Loving Sarah (41 page)

“Sort quickly because he does not have long.”

He lifted her from him, and she took his seat on the fallen tree and watched as he paced a path before her.

“Why did you really leave London? What was it you were upset about? Was it because of the memories?” He didn’t sound accusatory, but like a desperate man in need of answers.

“After you left for Aberdeen, I remembered the night in my room in Liverpool. You said you didn’t want children. And here we now had a daughter, which you seemed to love, and I didn’t understand. We made love several times before you left, knowing full well it might lead to another child.” She gave him a satisfied smile. “And it did.”

He started to speak, but Sarah stopped his interruption with a barely perceptible lift of her hand. Despite his look of stunned happiness, she wanted to finish while she had the answer formed in her mind.

“Neither of us knows if I will carry the full nine months, nor even if, at the end of that term, I can give birth to a healthy child. But I know one thing, Ian. I love you. I lusted for you during the race to New York, and fell in love with you somewhere along the return voyage. Then to have you tell me that you didn’t care for children as I was in the throes of morning sickness felt like a slap in my face.”

“Can you ever forgive me? It was thoughtless of me,” Ian said.

“I will forgive you because you are my husband, I love you, and we are a family. I also truly believe you are a better man now than you were then.”

He stared at her for a moment until he realized what she’d said. She loved him. She could see realization dawning in his hazel eyes. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, the stress of years of fighting something invisible flowing out of him.

“I have loved you for a while now.” His hand reached into his pocket. “I just did not know how to say it.” He took his hand from the pocket and held it out to her and opened it. Her breath froze in her chest as she looked down at the ring she had tried on that first day in his cabin.

The oval ruby solitaire was set in a white gold band with four prongs holding it in place. She held out her hand, knowing he’d never be able to get the ring on but unwilling to tell him how she knew this.

“It was my mothers, and it appears we shall have to have the band stretched,” he said.

“It’s beautiful, Ian,” her voice cracked, disappointed that she was unable to get it over her knuckle.

“Both times I was away from you,” he began, “I missed you terribly. I missed your ready smile, your infectious laughter, and your giving spirit. I missed being with you, the way you smelled, the way you tasted. I missed talking with you, walking on deck with you” —he reached out and lifted a lock of her hair— “and watching you use a pitcher of water to wash all that glorious hair. I missed your presence in my bed and at the table in the evening.” He tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. “I knew I loved you, Sarah, before I even knew you carried my sons.”

Her breath caught. Then she gave a shaky sigh as she fought tears.

“I want you, Sarah,” he said, his voice as filled with emotion as she was. “I want you as my wife, and Maura as our daughter. And I want as many children you want, but if the physician says you should not, then I will not surrender you for the sake of a child. Because, in the end, I love you and cannot live without you in my life.”

The sun was moving lower in the sky, and Sarah shivered, having forgotten her pelisse on the dash out the door to follow him. Ian removed his coat and placed it over her shoulders. She was surrounded by his scent—a combination of him and faint traces of the soap he’d used. It was what home smelled like to her. Home was where ever this man was, whether it was a cabin aboard a ship or home in London, Surrey, or Scotland.

She nodded and he extended his hand. She placed her trembling one in his, and he helped her to stand, then wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

There was no better feeling in the world for her than being in Ian’s arms, and second was being wrapped in his warm coat. She savored his masculinity and needed his strength.

“We should be going back,” she said. “Dinner will be in a few hours.”

Later that night, his fingers stroked her cheek and she stared into the green-brown depths of his soul and knew he spoke the truth. He loved her. Desire sparked between them, and he fanned the ember when he brought his lips down to hers in a single, searing kiss. She opened for him, and his tongue swept across the ridges of her teeth, then mated with hers. She grabbed onto him as though a woman drowning, and he her only lifeline.

She met his passion with equal enthusiasm, telling him with her body that she’d wanted him as much as he wanted her, and missed him just as much as he had missed her. When he broke the kiss, she pressed her face into his chest and groaned as she struggled to catch her breath.

His amorous intent was obvious, but she had to stop him—hopefully only for now. “Ian, I’m not sure I can just yet. I sent a note asking, and I’m still waiting to hear if it’s safe.”

He backed away and held her gaze, a tender smile on his face. “I apologize. You must think me a lecherous sort.” He sat up. “If Prescott says you shouldn’t, then we won’t.”

She didn’t think it important to tell him that it wasn’t Prescott she’d asked, but her sister-in-law. The doctor would likely say she shouldn’t, where Lia was a woman and a mother three times over. She was also incredibly knowledgeable in areas such as this.

Ian rose from the bed and pulled on his banyan, tying it loosely around his hips.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought to sleep in my bed so as not to disturb you.”

“I want you with me,” she whispered. “Please?”

He slipped off the banyan again, then slid between the sheets until he was behind her holding her against him again, cradling her in his arms. Sarah took his hand and placed it over her softly rounded belly, and he nuzzled the back of her neck, sending warm shivers throughout her body.

“Stop wiggling your bottom against me,” he whispered. “It’s unfair.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to again.” She shifted again, trying to get comfortable in his arms.

“This is why I should sleep in my own bed,” he grumbled into the dark.

S
hortly before sunrise, Sarah stirred when she heard Trudy place a salver atop her nightstand. One eye crept open, then she slid from the cocoon of Ian’s embrace, hoping she did not rouse him. Throwing her wrap over her arm, she took the note and went into the connecting sitting room.

Bringing the note over to the chair next to the hearth, she took a tinder and lit the pair of candles on the end table. She eagerly broke the seal and began to read, her sister-in-law’s words bringing first a frown, then a smile to her lips.

Dearest,

You are completely forgiven for rousing me from my husband’s bed. I cannot tell you what a fright I had when my maid brought me your note. Thankfully, I had the forethought to open and read your missive before sending Ghita to call for the coach and pack my trunk.

In response to your question, I have one of my own. How do you feel? In my opinion, if you are feeling well, then, by all means, proceed.

L.

Sarah smiled in the dim light of the sitting room. Glancing back at the open doorway to her chamber, she rose and blew out the candles before re-joining her husband.

Even though there was a late summer chill in the room, she slid the wrap from her shoulders and dropped it as she walked, then lifted the hem of her night dress and pulled it over her head. At the edge of the bed, she parted the curtain and folded back the covers before climbing upon the thick down mattress. She dropped her slippers then slid in next to Ian’s naked warmth.

It took a fraction of a moment for him to realize what she was about as she ever so slowly traced a finger down his bare chest. Just when she was about to reach his shaft, he placed a hand over hers. “Stop now,” he said, “or I’ll not be able to.”

“I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” she replied as she nuzzled and lightly kissed her way over the strong curve of his jaw and wrapped her fingers around his rising erection.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.”

“The babe…?”

“Will be fine.”

Her words were all the assurance he needed as he moved over her, holding his weight from her so as not to harm their child. He caressed the curve of her breasts with his lips, marveling at their fullness before leaning forward to worship them thoroughly with his mouth. And only when she lay beneath him, quivering with a need as deep and sure as his own, did he gently come to her, filling her completely, giving her everything he was, everything he would ever be. He gave not only his heart, but his very soul, into her safe keeping, to nurture as she did their unborn child. And only after she’d reached her climax did he take his own release.

F
or the next two weeks, while Ian was in Surrey, he spent time with the old earl, getting to know him as a man, and not his former guardian. One afternoon, Sarah and Ian sat with him in his rooms as he was describing the Siege at Charleston for Ian.

“I remember nothing after that until I awoke on the
Jersey
. It was after I returned from that last battle, missing my leg, but with most of my crew alive, that North petitioned the king to elevate me from a mere Baron to the Earl Mackeever. You will be the second Earl Mackeever. There is no entail, no wealth, just a title awarded for…bravery.”

Sarah placed a hand on Ian’s arm to get his attention. “Perhaps we should let him rest.”

“I’ll have eternity to rest,” the old man said. “I have one more request before I go though.”

Ian nodded, and the earl closed his eyes and smiled. “See to it that Seamus Black is cared for. He has been where I wanted to be these past four years, sailing by your side. He says you’ve a fine hand on the wheel, and that I should be proud.” The earl coughed a bit and struggled with his breathing. Once it settled, he added, “I just wanted you to know that I am.”

Two days later, Ian and Sarah, along with his aunts, buried the first Earl Mackeever in the parish cemetery on Greenwood.

E
PILOGUE

I
an dumped the contents of the drawer onto the bed. The books he had kept from his days at university, and the few he’d bought or had been given since fell onto the woolen blanket. He lifted first one, then another, and another, scanning the titles, wondering which one was of interest to Sarah. No, he thought, she kept the one that interested her.

So which title in his paltry collection did she take? It was difficult to tell. It had been so long since he’d taken a book out to read. He looked over all of the volumes spread out on the bed and concluded he’d never figure it out. The one book on poetry he had was still here, and it was the only book he remembered her reading while she was aboard.

Heavy-booted footfalls in the narrow gangway alerted him to Lucky’s arrival. Since Ian had arrived after dark, he’d spent the previous night at the house in Mayfair and notified Lucky of his arrival in the morning, asking Lucky to meet him aboard the boat. Lucky entered the cabin looking as though he hadn’t slept, and Ian wondered which of his friend’s vices he’d been up to the night before.

“Was it a woman or a good game?”

“Baccarat at Vinton’s,” his friend replied, walking over to gaze at the disheveled heap of books on the mattress, “and I just barely came out ahead.”

He pushed a few books aside, gazing at the titles. “I need to find a bed, and as this one is piled high with the contents of your entire library, you’d best hurry before I fall over where I stand. What did you call me here for?”

“I’ve decided not to go to China.”

“Good call, my lord,” his friend said, as he thumbed through a book on maritime law. “I hated this class,” he said, tossing the heavy volume aside and lifting another before sitting on the edge of the mattress. “I’m assuming you’ve already sent word to Nigel.”

Ian nodded.

“He’s fully qualified to take the helm y’know. And I’ll bet he’s ready for it.” Lucky leaned against the table and continued flipping pages.

Ian agreed, then added, “But that’s not the only reason I asked you here. I need to know what subjects interest Sarah. I want to surprise her with a gift for her birthday. After much thought, I remembered that a while back she left me this cryptic note saying she was ‘borrowing’ one of my books but didn’t say which title she took. I thought that if I could figure out what it was that interested her, then I’d get her another book or two of the same subject.”

Lucky looked at the collection on the bed and shook his head. “I know she reads a lot of those romantic novels. She likes poetry, history, and mythology. I’m not sure what else.” He flipped over a book, read the title, then did the same with another leather-bound tome. “Did you keep that book I gave you for your birthday back when we were in school?”