LOW: A Rockstar Romance (52 page)

He looked so upset I was instantly on the defensive. "I only missed 'Cocky'! I was there for everything else. And I didn't want to hear it, honestly. I've heard it a million times. It's only on the radio every three minutes or so."

"No." He stood up and strode to his closet, lifting one of his battered old practice acoustic up to his chest. "Fucking listen to it. Right now."

The gentle strum was nothing like the bass intro. It was light, almost plaintive. He ducked his head over the guitar, hugging it to his body as he plucked the strings and every sound it made was sorrow. I was crying even harder now, the melody so familiar, yet so strange. Then he opened his mouth and looked at me and sang.

"You got it right… babe.

We spent the night… babe

And I'm just a Lil Bit cocky, yes, it's true."

I winced. And his lips curled into a private smile before he moved on to the part I had never heard.

"Now we're young and so in love,

Body fits mine like a glove

And I never should have let you go.

I'm so sorry, I was wrong,

And I've loved you all along.

Now I'm trying to let you know …

He held the note, clear and perfect over the ringing strings …

"You got it right… babe

You're always right, babe

I'm more than a Lil Bit sorry, yes, it's true.

I never thought… babe

We could have fought… babe

I want my Lil Bit back inside my arms.

You should know… babe

I'll never go… babe

You're the only one I want, yes, it's true …"

A high, piercing note… His voice caught dangerously and he averted his eyes. Tears were flowing fast and freely down my cheeks …

"Can we go right back in time?

Can we turn right on a dime?

I promise I will always be true.

Can you listen to my song?

Tryin' to tell you I was wrong.

And I'm telling you that I love you.

I felt hollowed out. The place where my anger had resided was just an empty space now. A vacuum waiting to be filled. And in it rushed the love that had been waiting this whole wasted time.

"Jaxson."

"Yeah, Lily." His voice broke slightly and I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed.

"I didn't know."

"Now you do."

I looked down at my hands. "Dad and Annie get married tomorrow."

He nodded. "I'm well aware."

"But …" I had no idea how he'd react, if I asked. I had hurt him so badly, again and again and again, did I really deserve another chance? "We still have tonight."

It was like watching a dead man return to life. Inch by inch, his spine straightened. The color returned to his cheeks and that devilish gleam to his eyes. I bit my lip when I saw his cocky grin spread across his face. "Yeah… we have tonight."

"So?" I spread my hands, arching my back slightly. His eyes went to my breasts and then back up to my face.

"So what, Lily?"

"Aren't you going to come over here?"

"You know what? I don't think I will."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope." He leaned back and brushed his hand up from his groin. I could see his length straining against his jeans already. "You come over here."

"Really?"

"You know you want to, Bit."

I did. "You are the cockiest son of a bitch …"

"That's why you love me," he drawled.

I laughed and slid from the bed. His eyes followed my every move as I slunk along the floor, rising up to my knees between his legs. He hissed as I pressed my hands to his thighs. "That's not why." I licked my lips, wetting them, readying them.

"Why?" He genuinely wanted to know.

"Well …" I slid my hand up, cupping his groin. "There's this …"

His eyes darkened. "Show me how much you love that."

A small whimper escaped my lips as I unzipped his jeans tooth by tooth. He leaned back, watching me, occasionally brushing my hair behind my ear so that he could more clearly see my face as I freed his cock from his boxers.

As the silken head brushed past my lips, we both groaned together. I always figured that he had the power and I had none. But in that moment, I knew I had as much power over him as I was brave enough to take.

And suddenly I wanted everything he had. I inhaled sharply, taking in as much as I could. The taste of him …the smell of him …. It wasn't the whiskey that was getting me drunk.

"Lily… fuck…" He looked down at me and the way his lips parted in wonder sent me into a frenzy. I was determined to take all of him, every precious inch.

With a guttural moan, he fisted my hair into a knot and yanked my head backwards. "Slow down, greedy girl. We have all night."

He pulled me up to him and folded me into his arms, cradling me just like a child. I rested my head on his shoulder, breathless.

"I need to feel your skin, babe. Get these clothes off."

I jumped up to obey him. Jax leaned back on his elbows, his long form draped across the bed, and the wickedest smile in the world on his face. "That's it. Fuck, look in the mirror. Do you even see yourself?"

"I see."

"Good. I want you to watch yourself while you cum. Now get over here and sit on my face."

I had to whisper because I didn't trust my voice. "Okay."

I must have swung my leg too slowly for his liking, because the second I was straddling his chest, he sank his fingers into the flesh of my ass and pulled me to him. I gasped as his tongue parted my folds and a bomb went off inside of me. Jax growled his approval as I collapsed forward, sinking my fingers into his blue hair, guiding him to right there… there… there…

"Do you see?" he rumbled against me, and I knew what he wanted. Feeling the flush spread across my chest and slither down my spine, I turned my head and watched. Watched myself react to him. As the slow heat began to catch fire, I fought the urge to close my eyes. This was the last night we had together, and I didn't want to miss a fucking moment.

The desperate heat clawed up my thighs and suddenly I was screaming his name. Jax clapped his hand over my mouth even as he was still working me over. I tried to squirm away, to close my thighs, but he only grabbed me tighter. "No," he grunted, as savage as an animal.

My sharp cries became weak and languid. My mind melted into delirium until I was nothing more than a puddle in his hands. Jax emerged, grinning wetly up and me. "Sweetest pussy in the whole damn world."

"Gross, Jax."

"Hardly." He licked his lips. "Think I'll just stay here all night."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Are you saying it would be a bad way to go?"

I slipped my hand down to close around his cock. "No, I'm saying I'm not done."

His mischievous grin slipped away and his eyes darkened. "There's my girl."

The desire in his eyes brought me out of my haze. I instantly wanted more. He slid underneath me and caught me up from behind. I heard the jingling of his belt buckle and my pussy clenched in response. "Watch," he ordered, turning us so that we both faced the mirror.

I watched.

I watched as he pressed my legs open.

I watched as he slung his arm around my chest.

I watched as his face contorted and I watched us both gasp as he slid inside of me.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Jax

I wanted her to take everything. Everything I had was hers. It always had been. It always would be.

I leaned back, positioning her so that she rode me as I lay flat on my back. "Take it," I told her. "Everything. Just take it."

If anyone walked past the door right now, we would be caught for sure. Lily's moans, the slap of her skin as she bounced on my cock, was a dead giveaway.

But I didn't give a fuck about being caught. Let them come. Let them see me like this, with Lily wildly riding me, her head thrown back in ecstasy. This time when the scandal broke—when I gave my statement to the press—I would say what I should have said all along. That Liliana Nesbit belonged to me.

No.

Fuck that.

I belonged to her.

Her back was to me but I could see everything—everything—in the mirror, and it was a wonder I didn't lose it over how fucking beautiful it was. Her rolling hips moved in a sinuous ripple as she rode me, her hair a silken ribbon raining down her back. Her eyes were slitted and a rosy flush spread over her breasts. I ached to squeeze them, pinch them between my thumb and forefinger to make her gasp, mark her pinkened skin as mine, but I was frozen in pleasure. If I moved at all, I was afraid I'd shatter the moment.

Lily's breath came faster. She leaned forward, bracing her hands on my thighs, and groaned. I watched in the mirror as her little fingers sought between her legs and began to rub herself in time with my thrusts.

"Fucking hell, baby," I whispered. It was too fucking beautiful for me to take. "That's right. You get yourself there. I'm waiting right there for you, we're going together."

"So close," she gasped, and then her eyes flew wide open and I felt her tense around me, pulling me deeper inside of her than I ever knew possible. I pumped myself faster and faster and was rewarded with her low scream, her whole body shaking above me. I flew up, grasping her around the waist and pinning her close as the white-hot pleasure burst open inside of me. Her name was the only thing on my lips as I came.

Blindly, I grasped for her face and was shocked when my fingers came away wet.

I opened my eyes and spied her red eyes in the mirror. "Baby, what? What is it?"

She seemed to realize she was crying all of a sudden, because she shook her head and hid her face in her hands. I was still inside of her, but I leaned back, determined to give her as much time as she needed.

Finally she wiped her eyes. "Jaxson …" she started to say. Then she faded out. "Dammit."

I wished like hell I knew what she wanted to say instead. I had a feeling the same three words were hanging on the tip of my tongue too. I bit them back. "Hey, now," I whispered, running my hand up her arm. "That was good. We are good."

"Yeah?" She didn't sound good. She sounded fucking miserable, to tell the truth.

I kissed her shoulder, desperate to know what she needed but too afraid it wasn't me. "Yeah," I said. There was so much more I could have said, but that was all I could manage.

She slid from on top of me, a bit unsteadily I noted with no small pride. But the flash of ego fell away almost instantly when I looked her full in the face. She lifted her chin and some of that fire came back into her eyes. "It's going to be good?" she asked me.

I only vaguely understood what she was asking, so I answered the question in my own brain. I pulled her close. "It's going to be fucking perfect."

She sighed heavily. "I don't want to walk out of this room. We only just got started again, and when I walk out that door, it's the end."

I brushed her hair back and kissed her forehead, then pulled her down into the bed with me. "So stay," I told her, pulling up the covers.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Liliana

I stayed.

It was the first time we had ever slept in a bed together. The intimacy of his body slung along mine took my breath away. He held me so tightly that I struggled to find my breath and not panic. His skin burned along mine, every place where we touched a bright flame of desire. I could feel his heart beating against my back, slow and steady and so real that I suddenly couldn't take it any more. It was too much.

Something had changed inside of me. I lost whatever hope I had that this could just melt away into meaninglessness. I thought I could get him out of my system, but I couldn't get enough of him. Already I wanted to move closer, press my body to his and feel his hands mark my skin with their heat.

I finally realized that leaving him was going to fucking hurt.

So I stayed awake as long as I could to prolong the moment. And when we woke up together, there we no words for what had passed between us last night. There were only desperate kisses, one more and then one more again, before I finally succumbed to the inevitable and set foot outside of his door.

I pulled myself together as best I could with a splash of cold water to my face and the hottest shower I could stand. As I soaped my skin that still smelled like him, I saw the little bruises and marks on my skin that he had left on me.

I wanted to head immediately to a tattoo parlor and etch them into my body forever.

Instead, I dressed for my father's wedding in the dress Jax had chosen for me.

Then I squared my shoulders and headed downstairs.

My dad was standing in the kitchen with the rest of the road crew, looking so awkward and nervous in their tuxes that I had to laugh when I spotted them. "You guys look like a nature documentary about penguins," I giggled. "All huddled in a group like that."

"We're keeping our egg warm," Greg Fingers joked, patting my Dad's prodigious belly.

"Hey, who are you calling an egg?"

"You poached my line."

"Let's keep on the sunny-side here, guys …"

I buried my head in my hands and groaned out loud as the avalanche of puns turned into a round of back-slapping. "Your last day of freedom, Nails," Bash declared.

"You kiddin'? I wasn't ever free. Moment I saw that lady, my heart wasn't mine no more."

I had to look away quickly. Jax had said something so similar last night.

When I looked back again, my dad had extricated himself from another round of good natured punching and come over to me. "Hey, there she is," my Dad said with a twinkle in his eye. "My best woman." He kissed my cheek, then look me straight in the eye. "We missed you at the party last night."

I willed the blush to stay down. "I was there, Dad."

"Not for very long."

I wracked my brain for an excuse. "I thought it would be more fun for you if you didn't have to watch your language," I said breezily, patting his arm for good measure.

He nodded, and for a moment, I thought I might be in the clear. "Did you and Jax have fun together, though?"

"Me and… Jax?" I squeaked. I was sure that guilt was written on every inch of my face.

"Saw you take the bottle upstairs. Hope you didn't finish that all by yourself. Though if you did and you're still standing here, then I guess your old man had a good influence on you, after all."

I pressed my lips together and gave what I thought was a light-hearted grin. "You're an excellent influence, Daddy," I lied prettily, kissing his bearded cheek. Guilt and sorrow vied for control of my emotions, but in the end I forced myself to be happy for my dad on his big day. "Now, come on. Let's go get you married off."