Loving Bella (8 page)

Realizing his answer was important to her, and not quite understanding how he knew or why, he nodded slowly, never taking his eyes off her stricken face. “Sometimes.”

“Oh.” Her voice came out steady enough, but anguish was written all over her features.

If the question of a young girl’s innocence could distress the woman this much, what would happen when she actually followed Shane upstairs and witnessed the ugly realities of life in a brothel?

She thought playing the part of a doomed courtesan gave her an understanding of the world inside these walls. But there was no glamour to be found here.

And suddenly, as sure as he knew his own name, Shane didn’t want to subject this fine, Christian woman to the dark world upstairs. Not yet.

In fact, he
never
wanted to watch this bright, young opera singer lose her innocence simply because she agreed to assist him when no one else had the courage or the character.

For some inexplicable reason, Shane desperately
needed Miss O’Toole to keep her fantasies intact. He needed to believe there were people who still had such illusions. And most of all, he needed physical proof that there were people living in this world free of pain, death and complicated life choices.

“Wait for me in the carriage,” he said in an unbending tone.

Her face took on the stubborn edge Shane was beginning to recognize. And dread.

“No.”

“Miss O’Toole—”

“I will not leave your side before I’ve had a chance to prove myself.
I will not.
”

Stunned at the relief her words brought him, Shane lifted a hand to her, dropped it just as quickly. This was not about him. “It is for your own good. You shouldn’t see—”

“Don’t do this. Please. Not now.” She placed a gentle, yet firm grip on his arm. “I promise you, I will be quite fine.”

And perhaps she would.

But would Shane?

M
uch to her shock and against all effort to the contrary, tears invaded Bella’s eyes. She would not buckle under Dr. Shane’s misguided attempt to protect her. She would
not.

Refusing to look at him until she had her emotions under control, Bella called upon the familiar breathing technique she used to calm her nerves. In. Out. In. Out.

In…

Out…

But no matter how slowly she breathed, she could not seem to get her thoughts under control. What if this man could see into her heart and know what was there? Hadn’t he said he knew the young girl was innocent? Could he also know Bella was not, at least not in her heart?

Still a bit unsteady, she continued breathing deeply. She was being ridiculous. It didn’t matter what Dr. Shane thought of her. God had given her this chance to atone for her sin with William.

The urge to wrap her fingers around the locket came strong, but Bella balled her hand into a tight fist and cast a quick glance at Dr. Shane.

He appeared lost in his own thoughts, looking toward the ceiling with grave interest.

Perhaps he was impatient to begin his day.

Or maybe there was something else on his mind.

Before Bella could contemplate further, the beautiful child returned.

“I am to tell you to proceed directly to Miss Lizzie’s room. My…” She let her words trail off, cringing with obvious embarrassment at some unplanned slip of the tongue. “That is,
Miss Silks
said she will join you in a moment.”

The doctor nodded. “Thank you, Miss…”

“Annabeth.”

His lips cracked into a smile. Warm. Accessible. The man certainly had his share of charm.

“Thank you, Miss Annabeth,” he said. “You may tell Mattie that I’ve set off for Lizzie’s room with my new assistant in tow.”

Smiling at his choice of words, Bella followed her employer through a pair of swinging doors. She glanced over her shoulder in time to witness Annabeth retreating in the opposite direction.

Bella paused. “I wonder why she isn’t at Charity House with other young girls her age.”

“That’s a question I plan to ask Mattie as soon as the opportunity arises,” he ground out.

Understanding his frustration, Bella remained si
lent as they made their way through the lower level of the brothel.

A sickening dread crept through her stomach but she refused to flinch, not at the hideous decor or the stale odor of cigar smoke mingled with cheap perfume.

In truth, the interior wasn’t as bad as she’d expected.

It was worse.
Much worse.

Bella had never seen such an ill-staged setting, not even in her early days of playing smaller, seedier venues. The gaudy red-velvet furniture stood in stark contrast to the gold filigree wallpaper, lamps and tables. A trio of fake-looking Oriental rugs covered the wood flooring. Vulgar paintings hung on the walls, their bold colors and shocking themes made Bella think she was walking inside a cliché.

Really, Miss Silks, must you be so obvious?

More disturbed than she cared to admit, Bella inched closer to the doctor, nearly nipping his heels with her toes.

A winding staircase took them upstairs to a long hallway with five doors along both walls. The carpet on this floor was much shabbier, a floral print long since faded.

There was a sense of neglect up here, as though the madam had spent her time, effort and money decorating the lower level—for what it was worth.

But how had Miss Silks decorated the individual rooms?

Bella had her answer as soon as the doctor opened the third door on their right.

The smell hit her first. Musty, sour, rank. As she
closed the door behind them, she decided she actually missed the rancid back alleyway. Rats and all.

Squinting into the darkened room, she waited for her vision to clear before stepping forward. The ragged curtains and threadbare furnishings brought one word to mind.
Forgotten.

Dr. Shane set his bag on a chair near the bed and began unbuttoning his coat.

Bella did the same.

“Good morning, Lizzie,” he said in a low voice, placing his coat across the foot of the bed.

Setting her coat next to Dr. Shane’s, Bella followed his gaze to the shriveled, pale form lying in the large bed in the center of the room.

While the doctor rummaged in his bag, Bella studied the poor woman. It was impossible to determine her age. Her long, black hair hung in dirty tangles and her face was pinched into a grimace of pain.

Much as the downstairs looked like a poorly constructed theater set, Lizzie looked like an actress bent on playing herself yet failing to bring genuine enthusiasm to the role.

A wave of sympathy crested. Bella couldn’t take her eyes off the pitiful sight of the worn-out woman.

Unaware of her morbid fascination, Dr. Shane wrapped a stethoscope around his neck and pivoted back to his patient. With practiced movements, he took Lizzie’s limp hand in his and pressed two fingers against her wrist. After a minute, he released her and touched her brow.

Riveted, Bella stared at the doctor’s fingers as they made a rhythmic sweep across Lizzie’s forehead. The elegant gesture reminded Bella of an artist’s expert stroke across a canvas.

And yet, it was the compassion in his manner that struck the strongest chord within her. Bella stood in awe. What depth of character he had, to look past the sin and straight into this poor woman’s tortured heart.

This man was a true model of Christian integrity.

“How are you feeling today?” he asked his patient.

“Not so good,” she croaked.

He patted her hand. “We’ll try to make it better.”

His tone was so gentle, so patient, Bella nearly wept. She desperately wanted someone—anyone—
him
—to show her that same careful consideration.

If only she could leave her memories of William behind. Perhaps then…

Then, what?

What did she want from Dr. Shane?

As though sensing her inspection, he turned his gaze to meet hers. But his eyes were filled with an inner sadness, not curiosity.

At the sight of his unguarded despair, Bella’s thoughts of herself disappeared. She had a compelling urge to rush to him, to ease his pain somehow.

Just as she moved forward, Lizzie began coughing. Bella switched directions.

Acting on pure instinct, she moved in behind Lizzie and lifted her head to a less awkward angle. “There, now,” she soothed. “Take your time.”

She continued to speak softly, practically chattering, until she sensed the doctor watching her again.

Compelled by some silent nudge inside her, she lifted her gaze to his and found that his eyes were no longer sad. They were filled with a mixture of surprise and gratitude.

Her breath backed up in her lungs.

No theater review had ever brought such instant pleasure.

Without a word, he handed her a clean handkerchief and cocked his head toward Lizzie. Understanding his silent command, Bella placed the cloth against the woman’s lips and wiped.

“You poor dear,” she whispered, never taking her eyes off the doctor.

He held her stare, silent a moment, and then stepped forward. “I’ll take it from here.”

Nodding, Bella lowered Lizzie’s head to the pillow and moved out of his way.

He reached out and squeezed her hand as she passed by him. “Thank you.”

Choked with emotion, she simply nodded.

In that moment, Bella realized why he had brought her to the brothel first thing this morning. He hadn’t wanted to test her, rather he’d wanted to warn her that this job would be hard, both physically and emotionally, and it would require a level of courage Bella wasn’t sure she had.

Just then, Jesus’s words to his disciples came to mind.
I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me.

This work was vastly important for the Kingdom. And Dr. Shane had asked her to share in it with him.

Her very soul trembled at the implication.

Singing opera might have brought a moment’s enjoyment to others, perhaps even a brief respite in a complicated world, but this—this caring for the sick—was infinitely more significant than memorizing an aria or hitting a difficult note.

“Miss O’Toole, would you be so kind as to hand me the elixir in the clear bottle on your left?”

Determined to prove herself invaluable, she fixed her mind on the task at hand. “Of course.”

Just as she made her way around the bed, the door swung open with a bang.

Bella spun around at the noise.

“What is the meaning of this outrage?” said an angry female voice from the shadows.

Dr. Shane blew out a frustrated breath and cast his gaze to the heavens. “Not now. Please, Lord, not now.”

He quickly lowered his head and shot Bella a pained expression. “Brace yourself.”

With another deep inhale, he swiveled toward the woman who now stood silhouetted in the dim lighting from the hallway.

“Miss Silks,” he began with forced patience. “I am attending Lizzie at the moment. Please be so kind as to wait outside until I call for you.”

In spite of the doctor’s request, the woman swept boldly into the room. Each step she took was calculated, carefully placed and used for absolute effect. Bella
should know. She’d trained for years to avoid making such an obvious entrance.

Dr. Shane muttered something under his breath, but Bella was too busy watching Mattie Silks to decipher his meaning.

With her gold satin dress, matching gloves and over-tight bodice, the woman was a complete caricature of herself. She might have been a great beauty once, but the icy glare, unnatural blond hair and overplucked eyebrows made her look hard now, almost manly.

Her sharp gaze arced through the room, halted a moment on the ill woman in the bed. Bella thought she saw a show of compassion in the depths of those inflexible blue eyes but the moment passed and Bella found herself on the receiving end of an unbending glare.

Well, Bella had spent too many years fighting her way to the top of her profession to let an amateur intimidate her with such transparent tactics.

Slanting her own challenging glance in the woman’s direction, Bella drew herself to her full height and locked gazes with the surly madam.

Mattie bristled.

Bella smiled. Sweetly.

Wrathful sparks flew between them like sabers.

“Who are you?” Mattie demanded. Her voice came out gravelly, as though she had only just awakened from a fitful sleep or had yet to go to bed for the night.

Judging from the attire, Bella decided on the latter.

She also decided the rude question warranted no response from her.

“I asked you a question, girl.”

Casting himself in the role of protector—the dear man—Dr. Shane released a low growl, moved around the bed and positioned his large body between Bella and the indignant madam.

“This is my new assistant,” he said, gently shifting Bella farther behind him. “And I would ask you not to bother her as she is in the midst of performing duties for me.”

He was playing his part to perfection, all the way down to the fierce scowl on his face. How…sweet.

And completely unnecessary.

Squaring her shoulders, Bella brushed around her gentle lion.

“I assure you, I am only here to assist Dr. Shane in his daily tasks, Miss Silks. Nothing more.” Might as well make
that
perfectly clear.

Mattie ran her gaze all the way down to Bella’s toes and back up, stopping at a few spots along the way on the return journey.

“That hideous attire does not fool me.” Mattie waved a hand between them. “You are no nurse. And you look familiar. Did Emma Bradley send you?”

Bella cocked her head at the odd direction of their conversation. “Emma who?”

“Don’t play ignorant.” Mattie pointed a finger at Bella and shook it. “Emma Bradley is my fiercest competitor, as you well know.”

Lizzie chose that moment to cough up a lung.

Bella made a face at the madam and quickly rushed
to attend her patient. As she’d done before, she moved in behind the sick woman and lifted her thin shoulders off the bed.

Concern written on his face, Dr. Shane touched Lizzie’s forehead with his fingertips. “She’s hot.”

“Is that normal?” Bella asked.

He gave a slight, almost imperceptible shake of his head. But when he spoke he used the calm baritone she was beginning to think of as his “doctor” voice. “Don’t worry, Lizzie. I have some medicine that will ease your suffering.”

The moment he stepped back, Mattie Silks rushed forward. She grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn until he was facing her again.

“I demand to know who this girl is.” She narrowed her eyes at Bella like a woman plotting murder. “Tell me now, or I’ll have Jack throw the both of you out on your ears.”

Dr. Shane ignored the verbal threat and simply shook his head at the obnoxious woman. “Mattie, as usual, you’re overreacting. Miss Bella is my assistant.” His lips pulled into a mocking grin. “And since you asked so nicely, her full name is Isabella Constance…
O’Toole.
”

“O’Toole?” Her eyes flicked over Bella in disbelief. “As in Beauregard O’Toole?”

“Correct. My assistant is the reverend’s sister.”

Mattie tapped a finger against her chin. “His sister, you say?”

Dr. Shane blessed her with a mild shrug, as though he had all the time in the world to prove his point.

Still tapping her chin, Mattie studied Bella through narrowed eyelids.

“Well, then. That’s
new
information.” She heaved a dramatic sigh and waved a dismissive gesture in Bella’s general direction. “Carry on.”

Without further comment, Mattie Silks spun on her heel and left the room.

Bella blinked at the spot the infamous madam had previously occupied. “What just happened?”

“Mattie Silks happened,” came the doctor’s droll response.

She turned her head to look at him. For a moment, they simply stared at one another in silent camaraderie.

“Is that right,” she said at last.