Loving Bella (17 page)

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Authors: Renee Ryan

BOOK: Loving Bella
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When she arrived at the front, Beau reached for her hand and gave her a triumphant smile full of brotherly love.

Feeling more confident, Bella turned to face the congregation. And then, in an attempt to gain the sisterly upper hand, she muttered a warning. “I will kill you for this.”

“You’re welcome to try.”

“Don’t think I won’t.”

Taking a deep breath, her gaze landed on Hannah’s face. Tears spiked her sister-in-law’s lashes. Tears of joy, tears of understanding.

Bella swallowed.

Hannah gripped Mavis’s hand tightly and the two nodded at Bella with approval. It was the same look she’d seen in Shane’s eyes when he’d encouraged her to accept her brother’s challenge.

Refusing to look at any more faces, Bella began singing “Amazing Grace.” The words flowed out of her memory, out of her soul. And with the declaration of her sinful nature, a sense of well-being filled her.

No more shame. No more guilt. Just a strong desire for repentance.

Shane’s words returned to her. Temptation is not the same as sin. Her flesh had been tempted, but Bella had remained obedient to God.

All this time, she had thought she carried the burn of a scar, but she had learned from weeks as Shane’s assistant that scars did not come with pain. Only wounds.

She needed to allow God to heal her wound.

And the process began with confession.

When she came to the last stanza she locked her gaze with Shane. His eyes were intense, unblinking and full of awe.

She held his stare and a tear slipped from her eye. Followed by another. After the third, she gave in and allowed the rest to flow down her cheeks.

She sang the last note and a hush came over the crowd. Through her blurred vision, she looked at their faces. Tears flowed from many of their eyes.

Before she could escape, Beau gripped her in a bear hug. “Well done, Bella. Well done.”

“Thank you, Beau,” she said softly.

He held a moment longer then released her. “Go back to Shane now.”

As Bella made her way down the aisle, her heart felt too big for her chest.
Go back to Shane now.

She smiled at him with a blush rising in her cheeks. Knowing this man had changed her. And because of him, she no longer wanted to grasp at the past.

Once settled in their pew, she lowered her head, reached up and released the clasp of William’s necklace. She balled the locket in her fist and looked back into Shane’s eyes.

He blinked at her, lowered his gaze to her hand.

She said nothing, simply set the necklace on the floor and kicked it gently under the pew ahead of her.

Her hand felt light, empty. Until Shane reached out and placed his palm against hers, right in the spot the necklace had occupied earlier.

A sigh lifted from deep within her. She looked into his eyes and saw the forgiveness she’d been craving ever since she’d seen his stricken face in Mattie’s parlor.

With his acceptance, she’d taken her first step toward mending the wound William had inflicted on her heart. Now, she must turn to God and trust Him.

As she clung to Shane, fingers twined tightly with his, words were impossible and completely unnecessary. So they sat that way, hand in hand, for the rest of the service.

Chapter Seventeen

B
y the time Shane led Bella down the church steps, the early-morning breeze had built into a cold, raw wind. One sniff and he could smell the coming snow like a nasty threat. Not a good day for strolling. Thankfully, the Scott’s house was a block away.

Huddled inside her wool coat, Bella smiled up at him. Her rosy, wind-chapped cheeks peeked out from beneath her hat, making her look young and healthy. Returning her smile, Shane boldly took her hand in his.

Heads bent together against the wind, they trekked along in companionable silence. Looking up, Shane glanced at the great mountains in the distance. He loved the untamed beauty of the Rockies, but today the compelling scenery held no real interest for him.

He had other, more important, thoughts on his mind.

From the moment he’d escorted Bella into church, Shane had sensed a change between them, a subtle shift toward a daring new future together. When she’d taken
off the viscount’s necklace, Shane had pressed his hand into hers and had accepted the truth. He was in love with Bella O’Toole.

But what would come of it?

Heart pounding like the wild wind, Shane opened the Scotts’ backdoor and stepped aside so Bella could enter the mudroom first. Following closely behind her, a wave of enveloping warmth hit him as he shut the door behind them. Shrugging out of his coat, he helped Bella remove hers and then hung both garments on the wall hooks to his left.

Shane cleared his throat. “After dinner, perhaps we could talk?”

She pulled off her cap and her hair tumbled like a golden waterfall past her shoulders. “I’d like that.”

There was so much gratitude, so much relief in her eyes that he realized his initial reaction to her revelations yesterday had hurt her deeply.

He pushed at his hair, started to apologize but was cut off by a delighted squeal.

“Miss Bella!” Ethan Scott launched himself in the air.

Bella swiveled just in time to catch the boy mid-flight. “Oh. Oh, my.” Sounding a little breathless, she lifted the boy higher in her arms. “And how is my favorite four-year-old?”

Ethan’s face spread into a brilliant smile. “Happy, now that you’re here.”

“I’m glad to see you, too.” A shaft of sunlight streamed through the window behind her, glittering through her hair like polished gold.

Shane gulped. Looking at Bella O’Toole made his heart hurt.

Oblivious to everything except the woman holding him, Ethan patted her cheek with his palm. “Want to play checkers with me?”

Still smiling, she set the child on the ground and took his hand in hers. “I can’t think of a happier way to spend the afternoon.”

She looked back at Shane over her shoulder. “Would you mind?”

“I suppose I can spare you for a few minutes. You’ll take care of her for me?” He winked at the boy.

Ethan puffed out his little chest. “Of course.”

Tripping slightly as Ethan yanked her forward, Bella gave Shane an apologetic smile as she half trotted, half skipped behind her new friend.

At the look of pure adoration in the child’s eyes, Shane felt an odd twinge of jealousy. Which made no sense. The boy was nothing more than an infatuated child. Perfectly harmless.

Ashamed of himself, Shane inhaled the smell of a happy home.

He drew in another breath. Apple pie, meat, potatoes. Shane had smelled these same scents at Charity House often enough. But he couldn’t recall the welcoming scents in a single childhood memory. The aromas of his youth had been rotting fish, stale liquor, dirt and mold.

Here in Denver, Shane had found freedom from that life. But would his half sisters have a satisfying future,
as well? Would they survive under the impossible restrictions of their father’s will?

Yes, they would. Shane would see to it himself. Once he figured out a way around the stipulation. He had two days before Mr. Wilson returned. Unfortunately, he had yet to come up with a viable solution that would satisfy everyone involved.

Perhaps Bella had been right. He was thinking too hard, trying to figure out the solution on his own, instead of allowing God to take control.

Shane cast his glance heavenward and prayed for guidance.
Lord, You have the perfect answer. I pray You reveal it to me in the next two days.

Molly chose that moment to skip into the mudroom.

“Hi, Dr. Shane. Miss Bella told us you were out here.” She planted two tiny fists on narrow hips. “What ya doing staring up at the ceiling like that?” She craned her neck to follow his gaze. “I don’t see nothing up there.”

“You don’t see
anything
up there,” Katherine said from the doorway.

Molly pressed her lips into a grumpy line and scowled at her mother. “Do you have to correct me on Sunday, too?”

With affection in her eyes, Katherine tugged on her daughter’s braid. “I’m a schoolteacher, darling. It’s what I do.”

“Well. In that case.” Molly gave her a pointed look. “I’m going to find Papa.”

“He’s in his office,” Katherine offered without a hint of insult in her tone.

Molly darted off in the opposite direction. Katherine caught her by the sleeve. “And while you’re in there, please inform him Dr. Shane and Miss O’Toole have arrived,” she said before releasing her daughter.

Molly tossed a wave over her head.

Katherine sighed. “Honestly, that girl. She’s becoming more and more like her father every day. Rash, impetuous, stubborn.”

“And you wouldn’t have her any other way,” Shane reminded her.

Katherine grinned. “No, I wouldn’t.” She motioned him to join her. “Come in the kitchen with me. Let’s talk while I finish rolling out the biscuits.”

There was something in her eyes as she spoke, a female cunning that made Shane falter in his steps. Surely he was misreading her intentions. Her request was an innocent invitation to discuss the dismal weather.

He hoped.

With a bracing swallow, Shane entered the Scotts’ spacious kitchen just as Katherine rounded the large chopping block in the middle of the room.

“How’s Ethan’s leg healing?” he asked.

“Other than the scar, you wouldn’t know he’d been hurt at all.”

“No limping. No—”

“He’s fine, Shane.” She gave him a curious look, one he couldn’t fully decipher. “The wound has completely healed, just like you said it would.”

Unsure what that odd look in her eyes meant, Shane
pressed the issue. “Are you sure there’s no problem with the leg?”

“None.”

“Well, then. All right.”

Capturing a smile between her teeth, she placed her palms in a pile of flour, grabbed a hunk of dough and began kneading the lump. “Tell me, how’s your assistant fairing after the measles outbreak?”

The way Katherine said “your assistant” put Shane on his guard. Clearly, the woman was heading toward an uncomfortable topic, but not understanding her motive, Shane answered the question directly. “Miss O’Toole is handling her duties very well.”

“She’s been a blessing to you, then.”

“Yes.”

“Lovely.”

Shane didn’t like the smirk on Katherine’s lips. Every male instinct told him to leave. Get out, now, before he fumbled into a female trap. “What are you about, Katherine? Why all the questions?”

“Just confirming my suspicion.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Which is?”

“You’ve fallen in love with Miss O’Toole.”

“No.” He quickly responded. “I—”

“Oh, don’t deny it. I mean, really, why wouldn’t you? She’s smart, beautiful and has the voice of a songbird. Clearly, she feels the same toward you. It’s in the way she looks at you.” Katherine pointed a finger in the air near her own eyes.

Pride, temper, a hundred other messy emotions had
him speaking his greatest fear aloud. “I think she might still be in love with another man, a man she left behind in London.”

Katherine’s eyes widened and her hands stilled over the dough. “Oh.” She looked into his eyes a moment longer, and then shook her head. “No. That’s not true. You’re mistaken.”

How could she be so certain? And who was she to have this conversation with him?

“I won’t speak about this with you, Katherine. It’s not appropriate.” His tone took on a harder edge than he’d planned. But in his haste to end the conversation, he’d revealed too much, said too much. And he couldn’t take back the words now that they’d been spoken aloud.

“If you won’t discuss this with me, then with whom? Lest you forget, doctor, you once proposed to me.”

A direct hit. A sucker punch straight at his gut. “That was a long time ago. And lest
you
forget, you turned me down.”

She held his stare.

Shane turned away. Where were the others? Why had they left him alone with Katherine and her incessant questions?

“I wasn’t in love with you, Shane,” she added. “And you certainly weren’t in love with me.”

Cringing, Shane knew where she was going now. And he didn’t want to dredge up ancient history. “That was a different time, Katherine, a different situation. Molly had just been in a fistfight defending your honor. You were both facing real scandal. The talk had to be
stopped before Molly got hurt any more than she already had.”

Katherine flicked her wrist at his feeble attempt to defend himself. “I didn’t care about the talk. With my mother an infamous madam, I’d faced scandal all my life.”

“My offer wasn’t solely about you.” Shane crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. “I wanted to spare Molly a childhood of whispers. She deserved better than that.
Every
child deserves better than that.”

Sighing, Katherine grabbed a towel and wiped the dough off her palms. “Don’t misunderstand me. I thought your gesture was sweet.”

There had been nothing sweet about his motives at the time. He’d have done anything to prevent an innocent child from living the life he’d suffered. Agitated now, Shane tapped the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“Do you remember what else I told you that day?”

Tap. Tap, tap, tap.
“Go on, Katherine, have your say and be done with it.”

She shot him a triumphant smile. “I told you that one day you would fall in love and understand why I had to refuse your offer.”

Spreading his feet apart, Shane lowered his arms to his sides. “All right. Let’s go with your logic for a moment.”

She cast a glance to the heavens. “At last.”

He ignored her rude outburst. “You refused my proposal because you were in love with another man. Correct?”

Eyes wary, she inclined her head. “I don’t think I like your tone.”

“You were right.”

That caught her unaware. “I…I was?”

“Yes.” He clenched his teeth a moment, then relaxed his jaw. “And I promise you this. I will never again make an offer of marriage to a woman who is pining for another man.”

He had more pride than that.

Unfortunately, Katherine seemed unimpressed with his declaration. “Oh, now I understand. Because you think there’s someone else back in London, you won’t pursue Miss O’Toole for yourself.”

“Correct.” And that should have been the end of it. Except he was conversing with a female, one who liked to talk a subject to death.

“He isn’t here, is he?”

Stunned by her boldness, Shane looked at her, blinking hard. Where was she going with this new line of questioning? “No, he’s not,” he said carefully.

“Well, then, fight for her.”

Fight for her?
The outrageous idea staggered him and he took a step back.

What if Shane did what Katherine suggested and ultimately failed to win Bella’s heart? But what if he failed because he didn’t even try?

Heavy in thought, he walked to the window overlooking the Scotts’ backyard. Eyes blind to the fierce storm brewing outside, he pondered Katherine’s suggestion.

Fight for her…

Laughing loudly, Trey and Molly sauntered into the kitchen.

Shane cut off his thoughts and spun around to face the newcomers. Trey’s gaze connected with Shane’s and his eyes narrowed to small slits. Grimacing, he turned to his wife. “What did you do to him?”

Lifting a shoulder, she went back to kneading her dough as though they’d been talking about nothing more important than the weather. The woman had gumption, Shane would give her that.

“Katherine?” Trey urged.

“I didn’t do anything to him,” she murmured.

“Katherine, darling, the poor man looks poleaxed.”

She jerked her chin at him. “Oh, all right, I may have pointed out an error or two in his thinking.”

Trey clicked his tongue at her. “We had this discussion. You promised no meddling.”

“I did no such thing.”

“You didn’t promise, or you didn’t meddle?”

Shane’s question precisely.

Grimacing, she pounded her fists into the dough but she kept her lips pressed tightly together.

Trey shook his head at his impossible wife, kissed her straight on the lips then turned back to Shane.

“Come on, my friend. I’m no authority but from that hunted look in your eyes I’d say you were a man on the verge of escape. Oh, wait.” He tapped a finger against his badge. “I
am
an authority on such matters.”

“Marshal Scott to the rescue,” Shane muttered, only half-joking as he followed hard on the other man’s heels.

 

Later that afternoon, Bella walked silently next to Shane as he escorted her to Hannah and Beau’s home. Since the distance between the two houses was only a few short blocks, she decided to enjoy every moment of their time together.

The air was cold and pure, but the threat of heavy snow had passed with the clouds an hour ago. Smiling, she cast her gaze to the clear heavens. She’d never imagined a sky could look that blue.

Lowering her head, she eyed the mansions on her left. The thin blanket of snow on the lawns gave her a sense of homecoming. Bella O’Toole had finally arrived where she belonged.

And, wonder of wonders, there was no stage in sight.

In the last few weeks, something had changed inside her. Something remarkable. It had started with this man walking solemnly beside her and, of course, with his job offer.

She’d always thought of herself as an opera singer. Nothing more and certainly nothing less. But now, she realized how shallow her life had become. Traveling from role to role, she’d grown obsessed with her craft, and had unconsciously turned her art into her idol. She had put her career ahead of her Heavenly Father.

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