Mike might as well hear it
from me as from anyone. “Daniel Greene got drunk, followed me home
and tried it on.” I pointed to the bruise on my cheek and my split
lip. “Radford came to my rescue and laid him out. An hour later,
the police arrived to arrest Radford and I gave a witness
statement.”
The story obviously didn’t add up
for Mike because he frowned. “So you were still with Radford when
he was arrested?”
I could see the cogs whirring
inside his head. So much for keeping things discreet, I thought.
“Radford’s eyebrow split open in the fight and I took him upstairs
to patch him up. He hung around for a while in case Daniel came
back. The police arrived instead.”
“Was Radford charged?”
“No, thank heavens. But his lawyer
advised me to press charges against Daniel. For the good of the
firm, I didn’t. I wish I had now.”
“Did Greene come back over the
weekend?”
I blushed crimson but realised
there was no point in keeping secrets from Mike, the friend I’d
trained beside and worked closely with for six years. Particularly
not now my career had gone up in flames. He might as well know how
much of a fool I’d been.
I picked up a tissue and
wiped my eyes. “I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I spent the weekend
at Claridges with Radford Byrne.”
“What?” Mike let me go and took a
step back. I saw the anger in his eyes and winced. “Bastard! How
dare he take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable?”
“He didn’t.” I jumped to Radford’s
defence and decided Mike may as well know everything – that I was
prepared to fall into bed with a man I hardly knew. “I booked the
hotel room while he was being questioned. If anyone did the
seducing, it was me.”
“Jesus,
Allie!
” Mike raked his hand through his
hair and struggled to hide his disapproval. “What happened to your
golden rule?”
“I know. I messed up. Big time.” I
swept my arm around me at the half filled boxes. “Thanks for
pointing it out though.”
Unable to stand any longer,
Mike lowered himself down heavily onto a chair. He could hardly
look me in the eye. I couldn’t work out whether he was angry,
disappointed in me or just jealous of Radford.
“What are you going to do?” he
asked.
“You tell me. The partners were
quick to point out that every law firm in London will know I’ve
been sacked by the end of the day. And they’re hardly going to
write me a glowing reference.”
“You don’t deserve this,” Mike
said, stating the obvious. “None of this is your fault.”
“No. But it’s my problem and I’ve
just got to deal with it. If I’m stupid enough to get myself into
this mess, I need to be clever enough to figure a way out of
it.”
“Can I help?”
“No. This is between Radford
and me. The fewer witnesses the better.
I sat in a
coffee shop in The Strand. halfway through my third latte
of the morning. Across the road was the alleyway leading down into
Temple where Radford was no doubt going crazy because he hadn’t yet
heard from me. I’d had half a dozen calls from him already but had
ignored them all. I hadn’t worked out yet what to say.
Eventually Mike texted me to say
Radford had been in touch with him and that I needed to call
Radford urgently. I couldn’t put it off any longer and my sacking
wasn’t exactly a conversation I could have with Radford over the
phone.
Pulling all my courage together
therefore, I texted him and said I’d meet him outside his chambers
in ten minutes.
He
was already waiting on the steps outside his building when
I rounded the corner. I’d imagined seeing him again under very
different circumstances so I couldn’t help imagining what was going
on under that well-cut charcoal suit or appreciating how the pale
blue shirt complemented his eyes.
Lawyer he may have been but
he still took gorgeous to illegal levels.
Upon seeing me, he let out a huge
sigh of relief and the beginnings of a smile lit his face. It soon
faded, however, when he saw how pale and shaken I was.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching
out to take me into his arms but I dodged out of the way. I didn’t
want half of London’s legal profession seeing me crying on his
shoulder. Heaven only knows what trouble they might have imagined
between us. “Come inside,” he said. “I’ll get you a coffee.”
I shook my head. “I’ve had enough
coffee to float a battleship today. Let’s walk. The fresh air might
clear my head.”
He fell into step beside me,
through the cobbled courtyards and into the gardens where we found
a bench in the sun and sat down. His hand reached automatically for
mine but I shook it off and put as much distance as I could between
us. Touching him would only cloud my judgement.
“Mike told me what happened,” he
began. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not as sorry as I am,” I snapped.
“I told you getting involved was career suicide.”
“Now hang on a minute.” Radford
raised his hands in front of him as if surrendering. “This is down
to Daniel Greene, not me. If I hadn’t stepped in, God only knows
what would have happened.”
He was right but clarifying the
sequence of events hardly got me my job back. “But if I hadn’t worn
such a provocative dress or been so desperate to flirt with you,
Greene might have picked up different vibes. He thinks I made all
that effort for him.”
“He has no right to assume that.”
Radford paled with anger. “Being beautiful doesn’t give men an
automatic right to come on to you.”
“Well you did.”
“What?”
“Made it clear you wanted to go to
bed with me.”
“Well can you blame me? You didn’t
exactly make yourself unavailable.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I
demanded. “Are you saying this is my fault? That I deserved
this?”
Radford did a double take. “What?
No! Of course not. But you’re insinuating that I made all the
running when you were as eager to fall into bed as I was.”
I got up and walked away from him,
struggling to keep a lid on my temper. I don’t know what I’d
expected from Radford – support, sympathy or maybe even some
practical suggestions – but I obviously wasn’t going to get any
help.
“Look, I’m sorry.” Radford was at
my side and turning me to face him. “That came out all wrong. I’ve
been worried sick about you all morning.”
He tried to put his arms around me
but I stepped away. Once he touched me, I knew every ounce of
common sense would drain from me to be replaced with longing. I
needed to focus right now, not return to the fantasy we’d created
in the hotel suite over the weekend.
“I’m sorry too,” I said, covering
my face and letting out a long sigh despair. “I’m still in shock.
My life’s fallen apart around me and I don’t know what to do.”
“Then let me help,” Radford
offered.
His handsome face puckered
with concern and helplessness
, pulling
his black eye tight and he touched his cheekbone lightly. He winced
slightly in pain and a shaft of sympathy shot through me but it was
short lived.
“Come back to my flat. I’ll
make some calls
,” he was offering. “I
could find you half a dozen openings before the end of the
day.”
As if I’d fall for that. Within ten
minutes we’d be in bed together, my career forgotten for another
few hours. No matter how tempting, the answer to my problems
wouldn’t be found between Radford’s sheets.
“I can’t.” I refused to
weaken even though I longed to lay my head on his shoulder and sob
my heart out. “I need some time to let the dust settle.”
“That’s a great idea. Let’s get
away for a couple of weeks while we work out what to do. Now I’ve
lost the Zeus Developments case, my diary’s empty.”
The idea of lying beside Radford on
a beach for two weeks brought a blush to my cheeks. Hot sun during
the day and an even hotter man in bed with me at night time.
But it would only be delaying the
inevitable. We’d be falling deeper into fantasy when, what I really
needed, was a healthy dose of reality loaded in my favour.
“Getting involved with you was my
first mistake,” I said. “I’m not about to make a second.”
“Mistake?” Radford stared back at
me in disbelief. “How can you call the weekend a mistake? It was
incredible. We were incredible together.”
He was right but the need for self
preservation was stronger and I answered him sharply. “It was lust.
Pure and simple,” I said. “Excitement. Libido. The thrill of the
chase. Call it what you like. But that kind of relationship has a
very limited shelf life.”
Radford shook his head in
disbelief. “It was far more than that and you know it. We have a
connection. I felt it the first moment I saw you and the weekend
only proved it to me. We’re at the start of something very
special.”
I’d picked the wrong man to argue
with – one who instinctively went in search of the truth. The
weekend might have been all about the sex and the physical
experience but underpinning it had been something far more
profound. Radford wasn’t a man who’d bore me over breakfast in a
week’s time. He was someone who needed unwrapping layer by layer
until I found the heart beating at the centre.
And I already knew that, the
more I learned about him, the more I’d come to care for and respect
him.
Only every time I looked at him,
I’d remember who I’d been with the weekend my career imploded and
I’d probably always blame him for it. No great relationship begins
with recriminations – there’s only one place to go from there.
And Radford deserved better than
that.
“Was it so special?” I asked
honestly, knowing Radford would pick up on any hint of a lie. “The
sex was unbelievable, the best I’ve ever had. And you’re gorgeous.
Handsome, intelligent, funny, sexy.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Clever
as he was, he couldn’t work it out for himself.
But then I wasn’t sure about any of
it either.
“My career has been my priority
since I left university. I’m fantastic at my job and I love going
to work every morning. At twenty-eight, and with four years’
post-qualification experience, I was almost guaranteed a junior
partnership next year. Suddenly, it’s all gone.”
“I still don’t see what that has to
do with us.”
I willed myself to be strong.
“Because after so many years of putting myself first, I don’t have
the energy to start thinking about someone else at a time like
this. I need to get my life back on track. Find another job. Start
building my career back up. My work defines me. It’s who I am.
There’ll be no space left for a relationship.”
“Take some time alone,” he urged.
“There’s no need for a quick decision. If you want me to back off,
that’s fine. I’ll leave you to yourself for a few days. Call me
when you’re ready to see me again.”
He clearly hadn’t understood. “I’m
not talking about a few days apart. I’m talking about ending this
right here.”
“What?” He stood before me
incredulous, his poor,
blackened eye
swollen half closed. “You won’t even give us a chance?”
“What if I did?” I rounded on
him. I’d spent the whole morning agonising over this and hadn’t
been able to come up with any other solution. “We could take a few
weeks off. Travel around Europe. Spend every day and night
together. But, given our track records, we’d not last any longer
than that.” I paused, waiting for Radford to jump in and disagree
but he simply stood there, scowling. “A month later, I’d land back
in England with no job, no relationship and still no idea what I
was going to do with my life.”
“It wouldn’t be like that.”
He took a step forward and slid his
hands around my hips. My mutinous body responded, despite my
determination not to, and I leaned in toward him. It felt so
wonderful to be in his arms again – the most natural place for me
to be – and I almost weakened. I laid my head against his chest for
a few moments, listening to his heart racing and knowing that,
under any other circumstances, I’d have given this relationship my
best shot.
Radford needed to know that. It was
only fair.
“You’re right,” I said, pushing
away from him and disentangling myself from his arms. “This could
be something special If I could have put together a brief for the
kind of man I wanted, it would have ended up on your desk. You’re
amazing. And if we’d have met without all these complications in
the way…who knows?” I shrugged to show I’d reached the end of my
logic.
“But you’re still not prepared to
give us a chance?”
I put my hand against his cheek. He
turned his head and his lips brushed the inside of my wrist,
overheating my pulse and making me catch my breath.
“I could fall for you, Radford,” I
said. “Really fall for you. You aren’t the only one whose heart
received a jump start the moment we met.”
“Then stay. Let’s work this out
together. Let me help you.”
I heard the urgency in his voice
but reminded myself he was an advocate at the top of his game. He
could make me hear and believe anything he chose to. I had to put
my own interests first.
“No. Because, after what’s happened
this morning, I couldn’t cope with a broken heart too. At the
moment, I only have my wrecked career to focus on. One problem
needing one solution. If I allowed myself to fall in love with you
and then lost you it would be too much. I don’t want to take the
risk. Not yet.”
“You’re looking for difficulties
where there might not be any.”
“Isn’t that what a good lawyer
does? Anticipates. Uses precedent to build a case. Heads off
problems before they appear. If you feel anything at all for me,
you’ll let me go.”