward him. “Sign up for that school if that’s what you want, darlin’. If you like, you can think of it as my parting gift to you. I won’t be the reason you don’t follow your dreams. I won’t hold you down or hold you back. Ever.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I know I don’t.” His voice held a quiet sort of anger. He jerked on her tie again, and she had to grab it with both hands to keep her robe from popping open. “I want to. Let me.”

“Cal.” Lucy searched his face for some kind of clue as to what was going to happen next. Knowing what was coming had saved her more than a time or two when things got angry and out of control.

“Do you think just once you could let me give you something without questioning my motives?”

She gripped her robe tighter, the familiar spiral where everything suddenly turned against her reaching out for her. “I’ll do whatever you want, Cal.”

“Whatever I want?”

She nodded.

“Sit down.”

She made to go back to her chair, but he still had a hold of her.

“On my lap.” He patted his leg with his free hand.

She watched him, wondering what he was playing at. He’d become all serious and calm as though he was asking her to do something simple or this was some kind of test. He made no move other than the smile that crept slowly across his face.

“Sit down, darlin’.”

She lowered herself onto his leg, balancing so she could pop up at any moment.

“Now, put your head right here.” He patted his shoulder.

“Why?”

“You said you’d do whatever I wanted. I want to hold you, darlin’.”

She lowered her gaze to his shoulder and then felt herself leaning in. His arms came up around her, loose and comforting. It had been a long time since a man had held her. She settled against him, placing her hands on his chest. This was a dangerous proposition. This hope that unfurled slowly, uncertainly.

She trusted him, she suddenly realized. And that was the most dangerous thing she could ever do. Because if she trusted him, she’d let him in. Once he got in, she didn’t think she could ever get him back out.

CHAPTER EIGHT

She tucked herself in tight, bringing her legs up and curling into him like a child. Cal held her tighter, dropping his cheek to the top of her head. She was so warm and good smelling. And soft, so soft. Her skin, her hair, her lush curves pressed against him. He inhaled, taking more of her in as though he needed her very essence to survive.

He was an idiot to think that he could ever let her go again.

“Cal?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“The wedding was really beautiful. And my dress… I’ve never worn one like it. And the flowers and the decorations… It was all perfect.”

“I’m glad you liked it since you picked everything out.”

She nudged his shoulder. “You know what I mean. None of it was necessary.”

“Darlin’, it was all necessary. And worth it.”

“It wasn’t, but thank you for it anyway.”

“You’re welcome.”

She yawned. “I think I’m too tired for the Jacuzzi.”

“Me too. Seems a shame not to use it though. Maybe tomorrow before we leave.”

“This is the first time I’ve ever been away from Poppy. I’m not sure how much longer I can bear to stay away from her.”

Running a hand over her hair, he chuckled. “Well then, we’ll just have to come back some other time.”

Her little hand snaked up and around his neck to play with his hair as he was doing with hers. “Seems kind of extravagant.”

“But fun.”

“Yeah.”

She snuggled deeper into him, and her other hand came around his waist to his back. She was getting bolder. He could sit like this with her forever.

“Cal?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“Could I…?” She let out a breath that blew hot against his neck. “Could I ask you a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Stop sneaking Poppy that sugary cereal. I can’t get her to eat the good stuff anymore.”

He pulled back to look at her. “How did you know?”

“I can smell it on her, and the other day her cheek was still sticky from it. It’s not good for her.”

“I was bribing her to like me, but I’ll stop.”

“You don’t need to bribe her to like you. She likes you almost better than she likes me.”

“Then the bribes worked. What can I bribe
you
with?” He was close enough to kiss her. All he had to do was lean down a bit.

“You don’t need to bribe me either.”

“You mean you already like me?”

“Maybe more than I should.”

His gaze dropped to her mouth. “How much do you like me?”

“Definitely more than I should.”

“Enough to let me kiss you?”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Just enough.”

He lowered his mouth to hers. Her hand at his nape encouraged him to get closer. Then they were kissing. A light, testing kind of kiss as though they were learning each other all over again. And maybe they were. They definitely weren’t the same people they’d been seventeen months ago. He kept it easy, enjoying the feel of her at this new angle and the way she sifted her hand through his hair. Everything felt new and a little scary. A fragile kind of peace was building between them. He’d have to step lightly, careful not to trample it the way he’d so carelessly done before.

Reluctantly breaking the kiss, he glanced down at her to gage her reaction. Her lids stayed closed a moment and then she sighed.

“You’re really good at that,” she whispered, her eyes fluttering open.

Her compliment made him grin. She always kept him a tad off balance.

“So are you,” he answered back.

“We should do that more often.”

“I agree. We can do it as often as you’d like.”

“I think I should go to bed now.”

“All right.”

She disentangled herself from him, stood, and adjusted her robe. Tucking her arms around herself tight, she looked at him as though he was an unsolvable puzzle. “I’m not sure what to believe here.”

“What do you want to believe?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think you do, but you’re too afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“Then what are you?”

“Cautious. If it was just me…”

“If it was just you, what? What would you do?” he challenged.

She shifted her stance, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I’d ask you to come to bed with me.”

“But you won’t because of Poppy.”

“If I’m wrong—”

“You’re not wrong, and you’re not asking me to go to bed with you because you’re afraid.”

“I am not.”

“What are you scared of? What’s going to happen if we sleep together?”

“I might start believing in you again.”

“You’re already starting to believe in me or else you wouldn’t have brought up taking me to your bed.”

“Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

She turned to go, but he grabbed her arm. Trying to pull out of his grip, she shrank from him, a desperate, wide-eyed look on her face.

“Lucy, stop. Settle down.”

“Let go of me.”

“Okay.”

He released her, and she stepped out of his reach, staring at him as though she was trying to anticipate what he might do next.

“When I reach for you—” he began in the gentlest tone he could manage with the rage he felt against her ex boiling just below the surface. If he ever got a hold of that asshole… “—it will be to stroke you, to soothe you, or to get you so hot for me you can’t think of anything but having me buried deep inside you. It will never be to hurt you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve hurt you in a lot of ways, Lucy. I know that. I have to live with it and find a way to make up for it. But I will never harm you physically. Ever.”

“I know you won’t.”

“Good.” But she didn’t, not really. It was more about her wanting to believe than the actual believing of it. But it was a start, a place for them to begin. “I swear to you, darlin’, that I will do everything in my power to never hurt you again. And I want more than anything to accept your non-offer to take you to bed. You don’t know how much I want that. But I won’t. Not until we get some things settled between us that only time and new experiences can create.”

“What kind of new experiences?” He could tell she was curious. And interested.

“The kind that make you forget and forgive. I’m going to earn your forgiveness if it’s the last thing I do. And then you’ll forget why you were mad at me in the first place.”

“And how are you going to do that?”

“I’m going to woo you.”

“Woo me. That’s backward, isn’t it? Seeing as how we’re already married.”

“I still have my work cut out for me though, don’t I?”

She pressed her lips together. “Hmm.”

“I’m up for the challenge.”

“Why? I thought this was just a business arrangement. You’re paying me to be your wife, for crying out loud. That’s not exactly romantic.”

“The idea was that I would help you and you would help me. Except you haven’t cashed your check. Technically no money has changed hands. By the way, why haven’t you cashed it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe you see the same potential here that I do. Maybe you remember how good it used to be between us. Maybe you want me in your bed so bad it’s all you can think about.”

“And maybe it would be a moot point anyway because your head would be too big to fit through my bedroom door.”

Lucy was pretty sure this man had gone insane, and then he threw his head back and laughed and she
knew
he had. He certainly wasn’t the same Cal she’d been with before. That Cal would’ve had her robe open and her begging for release within three minutes of her walking into the room.
This
Cal held her gently and asked to kiss her and woo her. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with this Cal. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to take him to bed and find out all of the other ways in which he’d changed.

“You are definitely right about that, darlin’. And that’s what got me into hot water with you in the first place. But I’m here now, willing to try. What do you say, will you be my girl?”

“Are you asking your wife to go steady with you? You have gone crazy.”

“Crazy about you. Come here and kiss me good night.”

He slid his hand down her arm and tugged on her wrist. This time she didn’t resist him. He brought her to stand between his legs. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked down into the wildest blue eyes she’d ever seen. She was crazy about him too, but it wasn’t the same as it had been before. Back then she’d been crazy blind with need for him and just plain all around crazy blind where he was concerned. She wondered if maybe he was more dangerous to her now than he’d ever been before.

He put his hands at her waist, then smoothed them up her back. “Give me a kiss good night.” His voice held all the wicked promise of the old Cal, but his words were the gentle promise and boast of the new Cal.

She leaned down and gave him a chaste good-night kiss. He didn’t pressure her for more and let her slip away from him toward her bedroom.

“Good night.”

“Good night, darlin’.”

CHAPTER NINE

It had been two weeks since her husband had asked her to go steady with him and had started to court her. They’d been on seven dates, and he’d come to the door with flowers each time. At the end of the night he’d escorted her to her bedroom door, kissed her good night and then walked across the hall to his room. It was very strange and kind of thrilling.

It also made it hard to keep her mind on planning her first dinner party as Mrs. Cal Sellers. The caterer had already had to break her out of her daydreaming twice during their meeting, and even now Lucy struggled to follow what he was saying. Something about aperitifs and amuse-bouches, whatever they were. She nodded along, trusting that this man knew more about fancy dinner parties than she did. After all, it was his job.

“Mrs. Sellers?”

Lucy looked up to find their housekeeper in the dining room doorway. “Yes, Hazel?”

“There’s a delivery at the gate. Were you expecting it?”

“What kind of delivery?”

“Flowers. For you.”

“Oh. No, I wasn’t expecting it.”

“From your husband?” The caterer winked.

“Probably. The flowers for the party aren’t supposed to arrive until day after tomorrow, right?”

“Correct.”

“Should I let them up?” Hazel asked.

“Yes, please. Thank you, Hazel.”

“Now about the table décor,” the caterer went on. “I think a long, low centerpiece would set things off nicely. Here’s a photo of what I had in mind.” He handed her his tablet to look at.

“Oh, that’s pretty. Yes, that one.”

“Excellent. Then we’re all done here.”

He packed up his things, and she showed him to the door, uncertain of everything she’d chosen. She wanted the party to be perfect and for Cal to be proud of her. He’d more than held up his end of their bargain, and now she was going to play hostess to the man whose company Cal wanted to buy. The company that could mean millions to Sellers Investments.

As the caterer went out the door, the deliveryman came up the walk carrying the largest bouquet of roses Lucy had ever seen. It was a wonder the man could see where he was going. Cal had outdone himself this time.

“Sign here.” He thrust a clipboard at her.

She started to sign her name, except it was the wrong name on the order form. “There must be a mistake. My last name’s not Walker, it’s Sellers.”

The deliveryman thrust the flowers off to the side and grabbed for her, pulling her through the doorway. He put a hand to her throat and pinned her up against the house. “Your name will always be Mrs. Kevin Walker no matter who you spread your legs for.”

The shock of seeing Kevin was eclipsed only by the sheer terror of his fingers digging into her windpipe. She couldn’t move, thrust back to the days when she lived under his brutal hands and the pain he could inflict.

His grip tightened on her throat as he lifted her. “You’re a whore.”

She fought for air, her hands coming up to pry at his, her legs scrambling for purchase. He shoved a hand between her legs and squeezed. Spots danced in front of her eyes. She reached out blindly, trying to get at him, and caught him in the face, raking his cheek with her nails. He howled in pain and released her. She slid down the side of the house.

“Bitch!” He smacked her face hard, knocking her flat.

She curled into a ball as he drew his foot back to kick her. Only the blow never landed. A grunt and sickening, bone-crunching sound brought her head up. Sam the nanny stood over Kevin, who writhed on the ground, covering his face with his hands, blood gushing from between his fingers.

“Are you all right, Mrs. Sellers?” Sam asked, keeping his gaze on Kevin.

Lucy put her hand over her stinging cheek. “Yeah. I think so.”

“I don’t care who you fuck,” Kevin said, his voice muffled by his hands. “I want my daughter back.”

“She’s not yours.” She staggered to her feet, the rage against her ex rising inside her. “She’s mine. And you’re not getting anything but the hell out of here.”

“I’m calling the police,” Sam said.

Kevin struggled to stand. “You’re nothing but a bitch and a whore. I’m going to get my daughter back if I have to kill you to do it.”

Lucy got as close to him as she dared. “You’ll never get her. I’ll kill you before you ever lay a hand on her.”

He lunged for her, but Sam leapt, swinging his leg up and connecting with Kevin’s jaw. Kevin folded and dropped to the grass, unconscious. Lucy glanced from Sam to Kevin then back again.

“Where’d you learn that?”

“Nanny school.”

“You did not learn that in nanny school.”

Sam shrugged, then bent to turn Kevin on his stomach and secured his hands with a zip tie. Not exactly normal nanny paraphernalia. Kevin was still out when Sam rolled him onto his back again and checked his pulse.

Sam looked up at Lucy. “You should get some ice on that cheek. It’s starting to swell. And you’ve got a little blood right here.” He motioned toward the corner of his mouth.

She wiped at the blood and put her palm to her hot cheek. It would probably bruise too. How was she going to explain this to Cal’s business associates two nights from now? How was she going to explain this to Cal?

“We’ve got a little situation here,” Sam said into his phone. “I’ve got it handled, but you may want to see about your wife.”

Lucy waved her hands at Sam. “Don’t tell him,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”

Kevin had invaded their home. The police had been summoned. This was not part of their bargain. Their arrangement might have started out as a business deal, but it was starting to become more than that. The last thing she wanted was for her past with Kevin to invade her present with Cal.

“Her ex showed up at the house,” Sam said into his phone. “By the time I heard what was going on he had her on the ground.”

Lucy glared at Sam as best she could with one partially swollen eye.

“He got her in the face before I could stop him. He’s out cold and cuffed right now. The police are on their way.” He held his phone away from his ear. She could plainly hear Cal’s string of expletives from where she stood. When there was a pause, Sam put the phone back to his ear. “No, sir. But she could use some ice, and she’ll probably have a shiner.” He held the phone out again. “Yes, sir. I understand. I’ll give you a full report when you get here.” He hung up. “You should get that ice,” he said to Lucy.

“You’re not really a nanny, are you?”

“Yes, ma’am, I am.”

“Then you’re not
just
a nanny. What else are you?”

“British Special Forces. Formerly.” He pointed to his cheek. “If you don’t get that ice, I’ve been instructed to call you an ambulance. A bag of frozen peas works well.”

Sirens wailed in the distance.

“Fine.”

She stormed into the house and grabbed the next best thing—a bag of frozen corn wrapped in a towel. On her way back outside she caught sight of herself in the mirror in the entryway. Kevin sure knew how to cause the most damage from the least amount of effort. But then he’d had a lot of practice. She put some spit on her finger and wiped at the blood at the corner of her mouth. She was going to be bruised from her jaw to her eye. His ring had caught her mouth and split the skin, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Thank God Sam had been there to stop it.

By the time she got back to where Sam stood over a just-coming-around Kevin, the police were rolling up. They took her and Sam’s statements and put Kevin in the back of one of the cruisers.

She was finishing up with one of the officers when Cal arrived. He took one look at her and stalled. His face went pale. She had the makeshift ice pack over the worst of it. Wait until he saw what was underneath.

“That’s my husband,” she told the officer when they stopped him at the edge of the walk. “Please let him through.”

Cal approached her slowly, his gaze never leaving her. He looked…heartbroken. There was no other way to describe it. She’d never seen that expression on him. Tears pinched the backs of her eyes. He gently drew the ice pack down.

“Oh, darlin’,” he breathed.

That was all it took. She burst into tears. He wrapped her in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he kept repeating. “I’m so sorry.”

She gripped the back of his jacket and held on. This was all her fault. She’d brought this to his home—the police, the drama. It would probably make the news. Not exactly the kind of family values Cal wanted to present.

She pulled back to look up at him. “No. I’m sorry. I brought all of this to you, to your home—”

“Shh. This isn’t your fault. I knew what he was capable of, and I didn’t adequately protect you.”

“What do you mean you knew?”

“Mrs. Sellers,” one of the officers interrupted. “Here’s my card with the case number.” He handed her a card. “If you have any questions, give us a call.”

Cal glanced up past the officer and spotted her asshole ex in the back of one of the police cars. Before he thought to do it, he was moving in that direction. He’d never wanted to hurt someone so bad in all his life. He came right up to the car window and banged on it with the side of his fist. He wanted this asshole’s full attention.

“You ever touch my wife or come within a thousand feet of her again and I will end you.”

“Sir. Back away from the car,” one of the officers warned.

“Cal, don’t,” Lucy pleaded, pulling on his arm. “He’s not worth it.”

Cal stepped away.

“She’s a whore,” Kevin yelled. “She’s always been nothing but a whore.”

Cal went for him but was held back by Sam and one of the officers. “I mean it,” Cal shouted. “Stay away from her.” He jerked out of their grasp. Wrapping an arm around Lucy, he eased her up the walk and into the house.

He brought her into his office and closed the door behind them. Leaning back against it, he tipped his head up and closed his eyes. The bastard got to her. It was all he could think about the whole way home and then when he saw her and the damage to her face… Son of a bitch! He had one job,
one
—to protect her—and he’d fucked it up.

“I’m sorry.” He opened his eyes to look at her.

“It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention… I never dreamed he’d come here. I’m so, so sorry. I should’ve told you about him. This wasn’t part of the bargain, all this chaos and the publicity… Oh, Cal, I’m so sorry. Your dinner party… I’ve ruined everything.” She burst into tears again, and it was like someone twisted a knife in his chest.

He went to her and held her. “No, darlin’. This is my fault, not yours.”

She looked up at him with her watery eyes and half-swollen face, and he wanted to punch something. “What did you mean outside when you said that you knew what he was capable of? I never told you anything about him. In fact, now that I think about it, you’ve never asked about him or my time with him.”

“Why in the hell would I want to hear about you and another man?”

She pulled away from him and wiped at the tears still falling down her face, each one like acid on his heart.

“You’re avoiding my question, and I know why. You had him investigated, didn’t you?” Her expression changed from disbelief to anger. “Oh, my God. That’s why you hired Sam—to protect us. I know he’s not just a nanny. He’s Special Forces, for God’s sake. Well, let’s have it.” She flung her hands out, then crossed her arms over her chest. “All of it. What do you know?”

“Now, darlin’.” He tried to soothe her, his mind running through what needed to be done to insure his wife and daughter’s safety. “This isn’t the time to hash this out. I need to get Lucas on the line so he can get his guys down here to rework our security.”

He’d hire four, no six guards around the clock, with a new security procedure for anyone trying to get through the front gate. Walker had gotten past it too easily. If he could, then anyone could. He’d promised her they’d be safe here. They weren’t. None of them were. He moved toward his desk to make a list of everything they were going to need.

“Cal Sellers, you stop avoiding my question and answer me right now!”

He pulled up short and turned toward her. “Fine. You really want to know? Hell yes, I had him investigated. You were a cagey little thing when it came to answering questions about him. I asked you flat out why he didn’t have visitation with Poppy, and while you didn’t lie, you didn’t exactly tell the truth, did you? Otherwise you would’ve told me about the restraining order and the multiple,
multiple
arrests for beating you bloody.”

He stalked toward her, angry with her and her asshole ex, but mostly he was furious with himself. “I saw the pictures of you, Lucy. I
saw
them. So, yeah. I knew what I was getting into with you when I married you and I did it anyway.”

Lucy couldn’t believe it. She was such an idiot. Cal hadn’t married her because he’d wanted her. He’d married her as some kind of community service penance. She’d carried the shame of what she’d been through for months and months, hiding the worst of it from everyone in her life including Lucas and Mi, and now because of Cal’s need to know and control
everything
, her life had been broken open for everyone to inspect and judge. They’d look at her with pity in their eyes, and she’d always be a victim. She’d always be the woman who stupidly stayed with a man who beat her.