Love You Better (3 page)

3.

T
he following Monday afternoon, Effie sat behind her office desk and yawned. ‘Is it home time yet?’

Their flight had arrived back in London on Saturday afternoon, but her body clock seemed to have been left behind in Thailand.

Her workmate Nikki shook her head. ‘Nope. A hottie turned up for an interview while you were on lunch, though. I think Doug said something about him being a temp.’

‘But we don’t have any vacancies.’

‘Who knows? Doug’s the boss.’ Nikki shrugged. ‘I hope they make him permanent. Seriously, he was fit as.’

‘Makes no difference to me; I’m married now,’ Effie replied, throwing her a smug smile.

‘Married, not blind. You can still look. I’m with Jake, and I can still appreciate a good-looking guy when I see one.’

‘You’ve seen Olly. What’s the point in looking when it’ll never be better than that?’

Nikki mimed throwing up. ‘Honestly, you’re mental, coming back. If I were married to a rich barrister, I’d be a stay-at-home wife and spend my days shopping.’

‘No way,’ Effie replied. ‘I’d be bored stiff.’

Oliver had suggested the same thing on their honeymoon, but what else would she do all day? True, he earned enough money to provide for them both, but she loved her job. Archive was only a tiny record label, a goldfish in an ocean, but while the pay wasn’t fantastic, and she could do the admin work with her hands tied behind her back, the six-strong team operated like a family.

Nikki handed her a stack of CDs that were waiting to be mailed out. ‘Seriously. You have no idea how lucky you are. You’ve got everything.’

Later that evening, Lou plonked herself into the chair opposite Effie in a bar close to her office, and waved to one of the waiters.

‘Okay, spill it,’ Lou said. ‘I’ve been dying to catch up properly. The thing at the wedding with Smith? Omigod.’

‘Hello. I’m fine, thank you. Thailand was awesome,’ Effie replied, deadpan.

‘FYI, I know Thailand was good because you kept posting
nausea
-inducing photos on Facebook. You do look great, though.’ Lou turned to the young waiter who’d appeared by their table. ‘Chablis, please.’

Effie nodded at the waiter. ‘Same.’

‘So, Smith. Have you heard anything more from him? I can’t believe he actually turned up.’ Lou’s eyes were wide as she shook her head, and the mere mention of Smith’s name made Effie’s hair stand on end. ‘And I’m sorry to say this, but he looked good.’

‘You only saw him from the back,’ Effie replied, ‘and it wa
s da
rk.’

‘It was light enough for me to see, and he looked fit as.’

‘Not helping, Lou.’

‘Sorry,’ she replied, looking contrite.

Effie sighed. ‘As annoying as it is to admit it, he
did
look good. Travelling seems to have agreed with him. Wherever he was.’

His skin was beautifully tanned, and while he’d always had a great physique, lugging a backpack around had only added to it. He seemed to have come back with an air of quiet confidence that clung to him like a second skin.

‘Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand,’ Lou said as the waiter came back and filled their glasses. She looked up at him and smiled. ‘I think we need the bottle.’

Had he made it to Koh Tao? Effie hoped not. She didn’t want to have seen the same things he had on her honeymoon.

‘Hang on a minute,’ Effie said, frowning. ‘You said you couldn’t believe he’d
actually
turned up. Did you know he was coming back?’

‘Okay, so here’s the thing.’

‘Lou!’ Effie put her head in her hands. ‘What the hell?’

‘He turned up at ours the night before at stupid o’clock in the morning, but I didn’t know until I woke up. By the time Mickey told me, he’d already gone. The last I’d seen, he was posting pictures of himself rock climbing in Thailand. I had no idea he was going to come, not until the last minute. That’s why I tried to get you outside.’

Of course. Effie remembered the look Lou had exchanged with Mickey when his phone had beeped just before they’d gone for a cigarette. She looked up at Lou, her best friend, and shook her head with a scowl.

‘And you didn’t think to tell me?’

‘It was your wedding day. I didn’t want it to be ruined. The plan was that Mickey would intercept and get rid of him. I promise you, I had no idea he was planning on gatecrashing until he messaged Mickey, and by that time it was too late to say anything.’

Effie sighed. ‘God, what a mess. I don’t know why he came back at all, other than to piss me off.’

‘I really am sorry. I just couldn’t tell you in time.’

‘It’s fine. It will
be
fine. He’s just messing with my head like he always did.’

‘What did you talk about anyway?’

‘Nothing. Apparently, he wanted to see what was so great about
whoever it was
that – and I quote – had me skipping up the aisle so quickly. He called Olly a Hoorah Henry.’

Lou winced. ‘Ouch.’

‘He was just trying to cause trouble, doing what he does best.’

‘He went to a lot of effort to do it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him suited and booted before.’

Neither had Effie, but, bloody hell, did suited and booted look good on him. She had to grudgingly admit that, despite what he may have thought, he would’ve blended in with the rest of the guests. Not that she’d have ever allowed that to happen. Hell would’ve had to be frozen over first.

‘You didn’t . . . you know . . . feel anything for him when you saw him, did you?’

Effie rolled her eyes. ‘Get real.’

‘It’s just that you’ve always had a bit of a blind spot with him. I’m not saying you don’t love Olly. Who wouldn’t love him? He’s fab. But this is Smith we’re talking about.’

‘Exactly,’ Effie replied. ‘Smith. The guy who strung me along for months on end and shagged around without a second thought.’

‘Good. I’m glad you remember that part. I was worried he’d wormed his way back into your head. I mean, he’s a great friend and an ace guy, but as a boyfriend?’ Lou shook her head.

‘I know,’ Effie replied, ‘and I’m not about to fall back into that, trust me.’

‘Olly is so much better for you. It’s just that you only had a month apart from Smith before meeting him. It wouldn’t be unnatural for you to be confused.’

It wasn’t the first time Effie had heard comments about how quickly her relationship with Oliver had moved. It was nothing new, but now Smith and his bloody chiselled cheekbones had shown up, it made it seem less romantic and more foolish.

Effie poured out more wine. ‘There’s no confusion. Things moved fast with Olly because they were right. I haven’t thought about Smith for months, and I refuse to get sucked back into his crap.’

‘You know you won’t be able to avoid him forever,’ Lou said, pointing out the obvious. Effie might have cut him out of her life, but Lou’s relationship with Mickey, one of Smith’s best friends, guaranteed that Smith would always be around.

‘He’s not coming on Saturday, is he?’ Effie asked. The idea of Smith and Oliver being in the same space again made her feel sick.

Lou shook her head. Thank god. After years of talking about going to the ice rink at Somerset House, they’d finally bought
tickets
, and the last thing she wanted was to have Smith there.

‘I can’t believe he’s come back now,’ Effie said, sighing. ‘His timing couldn’t be worse. Mum emailed a few days ago. She’s passing through and wants to meet Olly.’

She sighed again and drained her glass. Having her mum out of the picture had been convenient, but now Oliver would be confronted with the mess that was Penny Abbott, and she’d probably be a
divorcée
before she knew it.

‘It had to happen some time,’ Lou said.

‘Did it, though? I mean, how many times have I seen her in the last ten years?’ Effie held her hand up, stretching all of her fingers and her thumb out wide. ‘Five. Five times in ten years. She couldn’t even be arsed to make it to the wedding, so what’s the point in her showing up now?’

‘I must admit, I thought she’d come for that,’ Lou replied with a sad frown on her face. ‘What’s Olly said about it?’

‘I haven’t told him yet.’ Effie groaned. ‘I mean, this is the woman who upped and left when I was fifteen to go live in some hippy-dippy commune and get high all day. It’s hardly normal.’

‘There’s no such thing as
normal
.’

‘Oliver grew up in the countryside with his sister, two dogs and a herd of chickens. His childhood was about as normal as you
can ge
t.’

‘He grew up in a mini mansion, went to private school and holidayed in Courcheval. That’s definitely not normal.’

Effie’s mum might have left a wad of money behind and called every now and again, but it didn’t make up for being abandoned. It was hardly the kind of thing Effie wanted to broadcast.

‘You’re not happy to see her at all?’

Effie shrugged. ‘I’ve learned not to expect anything when it comes to her. That way I’m never disappointed.’

Lou squeezed her hand, and Effie threw her a small smile. When it rained, it poured.

‘Anyway, what’s new with you? I feel like all we ever do is talk about me these days.’

‘That’s because your life is so much more thrilling than mine.’ Lou grinned. ‘Let’s see, what’s new with me? Apart from basically wishing Mickey had been born into money too, so I could leave my job and do something I actually
want
to do for a living, not much. Rat-faced Rachel’s getting worse every day.’

Effie laughed at the nickname Lou had given to her new boss. ‘You shouldn’t let her get to you, and it’s only for a couple of months.’

‘I know, but it’s supposed to be a development secondment. How can I learn anything when I’m being micro-managed every second of every day? I can’t even breathe without her permission.’

A project management secondment had opened up in Lou’s department, and she’d signed up for it, hoping it would stand her in good stead for the next step of her career.

‘What’s happening with the cottage?’ Effie asked. Mickey’s aunt owned a property in West Ireland, and they were planning to rent it out for a few days over the Christmas break.

‘It’s fully booked until the New Year, so it’ll probably have to be in January.’

‘January works for us. It’s been ages since we’ve been away together, it’ll be fun. Focus on that.’ Effie smiled. Plus, you’ll be all nice and relaxed after Christmas.’

‘Ah.’ Lou sighed with a smile. ‘Christmas. Excessive food, crap telly and time off work. I can’t wait.’

As Effie grinned back, her mobile rang, and Oliver’s name flashed up at her. She answered it as Lou opened her menu.

‘Hey, baby. Where are you?’ Oliver asked.

‘I’m still with Lou. Are you finished already?’

‘Yep. The post-holiday blues have hit me. I’m done for the day. Do you need a lift home?’

Effie looked down at her menu lying on the table. ‘I was going to grab some food first.’

‘Sounds nice, but you know what could be even nicer? If I come
by an
d pick you up, we can stop in at the supermarket on the way home, and I could make you a nice home-cooked meal. What do you think?’

After two weeks of constantly eating out, the appeal of some comfort food was strong. Effie looked over at Lou. It was clear she’d guessed what Oliver had offered when she shook her head and rolled her eyes with a smile.

‘It’s fine,’ Lou said. ‘The food’s way too expensive here anyway.’

Effie grinned. ‘Okay. I’m in Zaza’s, around the corner from
the offi
ce.’

‘Great. I’ll be there in no time,’ Oliver replied and hung up.

‘Are you sure you don’t mind?’ Effie asked Lou, putting her phone back in her bag.

‘Not at all,’ Lou replied. ‘You’re a newly-wed – these things are to be expected. And that was exactly what I meant earlier. Olly’s so considerate.’

‘He is.’ Effie smiled. ‘I have to admit, getting a lift home is way more appealing than facing the Tube.’

‘If only
my
boyfriend would take a leaf out of his book.’ Lou sighed. ‘I’d love to be picked up once in a while.’

‘We’ll take you home too. Olly won’t mind.’

‘If I didn’t love you so much, I’d be racked with jealousy. I’m glad you haven’t let Smith mess with your head.’

With a husband like Oliver, she didn’t need guys like Smith trying to mess things up. She’d had the best five months of her life, and Christmas was only six weeks away. It would be her first with Oliver, and she couldn’t wait. All she had to do was get through an evening with her mum and avoid Smith first. Easy.

4.

B
ut just three days into those six weeks, Effie walked out of the small hut serving as a cloakroom at Somerset House
to see Sm
ith standing with Mickey. She turned and scowled at Lou.

‘What the hell is he doing here?’

‘I had no idea, I swear,’ Lou replied.

‘You’re the one who bought the tickets.’

Lou shrugged. ‘He must’ve bought his own – they’re not exclusive, you know. But he’s here now, and it’s not like we can tell him to leave.’

Effie sighed as they walked over to the boys, keeping her eyes well away from Smith’s.

‘All set?’ Mickey asked, taking Lou’s hand.

Smith nodded and looked at Effie. ‘Hope you don’t mind me crashing the party?’

She looked right back at him, ignoring the intensity of his eyes, and shrugged. ‘Seems like it’s becoming quite the habit for you these days.’

‘Now, now. Play nice, you two.’ Mickey laughed.

They joined the queue to change their shoes for skates, and Effie ignored Smith, standing by her side. Didn’t he have anything better to do than tag along with them and fill her nose with his scent?
He did
n’t even wear aftershave; it was just
his
smell, and it was intoxicating. Effie buried her nose into her scarf, and once they’d got their skates, she made sure not to end up sitting next to him on the bench. Unfortunately for her, he sat right opposite.

‘So where’s lover-boy Henry?’ he asked.

Effie looked at his legs as he stretched them out, trying to ignore the way his raw denim jeans fitted him so snugly, but it was hard when he was sitting there, right in front of her. He wore them so effortlessly, like a second skin, and for a split second she allowed her gaze to linger on his thighs before mentally slapping herself. God, she was pathetic. He flexed his feet, and she looked up at him.

‘His name’s Oliver, and he’s coming later on. He’s got a rugby do first.’

‘Figures.’

Effie glared at him, and Lou clapped her hands together loudly. ‘Well, I don’t know about you lot, but I’m beyond excited.’

Mickey laughed. ‘I’m looking forward to watching you fall flat on your arse.’

‘If I fall, you’re coming with me, so I’d be careful what I wished for if I were you.’

‘Man, I’d forgotten what you two were like together.’ Smith grinned, shaking his head. ‘You watch – I bet you’ll end up like Torvill and Dean out there.’

‘Hardly,’ Mickey snorted. ‘She can barely walk on a normal pavement, let alone on ice. She trips over about ten times a day.’

‘
Slight
exaggeration,’ Lou replied, rolling her eyes.

Effie grabbed the bobbles on the ends of the long strings
dangling
from the sides of her hat and yanked them down. Lou and Mickey were too cute together, and even though they’d always acted like that, it was different now that Smith was back. Effie and Smith had been the same way when they were together, and she knew by the way he was staring at her that he was being reminded of it too. She flicked her eyes up to the clock on the wall and hoped Oliver would turn up sooner rather than later.

As they stood up, Effie wobbled on her skates, and Smith steadied her, holding her elbow. ‘Careful. We’re not even on the ice yet.’

Since when did someone touching her elbow make her body flood with heat? She yanked it away and turned her back to him.

‘I’m fine.’

She wasn’t. It was the first time he’d touched her in months, and her skin was buzzing with electricity. She shook her head a little, feeling foolish for reacting so strongly, because even with her back to him, she knew his know-it-all grin would be plastered all over his face.

When the rink was finally opened up, Mickey and Lou shot out, laughing as they held hands, and Effie gingerly stepped off the rubber mats. She grabbed the barrier and slowly started making her way around the edge. Mickey and Lou were long gone, and so was Smith. He’d skilfully skated past her, annoyingly efficient on his blades. Effie didn’t care. She’d rather shuffle her way around than end up on the ground with her fingers splayed out for some overzealous show-off to run over. The last time she’d been ice skating was when she was fourteen, and she’d spent more time on her arse than her feet. She’d hated every minute of it, but Somerset House was different.

It wasn’t just about the skating; otherwise, she’d never have wanted to come. It was more to do with the beauty of it all. It was frequently named as the most glamorous ice rink in London, and it was only open for a few weeks each year. She’d seen it in films and TV shows, and now she was here, on the blue-lit ice, being bathed in the yellow lights from the buildings lining the courtyard.

After ten minutes, she’d made her first lap and still had all her fingers intact. Spotting Lou up ahead, resting against the barrier with Mickey, she gestured to them to wait for her. Laughter, shrieks and pop music filled the air, and it felt like she really was in the middle of a winter wonderland. It was cold and windy, but everyone was having fun, including, surprisingly, her.

Courage bolstered her, and as she approached a boy shuffling along ahead of her, she decided to overtake. She let go of the
barrier
just as someone whizzed past and knocked her shoulder. She squealed as her feet slid underneath her while she tried to regain her balance, but with nothing to hold on to, all she could do was close her eyes and remind herself to ball her hands into fists.

She landed with a small thud and gasped as the coldness seeped through her skinny jeans. A pair of skates skidded to a halt next to her, and she looked up at Smith extending his arm, and sighed. Of course it just
had
to be him coming to her rescue. Frustration rose inside her like a wave, and she scowled as she took his hand, scrambling to get back onto her feet.

‘Thanks,’ she mumbled, fighting to keep the blush from her cheeks as a group of teenage girls passed them and laughed.

He smiled back and squeezed her hand. ‘Any time.’

Effie dropped her hand from his and shoved it in her pocket. She’d expected to see Lou and Mickey making their way over, but instead they were doubled over laughing. What great friends
she h
ad.

‘You okay?’ Smith asked.

‘Fine.’

‘You know, the problem is that you’re trying to walk,’ he explained. ‘It doesn’t work that way on ice. If you do it like that, you can’t balance properly. You need to push your feet outwards, like this.’ He skated a few feet ahead of her, demonstrating how perfect he was at it before coming back. ‘Try it.’

Was he seriously trying to teach her how to skate? She shook her head, but he laughed and held out his hand.

‘Come on. You can’t just stand there forever. You’ll get knocked over again.’

She looked at the barrier, but it was four feet away. Swearing, she stuck her hand in his, ignoring the way his fingers curled around hers. Taking his advice, she pushed her feet out and tightened her grip on his hand.

He held her hand close to his chest. ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got you.’

Effie opened her mouth to retort, but instead she smiled. He’d been right – it was no wonder she’d fallen over before. She’d barely taken two glides, but already she felt centred and balanced, and as they approached Lou and Mickey, she couldn’t help but grin as they cheered her on.

‘Now that I wasn’t expecting,’ Mickey said as they sat in a chain cafe around the corner an hour and a half later. ‘Seems the Torvill and Dean award should go to you two.’

Smith took a gulp of his hot chocolate. ‘Hardly. She left me way behind.’

Effie grinned. After five minutes skating hand in hand with Smith, she’d let go and glided around the rink on her own. She’d wanted to see if she’d really got to grips with it, and if she was being honest, she needed to get away from him. Holding his hand had felt better than it should have, so much so that she hadn’t wanted to let go. From the moment he’d turned up at her wedding, she’d been abrasive towards him, but as they’d skated together, she found herself laughing at his jokes. It was all too familiar, and she didn’t want any part in it. And, she didn’t want Oliver to arrive and see them together. It turned out she needn’t have worried, because he’d decided to stay out with his friends and head into the West End. She couldn’t begrudge him a night out; he worked hard and rarely went out, but still. Somerset House was the perfect place for romance.

‘I’m just glad it wasn’t
me
on my arse. Some of those people were maniacs,’ Lou said.

As more people piled into the cafe, the smell of cigarette smoke breezed in through the door, and Effie sighed with longing. ‘God, I’d kill for a smoke right now.’

True to her word, she’d quit the day after the wedding, but the urge was overwhelming, and it wasn’t helped when Lou chucked a packet across the table.

‘I can’t,’ Effie said. ‘I’ve quit.’

‘Whatever,’ Lou replied and rolled her eyes.

Oliver would be so disappointed in her, but after a few
seconds
of internal debate, Effie shook a cigarette from the box and
grimaced
. ‘Not a word to Olly.’

Lou shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her hands around her mug. ‘A word about what? I’ll come for the next one. I’m still frozen to the bone.’

Effie shrugged her jacket on and ducked outside. As she leaned against the wall, she lit the cigarette and took a long, deep drag. She hadn’t realised how much she’d missed it until then. She knew it was bad for her, and she’d promised Oliver, but sometimes it was nice to just take a few minutes of time out. The nicotine rushed to her head as she blew out her second plume of smoke, and when she blew the third, Smith joined her.

‘You got a light?’ He held up his cigarette and Effie threw the lighter, aiming for his head. His hand shot up as he caught it effortlessly with a grin. She threw him an unimpressed look. Why did he have to be so annoyingly good at everything?

‘Did you have fun?’ he asked as he lit the tip of his cigarette.

She shrugged. ‘It was alright.’

‘What?’ He raised an eyebrow and blew his smoke out of the side of his mouth. ‘Ice skating too lowbrow in your world now,
is i
t?’

Effie shook her head. ‘Don’t be stupid.’

He leaned against the wall and looked down at her. ‘So, lover boy Henry didn’t show. What a shame.’

‘Did you come out here just to piss me off?’ She glowered at him, wishing he’d disappear as quickly as the smoke trailing off the end of her cigarette.

‘You know, I’ve been trying to figure it out. I mean, nobody gets married that quickly after meeting someone.’

‘Let me save you the trouble: I love him.’

‘You said the same thing to me once. I’m not convinced you mean it this time round.’

‘Whatever.’ Effie flicked her cigarette into the road. ‘You have no idea how arrogant you sound.’

‘Oh, I dunno. I don’t think you’d react to me like you do if you didn’t still feel something for me. The way you yanked your elbow away from me earlier was like I’d just tried to kill you rather than help you.’

‘And you think that’s a sign that I’ve got feelings for you? Sounds like you’re a bit deluded to me,’ Effie replied.

‘No. It was the way you were holding on to me while we were skating that did it.’

How did he do that? How did he always manage to seem like he knew what was going on in her head? She looked up at him, expecting to see the know-it-all smirk, but instead all she saw were his eyes searching hers. She sighed and leaned back against the wall.

‘This conversation is irrelevant. We were never a real couple – you were pretty clear about that. And you left. You made your decision, and I made mine.’

‘It wasn’t like I had a choice.’

She pushed herself off the wall. ‘That’s exactly what I mean. You’re always surrounded by drama. You left, and you know what? It was the best thing you could’ve done, because I’m happy. I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted. Love, happiness – stability.’

‘Stability? You’re twenty-five, not forty-five. Is that why you got a ring on your finger? Did he promise you a house and two-
point-fi
ve kids? Yearly holidays to the Bahamas?’

A house, kids and holidays. Yes, it was what she wanted. She wanted stability. She
needed
it, and Smith leaving had made her realise that he could never have been the one to give it to her. Like fate, she’d met Oliver a month later, and he’d offered to give her everything she’d ever wanted. At the time it had felt like pure romance, but now Smith was back, gazing at her with that look of his, the one that always made her feel like he was undressing her with his eyes, Oliver’s romancing suddenly felt like the dullest thing in
the worl
d.

‘I would have given you all that. You know I would. Screw the Bahamas, I’d have given you the world.’

‘I’d like to know how, exactly, when you couldn’t even bring yourself to call me your girlfriend?’

‘Don’t do that, Eff.’ He shook his head. ‘Don’t make out that what we had didn’t mean anything. I
know
you, and I know you don’t belong in some rich boy’s la-la land. I know he can’t make
you h
appy.’