Loving Laura (The Cantrelle Family Trilogy) (9 page)

“That sexy little voice must be a real turn-on,” he would say, laughing when Jimmy would blush.

His heart turned over as they entered the warm kitchen and he saw Jimmy, Jr., a good-looking ten-year-old with carroty hair who had his father’s coloring and his mother’s features; and Lisa, a smaller version of her mother, whose five-year-old eyes showed no recognition of him.

“Hey, Jimmy, how’s it going?” Neil ruffled the boy’s hair, and Jimmy smiled happily. Neil’s heart warmed. The kid remembered him and seemed happy to see him.

“How about some coffee? Do you want some soup?” Alice said.

Neil glanced at the kids’ bowls. Vegetable soup. “Is it homemade?” He remembered her homemade soups and how good they always were.

Alice nodded.

“I shouldn’t. I ate a big plate of lasagna not three hours ago.” He grinned. “But I will anyway.”

While she dished up his soup, he glanced around. He’d always loved this homey kitchen. It was so unlike the sterile whiteness of the one in his and Erica’s apartment. Of course, Erica never cooked, and the kitchen was too small to hold a table, so he told himself it didn’t matter.

Instead, he spent as much time as he could in Jimmy’s kitchen, surrounded by Jimmy’s wife and kids. With or without Erica. He touched the table, smiling at the grooves in the soft wood—grooves made by kids’ spoons and kids’ pencils. Grooves made with love.

As Alice seated herself opposite him, her quiet gray eyes met his, and she smiled.

There had been a thick knot inside him ever since he’d said goodbye to Jimmy that sweltering August day when they’d lowered the bronze coffin into the ground. The first part of the knot unraveled today when he knelt over Jimmy’s grave. Now the last part came undone at the sight of Alice’s loving smile and the lack of blame he saw in her eyes. Warmth and something that almost resembled happiness crept through him.

“I’ve missed you,” Alice said.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

“I’ve thought about you a lot.”

“Me, too.” He tasted the soup. Wonderful. Just like he remembered it. “Good soup,” he said, trying to dispel the heavy atmosphere. He could only handle so much drama right now. “You always were a good cook.”

“I try.”

“Mommy, can I have some ice cream?” piped Lisa.

“Me, too,” added Jimmy, Jr. with a shy smile in Neil’s direction.

Alice rose to get the ice cream out of the freezer. “You’re looking good, Neil,” she said as she brought the filled bowls to the kids.

He shrugged.

“’Course, you always did,” she added with a teasing grin. “I remember how jealous of you Jimmy always was.”

“Jimmy! He was never jealous of me.”
It was always the other way around.

“Yes, he was. He told me once that women looked at you in a different way than they looked at him.” Then she chuckled. “Of course, I was delighted they
weren’t
looking at him, and I said so!”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Neil said softly. “He never had eyes for anyone but you.”

“I know.” Once more tears misted her eyes. “I miss him,” she whispered.

“I know you do. I do, too.” Neil thought how proud Jimmy would be if he could see how well she and the kids looked. “Has it been rough?”

Now it was her turn to shrug. “Not as rough as it could have been. People have been so kind.”

“Good.”

“I’ve never had a chance to thank you for the money.”

“I don’t want thanks.”

“I know you can’t have that much yourself, and sending me a check every month... well...”

“I have plenty.” He really
didn’t
want her thanks. He shifted uncomfortably, wishing she’d drop the subject. “I don’t need much.”

“Still...one or the other would have been more than enough. I mean, after you sent the ten thousand dollars, I never expected to get the checks each month....”

Neil frowned. “Ten thousand dollars? What are you talking about?”

Now Alice frowned, too. “You know. The check you left for me the night you left town. I—”

“I never left you a check.” He put his soup spoon down, and gave her a quizzical look.

“You didn’t?”

He shook his head. “No. It wasn’t until I got to Florida that I realized I’d meant to ask you about money. That was when I got the idea that I’d just send you some each month.” So who had given her a check for ten thousand? “Wasn’t the check signed?”

“Well, yes, but it was a cashier’s check, drawn on the First National Bank.”

Neil nodded. First National had been his bank. But that wasn’t unusual. There were only two banks in Patinville, and the other one, the Patinville Savings and Loan, didn’t have checking account facilities, so almost everyone, even if they saved money or borrowed money through the savings and loan, still carried an account with First National. “Did you ask the bank who had sent the check?”

“No. I never thought to. I just assumed it was you.” Neil could see how she would think he’d sent the money. She’d probably thought it was guilt money. A stillness settled over him at the thought. No, that was ridiculous. Why would anyone feel guilty about that night? No one else was involved except Abruzzi and Neil. And Erica, he thought. Still... the anonymity of the check bothered him.

“Alice,” he said slowly, “didn’t the Department have some sort of collection for you?”

She nodded.

“Who handled that?”

“Uh, they did it through the Survivor’s Club.”

“That’s what I thought. Did you by any chance keep the stub from the ten thousand dollar check?”

Her eyes reminded him of shiny pewter as she stared at him, wide-eyed. “I don’t remember,” she said slowly.

“If you had kept it, where would it be?”

“Buried somewhere in Jimmy’s desk, I guess.” Her voice trailed off, and she bit her bottom lip. Neil could see her thinking hard. “Do you think it’s important for us to find out who sent me that money?”

“I don’t know,” Neil said honestly. It might have been sent by a good Samaritan who didn’t want to be thanked and had a perfectly good reason for not just donating the money to the Survivor’s Club. On the other hand, it might have some other, darker, connotation. All Neil knew for sure was that he was mighty curious. He smiled at Alice. “But I’d sure like to know. Wouldn’t you?”

She nodded, then stood up. “I’ll look for the stub. But right now if I don’t get hopping, Jimmy will be late to his Boy Scout meeting.” She turned to the boy. “You’d better hurry, honey. Go get your uniform on.”

After Jimmy left the room, Neil said, “I’m going to the hospital. Do you want me to drop him somewhere on my way?”

“Oh, Neil! I completely forgot to ask about Norman. I heard about the accident.” She hit her forehead. “God! What’s wrong with me?”

It didn’t surprise him that she’d heard. News traveled fast in Patinville.

“How is he?” she asked, concern etched into her face.

“Holding his own as of this morning.” He quickly told her about the loss of Norman’s leg and brought her up to date on his prognosis.

“Oh, Neil. Your poor parents. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Neil put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her close for a minute. “No. But thanks for offering.”

“Is he allowed to have visitors?”

“Only family right now.”

“Well, I’ll keep checking on him, and when he’s up to it, I’ll go see him.” She smiled sadly. “I’ve always liked Norman.”

He dropped a kiss on her cheek. “You’re a pretty special lady, you know that? I was afraid you wouldn’t even let me in the door today.”

“I’ve never blamed you, Neil.”

“You had every right to.”

“That’s crazy, and you know it. What happened to Jimmy was his own fault.”

“I wish I knew what made Jimmy leave the apartment that night. I’ll never understand it.”

“Well, Jimmy was impulsive. You know that.”

“I know, but he was also a good cop. He knew better.” Neil sighed wearily. “No, I should never have left the stakeout.”

“Neil,” she said, exasperation now evident in her voice, “What choice did you have? When Erica showed up, you had to get her out of there. And you
told
Jimmy to call for backup.”

“Yes, but I should have had some control over my personal life,” Neil said stubbornly. He’d been over this so many times.

“The Department knew you were having some serious problems with Erica. According to the testimony, even Lt. Richardson knew Erica had called several times with emergencies that turned out to be false alarms. They should have pulled you off that stakeout, made sure you got your home life straightened out. They
knew
she was unstable where you were concerned. If I blame anyone, I blame them.”

God knows that’s what he wanted to think. Thinking like that would go a long way toward making him feel better, but was it realistic? The fact remained that he
had
left the stakeout when he wasn’t supposed to. That Jimmy had urged him to go, said he’d call for backup, didn’t lessen the guilt he would always have to shoulder.

“Come on,” Alice said softly. “Let’s not talk about this anymore tonight. Here’s Jimmy, ready to go. And if you were serious, I’d love for you to drop him off at the Scout Hut.”

So twenty minutes later Neil was pulling up in front of the small frame building that housed Patinville’s Boy Scout troops.

“ ’Bye, Neil,” Jimmy said as he scrambled from the car.

“ ’Bye, sport.”

“Will you be back to see us?”

The boy’s eager face smote Neil. “You can count on it,” he promised.

Laura stared at the closed door to Norman’s room, heart pounding and mouth dry. For the past four days, ever since she’d told Neil she intended to marry Norman, she’d worried that she wouldn’t be able to put on a convincing performance when she told him. Would he see through her?

In just a few minutes, she’d find out.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and, clutching her purse tightly under her left arm, walked slowly toward the bed. The room looked cheerful and bright, but smelled like all hospital rooms—of antiseptic, medicine, and sickness. But at least Norman was no longer in intensive care. Yesterday he’d been taken off the critical list and moved to this private room.

The doctor told the family the worst was over, even though Norman still had a long road ahead of him. And— Laura sent a grateful prayer heavenward—there was no longer any threat to his other leg. Dr. Dunado also emphasized that Norman’s emotional well-being was the most important factor in his recovery.

“Don’t say or do anything to upset him,” he warned, and Neil had given Laura a meaningful look. “We must all try to keep him happy and optimistic about his future.” Well, here goes, Laura thought. She touched Norman’s shoulder softly. “Hi, Norman.”

“Laura?” He turned toward her.

His voice still sounded weak to her. “How are you feeling today?” she said, determinedly cheerful.

“Better,” he murmured, “now that you’re here.” His eyes, dark like all the Cantrelles’, raked her face.

Laura’s stomach muscles were jumping from nerves. She hoped it didn’t show. She studiously avoided looking at the flat space on the bed where his leg should have been. She hadn’t looked the other times she’d seen him, either. She wasn’t sure if she could handle looking, and even without the doctor’s admonition, Laura wouldn’t have wanted to go to pieces on Norman.

“It sure is good to see you,” he said. “The other night when you were here, I was out of it.”

“I know. But I understood.”

He reached for her hand, clutching it tightly. His hand felt clammy and cool but surprisingly strong. She smiled, striving to make the smile bright and happy, but she knew her effort fell short.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. “Your face still looks black and blue.”

“You should talk. Yours looks terrible,” she teased.

He grimaced. “I know.” He touched his left cheek, which was horribly bruised and swollen. “You never answered my question.”

“Oh, I’m fine. Most of the soreness is gone. I even managed to work all day yesterday.”

“Yeah, Neil was here a little while ago, and he told me.”

She nodded. “I know. We rode over here together.”

Norman tried to smile, but obviously his face still hurt, for he winced. “What do you think of my brother? Are you in love with him yet?”

Laura’s heart skittered, and even though she knew Norman was teasing her, she flinched.

“I was only kidding,” he said.

“Oh, I know that.” She struggled to compose her face into nonchalant lines. “I like your brother a lot. He’s been very thoughtful. He’s not you, of course, but he’s nice.”

Her answer must have pleased him, because his eyes glowed warmly. Then they clouded up.

Laura’s insides felt as if someone were using a hand mixer on them. She knew without being told that Norman was thinking about the loss of his leg, comparing himself to Neil.
Tell him. Tell him now. Get it over with.
“Norman.. .”

“What?” The dark eyes were full of pain.

“Norman, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking this past week.”

“Yeah, me, too.” He looked away from her.

Her heart twisted inside her. Before he could say anything else, she rushed on. “I’ve been so scared that you wouldn’t make it, and I’ve come to realize just how that would make me feel.”

Now she had his attention. His dark eyes gleamed as they fastened on her face.

She hesitated.
Say it!
“Nearly losing you really opened my eyes to what matters in life. Norman, as soon as you’re well, I want us to get married.” There. That hadn’t been so bad.

For a minute his eyes shone with happiness, but then the happiness slowly faded. “No.”

“No? Well, that’s a funny thing to say.” Even to her own ears, her voice sounded brittle, the words false. “I thought you’d be happy! Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind about me.” She laughed, and the laugh sounded hollow. Oh, she was making a mess of this.

“Laura—”

“I hope you don’t mind if we have a big wedding. I’ve always dreamed of a big wedding. I was thinking I could ask both Denise and Nicole to be my bridesmaids, and Jeannine and Justin could be the flower girl and ring bearer.” She was babbling; she sounded stupid. But the look in his eyes told her he didn’t believe her. “Maybe—” She faltered, doubt assailing her. But she pushed it aside and plunged on. “Maybe Celeste could even come for the wedding.”