Loving Hart (16 page)

Me:
I'm glad you don't see him that way. He's mine. But y
ou need to find someone worthy! 
You haven't had sex since then. Stop kissing frogs and then get down to it.

Dominique:
You're right, he's totally yours.  Always has been. 
Not all of us get a Spencer, Delilah.  You’re just lucky.

Me: Someday you’ll be lucky too.  Just wait!

Dominique: Hope so.  Be bad, see yo
u later
,
night.  Give Spence a hug for me.  Love ya!

Me: Love you too.

From behind me
,
I felt Spencer shift.  “Fifty-two huh?  Damn
,
Delilah.  You know how to make a guy happy.”

Grabbing a pillow, I turned and thumped him with it.  “You little sneak! You were spying on me.”

He laughed as he pulled me into his arms. 
“
I was going to tell you I was awake, but once she asked for a rating I figured I’d best let you give the score.  Not my fault the score made me hard as hell
and desperate to come
inside of you again
.”

Just.

Like.

That.

That’s all it took.  I groaned, wiggling against him.  He growled in my ear as he lifted my leg and entered me gently from behind.  He filled me slowly, giving me time to stretch and accommodate him.  I shivered at the sensation, completely addicted to the feeling of being stretched an
d filled with him, connected on every level. I l
oved it more than anything I’d ever felt before in my life, hands down.  Nothing else even came close.

The rest of o
ur
weekend passed in a haze of wild and intense love making, on the bed, in the shower, on the couch, on the floor, in the kitchen and against the living room wall. There was nowhere that he wouldn’t take me, no place that I didn’t want to be taken. 

He droppe
d me off at my
apartment
later that
night filled with his come
after an
insane
session
on the hood of his car.  Like I said, there was nowhere that he wouldn’t take me, and ju
st like every other time, I loved
him with a smile on my face
and wonder in my heart
.

We met every night for the next thirty days.  Every night, even when I had my period and we couldn’t do anything.  He wanted me sleeping in his bed even then, and I did it without hesitation.  Those four days were really the only time that I got real sleep
during the
thirty days.  Otherwise, we used every hour, every moment, to explore each other.  We were hot, wild and insatiable, and we took each other like maniacs. 

As wild as we
are together
, as in love with him as I am, I know he’s
really
going to let me
have it
to
night
because the month is up.  I know it, and I’m not going to fight him.  We both knew there was a time limit on this, and it’s a large part of the reason we’ve fucked like rabbits.  This time together needs to
provide us with memor
ies when we can’t be
anymore.

D
ominique says
that
I’m crazy
,
and
she
wants me to put my foot down and
fight for Spencer now,
tell our brothers to chill out,
but I just kno
w that isn’t the way to go.  In my heart
,
I
know
that Spencer and I will wind up together.  But the truth is we just aren’t there yet.  I’m
twenty and still in college
.  He’s twenty-
four
and
he's best friends with my two crazy over protective brothers.
  Neither of us is ready to let
them
know what’s going on between us.  When it comes right down to it, the timing isn’t right.  Not yet.

I know it sounds crazy to let the man I love go, but I know, deep in my so
ul, that holding him to me now c
ould break us up later
, and I’m in it for the long haul with him
.
It would break him to have my brothers angry with him, and they would be if we came out as a couple right now.  That's the last thing that Spencer needs.

I also don't think he's ready to
move forward
.
For all his joking and laughs, Spencer carries
something painful
inside of him.  Until he can deal with whatever it is
that haunts him, he can’t take the plunge with me
.
Whatever it is that tortures him, i
t’s the one place he’s never allowed me to go
with him
, so I kno
w it’s bad.  I also know that if I started
pushing
him for a
nswer
s, it
would
hurt
him
.  Spencer never lies to me, and he’d tell me the truth, no matter what it cost him.  I couldn’t live with that
,
so I always tread carefully around it.  Even when we were kids, I knew not to push him for an explanation for why he hurt.  When he’s ready, he’ll
let me in
.  I believe that with all of my heart.
  This being our last night together hurts me, and I know it hurts him too.  We just aren’t there yet, and pretending that we are would do more harm than good.

I went all out for tonight, buying the sexiest lingerie I could lay my hands on.  I’m buffed and polished, waxed, plucked
,
and pampered from head to toe, and I even took a nap becaus
e I know that neither of us would
want to waste a minute tonight.

He picked me up at my
apartment
just after six, and I climbed into his Porsche Panamera with a smile.
  Instead of immediately driving away, he pulled me to him and claimed my mouth in a kiss.  Our tongues dueled in the rhythm we both love, and I moaned into his mouth as he started to pull away.

“I’ve been hard for you for hours.  The second we get home, I’m dropping you on my cock and riding the fuck out of you Delilah.  I’ve never needed you as bad as I do now baby.”

I smiled
,
even as my mind whirled and my heart constricted painfully in my chest.  He’s never been so desperate because he knows this is it, at least for a while.  I know we need to hold to the agreement, but even I don’t know how we’ll survive it.  Not with how close we are even without all the amazing sex.

The car pulled
into the waning daylight
,
and I stared out the window as we got onto the freeway.  Before too long we were pulling into his driveway, and I jumped out of the car without waiting for him to open the door for me.  Our eyes connected over the roof of the car, and staring at him I said one word.  “Hurry!”

We ran like two crazy idiots to his front door
.  He had it open in seconds
,
and the two of us were stripping our clothes off before the door was fully closed behind us.  I got my shirt and my bra off.  After he took his shirt off, he pulled his zipper down and took his cock out.  My mouth watered when I saw it and I whimpered.  Bunching my skirt up to my waist, he lifted me up against him, growling at me to wrap my legs
around
his waist.  I complied with a moan as he pushed my panties to the side and speared me with one hard thrust.

As incredibly muscular as he is, I sometimes forget how m
uch strength he possesses.  I ga
ve thanks for it
right then as he effortlessly lifted
me up and do
wn on his rigid length as I cried
out
with
pleas
ure.  The slapping sounds we
created
as we made love made
me wetter than ever, and I lean
ed
forward
to
bi
te his lower lip as he continued
lifting and
then dropping me onto him.  I was
in the vortex, crazy for the fe
eling of him pummeling me.  He was
lodged so deep that
each time he dropped
me down
onto his cock
I swear
I could
feel him in my throat. 

“Fucking love you on my dick
,
Delilah.  Love pounding your sweet heat.  Love feeling your cream all over me.  Love your taste.  Love everything that makes you, you.  I can’t be gentle tonight baby.  Going to fuck you
everywhere, fill you up with come
.
  If I do it right, neither of us is going to be walking tomorrow.
”

I screamed
out
as he f
ucked me harder than he ever had
before
, his usual reserves giving way to a base carnal instinct that
superseded any thoughts of being gentle
.  It took me to a place I hadn’t gone to yet.  I
t felt amazing as he
stretched me
,
and it bordered on real pain.  In other words, it was perfect.  I clenched around him like a fist
,
and he lifted me and dro
pped me faster, hitting something inside of me with each thrust that was making me lose my breath and my mind as he kept to that rhythm.
I screamed when
my orgasm arrived, hitting me
so hard that
my vision started to get blurry and
I almost passed o
ut.  “Unh.  Unh. Unh.  SPENCER!"

I was wild, incoherent, brought down to the most primal sexual level possible.  Nothing existed but the two of
u
s, and I was hammered by sensation
.
He was so perfect for me that it hurt to think about it too much.  This love was huge, bigger than anything
,
and all encompassing.  There was no part of me that wasn’t completely his, no little sliver that wasn’t open to his possession.  I wanted him to have everything, and I gave it to him as a gift.  The fact that he gave me all of himself right back gave me a feeling of love that I can’t describe.

His thrusts
somehow
picked up
more
speed
, hitting the spot inside of me at fever pitch.
I wondered if we would
combust
, if we could survive the ride
.  I definitely felt like steam was coming off us.  “
I’m going to
fil
l you with come
baby. You ready?”

I couldn’t talk so I just nodded my agreement as I buried my face in his neck, biting down hard on his shoulder as he came with an animalistic wail,
filling me in deep and hot with his come. The feeling was so intense that it pulled
me straight into another orgasm that threatened to take my sanity with it.
 

It never got
any
less intense over the course of the hours that followed.  We took each other again, and again, and again,
and again
.  Spencer only allowed us to do missionary and me on top, and I knew he did that so that he could watch me the entire time.  I didn’t mind one bit.
  I needed to watch him too. 

I ached in the best way as h
e dropped me off back at my apartment
the following morning.  The mood in the car was heavy, both of us wishing that things were different.
When he parked
, he started to speak, but I turned to him and brushed his cheek with my hand.

“Before you say anything, I have some things I want to say to you.  The first thing I want to say is thank you.  I love you Spencer, more than anyone in the world.  The things we’ve shared and done together in the last thirty days only made me love you more.  This was a month out of time, and I love that you gave me this.  I know you Spence, in some ways better than I know myself.  Thank you for staying open this month, for not pushing me away during the times you got scared.  I’m not stupid, and I know things are going to be different now as we adjust, but I also know that we’re closer than we were thirty days ago.
I’m always safe when I’m with you, always the best version of myself.
You make me happy Spencer, and I’ll always love you for sharing this with me.”

My heart broke for him, for both of us really, when I saw
a lone
tear escape from his eye.  I leaned forward and kissed it away, swallowing hard to hold in my own tears.  We sat in silence for a minute, forehead to forehead wh
ile he pulled himself together.

“You don’t ever need to thank me.  You’re the one that gave me the gift, and you don’t even know it.
I love your family Delilah, and I give thanks for them every day.  But I can’t deny that I’ve al
ways loved you best, and
I always will.  You’re the only person in my entire life that ever chose me.  Not because we had fucked up parents and we needed each other to survive, not because we went to the same school, not even because of proximity. You chose me before you knew anything about me.  You see what’s fucked up in me
,
and you love me in spite of that, and I know for damn sure you’re the only girl I’m ever going to love.  I know I have to let you go now, need to let you spread your wings, but I’m always here baby.  I’d crawl through a
four-alarm
fire to get to you
Delilah, and I wouldn’t care if I got burned
.  You only ever need to tell me you need me and I’m there.  Truth is, a lot of times I’m going to be there whether you indicate you need me to be or not.
I’m going to try my hardest to not be an overbearing ass, but I can’t promise.
”