Loving (28 page)

“I know the view.” She didn’t flinch, didn’t even look toward the window. “I worked on the deck. Remember.”

He was losing ground. “Bailey …” He felt himself breathing just a little harder. He could fight this, but he’d need a miracle without her help.

Then almost as quickly as desire had seized the moment, Brandon watched Bailey’s intentions shift, watched the rock-solid faith inside her rise to the surface. “Sorry.” Her voice was barely audible, her smile more empathetic. She stood and stepped back, drawing a deep breath. “The important thing is,
we
haven’t seen the view. Together.” Her switch to innocent was beyond adorable. On her way out she looked back at him. “It’s amazing out here. Come watch the sunset on the water.”

Brandon exhaled and took hold of the bedpost as his resolve returned in full. Moments like this had to be avoided. He hadn’t seen how quickly temptation could hit, but he would be smarter next time. No more bedrooms for them until after the wedding.

Bailey had left the door open, and once he was out on the deck he shut it behind them. Out back the view was familiar for both of them, but even fifty years from now he knew it wouldn’t get old. They stood side by side, facing the water through the trees and staring at the setting sunlight against the lake. “So pretty.” Bailey turned to him and smiled. “This is really ours?”

He only watched her, grateful again to be outside, to have
avoided a scene they both would have regretted. “You’re beautiful. Do I tell you enough?”

“You do.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and looked at the view again. “It’s so easy to think out here. Like I could sit on this deck and write a novel if I wanted to.”

“Which you might want to someday.” He nudged her, playing with her the way he loved to do. “I’ve probably given you enough material for a series.”

Her laughter sounded wonderful. “Definitely.”

For a while he didn’t say anything, but then something hit him. He still hadn’t finished telling her his own story, the one he’d started that day at the airport when she left for Indiana. The part of his story he’d remembered in detail on his Malibu back deck before turning down the contract. “Remember at the airport, how I told you God brought you into my life at the right time. How I’d been through a dark period four years ago?”

“Yes.” She turned and leaned her hip against the railing so she could see him. “You said God used me to help you believe you’d done the right thing.” She angled her head, studying him. “You didn’t give me details.” She touched her hand to his cheek lightly. “Tell me.”

“It won’t be easy.” He hadn’t told anyone this. “But I want you to know. I planned on telling you sometime.”

He took hold of her hands as he drew a full breath. “You know the beginning, how I felt about my parents before I moved to LA.”

“Yes.” Her eyes were kind, compassionate. The way they’d been that first day at Lake Monroe Beach. “You must’ve felt very alone.”

“I did. I mean, the success happened so quickly and I was pulled toward things I never would’ve dreamed of doing.”

Slowly, with a sort of relaxed inevitability, he told her about the one particular party. “I did things I wasn’t proud of. It was a low moment in my life.” He smiled, but he felt the sadness in his
face. “I knew right from wrong. And after that night, I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel good about myself again.”

He told her how he’d come home and stared at the sleeping pills, and how he’d poured half the bottle into the open palm of his hand, and how the doorbell had stopped him. “That delivery from my uncle … it was the only reason I stopped long enough to think about what I was doing.” He stared out at the water, letting the reality settle. When he looked back at her, she had tears in her eyes.

“I’m sorry. That’s terrible.”

Brandon nodded. “I figured someone must’ve been praying for me. Not my uncle, because he wasn’t a Christian back then. But someone, somewhere. Because without the miracle of that doorbell, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Baby, that scares me.” She hugged him for a long time and when she slipped back to her spot against the railing, she shivered a little. “How long ago was it? Four years?”

“Longer now.” He didn’t hesitate. “I know the date. I’ll never forget it. February sixth of 2007. The day God saved my life.”

Her reaction started in her eyes. They grew wide, almost fearful, and her expression became a picture of disbelief. “When?”

“Bailey, what’s wrong?” He took a step closer and put his arms around her waist, steadying her. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“Did you say … February sixth … 2007?” She searched his face, her shock getting even stronger.

“Yeah. Bailey … what?” He hadn’t expected the date to stop her cold like this. The rest of the story was more compelling than the actual date. “Is that someone’s birthday or something?”

“I can’t tell you.” She shook her head and moved toward the other sliding door, the one that led into the kitchen. “I have to show you. It’s at my house.”

Brandon had no idea what was going on. She’d never acted
like this, but whatever she had to show him, it seemed vitally important.

She found her purse on the table and they returned to his Acura. On the drive home they listened to his playlist again, but Bailey didn’t sing or say anything. But every few seconds she dabbed at a tear sliding down her cheek. Whatever it was, why that date held significance for her, the reasons were deeply emotional. Clearly.

At her house she told him she’d be right back, then she ran upstairs and returned a minute later. In her hand she held something that looked like a journal. “Come out back. I have to show you.” Her face still looked serious, the moment obviously profound.

Brandon followed her out back to a glider swing where they sat together. “I’ve never seen you so serious. This is about the date, right?”

She was flipping through pages almost frantically and then she stopped and held her spot. “Yes. It’s about the date.” She looked deep into his soul. “That same year, one particular night, I was feeling lonely and confused, not sure about the plans God had for me. I knew they were good plans.” She smiled, the first time since he’d brought up the date of his near suicide attempt. “But I couldn’t see proof in front of me. My dreams of dancing were up in the air, things weren’t working out with Tim Reed, and Cody was away at war.” She kept her pace even, her tone still more intense than usual. “My mom told me if I was doubting the plans God had for me in any way, and if I was feeling lonely, I should write a letter to my future husband.” She smiled. “Which I did many times back then.”

“Thank you.” He kept his grin on the light side, allowing a little laughter into the moment.

But Bailey grew serious again right away. “But there was this one time when I felt compelled — absolutely driven — to pray for
him. He was out there somewhere, and I felt God pressing it on my heart to pray as strongly as possible for him, because wherever he was, at that moment he was in grave danger. That’s how I felt, and that’s how I prayed.”

A slight chill came over him and suddenly his attempts at humor fell away. “Go on.”

“I’ll always remember, because that day — I found out later — Cody Coleman was at war in a battle for his life. He should’ve died, but God gave him a miracle.”

“That same day? When you felt God urging you to pray for your future husband?”

“Yes.” She frowned a little. “I think that’s why I held on to the idea of him for so long. Because when I found out about the battle and Cody’s rescue, and how it all lined up on that day, I thought God was giving me a message.”

Brandon didn’t feel threatened by the news. “I get that.”

“Even when I moved back here, I found this page in my journal and wondered about it. Like maybe I hadn’t heard God right, or maybe I was supposed to pray for Cody just because. Nothing to do with him being my future husband.”

“That could be it.”

“No.” She shook her head and the hint of a smile played in her eyes. “That’s not it. This is completely crazy, Brandon. I mean it.” She handed him the journal. “Here. See for yourself.”

He didn’t try to imagine what was on the page, because there was no telling. But he took the journal and it fell open to the spot where her thumb still marked the entry. She drew her hand back. “Read the date at the top of the page.”

Brandon’s eyes found the place and then, like a giant wave crashing in around him, the reality hit. No wonder Bailey had acted so strangely … no wonder she’d quietly cried the whole way home. Because the words at the top of her journal page were absolute proof that he’d been right. Someone had been praying
for him, and that someone was Bailey Flanigan. She had been praying fervently for her future husband at the very hour of what could’ve been his death. Brandon knew all of this in an instant for one reason.

The date at the top of the journal page read February 6, 2007.

B
AILEY HAD NEVER BEEN SO BUSY IN HER LIFE.
O
N TOP OF THE
wedding plans, the deal had closed for her purchase of CKT. There had been time to add Brandon’s name to the transaction, but he didn’t think it was necessary. “It’s your passion … you earned the money to buy it.” He had told her that every time the subject came up. “It’ll feel good to know you did it on your own. Just you and God.”

He was right. She was able to put half the money down, and with her business plan, the payments on the balance would be very affordable. Yes, if she asked him, Brandon would’ve paid cash for the whole thing. The money he had in savings and investments from his films and endorsements over the last five years was more than they would spend in their lifetime.

But with God leading, work was supposed to be more than a way to make money. She’d heard their pastor say that Christians should set out to be missionaries whatever their career choice. Missionaries on a bus or in a classroom or at a doctor’s office. Bailey agreed fully. She couldn’t wait to be a missionary with the kids from CKT. The way Katy Hart Matthews had been for Bailey and Connor and their friends so many years ago.

Between the purchase of the theater and the wedding plans, the holidays flew by and the New Year began with one of the most severe blizzards Indiana had ever seen. Their lake house was clean by then and ready for them to move their things in, but during the storm Brandon lived in the Flanigans’ guest room
over the garage. The drive out to the lake was impossible under the mountain of snow.

During that time and since then she and Brandon met with her parents to work through a Bible study for couples, a study called One-in-a-Million with a section devoted to guys and another for girls, and finally one that presented questions and scenarios every couple should look hard at before getting married.

The rough spots during the study were nothing that threatened their relationship, but when the conversation turned to his parents, Brandon grew quiet. “I still need to call them. It’s worse now that Bailey made the first move.”

“I wasn’t trying to make things worse.”

“I know, baby.” He took her hand in his. “It’s my fault. I need to contact them.”

Bailey’s dad had finally found a way to reach Brandon. “If your parents died in a car accident tomorrow, would you have regrets?” His voice was kind but firm, and Bailey admired him as she had so often over her lifetime. His direct and loving approach was what made him such a great coach.

Brandon had let the question settle and after several seconds his eyes filled with tears. “Yes. I’d regret that.”

“Well, then …” Her dad gave a look that said there were no options here. “Looks like you need to call them.”

Before the snowstorm let up, Brandon did just that. The conversation between them was brief and hesitant, but they made a plan for his parents to drive in for the weekend. They lived ten hours away, and they preferred the drive over flying. Bailey was with Brandon the day they arrived at the lake house.

Together they walked out onto the porch and watched his parents’ car pull into the driveway.
Protect this moment, please, God
. Bailey kept her prayers silent, willing the next few seconds to go well.

“I can’t believe this,” Brandon muttered. His teeth chattered, and he shivered beside her. “It’s been so long.”

His father was driving, and he parked not far from the porch. Already both their eyes were on Brandon. They stepped out of the car slowly and for a long time none of them made a move. Not Brandon or his parents, and certainly not Bailey.

Then, slowly at first, Brandon began to make his way to his mother. She held out her arms, tears streaming down her face. “Brandon …”

“Mom.” He jogged the last few steps and wrapped her into a full hug, an embrace that lasted long enough to ease years of hurt.

Even from where she stood, wiping at her eyes, Bailey heard his mother’s next words. She put her hand alongside Brandon’s face and in a voice broken by years of regret she said, “Can you ever forgive me?”

Brandon was silently crying too hard to speak. His shoulders shook as he nodded and hugged her again.

By then his father had made his way around to that side of the car. The man’s eyes were dry, but shame colored everything about him – the slow way he walked and the deep lines on his face. “Son.” It was all he seemed to be able to say and then he, too, took Brandon in his arms and held on tight.

As if he might fall to his death if he let go.

Thank you, God …
Bailey wiped away her tears. The moment, the weekend, all of it was exactly what Brandon and his parents needed to find forgiveness and the first steps toward healing.

By the end of January the wedding party was decided, and Bailey had found dresses for her bridesmaids. She had called Andi and asked her to be the maid of honor. Andi couldn’t speak for several seconds, and when she did her voice held a mix of laughter and tears. “I can’t believe this. I’m honored, Bailey. Really.”

Andi and Cody were still dating — more seriously than before. Bailey and Brandon had talked about the fact that if Andi
was her maid of honor, most likely Cody would be her date. But at this point they were both fine with that. For the most part, Bailey had been too busy to give the reality much thought.

The rest of the bridesmaids were four of Bailey’s church friends and Katy Hart Matthews — whose little boy was already almost five months old. Brandon asked Dayne to be his best man and Bailey’s five brothers to be groomsmen. Ashley and Landon’s son Devin would be their ring bearer, and Katy and Dayne’s daughter, Sophie, would be the most adorable flower girl.

Eventually as things fell into place, the idea of Cody being at the wedding became the center of conversation for one of their premarital counseling studies. The question was one worth discussing. Could couples who had once dated be friends afterwards, and could they be guests at each other’s weddings? Bailey’s parents didn’t have a strong opinion on the issue.

“Every situation is different. I could share a few guidelines according to the book, and from experience,” Bailey’s mom started the talk. “First, the former couple shouldn’t talk about the past when they’re together. Whether they were mostly friends or more than friends, the past was a time they shared exclusive to the new guy or girl in the picture. It can feel very divisive to sit around with an old girlfriend or boyfriend, even an old friend, and just reminisce about yesterday.”

Bailey nodded. “That makes sense.”

“I guess the issue is whether Cody should be at the wedding. Since invitations should go out in a couple weeks.” Brandon leaned forward, his forearms on his knees, hands linked. His eyes were on Bailey’s dad, whom he had come to trust in these conversations and counseling sessions. “I mean, is that sort of weird?”

“How do you feel about it?” Her dad’s compassion was evident. “It’s your wedding.” He turned to Bailey. “And what about you, honey? Would it be weird?”

The question wasn’t an easy one. Bailey felt like a different
person from the girl she’d been back when she had feelings for Cody. “It makes sense, especially since he’d be Andi’s date.”

“Good point.” Bailey’s mom nodded. “That makes a difference.”

“But what about you?” Her dad turned the conversation back to Brandon, who still hadn’t answered.

“It really doesn’t bother me.” He straightened and caught Bailey’s eyes. The love she saw there eased any concerns she might have had. He smiled at her parents. “Cody had his chance. He and Bailey weren’t right together. And now he’s happy with Andi. He’d be her date, like Bailey said.”

“I’m okay with that. Really.” Bailey gave a look that said she could make a case either way — including him or not having him at the wedding at all. “He’s happy for me, that I’m getting married. It’s not like he still texts me all the time or ever tries to come between me and Brandon.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I mean, Cody was the one who told me to call Brandon after I left LA.”

In the end they decided Cody would be invited. None of them saw any concerns that Cody’s attention would be anywhere but on Andi, the girl he loved. Yes, Cody and Bailey had a past and there was something bittersweet about that. But even more, they had been friends. Family, practically. If everyone could handle the situation, and since he was so serious with Andi, it was fitting that Cody be at the wedding.

By the middle of February every detail for the big day was in place and Bailey’s wedding dress had come in to the boutique. She and her mom went for a quick fitting, and other than a few adjustments, the gown was ready to go. They had finished arrangements with the florist and the DJ and the last-minute wedding planner, a friend of her mom’s who worked weddings on the side. She’d come in for the final month to call vendors they had contracts with and oversee the execution of the various details.

Before she knew where the time had gone it was the third
Saturday in February and Bailey and her mom were driving back from the airport with Andi and headed to the bridal shower at Ashley Baxter Blake’s house. The party was a more intimate gathering. The Baxter women — Ashley, of course, and her sisters Kari, Brooke, and Erin. Also Luke’s wife, Reagan Baxter, and their step-mother, Elaine. Her bridesmaids would all be there, since Katy had flown in with Dayne a few days ago to direct the donation of furniture from the lake house garage. Brandon’s mother had declined the invitation. Her husband had been sick lately, so she wanted to tend to him. But she called Bailey and said she’d be praying that the day was special. “God willing, we’ll be at the wedding.”

As they pulled into the driveway of the old Baxter farmhouse, Andi shivered. “I should’ve brought my coat. I forgot how cold Indiana winters are.”

“You missed the storm.” Bailey looked over her shoulder at the backseat where Andi was sitting. “Snow was halfway up our front door. Seriously.”

Andi laughed. “I’ll take LA.”

“So you like it there? Enough to stay?” Bailey’s mom hadn’t caught up with Andi in a while. Bailey already knew her friend’s answer.

“Yes. I love it, actually. It’s warm every day and there’s tons going on. The movie opportunities are everywhere and I can go to the beach whenever I want.”

“Wow … you sound like you work for the tourism board.” Bailey laughed. “I wonder if I would’ve felt different about it if it weren’t so … well, you know.”

“You mean if you weren’t being hounded by paparazzi every minute.” Andi sounded frustrated by the fact. “Uh, yes. You would feel a whole lot differently about it.”

Bailey wondered. She loved Bloomington and at this moment
she was sure she’d choose it with its snow and freezing Februarys, even if no tabloid in Los Angeles ever wanted her picture again.

They parked and Bailey’s mom turned to Andi before opening her door. “Reagan will be here. She’ll have little Johnny.”

Andi’s expression didn’t change. “I know. I’ve been talking to Bailey about it, and Reagan and I talked yesterday. She’s glad I’ll have the chance to meet him again.”

She sensed her friend’s nervousness, so Bailey reached back and put her hand on Andi’s knee. There wasn’t time for a long conversation, but she felt for her friend. This would be the first time she’d seen the baby she gave up since he was born. Even so, Andi had told her yesterday she wasn’t worried about it or overly sad. She wanted to be at the party to celebrate Bailey’s coming wedding. Seeing her birth son would only be God’s way of showing her everything was okay, that she’d done the right thing. Andi had told Bailey she was convinced.

The other Baxters who would attend today felt the same way, from what Bailey had heard. There was nothing awkward about Andi being there. God would use the situation privately as He intended. Otherwise the day ahead was about Brandon and her, and the miracle of their love.

Bailey could hardly wait.