Loving Her (7 page)

It was a nice
five-minute ride to Colt and Van’s house, and Bella could hardly contain her excitement. She loved Noah so much, and they shared a special bond that nobody would ever take away from them. Since she’d been sick, they’d missed out on time together. I knew once we pulled up at the house she’d be out of sight until we were ready to leave.

We should have suspected that something was wrong when they hadn’t called or
had come beating on the door first thing. As we pulled in, everything was quiet. Nobody was outside and the front door was closed. I knew every morning that door was opened to let the sunshine in. Colt always did his morning rounds and then came back for breakfast.

Ty looked at me
, and I could tell that he was wondering the same thing. “It’s weird, huh? Too quiet.”

“Yeah,” I said as I looked around. Both vehicles were out back as well as two Gators, the gas powered ATV’s that Colt preferred to ride around the farm in.
“I swear they said they’d be here. Van told me she was making dinner for us tonight. I texted her when we got here.”

“Something’s wrong.”

“I hope you’re wrong, Ty. My heart can’t take much more. It’s not even recovered yet from Bella being ill.”

He patted my leg. “We better go see what’s going on, before they bust in and make things ten times worse.”

We climbed off and walked up the porch steps, both wondering what could possibly be happening inside.

The kids
ran up to the front door, so we followed, worried. We stood there, waiting for someone to answer as the boys knocked in unison.

After a few minutes,
Van appeared and opened the door slowly. She was in tears and I feared the health of one of the kids. I grabbed her arm, pushing my own children out of the way and pulling her into my arms. “What’s wrong?”

She kept hugging me. “It’s Sam. She died in Noah’s bed last night. He woke up and found her.
Oh God, it’s so awful. I just can’t believe it.”

My heart immediately broke for Noah, Colt and their whole family. That dog had been around before they’d become a family. She was Noah’s best buddy. “I’m so sorry.”

I scanned the room, seeing that nobody was in the living room or kitchen. “Are they buryin’ her?”

Van cried more, finally moving away from me and hugging Ty. He held her tightly, rubbing her back for support. “Where’s Colt?”

“They’re upstairs in Noah’s room. He won’t let Colt take her out of there. The girls don’t understand what’s going on, and Colt’s a mess himself. He loved her so much, you know? We knew this day was coming, because she was getting up there in age, but I didn’t know she’d die in Noah’s bed like that. I guess she wanted to be with the person she loved the most, when she took her last breaths.”

I looked at Ty, who genuinely looked as upset as I felt. We both knew she was just a dog, but she’d been so much more to this family. Bella tapped on my arm. “Mom, is it okay to go upstairs?”

“Why don’t you wait down here until daddy goes up and checks on everyone?”

I didn’t know if Colt would be okay with us barging in on this horrible morning they were having.

Ty reluctantly headed up the stairs. I could tell he was a little torn up, knowing how much a man could love his pet. When Colt was at his worst, he got Sam. She’d been his faithful companion for so many years. She watched the house fill with love and children and protected them with her life, whenever she’d gotten the chance. They needed to say goodbye to their loyal companion today, and it wasn’t going to be easy for any of them.

Van led me into the kitchen. My kids followed, and thankfully remained quiet. “I guess we’re going to have a dog funeral, so it’s easier for the kids to say goodbye. Colt told Noah that he could pick the spot where they lay her to rest.”

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. They haven’t left the room, neither of them. They just keep petting her, waiting for her to respond to their touch. Colt knows she’s gone, but I swear I’ve never seen him this emotional over an animal. We all loved her so much.”

“I know.”

She poured a cup of coffee and handed it to me, before making one for herself and grabbing the cream and sugar. We sat across from one another while the kids sat and waited on the couch. I almost wanted to laugh at how behaved they were acting in a
tragic situation after having a terrible morning at the guesthouse. “This is all part of life. I guess the kids need to learn that everything dies at some point. We can’t live forever, and they need to learn how to cope when this sort of thing happens. I just feel so bad, like my heart aches for the dog and my children. Then there’s Colt. He was on his way to make rounds this morning and peeked in the room. Usually Sam gets up and rides with him. He said he called her a couple of times and she never budged. Then he walked in and felt her.” Van sobbed before she could continue. “She was already stiff.” I handed her a napkin and let her blow her nose. “Colt came into the bedroom in shock. He sat down on the edge of the bed and covered his face. I knew something was terribly wrong. When I started to get up and check on the kids, he called me back into the room.”

“I would have thought it was the kids too.”

“All he could say was her name. I stood over him, wrapping my arms around him and trying to be supportive, even when I could feel his heart breaking as we embraced. It’s just so hard, saying goodbye to someone that’s been in your life every single day for so long.”

My throat started to burn as I fought back my own tears for this animal. She’d saved my daughter a few times, from snakes, bad weather
, and stupid decisions.

Ty came downstairs alone. He leaned over and told our kids to go outside and play before heading in
to the kitchen. “I’m going to help Colt bury him once Noah finds a spot. He wants to know if Iz will go with him, so she’s outside waiting. This day sucks.”

Van faked a smile. “I’m glad you guys are here. I know it sucks, but Colt needs the distractions. He’s not good with expressing his feelings, but between Noah crying and his own emotions, I know it’s going to be difficult.”

“What if we had a funeral? I can occupy the kids with the preparations. We can invite mine and Colt’s moms and John. I think it would be good for Noah to know that we are all there for him and all of you.”

Van played with her coffee cup, but continued to cry. “That would be really nice.”

Two teary eyed girls came down and clung to Van’s arms. Their sniffles filled the room and even Ty looked sad over it. He leaned down and faced them. “Aunt Miranda wants to have a celebration of Sam’s life. Do you think you can help her make it happen?”

They both nodded.

He rubbed Christian’s arm. “I know you loved Sam. We all did. She was pretty great, wasn’t she?”

They nodded, but Christian finally spoke. “She was real good. I wish she didn’t die.”

Addy hid her face in her mother’s arm. I could hear her sniffling and knew that neither of them fully understood what death was.

“Sam is in Heaven now.”

“I want her to come home.” Addy pouted.

“When you go to Heaven you can’t come back here. I know it sucks, but she’s happy and she’s a puppy again.”

“Is her fur still soft? Will someone pet her at night?” Christian wanted to know such simple answers. I wished that I could take away that emptiness she was feeling.

“I think she’s probably gettin’ pet by all kinds of angels, don’t you, Uncle Ty?”

“Oh yeah. They’re probably giving her whole steaks to eat, out of golden dishes.”

Van sighed as we kept comforting the girls. They were going to be the easy ones to get through this trying time. Noah, who was older, understood the real meaning of death. He knew she wasn’t coming back, and whether he believed that dogs went to Heaven was irrelevant. He was still burying his best friend. It wasn’t going to hurt any less. “Would you like to make Sam something for the funeral?”

Addy nodded and Christian pulled out a chair and sat down. “I want to decorate her collar and make it pretty.”

“Me too.” Addy sat in the chair next to her sister.

Van got up. “I’ll go get their craft boxes.”

Ty stood up and patted me on the shoulder, whispering in my ear, “I’m going to try and get Noah to let us wrap her up and take her body outside. You okay in here with them?”

I nodded and smiled. “Of course.”

He kissed me on the head and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me there with two heartbroken, very sweet little girls.

We hadn’t come here to Kentucky to be sad, but I wouldn’t miss being there for my family, not when they needed us as much as we needed them.

Chapter 9

Tyler

My first inkling was to get Colt calmed down enough to get the dog out of the house before she started smelling. She was cold and stiff, and her eyes were starting to look awful. Noah continued petting the dog as I walked in the room and knelt down at the foot of the bed so that I could be close to him.

Both he and his dad looked up at me. “She’s dead, Uncle Ty. Sam’s dead.”

Man, it really broke my heart hearing that kid say it like he did. Colt shook his head and said nothing, not that I expected him to. As a guy, you wanted to be tough, especially around your kids, but I knew for a fact that it was tearing him up inside.

“I know, little dude. I’m really sorry. It sucks when someone you love dies.”

“Yeah,” he sniffled, and I could tell that he was trying real hard not to cry in front his dad or me. “She was a good girl.”

“Izzy’s downstairs
, and she said she like to help you find the perfect spot to bury Sam, if you want her to.”

He nodded. “I reckon it’s a good idea.”

I almost laughed, hearing him talk like his father.

“Get your clothes changed and head on out,” Colt ordered.

Noah stood up and looked over at his father. “Be gentle with her, Dad. Just ‘cause she’s gone don’t mean we can’t take good care of her.”

Colt
didn’t argue with his son, although I was sure he wasn’t going to bring the dog’s body any harm. “You got it, kid. Go on now.”

Noah left the room reluctantly, looking back one last time at his companion.

I waited until we were alone to touch Colt’s shoulder. “She was a good one.”

He stared at her. “Yeah. That she was. It’s a damn shame this shit happened in Noah’s bed. He ain’t never goin’ to forget it.”

“Colt, she was old. It was bound to happen somewhere. Let’s get her covered up and carry her outside. The kids will find a spot and I’ll help you dig out the hole.”

“I’ll use the Bobcat. If you want to help you can help me drive it over from the main barn where I keep the equipment.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Instead of wrapping her body in
trash bags, which is what I would have done, Colt wrapped her in a sheet with cartoon characters all over it. We carried her out to the front porch and headed out to get the Bobcat.

We spotted the kids on the way and they showed us where they wanted to bury the dog. I watched Colt clenching his jaw and knew the day was going to be especially hard on him.

I shot Miranda a message, letting her know where the kids had wandered to, right before climbing onto the Bobcat and following Colt back to the spot.

Colt did the digging with the machine, probably needing the time inside the little thing to gather his thoughts. He’d always shut down as a self
-coping mechanism. I didn’t understand how someone could keep their pain bottled up like the way he did.

Once the hole was large enough to fit a car
– yes, that is how big he dug it – we headed back to the house. I’m sure Miranda had helped, but Van had lunch waiting for us. Noah and Izzy hadn’t come back inside, but I figured that having them spending time together was the best remedy. If anyone could keep his mind off of losing Sam, it was Izzy.

The younger kids sat in the kitchen eating. The adults retreated to the dining room where we sat there quietly, not knowing what to say to each other. Van must have hated that nobody was talking. She cleared her voice after finishing a bite of her
sandwich. “How was the drive? Did the kids behave?”

“As much as can be expected. They slept for a lot of it, until Ty slammed on the brakes and
pretended we were crashin’.”

“You didn’t?” She looked at me with wide eyes. “Never mind. I take it back when it has something to do with you.”

“It was funny at the time. Besides, Miranda knows how I am.”

“A child in a grown up body?”

Van laughed at her comment.

I shook my head. “No! A dad with a sense of humor.”

While we bickered, Colt got up and walked in the direction of his office. A few seconds later, Colt’s mom came walking in the door. Noah walked over to her and let her comfort him.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. Being in this house for one more second was setting me crazy. I knew they needed to say goodbye and everyday things would get easier, but watching these kids so sad was too much for me.

Without telling Miranda what I was up to, I retreated to the bathroom, where I started looking for Lab puppies for sale in the area. I found two ads right away and saved the numbers.

Once I was outside, I called and found out that there was a female Lab who was ten weeks old and looking for a home.
Colt was going to kill me, but I was going to get them a dog so that the kids could smile again.

After I let Iz in on my secret plan, we snuck away. Miranda text
ed me and I told her that Iz and I were doing something special to cheer everyone up. I knew she didn’t trust my judgment, so of course I got plenty more messages with her demanding to know what I was up to.

I sort of knew she’d try to talk me out of it, so I ignored her messages, knowing she’d forgive me at some point.

“Daddy, I think it’s really nice what you’re doin’.”

“I hope everyone else feels that way.”

“Noah’s really sad.” She looked out the window as she spoke.

I started paying attention to the directions on the navigation, so we didn’t get lost. “All pets die, babe. It’s part of life. As sad as it is, we all learn to cope.”

“So you’re not gettin’ them a dog so they can forget about Sam?”

“No
, of course not. I’m getting them a puppy so they can start over. Sam may be gone, but they loved having her around. A new puppy will fill that void and make it easier for them to move on. Understand?”

“Yeah, I’m eleven, not five,
dad.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m aware of how old you are, Iz. I was there when you were born, remember?”

She smiled and looked over at me. “I can’t forget it when you remind me ALL the time.”

“That day changed my life. I can’t help it if it’s one of the best days I’ve ever experienced. I want everyone to know. I’ll scream it from the rooftops and tell every boy that tries to date you. I say try, because there is no way I’ll ever let you date a boy.”

“Dad, stop. Please. You’re embarassin’ me.”

“Do you know that if you tongue kiss a boy, you can get pregnant?”

“Eww! Gross. Kissin’ with a tongue?”

I was happy that she didn’t seem to know what
French kissing was. “It’s true. Don’t you ever let a boy stick his tongue in your mouth, you hear me?”

“Yes. I hear you. Can we please talk about something else?”

I laughed, ignoring the fact that I’d lied. She needed to be scared of boys, so that they wouldn’t have the chance to ever hurt her.

I pulled up at the address a little while later. Iz refused to talk for the rest of the ride. I think she was regretting going with me because of my choice of topics. When she was an adult she’d understand.

We knocked on the door, waiting for someone to answer so we could see the puppy. I wasn’t about to buy some mutt. Colt would want the real deal when it came to a puppy. He’d always had Labs growing up, so I knew I wasn’t going wrong.

A woman, looking to be my age, opened the door. She invited us in and froze when she saw Iz. She looked from me to my daughter and then back to me again.

I shook it off, thinking nothing of it.

We walked into the kitchen, where we saw one puppy and its mother. The mother came over to smell and greet us, and within seconds so did the pup. She was chocolate in color and had light hazel eyes. Iz picked her up and kissed her, while I went to ask about the pup’s health.

The little chocolate Lab was going to be perfect, so I pulled out the cash and paid for her, excited that I had something for everyone to smile about.

The seller filled out the paperwork for me to take and we were almost out the door before she came running. “Wait! I have puppy food you can take with you. I won’t use it anymore.”

She handed me the bag and leaned down to pet the puppy that Izzy was holding. “I really hope you enjoy her. She’s super sweet.”

Izzy smiled. “She’s not for me. We live in North Carolina. This puppy is for my cousin and his family.
”

“How sweet is that
? Does he have a big yard for her to run in?”

“They own the Mitchell Ranch.”

The woman’s eyes got wide. “Oh my goodness. That’s why you look familiar. You’re Miranda Healy and Tucker Chase’s daughter. It was a shame he was such a loser. He sure did make a pretty little girl.”

My stomach dropped and I immediately jumped in front of them. “I’m her father.”
I looked over at Iz. “Put the puppy in the truck, sweetie.”

I watched as she climbed in the vehicle,
and then turned to the woman. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m the only father that c
hild has ever known. You may have just ruined my life, lady.”

She put her hands over her face. “Oh God. I’m so sorry. Miranda and I were friends. I knew she was married, but I didn’t know.”

The damage was done.

“I better get home.”

I didn’t know who this person was, but in a matter of seconds I saw the wheels turnin
g in Izzy’s head. As soon as I got into the SUV, she started asking questions that I didn’t want to answer.

“Who’s Tucker? How did that lady know
Mom? Why would she say he was my dad?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. She must be confused.”

“Maybe Mommy knows who Tucker is.”

I thought about Miranda, Van
, and everyone else whose life Tucker Chase had ruined. He wasn’t just an evil ghost we never wanted to think about again. He was the only thing that I’d never be able to be. His blood ran through my daughter’s veins, and I couldn’t fathom her knowing it.

The problem was, the more she questioned and got no answers, the more curious she became.
By the time we pulled back up at the ranch, my stomach was in knots, and I was certain I was going to throw up my lunch from earlier.

Miranda was back at the guest house
when she saw Iz getting out with the puppy. I stayed in the car and waited for her to walk over to open the door. “I can’t believe you went out and got them a puppy. That is the sweetest thing, Tyler Mitchell. You see there are reasons that I love you so much.” When I sat there, emotionless, Miranda got concerned. “What is it? What’s wrong? Did Colt say he didn’t want the puppy?”

“
The person we got the puppy from knew you. She asked if Iz was yours and Tucker’s daughter.”

The words hurt to say.

They hurt so much.

Miranda looked as shocked as I felt. “Oh, baby. I’ll tell her that I don’t know who Tucker is, okay? She never has to know.”

I just sat there.

“Ty, nothin’ bad is goin’ to happen. I’ll tell her she was mistaken. It’s goin’ to be fine.”

I let her hug me as I climbed out of the vehicle, but I didn’t feel reassured. I couldn’t as long as Iz was questioning it. A lie like that could ruin my life and the bond we shared. If I lost that, I didn’t know what I’d do.

“I hope you’re right, Miranda. Right now, I feel like my heart is going to be ripped out of my chest.”

“I promise.”

Somehow, doing something good for my family could have cost me my happiness
, and they didn’t even know it yet.

Chapter 10

Miranda

When I saw the look on Tyler’s face, I knew something was very wrong. Then he told me what had happened. It felt like the life was being ripped out of me. I wasn’t sure who he’d bought the puppy from, or if they were ever considered a friend to me, but whatever they’d said to him may have ruined the secret we’d spent years trying to cover up.

People may have said we were bad parents for living with a lie that was so serious. As a mother, all I ever wanted to do was protect my children. I needed to protect them from the evil
that was out there in the world.

Tucker Chase was the devil. He’d beat me, cheated on me, lied to me
, and that wasn’t even the worst of his actions.

For money, he’d kidnapped a pregnant Van and tortured her, causing her to fight for her life and lose a child she spent years trying to have.
She’d killed him in self-defense, and it wasn’t exactly easy to cope with. She lost her mind after that, and almost lost Colt.

Tucker’s mom was just as evil. After running into her years ago, Ty and I made the decision to do whatever it took to make sure they had nothing to
do with Bella’s life.

My husband risked everything for our daughter, even the possibility of losing me. We thought that when we added Ty’s name to the birth certificate, that nobody else could ever hurt us. I had no idea that someone would come into our lives and stir everything up again.

Bella wasn’t just our daughter, she was Ty’s world. We’d gone through
hell when she fell ill, and now this was happening, possibly damaging everything the two of them shared together.

I couldn’t let something so awful happen. I couldn’t let her ever find out that Tucker had anything to do with her life. He was nothing but a sperm donor. He’d never wanted her and made it very clear to everyone he spoke to.
I couldn’t believe he was getting to me from the grave.

I felt sick hearing his name and was willing to lie right to my daughter’s face if it would ensure her happiness and my family’s stability.

With his emotions running deep, it was best to let him be alone until I figured out if Bella was suspicious, or if she’d forget all about it, like it never happened.

The first thing I needed to do was be around her and
see if she asked me anything. I didn’t have to wait long, considering as soon as she saw me she came running over. Her question was sudden and my heart dropped hearing his name coming out of her mouth. “Mom, who is Tucker?”

“Tucker? Tucker who?” I tried to play it off like I’d never heard the name before.

“We went to get the puppy and some lady said that a man named Tucker was my dad.”

“Bella, you know who your father is. She must have been confused, that’s all. Why would you even question it? There’s no two people more bonded than you are with your dad. That’s crazy.”

“She said she knew you.”

“It’s been a long time. She must have gotten me mixed up with another one of our friends.”

“So did you have a friend named Tucker?” Her questions continued.

“Not that I can remember.” She could keep asking, but my answers would remain the same. Tucker was an evil person. He didn’t deserve to be acknowledged as anyone that I knew. He’d put our family through
hell, and none of us wanted to have that part of our past brought up.

“
Are you mad at me for askin’?”

I ran my hand through her blonde hair. “Of course not. I just don’t want your dad gettin’ his feelin’s hurt over somethin’ so silly. I think you need to find him and give
him a hug.”

She ran off before replying and I felt like everything was going to be okay.

The kids had all come outside, including Colt and Van. They were paying close attention to the little bundle of fur that Ty had gotten for them.

Van
had the pup in her arms and was cuddling with it, while Colt stood there with his arms folded across his chest. I walked over to him and looked over at the puppy. “Is this okay with you? I know it’s really soon.”

Van let down the puppy and the children
crowded around it. It sucked up their attention, and I could tell they were instantly in love.

Colt
motioned toward his kids, especially focusing on Noah. “If it puts a smile on their faces, I guess it’s a good idea. We still need to bury Sam, but maybe it won’t be so hard. Ever since Ty walked over with that puppy I haven’t seen a single tear. It’s a big change from how things started for us this mornin’.”

I wrapped my arm inside of my cousin
’s. “Sam was a great dog, Colt. Ty wasn’t tryin’ to replace her. He just wanted to make the kids happy. He wanted to make you happy. You know how he is. He’s a sucker for being a hero.”

He patted my hand with his. “I know. He could have waited, but I get it.
He’s a good uncle; a pain in the ass sometimes, but definitely a good man.”

“Thanks for sayin’ that.” Ty would appreciate Colt’s words, considering how much he looked up to his older cousin. Colt was always the better man when it came to measuring up. Everyone that knew him would agree.

I walked over to find Ty standing by himself.
From the look on his face, I could tell that he wasn’t settled down. “Hey, babe. You alright?”