Authors: Carly Phillips
He exhaled long and hard. “I feel relieved.” He chose his words carefully. “I'm relieved you're not in danger anymore. I'm glad your plan to push Mary Perkins out into the open worked. But do I feel freed from the curse? Not really, no.”
A muscle worked in her jaw. “Why am I not surprised?” she asked sarcastically, her anger simmering just below the surface.
He understood. He did. He was angry at Fate, too. But he hadn't lied to her. He'd never once made her a promise for more than
today,
and he'd never denied the fact that his family's history played a role in the choices he made.
“Mary Perkins tormented people by preying on their weakness. Those people are freed. But me? The men in my family? Nothing that happened today changes the fact that for generations, every male who has fallen in love loses in unfathomable ways.” He drew a deep breath. “And, as an added bonus, not one of the women who've been involved with a Corwin man has escaped unscathed. Look at what nearly happened to you today. Because you were writing about my family. We are cursed,” he said clearly.
“That is such bull. How has the curse kicked in for you? It's not as if you've said you love me, Derek. I doubt you'd even let yourself think it. So how does what happened today fit into the curse?” she asked, obviously frustrated.
He groaned, unable to argue with her logic. But logic wasn't ruling his decisions. Fear and past evidence was. “Even if it doesn't, I can't take the constant fear that something awful is going to happen to you because of me. I'm not going to let you be hurt.”
She cupped his face in her hands, refusing to let him pull away. “Then don't walk away from me.”
He swallowed hard, fighting not to respond to her plea, to keep his distance when everything in him rebelled against it. “I have to.”
“Make no mistake, Derek. If I leave this house today, it's you walking away from me. Not the other way around. I don't believe in curses, but if there is one, I believe our love is much more powerful.”
Her heart was in her voice and her eyes.
His heart filled every time he looked at her. “I've seen the history. Hell, I've lived it. I'm not tempting Fate.” He couldn't.
Like his daughter, Gabrielle was too precious.
“That's your final decision? Despite the fact that I love you with everything inside me?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Not despite the fact that you love me, Gabby.
Because
you love me.”
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F
OR THE FIRST FEW DAYS
after the fire, Gabrielle kept herself busy with work. She had lost her man, but she was determined to write her book. Even if she'd failed to prove to Derek that circumstances, not curses, dictated the course of one's life, she still believed it herself.
Like Gabrielle, Kayla wasn't about to let the fire prevent her from continuing her story, which had grown in scope since Mayor Perkins's arrest. Kayla wanted to continue working in Stewart and Perkins, so instead of moving home, she returned to Mrs. Rhodes's inn for the duration of filming.
It wasn't easy to stay in town and no longer be with Derek, but Gabrielle powered through. She'd be back at her big, lonely apartment in Boston soon enough. After five days, Kayla declared she had enough interviews and footage to go forward. She packed up her crew and returned to Boston.
Freed up from the constant camera presence, Gabrielle headed for Sharon's house with a bottle of wine. Though she'd spoken with Sharon since the fire, they'd agreed not to hang out until they could have a girls' nightâno men and more important, no camera crew tagging along.
Sharon's parents were at the movies and they had the family room to themselves. Sharon put the DVD of
Ocean's Eleven
on television, satisfying Gabrielle's George Clooney fix while giving Sharon her fill of Brad Pitt.
Half a bottle of chardonnay later, Sharon raised her glass in a toast. “To handsome men.”
Gabrielle grinned. “To handsome men who know how to treat women.” She clinked her glass against Sharon's.
“To fictional men,” Sharon said with a wistful sigh.
“What's going on? I thought with the threat to Richard's campaign over, things between the two of you would be back on track.” Gabrielle took a sip of her wine.
Sharon stretched her legs out in front of her and wiggled her toes. “I think my toes are numb,” she said, laughing.
“Quit avoiding the question.”
Sharon shrugged. “You're assuming things were ever normal. I told you, I don't think he really knows me. I felt so lucky a good man would want to marry me, I let him think I'd become this docile, fragile female.”
Gabrielle frowned. “I thought that's why you bought the lingerie at Victoria's Secret. To show him the real you.” She nudged Sharon's feet with hers. “What happened?”
“He's been working nonstop. Or he's been avoiding having the big discussion. I'm not sure which.”
Gabrielle raised an eyebrow. “Don't you think it's time you found out?”
Sharon downed the last of her glass. “You know what? I think you're right. I'll be right back.” She stood and ran upstairs.
Sharon was gone for a while. Whatever she had planned, Gabrielle figured the wine had put her up to it. But Sharon did need to face Richard once and for all.
Sharon came back down the stairs wearing the teddy she'd purchased on their shopping trip and a pair of high-heeled sandals.
Gabrielle's eyes opened wide. She jumped up from her seat on the floor. “Where are you going dressed like that?”
Sharon opened the hall closet and pulled out a light trench coat and pulled it on, wrapping the belt tight around her waist. Then she grabbed her car keys. “To show Richard the real me.”
Gabrielle reached out and snagged the keys from her hand. Neither one of them were in any shape to drive. “I'll call a cab to drive me home and we can drop you off along the way.”
She hoped her friend had better luck during her upcoming conversation with Richard than she'd had with Derek.
Â
T
HE EFFECTS OF THE WINE
had started to wear off in the cab. Now, standing on the doorstep, Sharon shivered and pulled the trench coat tighter as she rang the doorbell once more, waiting for Richard to answer. The light in the upstairs room told her he was home. She couldn't, wouldn't back out now. Richard would love and accept her or he wouldn't. At least she would know.
Finally, he opened the door, startled when he realized she was waiting on the other side. “Sharon!”
“Hi.” One hand gripped the top of her coat collar. With her free hand, she waved.
“What are you doing here at this hour?” he asked, concerned.
“Can I come in?”
“You don't need to ask. It's your house, too.” He pushed open the door and let her inside. “Which begs the question, why didn't you use your key?”
“I didn't want to scare you half to death. You weren't expecting me.”
He nodded. “Can I take your coat?”
“Not yet.” She clutched it closer.
He had on an old pair of gray sweats and nothing else. His chest and his feet were bare.
“I got you out of bed, didn't I?”
He narrowed his gaze. “Honey, you're acting really odd. Is everything okay?”
She nodded. “You've been acting odd, too,” she said, taking his opening. “With Mary out of the race, you're running unopposed. You should be freer than ever and yet you're not available.” She swallowed hard. “At least not to me, and I want to know why.”
He strode across the room, placing distance between them. “For the same reasons you've been uptight around me, I guess.”
“The picture? It turned you off? Showed you things you didn't want to ever imagine?”
He shook his head. “It showed me things I couldn't bear to face. I hate what that bastard did to you. It just reinforced what I've felt all along. That you're special and precious and you need to be treated gently and with care.”
“That's not what I want. Not what I need. It's not even who I am,” Sharon said, pulling at the ties that held her coat together. Her hands were trembling as she worked to free the buttons next. “You seemed to want a politician's wife, a perfect china doll. I was so grateful you wanted me after everything that had happened, I would have become whatever you expected.”
Tears fell from her eyes as she admitted the most painful thing of all. “But that's not me.
This
is me.” She finally shrugged off the coat and displayed the sexy lingerie she'd bought just for a reveal like this one.
He sucked in a startled breath.
Silence greeted her.
“This is me, Richard. I don't want to be treated as if I'm made of fine bone china. I want to know what it's like for you to want me. I need you to be so turned on that you can barely think.”
He exhaled. A low groan escaped from the back of his throat. She took it as a good sign and stepped forward, trying to ignore the fact that her legs shook and her body trembled.
“I thought you were avoiding me. Then I worried that you wouldn't want me if you knew I wanted, needed more than you've given me so far.”
His eyes darkened. She hoped it was desire she saw in those depths. “Not want you?” he asked in a gruff voice she barely recognized. “I go to sleep wanting you. I wake up missing you. And when I'm with you, I'm so afraid you'll shatter, I can't do anything right.” His body was tense.
But she wasn't ready to touch him yet. “And now that you know I let you believe I was some fragile flower? Now that you know I'm notâ¦I'm over the past, over what Tony did to me. I'm just a woman who wants you. What happens to us now?” she asked him.
He slid his finger beneath the strap on her silk teddy, then suddenly yanked hard, tearing the soft fabric. The garment slipped, exposing one breast.
Her nipple puckered beneath the cool air, but she didn't rush to cover up.
“You don't realize it, but before those pictures resurfaced, I saw glimpses of the real you. I knew you were still getting over your past and I was happy to give you the time you needed. Then, suddenly, you reverted.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I didn't know you were being blackmailed, but I knew something had changed. So I backed off even more. I was giving you time.”
She swallowed hard. “I don't want time. I just want you.”
“Thank God. I want to know the real you and I want you to know the real me,” he said in a husky tone. Then, slowly, tantalizingly, he lowered his head until just his breath hovered over one tight nipple.
“And then?” she asked on barely a whisper.
“Then we get married as planned,” he said, enclosing his mouth around her.
And that was just the beginningâ¦.
D
EREK NEEDED A CHANGE
of scenery, so he drove to New York to pick up Holly instead of meeting Marlene and John halfway. The newlyweds had bought a house a half hour outside of the city, in a place called Larchmont. Holly wanted Derek to see where she'd be living in a few weeks, so he agreed to pick her up there. His daughter was actually looking forward to living in a house instead of an apartment and starting a new school. Derek was sure her nerves would kick in closer to the first day, but for now when he spoke to her on the phone, Holly seemed like her easygoing self.
He rang the doorbell of the colonial-style house and was greeted by Holly, who'd come to a skidding halt in her socks as she opened the front door.
“Hey, kiddo!” He greeted her with a wave.
She hugged him tight. “Dad! Come check out my new room. It's so much bigger than my room in the city. And Mom even said I can use the sheets and comforter you got for me.”
“She did?” he asked, unable to contain his surprise.
“I did.” Marlene came up behind Holly. “Honey, why don't you go get your bags packed to go to your dad's?”
“I'm packed.”
“Then double-check you didn't forget anything,” Marlene said pointedly.
Holly rolled her eyes. “The grown-ups want to talk,” she said, stomping back toward the stairs with added force on each step.
Marlene shook her head and laughed. “I swear, sometimes I think I'm already living with a hormonal teenager.”
“Soon enough,” he said, shuddering at the thought.
“Come on in,” she said, holding the door open. “I thought we could talk.”
He followed her into the house, which was still empty of furniture. “We're having the place painted next week,” she said.
“It's a beautiful house. Great place for Holly to grow up.”
Marlene nodded. “John wanted to be here to say hello, but I explained to him that we needed to talk alone.”
“Okay,” Derek said warily.
She led him into the kitchen where a bridge table and chairs had been set up. “Have a seat. It's the best I can offer,” she said, waving at the folding chairs.
Since she wanted to talk, he remained silent until she broached whatever she needed to say. He wasn't about to give her an opening, or heaven forbid, more ammunition to use against him. Although he had to admit that ever since he'd called to confirm this weekend, she'd been more than accommodating with him. But that was Marlene, at least where he was concerned. He never knew what to expect.
“I told John what went on when I picked up Holly from you last week.”
Derek inclined his head. “I'm not sure exactly which thing you're referring to.”
Marlene's cheeks flushed pink. “Well, he wasn't thrilled that I picked Holly up a day early,” she said without meeting his gaze. “John didn't think that was fair to you. Especially with us coming home early. And then, when I told him I'd threatened to sue you for full custody and accused you of putting Gabrielle before Holly⦔ She twisted her hands together nervously. “John was furious,” she said, the admission obviously not an easy one for her to make.
Derek leaned forward in his seat. “Why was John upset with you?”
She laughed nervously. “He just knows me so well. And I'd promised him and myself I'd stop using Holly as a weapon against you. As you said, we'd gotten past a lot of old baggage. But last weekâ¦John accused me of being spiteful and jealous of Gabrielle. He said if knowing you were with Gabrielle bothered me, then obviously you and I have unresolved issues,” she said, gesturing between them.
Derek cocked his head to one side. “And you agree with him?”
“Yes, I do.” She let out a sigh. “This isn't easy for me. Meeting
her
wasn't easy for me. She's always been between us, you know.”
He shook his head, denying it. “I never wanted you to feel that way.”
She shrugged. “In the beginning, I had no idea, but after my first trip to Stewart with you, I learned more about her than I ever wanted to know. It put her between us. And the harder you worked and the less time you spent at home, I felt sure it was because you wished you'd never gotten me pregnant. Never had to marry me. I always thought you wished I was Gabrielle,” Marlene admitted.
Derek was stunned. In all their years together, they'd never talked about Gabrielle. They'd never talked like this.
He met Marlene's gaze. “I'm sorry. That was never my intention. If I could have been with Gabrielle, I would have been. I chose to marry you.”
She waved her hand through the air. “That's all old news. But she's in your life now and I have to come to terms with it. Just like you've had to come to terms with John in mine and in Holly's.”
Derek shook his head. “She's not in my life. I was giving her a place to stay while she was in trouble and making sure she was safe, but we're notâ¦We aren't together anymore.”
Marlene narrowed her gaze. “Why the hell not?” she asked him.
He blinked at the vehemence in her tone. “Because⦔ He struggled for a way to explain himself that wouldn't hurt Marlene's feelings. He'd cared about her in a special way, and if he confessed that he couldn't be with Gabrielle because he loved her, it would be the same as admitting he'd never been in love with Marlene.
He loved Gabrielle.
Holyâ
“Derek, did you hear what I said?”
He shook his head, wishing he hadn't heard his own thoughts.
“I said that the curse is bullshit,” Marlene said.
He raised his gaze, focusing on his usually polite ex-wife. She rarely cursed. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You might never have explained the curse or your feelings for Gabrielle to me, but other people have. And I've spent enough time with your father to understand the way of things with you Corwin men. You were madly in love with Gabrielle but you broke up with her rather than admit it, to spare yourself the pain involved in the curse.”
Derek opened his mouth, but when she raised her hand to stop him, he shut it again.
“Let me finish,” Marlene demanded.
“Go on.” He gestured for her to do just that.
“You married me because I was pregnant, but most important you married me because you weren't
in love with me.
”
“I never said that.”
“You didn't have to. You never told me you loved me, either.” She spoke evenly, indicating she was long over the fact he hadn't loved her and long over him.
Which didn't alleviate his sense of guilt or shame. “Marleneâ”
She shook her head. “Let it go. I have. Or at least I thought I had until I had to face Gabrielle in the flesh. But I'm past that now. You and I have a great little girl. We did something good together.”
“That we did.” He smiled at the thought of Holly.
“But now you have a second chance to make things right with Gabrielle. Why aren't you two together? Because you're afraid to admit you love her and let some crazy curse kick in?” She stared at him as if he were mad.
The way he was feeling lately, she might just be right.
“Things happen in life. Divorce statistics are high. People die every day for no reason. They might get hit by a bus or a car. Others have affairs and ruin their lives. People make choices, but bad things do not happen because of a curse!” she said, her voice rising. “Sorry. But think about it.”
He rubbed his hand over his burning eyes. “It's all I have thought about. Don't you think Gabrielle's said the same things to me?”
Marlene smiled. “I'm sure she has. But you obviously aren't listening to her, so I'm asking you to listen to me. This woman has been a part of you for the past fourteen or fifteen years. She will continue to be a part of you whether or not you deny her a place in your life. So you have a choice. You can be lonely, stubborn and stupid like your father and his brothers or you can reach out and grab what you've always wanted.” She rose to her feet.
Derek stood, too. “I can't stand by and lose her in some awful way.” The fire came to mind. The waiting desperately to see if Gabrielle had lived or diedâ¦only to push her out of his life hours later.
His head began to pound. So did his heart, with possibilities he'd never allowed himself to imagine. Could Gabrielle and Marlene be right?
Was it worth it to live like a shell of himself in case the curse kicked in? Or was he better off diving into those deep waters and at least enjoying whatever life gave him?
Gave
them,
here and now?
“Come on, Derek. Loss is a part of life. Are you any less miserable now than if you two were together and something happened later? Like I said, she's a part of you and always has been. She always will be. The question is, what are you willing to do about it?”
He nodded, finally getting it. Finally hearing what Gabrielle had been trying to tell him for so long. “Thank you,” he said to his ex-wife.
“Thank your daughter. She's the one who told me what a great person Gabrielle is, how happy she makes you and how she makes Holly feel as important as John does.” Marlene shrugged. “An eleven-year-old reminded me that I don't need to feel threatened because she doesn't. Go figure.” Marlene laughed.
Thinking of his precocious daughter, Derek grinned.
He still had more to mull over. He couldn't just dump years of ingrained beliefs in ten minutes, but Marlene had given him a lot to digest. Gabrielle had always been a part of him. She always would be. What
was
he accomplishing by keeping them apart?
The answer was simple. He wasn't accomplishing a damn thing. But did he have the courage to defy the old family curse?
Â
G
ABRIELLE LOOKED AT THE
invitation to Holly's birthday party in disbelief. A smiling picture of Holly and Fred stared back at her. She was certain Derek had to know Holly had invited her to his house for a party. Certain he'd know how difficult it would be for her to attend. But knowing Holly, she'd probably bounced up and down until he'd agreed, and Derek wouldn't have wanted to disappoint his daughter. The grown-ups would have toâwellâgrow up in order to make Holly happy on her twelfth birthday.
The invitation had a phone number and an e-mail for RSVPs. Gabrielle chose the easy way, shooting off an e-mail letting them know she'd be there.
One week later, she drove her freshly painted convertible back to Stewart. She pulled around behind Derek's place and parked, then made her way out back where music floated in the hot summer air.
Since this wasn't Holly's main home, Gabrielle didn't expect to find a large amount of people and she was right. Holly was hanging out with a group of girls, while a handful of adults mingled in the yard. She saw Hank and Thomas standing together, and to her surprise, Holly's mother and a nice-looking man whom Gabrielle assumed was her husband sat at the old picnic table. Gabrielle had assumed Derek's ex wouldn't be here. She was wrong. Obviously.
Her discomfort level increased, but she pushed herself forward. For Holly's sake.
Something cold nudged her leg and Gabrielle glanced down to see Fred, wearing a party hat, pressing his nose into her calf.
“Hey, old man. You really are a sport, aren't you?” she asked him, bending down to scratch beneath his ears.
“Gabrielle!” Holly shouted her name and came running toward her, a happy bundle of energy.
Gabrielle rose to greet her. “Hey there! Happy birthday.” She held out the gift that she'd spent a long time choosing. “I hope you like it.”
“I'll love it.” She accepted the gift and placed it beside the others on a table beside her. “I'm just glad you're here. Once you said you'd come to my party, I knew you weren't holding the fact that my dad's such a dork against me.”
Gabrielle chuckled.
“Who are you calling a dork, dork?” Derek strode over, looking handsome as ever. He was tanned and relaxed and the light green of his T-shirt brought out the hue in his eyes. She'd missed him like crazy and her heart pounded hard in her chest.
“Holly!” Marlene called. “I need to talk to you.”
The young girl glanced at her mother and stepfather. “Coming!” She turned back to Gabrielle. “I'll be back in a second,” she said, then ran to the picnic table, leaving Derek and Gabrielle alone.
She drew a deep breath and met Derek's gaze. “Hi,” Gabrielle said to him.
“Hi, yourself.” His gaze traveled over her, head to toe. “You're looking good,” he murmured, nodding in appreciation.
She glanced down at the strappy dress she'd never admit she'd bought just for seeing him today and smiled. “Thank you.”
“It was nice of you to come for Holly. I know she was worried you'd change your mind.”