Authors: Renae Kaye
I shrugged. “I had to tell him I wanted time off for my boyfriend’s grandmother’s funeral. The guy nearly swallowed his tongue, and has given me a wide berth ever since, but he knows.”
John clapped me on the shoulder. “Shit, man. Sorry it has to be like that. It must suck.”
The man was my younger brother, so teasing came naturally to me. Plus, I also owed him for not telling me he was coming this morning. “Can I give you a word of advice, mate? Now that I am gay and all?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t talk to gay men about things that suck, or they may think it is an invitation.”
The shade of purple John turned was very satisfying, although not exactly a good look on him. I laughed and tried to stifle my amusement, since I was technically still at a funeral. I reined in my mirth as Jay’s Uncle Tony separated from the crowd and made his way to the corner where John and I were hiding.
Uncle Tony was pretty typical for his age—graying slowly and losing his hair on top. His beer gut was pushing a bit on the shirt of his best funeral clothes—a bit too many burgers behind it to be hidden successfully. Everything about him screamed white-collar worker nearing retirement age. His hands were too smooth for a blue-collar worker, his skin unblemished by the sun, and kind of pasty. He wore an ornate signet ring on one hand, and had a habit of twisting it around, which I had seen last Sunday.
He held his hand out and I shook it tentatively. “Liam, isn’t it?” he asked, squeezing sharply. God, I hated men who felt the need to do that.
“Yes, sir. My condolences, sir.”
Uncle Tony nodded once and eyeballed John up and down. I realized that maybe Uncle Tony didn’t recognize him from the other day, even if they had been introduced. “Umm… this is my younger brother, John. He came to support Jackie today. John, this is… umm…. Sorry, I only know you as Uncle Tony.”
The man stuck his hand out to John. “Tony Berris, Carol’s brother.” They shook, and then the three of us stood there, unsure what to say next. Uncle Tony obviously wanted to say something, but I didn’t know how to get the conversation ball rolling. I cleared my throat and tapped my foot a couple of times.
“So….” Finally Uncle Tony spoke. “… I guess you are one of Jamie’s lot, are you?”
I cringed and mentally rolled my eyes.
Oh, shit!
This was obviously a well-meaning but bigoted man. I knew that this is what I had to look forward to for the rest of my life, but I wasn’t running and hiding. Maybe I could educate them one by one. “Ahh… no, sir.” He looked surprised and I continued on, gently easing the conversation. “Jay has tried to get me to go to his yoga classes, but you will never find me there, sir. I’m not one of those green-tea-drinking, hippy types.”
John grunted behind me, and shoved a pointed digit into my side. I tried not to jump. I stood steady and looked Uncle Tony in the eye, never ashamed of what I was. Uncle Tony unfortunately didn’t get the gentle message. He rubbed his hands together nervously and glanced around. “No. I mean like Jamie is. You know—a fruitloop.”
I gritted my teeth and smiled, although it just about killed me. “No, sir.” I took a deep breath and tried very hard to keep the polite façade and not swear in the narrow-minded man’s face. “The fruitloop would be John, here. He is the only stupid one in the family who would dare go for a team like Port Adelaide. All the rest of my family goes for a good, old-fashioned Western Australian football team. But John had to be different and pick Port Adelaide.”
“Hey!” John was used to the good-natured ribbing he got from me for his choice of interstate team. “Watch your mouth. I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing that stupid purple color of your team.”
Uncle Tony just shook his head like the two of us were thicker than two planks of wood. “No, boy. I mean are you a homo?”
Bam!
Just like that I reached the end of my tether. How dare he treat a guest at his mother’s funeral like that? And even worse, was he was implying that Jay was an undesirable person just because he was gay? My temper rose and I was about to rip into the guy when John shoved me aside and stepped between the two of us.
“Mr. Berris, I think you will find that you have just greatly insulted my brother, your nephew, and a good 10 percent of the male population, if latest figures are true. The word ‘homo’ is offensive to the extreme and I never wish to hear it again. It is like using the word ‘abo’ or ‘nigger’ to an ethnic person. It is not tolerable. Perhaps you have never been informed of this before, so I will be nice just this once. Do not insult my brother again. He knows Kung Fu. And for your information, yes, my brother Liam is gay. The polite word is ‘gay.’ And yes, he loves your nephew. That is all you need to know. Now I think you should return to your social circle while I calm my brother’s temper so that there is no blood spilled on this nice white carpet.”
Uncle Tony turned bright red as John spoke to him. When John got to the part about my temper the older man flicked a glance at me. I am not sure what he saw there, but the redness rapidly drained from his face leaving him ghost white. He took a couple of steps back and almost flew back to his wife’s side.
John snickered to the side. “Old fart.”
I wanted to laugh too, but instead, a warm rosy glow had descended on me. My little brother had stood up for me and had defended my sexual orientation. It was like… total acceptance. I wished I could hug him, but I knew that any hug I would give him would be followed by a huge thump for making a fool of him in public. I really didn’t feel like getting thumped just then. I settled for a small, “Thanks, mate.”
Jackie chose that moment to sashay her way across the room and speak softly at my brother’s side. “Johnnie, I want to go now. Can you please take me?”
I was gobsmacked. Johnnie? Please? Jackie was being nice? This must be some sort of alternate world I had accidently stepped into. My theory was reinforced when my brother immediately reacted by putting down his drink and taking her arm. “Okay, sugar. No problem. Let’s go.”
I sputtered. “Johnnie? Sugar? Ow!”
Fuck! There was that thump in public I was hoping to avoid. Obviously not an alternate reality as first presumed.
I rubbed my arm as John and Jackie left and Jay approached. I was muttering to myself, “Bloody shithead. Can’t take him anywhere in public. Oh, hi, babe.”
Shit! There was that babe thing again. Stop it unless you want to sound as dorky as “Johnnie” and his “sugar.”
“Did your brother just hit you?”
“Ow! Yes. Luckily, I’m on my best behavior or else you would’ve been treated to the sight of the two youngest Turner boys brawling on the floor at your grandmother’s funeral.”
Jay laughed. “As long as you had your shirts off I don’t think Grandma would’ve minded. My mother on the other hand…. Pff!” We laughed together, threw off a bit of our grief, and remembered Grandma fondly. “Anyway, why did he hit you?”
I grinned. “I laughed when he called Jackie ‘sugar.’”
Jay was shocked; his eyes grew big as he stared at me. “What? And she didn’t kill him for it?”
I shook my head. “No. Apparently she gets to call him Johnnie, and he gets to call her ‘sugar.’ Isn’t that sweet?”
“I think I just barfed in my mouth.”
“Eww, gross, Jay! Thanks for the image!”
He bumped shoulders with me. “It’s no worse than me standing here now imagining your brother and my sister cooing sweet love words at each other.” Then he dissolved into giggles.
M
Y
BROTHERS
hounded me until I promised to bring Jay to Ben’s buck’s night. Cameron’s house had been selected for the venue—primarily because he was the best man at the wedding, but also because of the huge games room that had been added to the back of his house. That room was Cameron’s man cave and came complete with pool table and bar. Perfect buck’s night venue—entertainment, fridge for the beer, and enough room for the stripper.
Jay was 100 percent against attending, though. I had finally confessed my accidental outing to him and he had been partly horrified and partly amused by my antics. He was deeply sorry for precipitating the situation, so I just kissed him until he forgot all about it.
But when I mentioned the buck’s night, he was adamant he wouldn’t go.
“No way, Liam! What am I meant to do at a buck’s night?”
“I don’t know? How about get drunk and have some fun?”
“Yeah, and what about when the strippers turn up? What am I meant to do, then?”
I sighed in exasperation at him. “The same thing as me, maybe? I don’t even know if there are any strippers coming. Alison has forbidden them. But if they do turn up, then you and me can just disappear into the bedroom and make out or something. Come on! They all want to meet you. I need you there, man, or else they are going to make my life a misery talking about you all night.”
“No.”
“Please, babe? For me? We are just going to have fun and get totally pissed. Please?”
Jay stayed resolute until a few hours later, when he finally agreed. Of course, at that time he was on his hands and knees in the middle of my bed. I had eased my way into his tight passage and had taken delight in thrusting several times, getting Jay on edge before I carefully pulled out and moved away.
“No! Liam! Where are you going!” he cried out.
My own cock was throbbing with need and screamed loudly at me to finish what I promised, but I was firm. “I don’t know….”
“Please, Liam! Please! I’ll do anything?”
“Anything?”
“Anything you want. Please! Just come back and shove that missile back in me and fuck the heck out of me.”
I moved back up behind him until the rubber on the tip of my dick was just touching his skin. “Anything, Jay?”
“Fuck, yes! Anything.” He was sobbing and howling by this time.
“Even come to my brother’s buck’s night?” I pushed back inside him. “Will you come with me, Jay?”
“Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.”
Afterward, he claimed that he didn’t agree but somehow I had developed selective hearing around him. I dressed for the party at the ridiculous hour of 4:00 p.m. on Saturday, and then forced Jay to drive me to his house, where we spent the next several hours bickering over his attendance. Eventually, I forced him into a shower, and then watched as he pulled out the entire contents of his wardrobe before declaring he had nothing to wear.
“I’ve never been to a straight man’s buck’s night. Hell! I’ve never been to a gay man’s buck’s night. I have no fucking idea what to wear!”
I sighed and threaded a discarded shirt back onto its hanger and stowed it away in the wardrobe. “Put on what you would wear to a party, Jay. Come on, man. Stop torturing me. If I have to look at your naked arse prance around this room much longer, you are going to be attending the party naked and well fucked, and I know that will not make a good impression on my brothers.”
At last he settled on jeans—
ah duh!
—and a black T-shirt under a black silky button-up shirt. I made myself busy, picking up clothes strewn around the room, while Jay fussed with his hair and dithered over eyeliner. “The black goes with the outfit but the green just looks so sexy. What do you think, Liam?”
Finally, Jay, complete with green sparkly eyeliner, was dressed and we departed. He was nervous but I was amazingly calm. He looked great—
cue that my dick in my jeans needed adjusting once again!
—and I was proud to be walking into my brother’s house with him. Of course, we were late even though I had given Jay nearly two hours to get ready, so the party had started by the time we arrived. I made a mental note that he was not joking when he said it took him ages to dress in the morning.
I held the door open for him and we followed the noise to the back of the house. Jay hesitated, so I grabbed his hand, and firmly threaded our fingers together as a show of solidarity before coolly entering. The room contained twelve guys, all well on their way to getting tipsy, and they cried out as I entered.
“Liam! Finally!”
“Yo, bro!”
“Did you bring the boyfriend?”
I shook my head at the last comment. Cameron, poor guy. Always slow on the uptake. Couldn’t he see the gorgeous specimen of manhood I had attached to my hand? “Cameron, you twat. Open your eyes before you open your mouth.”
Cameron rose unsteadily to his feet, making it apparent that he had started in early on the beers. He addressed Jay, weaving slightly in front of us. “Hey, dude! Welcome to my house! Come in and find yourself something to drink. Food is over there on the table, beer and coke in the fridge, spirits behind the bar, and we have pizza coming in about twenty minutes.”
Jay thawed a bit at the greeting, so I dragged him around to introduce him to my brothers. They were all very polite and accepting—welcoming him with broad smiles and happy handshakes. God, I loved them ever so much in that single moment.
Of course the happy buzz wore off in the next two seconds when I started in on Ben’s friends. The two other groomsmen—Mickey and Donnie—were enthusiastic. I’d known them what seemed to be my whole life. They had been mates with Ben from primary school and had hung around the house enough that they were pretty much best mates with all the Turner boys. Donnie took a bit of a double take at the sight of Jay’s polished fingernails, but shook hands with a genuine grin. I realized that they had all been prepped—there was no shock of
oh my God, is he gay?
Nor surprise at the fact we were obviously a couple. My family had evidently primed them all for the fact I was bringing my boyfriend.