Love's Suicide: Love's Suicide (25 page)

“Leave Brooks out of this. He’s got nothing to do with the way you’re treating me. He’s done nothing!”

Bobby held out his arms for B. She sheltered her face in my bosom and it pissed him off more. He grabbed her from me, making her scream. I grabbed her jacket, determined I was getting her away from him.

He walked over and sat in his favorite recliner, watching me. “You think you’re goin’ somewhere?”

“I want you to leave, Bobby. Go stay at your house until you can get yourself straight. I can’t live like this anymore.”

He began laughing loudly. “Do you seriously think you’re going to get rid of me and move your pretty boyfriend right in?”

“No! I’ve never even considered that! I swear.”

B was reaching her arms out and crying loudly. I didn’t know what to do. “Bobby, please let me take her. She’s scared.”

He pulled her closer to him and she screamed harder.
He made her look at him. “Tell daddy how much you love him.” Tears streamed down her face and I was so upset for her. She didn’t understand and he’d never acted so violently around her. It was when I knew he’d finally lost it. Bobby couldn’t take it anymore. Whether or not I was admitting it, Brooks was back in my life and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t deny my love for him.

“Give her to me.”

He rolled his eyes and finally let her jump into my arms. I kissed her lightly on the head and ran my fingers through her soft light curls. “Shh, Mama has you.”

I walked her into the kitchen to get her settled down and heard something being thrown against
the wall in the other room. Then I heard the door slam, and I took a deep breath, preparing for what was coming. “It’s going to be okay, sweet girl.”

I hated the idea of doing it, but I pulled my phone out of my
pocket and called the police. Bobby was outside, so I walked over and locked all the doors, including the deadbolt. Me and B went into her room and I started packing her a bag. Until I knew that Bobby couldn’t come near us, I was taking my daughter and staying in a hotel.

About ten minutes after I called, I heard a car pulling in the driveway and looked out to see that it was the police. Bobby must have gotten scared, because he tried to come in the house. I opened the window and called out to the officer. “He attacked me.”

The officer pulled out his stick and started walking toward Bobby. I hated that he was doing this to us, but wasn’t going to live with someone that beat on me whenever his life wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t a punching bag and I certainly wasn’t one of those women that sit around and take it over and over again.

The officer got Bobby seated on the porch steps and I finally opened the front door. At that same time, Bobby got up and came running after me. I slammed the screen door in his face, stopping him
from coming forward. The officer didn’t waste any time handcuffing him, and forcing him into the back of his car. “Ma’am, I need to know what you want me to do here. He’s your husband, and because this is a domestic dispute, it’s up to you.”

I looked down at B and then back at the officer, while keeping my composure. “I’m pressing charges for assault.”

I let him inside to take my statement. The whole time I felt sorry for Bobby, as if all of this
was
my fault for loving Brooks after I said that I wanted to stay in my marriage. Now I was sitting there not only breaking his heart more, but also giving him a criminal record to add.

I walked the officer out and saw Brooks’ truck coming up the driveway. When I turned to look at the police car, I saw him watching as my knight in shining armor hopped out and approached me.

It was that pivotal moment where I knew my life was about to change again and as much as it hurt, I knew it was going to be a long and painful journey.

Chapter 34

Brooks didn’t wait for the officer to pull all the way down the driveway before walking me inside of my house. Once the door was shut, he grabbed both of my shoulders and forced me to look at him. One
glance at my face told him all he needed to know and that was before I noticed the hand-marks on my arm. “How long has he been doing this to you? Is this because of me?” Brooks looked pained, as if he’d caused me to get beat up by my husband.

I sat down on the couch and started to cry. “No. It’s not you. It happened before. That’s why we separated. He got help and I didn’t let him come back until after he had his accident. Things were better for a
long time, but now he’s so jealous and I don’t know how to make him believe that there’s nothing going on between us. He thinks I’ve been sleeping with you.”

Brooks did that thing where he clenched his jaw. B ran over and wrapped her arms around
his legs. He picked her up, looking at how she’d been crying too. “Has he ever touched her?”

I shook my head. “No. Never. I don’t know that he would. Bobby only takes out his anger on me.”

He pointed at me, with the most serious look on his face. “He won’t lay a damn hand on you again, Kat. I can guarantee you that.”

“You can’t get involved, Brooks. It makes things worse.”

He kneeled down in front of me. With B on his lap, he looked right into my eyes. “Don’t you get it? I’m already involved. You might be married to him on paper, but that doesn’t make you his.”

I cried harder, scared of what was going to happen next. “He said if I ran to you he’d hurt me.”

Brooks stood up. “Pack a bag for each of you. You’re coming with me tonight and we’ll figure out what to do next in the morning.”

I refused to stand up. “I can’t do that. This is my mess.”

“She’s my daughter, Kat. I might not have been around her that much, but she’s my responsibility. I will kill him if he tries to hurt either one of you again.”

I finally stood up, pleading with him. “That’s exactly why I don’t want you helping. I can’t let you put yourself on the line for me. I’ve done enough harm to you.
My marriage problems are something I have to deal with on my own. I shouldn’t have even called you.”

“But you did. You called me, because you knew I’d show up.”
Brooks was getting mad at me. “Pack a damn bag now. I’m not leaving here without you. Bobby knows a lot of people in this town. He’ll be released in a few hours and where do you think he’ll come looking first. Is this the first time you’ve had him arrested?”

I started crying harder. “Yes.”

“Then he’s going to be more pissed.” He looked at B. “Tell Mama that she needs to listen to me.”

She looked at me
with a straight face. “Yisten, Mama.”

I laughed through my sorrow and finally got up. Ten minutes later we were locking the doors and packing up his truck with our bags. Once we got B’s
car seat fastened we were on our way to somewhere that we would be safe, until I could get a protective order and go home again.

It was obvious that
I’d also have to contact my lawyer and talk to him about the best way to proceed with my marriage, or ending it.

I was done trying to work things out with Bobby. He would never trust me with Brooks and I wasn’t willing to give him up, whether we stayed friends forever or became something more. He’d always be my daughter’s father and there was nothing that Bobby could do about it.

Since Brooks had to report to work the next morning, he took us to a hotel near the army base. He helped me get everything inside and found cartoons on the television for B. One thing that I liked was that it wasn’t a flea infested dump. It was a well-known chain of hotels that even had room service, so we didn’t have to leave our room, if we didn’t want to. It also had an indoor pool and a gym that I knew I wouldn’t be able to use with B in tow.

Brooks and B sat on the opposite
side talking about a cartoon, while I went into the bathroom to wash my face. I looked like Hell and was more than embarrassed to have been around Brooks all afternoon without looking at myself once. I tried to fix my hair, but it was a rat’s nest. When I grabbed my brush and ran it through the back of my head, I hit a tender area and cringed. My fingers felt around and the wetness in a small area let me know that my head had been busted open.

“Brooks, can you come in here for
a minute?”

He came in and saw me standing there holding my head. “What’s wrong?”

I looked right at him and reconsidered telling him, since I knew he’d go off the deep end over it. After realizing that I needed first aide and didn’t want to go to the hospital, I was out of other options. “Look at my head and tell me how bad it is.”

I felt his hands touching me and separating my hair. Under his breath, so our daughter couldn’t hear him, he asked, “Did he do this to you?”

I looked at him in the mirror and closed my eyes when I saw how concerned he was. “Yes.”

Brooks grabbed a washrag and wet the tip of it. He dabbed it at my head, to clean the wound and get a better look. “You’re goin’ to need at least one stitch.
I can run on base and get a kit if you’d rather me do it here.”

I turned around and looked into his eyes. “I’m so sorry I got you into this.”

He tightened his face and shook his head. “Just stop with the apologies. We’ve both got shit that we wish we could take back. I don’t care what you’ve done. All I care about is giving our daughter a good life. Whether we’re together or not, we’re still a team. We’re always going to be a team, from now on. Do you understand?”

I leaned against the sink and smiled, knowing he wasn’t going to let me argue about it, not that I was even going to. “I hear you loud and clear.”

“Good. I’m going to run over to the base. I’ll be back in a half hour to get that head of yours cleaned up. Do you need me to pick up anything? How about milk for B? Will she need anything special?”

I walked out and found her lying on her
stomach on the bed. Her feet were in the air and she was staring directly at the television. “Hey, sweetie. Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry?”

She was too preoccupied with her show. I turned to see Brooks standing near the door. “Can
you find her a can of fruit or something like that at your commissary?”

He smiled. “Does she like bananas and apples? We’ve got plenty of them.”

“Yeah. She loves them.”

“I’ll get some milk and fruit and bring it back with me. Sit tight. I’ll be back soon.”

I ran toward the door and caught him in the hallway. “Brooks, wait!”

He turned
around.

“Thanks for this.”

“I’ll be back. Take a nice bath and get that wound cleaned. I don’t want any bacteria in it when I stitch it up.”

I watched him walk over to the elevator. He looked so handsome in his fatigues, but aside from his appearance, I felt like I was completely safe. Being with Brooks was like medicine for the soul. B was a very lucky little girl to have a hero for her father.

When I went back into the room, I found her sound sleep. Her one hand was still propping up her face a bit, so I flipped her around on a pillow and covered her up, after removing her shoes and socks.

I turned on the water in the tub and let it fill up before I could climb in. When I started removing my clothes, I looked in the mirror to find more
bruises from where I had been trying to fight my way free from Bobby’s hold. I stared at my naked body and felt disgusted with myself. Someone my age should still be beautiful with great skin, not hiding from her husband in a hotel with bruises all over her body.

I felt so ashamed and mad at myself for being naïve and marrying Bobby. Sure, there was a part of me that loved the Bobby that cherished me and my daughter, but I hated the one that had left these marks on my body. He frightened me in
a place where I should have been able to feel the safest.

When I climbed into the hot water
, and got myself situated, it was like I could feel every bone in my body aching. My head hurt and it wasn’t just back where the small gash was. Stress and frustration were getting the best of me and I knew for my daughter’s sake that I needed to get myself calmed down.

I put a warm rag over my face and closed my eyes. The cartoon channel was still on in the other room and I could hear the sound effects when something exciting would happen. It made me think about B’s smile and how
happy she always was. Then it reminded me of the fear that I’d seen in her eyes just hours before.

My cries this time were out of guilt. I felt like a failure to myself and my child. I’d been stupid for thinking that Bobby
had changed and even more idiotic for assuming that he’d be okay with me being around Brooks.

The water had started to get cold, but the tears kept coming. When I heard the door open, it startled me. First, I was on high alert from what had happened to me and secondly, my daughter
was in the bed asleep. I sat up in the tub, covering my appendages with a rag and my hands. Brooks peeked in the doorway. “It’s just me.”

He didn’t move though. Instead, he stood there looking at me. “Do you mind?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I don’t mind at all. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”