Loving Her (26 page)

Ty always made her warm milk when she couldn’t sleep, but mostly I think she’d always done it for his attention. He rushed into the kitchen without thinking about the consequences. “I’ll get it for you, Iz.”

She backed away from him and he froze in front of her. “I can get it myself.”

Ty’s face changed from hopeful to hurt and he walked out of the kitchen without saying anything else to her. I grabbed the cup out of her hand and looked right at her. “He was tryin’ to be nice to you. Is it that necessary to treat him so bad? When has he ever done that to you?”

She shrugged. “I guess you won’t have to worry about it anymore, since you’re sendin’ me away.” She went running back to her bedroom without the drink. I was so frustrated and knew that Ty was probably feeling the same. Suddenly I realized that the bath was probably the worst idea ever. I sat down on the couch and covered my face with my hands. I felt like the world’s worst mother, and I didn’t know how things were ever going to get any better.

Chapter 35

Tyler

Miranda gave me three shots of Bourbon before bed to help me sleep. When I say that she gave them to me, I mean she practically shoved them down my throat.

I almost wished that she hadn’t, because waking up knowing that I had to take Iz wasn’t a good feeling.

We had a big breakfast together and the boys made it clear how jealous they were that she got to go stay in Kentucky. For the first time since we’d told her the news, she seemed excited.
It was a kick in the gut hearing her talking about living with Noah.

While laying in bed the night before, Miranda and I discussed the possibility of that happening. We agreed that even if it didn’t turn Izzy around, the time apart would be good for all of us and it would give her time to heal and move on. Colt and Van were planning on bringing her home for Thanksgiving which was a little more than three weeks away.

Seeing her packing her last bags in the car really broke me down. I was hoping that she’d somehow come begging us to stay, but she never did. After she said her goodbyes, I hugged my boys and then my wife. Miranda was already crying and we hadn’t even started the car. “Baby, remember this is temporary.”

She nodded and tried to smile, failing completely. “I know. I’m bein’ so stupid about this. She’s gone to stay with them for longer periods in the summer.”

“Exactly.” I moved the hair away from her cheeks and kissed her there. “I love you. I’ll call when we get there. Don’t forget I’m staying at the guest house tonight and coming home in the morning. If you need anything just call me.”

The three of them waved as we pulled down the dirt road and then we were off to Kentucky. To break the ice, I turned on Izzy’s favorite station. She quickly grabbed her ear-buds and put them in, blocking out the radio and anything else I might want to say to her.

We weren’t even a mile away from home and she was ignoring me. I clenched my jaw and tried to keep calm, knowing that if I became irrational, it would piss her off more.

After driving for an hour I realized I was starving. I pulled up to a drive-thru and she finally brought her attention to me. “You know what I want, right?”

I did. “Sure do.”

We caught eyes for just a second and I could see that she realized we’d connected. She turned quickly and peered out the window.

It was hard being so close to her and feeling the tension. I handed her the food, but didn’t change my expression as I spoke. “Can you pull mine out for me?”

She did as I asked and we both started eating while I continued to drive. We’d finished before anything was said again, but I figured since she didn’t have her ear buds in that I would be able to speak my mind. “Are you going to miss your friends at home?”

She shrugged. “Not the boys.”

I smiled. “That’s because boys your age are buttheads.”

“And warts. Lots of them have warts.”

It was nice, hearing her talk to me somewhat like she used to. “I know your brothers are going to miss you. Who are they going to bother every morning?”
 

“I’m not goin’ to miss those annoyin’ poopfaces.”

“Iz there's something I want you to know that I've only ever been able to tell your mother. I know you might not care, but I need to get this off of my chest." I paused and thought about finding the right words to explain. "Remember how we told you the funny stories of how Aunt Van used to be my girlfriend?"

She nodded.

"Well, the real reason we broke up was because I became someone I wasn't proud of. When I had my accident and got out of the hospital I found out she'd fallen in love with Uncle Colt. It broke my heart for a while, but I knew he loved her and would always be good to her. While they wanted to start their future together, I was left alone. I got really depressed and even wondered why God had made me survive the crash. I felt so worthless. I considered ending my life." I looked right at Iz. "Then something happened and I felt like I had a reason to wake up everyday.”

Izzy seemed interested in my story. “What happened?”

“Well, I drove with your Aunt Van to take her to Kentucky. When your mom went into labor, we were the only ones to drive her to the hospital, except we didn’t make it in time. You were born in the backseat and from the moment I saw your beautiful face, everything changed for me. I never felt love like I felt for you, instantly, as if I was meant to feel that way about you. You changed me and made me want to be different. Everything I have is because of the love you showed me.”

She looked down at her hands and said nothing.

I couldn’t help myself, even though I knew I was pushing the limits of the conversation. “I’m going to miss you, Iz. I know you hate me right now, but every day of my life has been better because you’ve been in it. I wake up and look forward to seeing your smiling face and I enjoy tucking you in each night. Maybe you’ll never forgive me, but I’ll never stop loving you. If you ever need anything, I’ll be there, even if you refuse to talk to me ever again.”

I was trying to focus on the road, but talking about my feelings had gotten me all messed up in the head. My eyes watered so badly that I had to pull over to the side of the road.

Normally, I’d be able to walk away from something without shedding a tear, but I felt like I was dropping off a part of myself and just walking away. It was like telling a kid to walk outside and shoot their favorite pet. This beautiful young girl had a piece of my heart and imagining her giving it back to me was devastating.

I began t
o sob, putting my hands up to my face to hide my embarrassment. Here I was, driving her to try and teach her a lesson and not even two hours into the drive I was pulled over and crying like a little pussy.

I couldn’t look at her and see her unaffected reaction. I had to try and calm down on my own.

I heard her jacket shuffling and felt her arms wrapping around me. In the smallest whisper I heard her speak. “I’ll miss you the most.”

I turned, not even wiping the tears away, and looked at her. “What did you say?” I thought I was hearing things out of desperation.

She started to cry.

There we were, on some deserted country road crying together. I wiped a tear from her cheek and she looked up at me. “Please don’t cry anymore. It makes me sad.”

“I’m sorry.”

Izzy shrugged. “I know you’re my only dad. I get that you’re the only man that
raised me.”

I looked right at her, amazed that after she’d dissed me in so many ways, she was admitting the only thing I wanted to hear. “Can you say that again?”

Izzy rolled her eyes. She put her hand on my shoulder. “You heard me.”

I reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it between both of mine. “That means a lot to me.”

She turned away, like the last five minutes hadn’t happened.

Deciding not to push my luck, I started driving again. Izzy put her ear-buds back in and looked out the window. I had to be happy that she’d at least acknowledged me. It was better than nothing at all.

Thankfully, she fell asleep shortly after that and slept for the whole rest of the ride. Had it not been for that, I don’t know what we would have talked about. I didn’t know what Colt was thinking when he said he wanted me to have the whole ride to talk to her, when for all these weeks she’d done everything she could to avoid conversation with me.

Izzy woke up when we hit the gravel driveway and approached Colt and Van’s house. She started gathering her th
ings and prepared to jump out, even before the vehicle came to a stop. When it did, she went flying out and up the steps to see her cousins. I took my time getting out, while telling myself the whole time that this was going to be temporary. I kept reminding myself that she’d come around and we’d all be happy again in no time.

Then I walked in the house and saw her smiling. My heart dropped as I watched her interacting with Noah and Van, like she used to at our house. I felt so defeated.

Colt put his hand on my shoulder and walked with me into the kitchen. I watched as Van took Izzy by the hand and led her into the office. “Is she giving her the house rules or something?”

Colt chuckled and took a sip of a bottle of water. “Why don’t you go find out.”

I rolled my eyes and walked out of the kitchen, wondering why he was being so damn cryptic. Obviously she would need to follow the rules and be respectful of her cousins and their things.

When I got to the office door, I heard Van talking and I stood there, shocked at what she was talking about.

“Bella, you know we love having you here, right?”

“Yeah. I promise to behave.”

“There’s something I think you need to know before you decide to stay here with us; something that might make you change your mind. Sit down and I’ll explain.”

“Am I in trouble?” I could understand why she’d think that. I couldn’t imagine what Van had to talk to her about.

“No. This is about me. It’s about something that happened with me and your biological father.”

It took me two seconds to get my hand on the office door-handle and burst into the room. “Van, don’t do this.” Izzy was sitting down. Van had her hands on her hips and a mad look on her face.

“This is my decision, not Colt’s and surely not yours. We sat Noah down and told him everything last night. Bella deserves the truth, Ty.”

“Please don’t do this. Miranda doesn’t want her to know. I don’t either. It’s too horrible and it could make things way worse. How do you think she’s going to take the end result of your story?”

“It is the truth. If she wants to make decisions that impact her family the way she is, then she can hear the truth, besides, I talked to Miranda about this today and she said I could.”

I ran my hands through my hair and folded my arms across my chest. “Fine. I guess I can’t stop you.”

Van sat down opposite from Iz and reached her hands across the table. She gripped onto Izzy’s and looked her right in the eyes. “What I’m about to tell you isn’t going to be pretty. It might even make you upset. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t feel like it wasn’t important. You and Noah went digging into something that you never should have learned about. Now it’s destroying one of the people that love you the most in this world.”

“What is it?” Izzy asked.

“Tucker Chase was a horrible person, Bella. You’re not going to learn the truth from any newspaper or obituary. If you want the truth, I’m going to give it to you. I’ll tell you everything I know and experienced firsthand, so you can finally put this curiosity to rest.”

Izzy was quiet for a couple moments and then finally answered in a soft tone, as if she were intimidated. “Okay.”

“When I met your mother, she was giving birth to you. We’ve been close ever since. I got to see what she was put through when she was still seeing Tucker. Not only did he ask her to terminate her pregnancy, but he made it clear that he didn’t want to be a father. Your mother was heartbroken, because she loved you more than anything in the world. She wanted the best life for you and soon realized that it was best if they ended things. We went out one night and he tried to kidnap her. Ty and Conner had to fight him off of your mother because he was beating her up.”

“You’re lyin’ so I don’t like him.” Izzy was in disbelief. She couldn’t allow herself to think that Tucker Chase was better off dead.

Van paused for a second and gave me a look, then proceeded again. “I’m not lying to you, Bella. They had to get a protective order from the police and that’s why you two moved to North Carolina.”

From the look on Izzy’s face, I could tell she was starting to piece everything together.

“That’s not the worst Bella. When your Uncle and I got married, we wanted to have children immediately. We tried for months and nothing happened. Finally, after we’d given up hope, I found out I was pregnant. We were so happy and the doctors told me that I was in perfect health.” Van started to cry. She grabbed a couple tissues and blew her nose. “It was such a happy time for me, back then. I felt like the luckiest person in the world.” She sniffled some more before she could continue.

“You don’t have to continue, Van.” I didn’t want her to.